Reviews

For those of you who have yet to catch Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'The Phantom of the Opera' in all of its theatrical glory, (or for those of you who could sing me the first three acts by heart), your patience has finally paid off.

Forget what the critics have been telling you...

Forget that Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman are not serenading you this time around...

Forget that Joel Schumaker directed this (and that he subsequently gave birth to 'Batman and Robin'...) THIS is 'The Phantom of the Opera', and it was well worth the wait.

The movie sets the story in a rich tapestry of sets and scenery that could never be duplicated on stage. The look is brilliant, and songs such as 'Prima Donna' and 'Masquerade' have to be seen to be believed. It not only invites you into the realm of Webber's decedent imagination, it allows you to experience the music up close and personal.

Emmy Rossum captures the true essence of Christine, giving her a youth and beauty that is fully distinguishable in her looks and in her voice. She radiates innocence, yet is supremely capable of emoting the passion and intensity that pours out of Webber's music. As was stated by many, she was simply born to play Christine.

And though Gerard Butler has garnered enough hate and criticism to rival that of his leading character, I found his performance neither terrible or distracting. What he lacks in vocal vibrato, he makes up for in his smoldering screen presence. He doesn't just capture your attention, he downright DEMANDS it! The chemistry between Emmy and him is overwhelming.

The supporting cast does an excellent job (with a large nod to Patrick Wilson for giving Raoul some much needed masculinity) and the music remains as powerful as it has been over the past thirty years. If it doesn't capture your heart, it will most definitely entertain! Get's the clowns_n_cookies 10 out of 10.

(And an extra 10 just for the heck of it...)

Of all the films I've had the opportunity of catching in the theater this year, 'Hero' was by far the most unexpected and pleasant surprise of them all. Though I count myself as having no real expectations for the movie itself, I certainly NEVER expected it to be the film it turned out to be.

But I'll stop before I start confusing you...

My original thought walking into the theater Monday afternoon was basically that I would be enjoying some sort of epic warrior tale (set in a very 'Crouching Tiger' esque fashion) that happened to be directed by one of Hong Kong's finest directors. I was intrigued to see what kind of substance Zhang Yimou could bring to an 'action' film... seeing as the majority of his finest material has been much more subtle.

Well kids, the movie did indeed deliver. It delivered in a way that completely threw me (and the other five people sitting in the theater) off guard. To say that the choreography and cinematography were nothing short of brilliant is an understatement. Words fail me as I'm typing this. Perhaps I'm over-exaggerating or building it up more than it needs be, but my enthusiasm has completely taken over my writing.

The real depth to this film though, as most others will tell you, lies in the story of the the warrior and the three assasins. This has to be Jet Li's crowning performance. And I never get tired of seeing Zhang Ziyi lending a supporting role in a film. But the real show stealers are undoubtedly Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung. Their portrayal of fated lovers Flying Snow and Broken Sword is the films greatest emotional center. The concept, though, is what makes the film memorable.

Get's the clowns_n_cookies ten out of ten.

As the last chapter of The Bride's bloodthirsty saga concludes with the inevitable fade to black, Quentin Tarantino completes what is arguably the most beautiful and compelling work of his entire career thus far. With no holds barred and expectations high, Kill Bill Volume 2 was more than just an added continuation of Volume 1. It was something else entirely.

Sheathing her sword for the final act, we find The Bride (Uma Thurman) nearing the end of her "roaring rampage of revenge"... taken from the beginning of the 'Two Pines Massacre' right into Bill's own back yard. The intensity never let's up as we follow The Bride from the bottom of an empty grave to the hill tops of China, carrying the audience with her each and every exhilarating step of the way.

Most will agree that Volume 2 is a far cry from Volume 1, given that it has an emotional depth and greater development of characters that the first is supposedly lacking. The action, of course, is toned down to accommodate these changes in plot and storyline, which perhaps is the biggest difference between both Volume 1 and 2. But be that as it may, each film is as significant to the story as the other is. Volume 1 and Volume 2 are separate parts of a perfect whole, much like the yin and yang. As fantastic as they are when standing alone, the true beauty of 'Kill Bill' is in the combination of the two movies together.

The same can be said of Quentin and Uma.

Tarantino and Thurman have a chemistry that is the equivalent of peanut butter and chocolate. Though pleasing enough to the tastes when taken separately, they are at their most enjoyable when meshed together. Uma portrays The Bride with a passion and emotional intensity that I never believed her capable of, which shows that Tarantino definitely has a way of bringing out the best in her.

