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Reviews
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)
The Horror, the horror
To say this film is juvenile is to insult the intelligence of young people. Strongly based on The Magnificent Seven and incorporating ideas poached from Star Wars, this is a Saturday morning cartoon with live actors. It should be treated with contempt because it suggests that a group of seven heroes allied by a small community of farmers can defeat an army with all its forces marshaled for combat with superior weaponry, discipline and training. The utter stupidity of this idea is matched by dialogue that normally comes from the mouths of poorly drawn animation of the 1970s. This is not the worst film ever made because it doesn't deserve the name of "a film." I beg you, if you cherish life, waste it not and do something, anything else than watch this garbage.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
overun its course
When original ideas are cast aside in favour of nostalgia or by the moronic idea that people only want to see what they are familiar with, the gaps are filled with mediocrity. Rusted on fans of the original will enjoy their stroll down memory lane, others not so. There are occasional quips, but the story is flat save for the relationship developing between the younger Spengler and a chess playing ghost. However, the decision to dilute this to a point where not even a kiss is shared counters the important role this character plays in the plot. Otherwise, the plot is paper thin: A new ghost is in town, and the gang defeat it. The suspense on whether they will succeed is non-existent. Mckenna Grace dominates the film with her performance and invests the only discernible emotion present.
Kalahari (2024)
this is a Z grade film
The story is the worse collection of cliches about Africa and "the natives" (that's what the script calls the local people) made after1950. The story follows a spoiled rich kid and his friend with their guide and a missionary doctor and his wife who crash in a light aircraft in an unspecified African country. Apparently there are lions so the rich kids and pilot go off to a nearby village, but the pilot who apparently can't read a map "makes a wrong turn." That's word for word. They return to the crash site and get jumped by a couple of "natives" with AK47 wearing Day of the Dead make-up. There's lots of shouting, unseen lions leaving blood trails from missing passengers and a happy ending for at least one. The dialogue is moronic, the acting even from the two names stars is so wooden, they could have built a glider to escape the lions, who we see very little of. Overall the film is very weak, not scary at all, dull and stupid. There's nothing positive to say about it, except when the plane crashes, it looks like it was shot down in the Battle of Britain.
Force of Nature: The Dry 2 (2024)
Ignore the Critics
Some critics seem to think this movie should have followed the typical "who done it" story line. That's not this film, which intertwines three stories to explain tragic events in the lives of all the players. The film's entertainment is the unraveling of the twists which revels their interconnection.
At the centre of this film is the protagonist and his connection to the events in the rain forest where a woman has become separated from her work companions. During the race to find her before she dies, we view his history with the location which introduces an element of horror regarding a mass murderer who stalked the woods decades ago.
The women who become lost have their own stories and are employed by a corrupt company. Their histories give depth to the events which unfold. The Plot is everything and the acting is top notch. The beauty of the location and cinematography captures the mood of foreboding and victimization that adheres the character's stories. This film is highly recommended for those who yearn for a story built on layers.
Planet Earth III (2023)
Spoilt by inane narration
It has to be admitted that the filming of this series is exceptional. All credit goes to the tireless camera people who toiled in the harshest of circumstances and due to superhuman patience and dedication, captured imagines that are some of the best wildlife pictures ever made. Such quality of work deserves a narrative that is both informing and entertaining. Alas, the script falls very short indeed.
Criticism should not be leveled at David Attenborough, who narrates not presents the monologue. His reputation is deserved, but as age has advanced, his contribution to later documentaries that markets his name is less and less.
The fault lies with the script writers who present an inane account of what is seen. The words do little more than describe what you see adding, if anything, a cringing emotional anthopomorphism. It does disservice to the marvellous work of the camera crews. Worse, it leaves many questions unanswered.
For those who are too tired to think and want incredible images, this documentary is the ticket. If you want more, you'll be disappointed.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
The not so magnificant seven
It's difficult to say anything good about this nonsense, except that the actors are top notch and the CGI is good enough for streaming. I felt sorry for the actors having to give voice to the script which vacillates from comic speech bubbles to giant chunks of exposition. There's little emotional connection between characters which is the tell of AI writing. Whether it is or not, it's just disjointed guff. Part one had in it's core a story-line pinched from Seven Samurai, which was re-used in the Magnificent Seven. Both those films were excellent. Rebel Moon takes the story into space where it dies. As it jumps from warrior to warrior to save the simple farmers there's enormous gaps on logic. The decision to go from one to another is random and has a element of aimlessness - decisions are not made based on reason, just "oh, that's a good idea." There's no suspense, no tension, no investment in characters or their quest, no coherent history of the universe where this occurs; there's nothing but noise.
Ancient Civilizations (2017)
Mumbo Jumbo
Imagine blending the "aliens started life on earth" from Scientology with the crass "lizard-aliens are amongst us." It sounds like bad science fiction and is. Now imagine this being claimed to be scientifically proven with reliance on stories and plots of tv shows and movies. If you think this looks like fun or might be true, watch this nonsense. The 'experts' place heavy reliance in episode one on Sumerian language being an isolate - "the only one!!" Well, it isn't, and even if it were, the other members of its family are likely to have died out as with other languages. The Attempt to explain the existence of human chromosome 2 is gob smacking and inane. I gave it one because of the pretty landscape shots and the selection of still photos from other sources (incl. Wiki) which gave it the air of authenticity.
Burning Questions: Star Trek: Picard (2022)
Soap
The first episode of season 2 was a hook. From thereafter it devolved into contradictions of ST science and characters, then crow-barred in unimaginative events to stretch out the plot. Yeah! Lets go from warp 6 to 9.5 and still be flying over the sun's surface. The whole Borg queen intrusion in episode 3 opened my mouth in utter disbelief.
Settlers (2021)
Unremarkable
The film is told from the perspective of the young girl Remmy as she grows into a young woman and endures tragic events. This leaves us in the dark about what's going on and why - which is a daring idea that either works magic or becomes dull or irritating. The stage of this story is the emptiness of Mars, so it has to rely on characterization to hold our interest. Despite some good acting, it sinks into blandness and even as i type this, its memory is slipping away.
Harrow (2018)
disappointing due to 20th century plotlines
With the cast and subject matter, i was eager to see this program. On the positive side, the central plot of solving a "cold case" was entertaining with sufficient diversions to maintain interest. The acting was of a high calibre and the sets were well done. What crashed it for me was the lazy reliance on a personal problem in the life of the protagonist to hook the audience with a soapy and laboured subplot. It seemed to have been written by a committee with a history of 20th century shows in hand. This lacked imagination and undermined the quality work performed by those in front and behind the camera. Shame on you.