To say that the supporting performances are nothing short of excellent is an understatement. David Carradine turns a terrific performance as Bill, (and more than justifies why he replaced Warren Beatty) while Michael Madsen and Darryl Hannah make each and every scene they're in stand out from the crowd. But it's Thurman who carries this movie to it's absolute excellence, proving that her lone place at top billing is 100% deserved.

With spectacular cinematography and Tarantino's usual blend of classic dialogue, 'Kill Bill Volume 2' is a must see for everyone by virtue of the fact that it's quite simply a great movie. To appreciate it to it's fullest extent; however... I'd suggest taking a peek at Volume 1, because this is Tarantino at his absolute best.

Gets the clowns_n_cookies 10 out of 10. (With an extra 10 to boot)

A simple question...

How do you make a B- vampire movie more interesting than other B- vampire movies?

Answer...

YOU THROW IN A MEXICAN WRESTLER!!! Woo hoo!

To the creators of 'Samson vs. The Vampire Women', my hat goes off to you. Few people could turn a bad movie into a down-right deliciously horrible one so effortlessly. That is a talent in of itself.

The acting, dialogue, and storyline are recognizably trite from scene one, but the premise is still fairly easy to follow. Vampires + reincarnated vampire sacrifice + spooky castle = a vampire movie. Then... suddenly out of nowhere... a mysterious masked wrestler pops up halfway through the film. Why, you ask?

To stop the vampires, of course!

This is Samson the wrestler, and it's his destiny to conquer evil. He wears a mask, sports a shiny cape with leotards, and drives around in a convertible! "But why a Mexican wrestler for the hero?" Well... because it's never been done before! That's why!

I must admit, these laughably bad B- movies are really a guilty pleasure with me. You really learn to appreciate their sheer stupididty... so long as you don't take them seriously. In any case, I'd recommend this movie to anybody. You have to see it at least once to believe it.

It begs the question, "Who felt that this story needed to be told?"

1.3 out of 10!!!

'Farewell My Concubine' is, in a word, excellent.

Though often portrayed as haunting and disturbing, it's also quite touching at times... attributed largely to the outstanding emotional performances by the film's lead cast. Hands down, Chen Kaige has directed one of the most beautiful films involving the fall of the great Imperial China... and subsequently... the friendship of two of China's greatest leading opera performers.

Leslie Cheung's role as Cheng Dieyi, the tormented 'concubine' of the story, is absolutely astounding, and is probably one of his greatest performances to date. Fengyi Zhang plays well opposite Cheung, and Gong Li is fantastic as always. The production sets are superb, as are the costumes and cinematography.

Definitely a must see for all fans of foreign cinema, and certainly worthwhile for all newcomers.

10 out of 10

To those of you who have yet to realize what an amazing actress Cate Blanchett is, look no further than 'Elizabeth'. The characters, the costumes, and the production designs are good enough to make this movie watchable, but it's Blanchett who breathes life into the film and makes it cinema storytelling at it's best.

The story revolves around the rise of the young Queen Elizabeth I (Blanchett) who would soon become one of England's most powerful rulers. Reviled as a heretic by the Catholic Church, surrounded in the midst of traitors, and caught up in a romance with a young Lord that could jeopardize her crown, Elizabeth is forced to learn that as a queen... she must become untouchable in order to maintain her throne.

The supporting cast does an excellent job with special nods to the ever elegant Geoffrey Rush, but it's Blanchett who manages to steal each and every scene. Her performance was more than Oscar worthy, and is surely one of her best.

A must see for all.

10/10

Once every so often in the long history of film, a movie will be made that breaks all boundaries of excellence. In no small way, it captures the eyes, hearts, and imaginations of millions of people around the world, and becomes one of the greatest cinematic masterpieces of it's time.

Such movies can never be replicated. There is no way you could remake 'Gone With the Wind' and hope to measure it with it's predecessor. There is no way you can retell the first, great 'Star Wars' trilogy and hope to capture the same magic and amazement created all those years ago. (Despite George Lucas's constant efforts to try and make them better... *coughs*)

And in the end, there is certainly no way that anyone, in any period of time henceforth, could take J.R.R. Tolkein's classic 'Lord of the Rings' novels and create movies that would dare to rival Peter Jackson's complete cinematic masterpiece.

This, my friends, IS the great cinematic masterpiece of our time. There is no replicating. There is no retelling. To call the film perfect is by no means true, but you would definitely have to *reach* perfection if you even dared to capture the brilliance that Jackson has created in his epic trilogy.

The landscapes and sets are, to put it shortly, absolutely breath-taking... especially when added to the emotionally stirring score by Howard Shore. The cast is superlative, with each actor completely embodying the characters so perfectly, you'd swear they were born to play them.

'The Fellowship of the Ring', when all is said and done, is arguably the greatest telling of a classic story in movie history. It stirs, it inspires, it saddens, and it overjoys. But most of all, it lingers with you... far longer than you believed it capable of doing.

And that, in the end, is what makes it the epic it aspires to be.

A masterpiece of its time.

Okay. It's official. You've really got to love a movie that shamelessly parades itself as a monster film when, in actuality, a good 87% of it is nothing but half-naked women traipsing around a deserted island.

In essence, that's really all that the film sets out to be: Naked women. From beginning to end. They dance, they stip, they have catfights, they go exploring, they go skinny dipping, they wrestle each other, they sex up the occasional island visitor, and they also get killed occasionally.

The end!

The actual 'spider' portion of The Horrors of Spider Island refers to the delicious male lead getting bitten by a radioactive spider and spouting fangs. He pops up now and then, but only just enough to remind you that this is a film about spiders and not angry, frightened, half-naked women. You have to love it for that.

A must see on all accounts. Make sure to invite the folks from MST3K along for the viewing.

Let me first start by saying that I loved 'The Matrix'.

I thought the concept was fantastic. The film took a theme that has been hashed unsuccessfully in previous movies and made it into something original and exciting. It was a piece on reality that was shockingly clever. It gave you something that few movies these days can promise: something different.

So you can imagine my eagerness and anticipation for the next installment of the movie in 'The Matrix Reloaded'.

Well, upon seeing it for the first time last night, all I can say is "blah". My disappointment and dissatisfaction know no bounds. Whatever promise this series had has been terminated completely in a mix of over-pretentious dialogue, clunky acting, and a story that leaves you with zero enthusiasm for 'Matrix Revolutions'.

The killing point is the story itself. Rather than sticking to the more promising element of the actual 'Matrix' itself, the movie focuses more around the human habitation of Zion... which ultimately turns the film into a 'Star Trek' science epic as opposed to a play on reality. This wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, if what you wanted in the first place was a 'Star Trek' science epic.

Unfortunately, however, what made 'The Matrix' so engaging to the viewer was the focus on the Matrix itself, as well as the characters' interactions inside and out of it. Moreover, the themes discussed in the movie were much less complicated for the viewer to grasp than in 'Matrix Reloaded'. Almost 80% of the dialogue in 'Reloaded' is complete gibberish.

Added on to this is the complete lack of chemistry between the forever talentless Keanu Reeves and the distinctly older Ms. Moss (Who, for some inexplicable reason, looks ugly in this movie). I'm sorry, but it's impossible to sell people on the significance of a romance between two characters when said romance looks as artificial as Cher does.

(All I can say is thank goodness Keanu's role was reduced to him 'acting' as little as possible.)

In all fairness, the special effects in this movie are pretty impressive... but at times the fighting sequences make the characters look more like they came out of 'Shrek' than an actual Matrix movie. Regardless, the special effects alone cannot possibly save this movie from it's painful mediocrity. ...Which, in the end, is a shame, considering how much potential this series really had.

Gets the clowns_n_cookies thumbs down.

Behold the glory that is 'Kill Bill'...

Give a very unhappy Uma Thurman a samurai sword. Throw in the keys to a bright yellow truck affectionately named the 'Pussy Wagon'. Add about 80+ people for her to rip into, and you have about 1 hour and 50 minutes of Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece.

No matter how much I had over-hyped this movie in my mind, no matter how great I thought it was going to be, nothing... I repeat... NOTHING had prepared me for the end result.

'Kill Bill' had me smiling from start to finish. It had everything I could have possibly asked for in a movie, and then some just for kicks. The pacing was excellent, the soundtrack was amazing, and the fight sequences were absolutely fantastic. Honestly, the stuff you see in here puts all the CGI simulated fight sequences to *shame*.

Uma Thurman's go as The Bride was spectacular. I honestly never knew she had it in her. The whole movie, I had this malicious grin on my face that said "Hell yeah, Uma! Kick some @ss!!!" (And for those who HAVE seen the movie, tell me that Lucy Liu didn't have one of THE best scenes in the entire film?) All I can say is Quentin get's an A+ for the casting call.

As for the rest of it, all I can say is 'pure Tarantino.' There's a reason this guy is as well-loved as he is. Very few people could add such humor and style to a movie where decapitated bodies are pumping blood 60 feet in the air. It may not be for the faint of heart, but it sure is deliciously fun.

I loved 'Reservoir Dogs'. I adored 'Pulp Fiction'. But 'Kill Bill' has officially claimed my heart. You can love or hate Tarantino all you want, but one thing's for sure... he makes some pretty freakin' awesome movies.

And this? This is truly his best.

To quote the 5,6,7,8's... "Woo hoo! Woo hoo hoo!!!"

One thing that you have to love about ol' Quentin Tarantino is the style he can bring to a film... no matter what's going on or what's being said.

As a humble (but by no means obsessed) fan of 'Reservoir Dogs', I was anxious to see how 'Pulp Fiction' would compare to Tarantino's earlier screen success. And for all of the time spent watching it from beginning to end, I was thoroughly loving it. Loving every minute of it.

Tarantino has definitely pulled off another successful hit-and-run with this one.

The all-star cast is amazing, which includes many outstanding performances from sexy, stoned out Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson as one bad@ss-motherf*cker. And as for John Travolta? He should be down on his hands and knees thanking Quentin for jump-starting his career again with this knock-out role. He wouldn't be flying any planes today were he stuck making the 'Look Who's Talking' movies.

Spectacular action sequences, fast-dialogue, witty humor and Bruce Willis taking some trash out with a samurai sword. What more could you ask for?

Get's the clowns_n_cookies thumbs up!

'Waking Ned Devine' is a very pleasant little surprise that I had the good fortune to come across in my local Hollywood Video. A friend recommended it, and I decided to go with it because she's usually trustworthy when it comes to picking good movies.

And lo and behold! I was highly amused and very satisfied with my purchase.

The story roughly centers around two aging Irishmen (Jackie and Michael) who live in a small, quaint town in Ireland consisting of about 52 people. Being avid lottery players, both soon come to find out that someone in town has won the jackpot. They are then determined to find who the lucky winner is.

But when they discover that the winning ticket belongs to Ned Devine (who has died from a heart-attack after discovering he had the winning number), the two men enlist the aid of the townsfolk to claim the prize money.

Rarely will you see comedies focused around folks over 60 these days. And even more rarely will you find comedies that are as genuinely pleasant and inoffensive as this one is. (Unless naked old men on motorcycles are offensive to you... hee hee) The casting is fantastic, and the music is superb.

You'll definitely be left with soft, warm fuzzy feelings at the end.

Recommended to all!

Why?!? Why?!? WHY!?!?!

For the love of all that is sacred and holy, WHY would someone think to cast Sophie Marceau as a romantic love interest to David Spade?!? If patching Ralph Fiennes with Jennifer Lopez in 'Maid in Manhattan' wasn't bad enough, this is truly worse.

I'll leave it at this: Sophie Marceau's agent needs to be shot. For an actress as beautiful and as talented as Sophie Marceau is, her career in the United States should have rocketed after the success and popularity of Braveheart. (I don't think I have met a single person who didn't she wasn't gorgeous in that movie.)

Instead, the supreme excellence of all that is Sophie Marceau has been reduced to a wide slate of garbage films, not the least of which is 'Lost and Found'.

David Spade is one of the single most obnoxious actors in Hollywood, and his sarcasm is neither charming nor endearing. (Without Chris Farley, I have yet to understand why he still has a career.) His 'romance' with Sophie is ridiculous at best, and the only reason you can even make it THROUGH the movie is because this is one of the only U.S. films that Sophie actually stars in. I mean, you get to see her in almost every scene, and she looks gorgeous in every minute of the movie. (Why else would I have braved it the whole way through?)

Thank GOODNESS there is only ONE kissing scene. *Bleh*

Truth be told, I don't think I would have really had anything negative to say about the movie (heck, I doubt I would have even watched it at all) had they cast a leading lady who was a little more down to David Spade's class... (i.e. Denise Richards or some other Hollywood tripe.)

If you're a fan of David Spade, you're bound to love it. If you're a fan of Sophie Marceau's...

*cringe*

I advise you to watch with caution.

LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!

From the fantastic stylings of the ever-amazing Tim Burton, we are given 'Sleepy Hollow', the delightfully horrific spin-off of the classic novel by Washington Irving.

Is it much like the book?

Well, there IS a headless guy riding a horse. And a fellow named Ichabod Crane. And it does take place in a town called Sleepy Hollow. I think the similarity ends there.

Is the movie still worth watching then?

ABSOLUTELY!

Though certainly not for the faint of heart, Burton does a fantastic job of enchanting us and horrifying us at the same time with some stellar performances by Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci, not to mention the fabulous all star cast including the Burton regulars... (i.e. Jeffrey Jones and Micheal Gough.)

The visual aspects of the movie are spectacularly haunting, given Burton's choice of color, lighting, and scenery. And let's not forget the fantastic soundtrack by Danny Elfman. (I consider it to be one of his very best compositions, actually.) The film is, unquestionably, very gory... but Depp carries a very twisted sense of humor with him that keeps things surprisingly funny.

Only Burton could bring wit and hilarity to decapitation. :)

Get's the clowns_n_cookies 10 out of 10 out of 10!!!

Like most young women my age (or of any age for that matter, come to think of it...) I am a great fan of the classic literary works of Jane Austen. I've read the books, I've watched the movies, and I've bought the t-shirts. And though I am very fond of her writing, I can't say that I've always been overly fond of the 'big screen adaptions' of her novels.

(If you've seen 'Northanger Abbey', you'll know what I mean. Bleh.)

Well, let's face it. How many classics have you seen made into movies that REASONABLY did the books justice? The Lord of the Rings? Okay. Anne of Green Gables? Most definitely. But when it comes to filming classic novels, the really good adaptions are, unfortunately, few and far between.

So upon seeing the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice for the first time, all I could say is "Yay!"

Never, in any other adaption of this movie, will you find more charm, humor, or wit than in this made for T.V. miniseries. The casting is simply fantastic. Jennifer Ehle captures Elizabeth Bennett like she was born for the role, while Colin Firth adds the much appreciated sex-appeal as the dashing Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between them is definitely the film's driving force.

The supporting cast, however, is what makes the film completely enjoyable... with each actor standing out in their own scene-stealing performances. Some of the more note-worthy ones are those of Julia Sawalha and Alison Steadman as Elizabeth's highly excited sister and mother. Look for the scenes with Barbara Leigh-Hunt as Lady Catherine De Bourgh, because she really and truly steals the show.

If you fancy yourself a Jane Austen fan and have not seen this movie, I advise you to do so immediately. And for all others who are looking for a refreshing, charming comedy... look no further!

Get's the clowns_n_cookies seal of approval.

I try to avoid posting bad movie reviews on IMDB (since I think there are way too many bitter people here to begin with) but there are some movies that are so disappointing that they deserve my open criticism.

And here it is.

I was a little miffed that I paid the $3.47 it took to rent this from my local Hollywood Video. What with all of the critical acclaim and Oscar nominations thrown at this movie, I was expecting a little better than what I eventually got. To sum it up, 'The Hours' left me with a really bad taste in my mouth. (Hence the "bleh".)

If you want a plot outline, you're taken through the lives of three different women who occasionally like to make-out with other women... whether it be their sisters or their neighbors. Mix it up with a bird funeral and Ed Harris flying out the window and you have 'The Hours'. Nuff said.

The story in of itself is dull and fairly pointless, with nothing really grasping at you except the movie's ridiculous attempts at pulling on your heart-strings. None of the characters are particularly likeable, and the 'sympathy' you're supposed to feel gets lost somewhere in all of the muddled storytelling.

I can understand the Academy's need to give Nicole Kidman an Oscar for being snubbed the previous year for 'Moulin Rouge', but her performance here isn't necessarily her best. Julianne Moore is vapid and pretty forgettable (thank GOODNESS she keeps her clothes on) and Meryl Streep is just, well, over-hyped as usual. (I mean seriously... when DOESN'T Meryl Streep get some sort of an Oscar nomination?) Besides, the last thing anyone in their right minds would want to see is Meryl Streep frenching another woman.

(For better female frenching scenes, please see Mulholland Drive... *wink wink*)

Overall, the movie fails at enlightening or inspiring. Watch it if you must, but I advise you do it with zero expectations. The tiniest one will ruin it for you.

Bleh.

Keaton... thy name is Batman. Accept no other substitutions.

Burton, thy name is director. Accept no other substitutions.

What is arguably the best Batman movie ever is indeed the best Batman movie ever. Take your classic Batman franchise... add a little Jack Nicholson... a little Micheal Keaton... and a little Tim Burton. Voila!

You have BATMAN: one of many similarly titled movies that is actually worth watching. Burton's Gotham is a very dark and visually stunning backdrop to this twisted tale of the Dark Knight. Adding to the rich, multi-layered atmosphere of the movie is Danny Elfman's haunting score... which unfortunately (like all of Danny Elfman's other compositions) is very under-appreciated.

And the cast? Allow me to be repetative... it's the best of the best. I cannot say enough about Micheal Keaton's fantastic portrayal of Mr. Wayne, and as far as JACK goes... his turn as the Joker is freakin' classic.

To quote the devil himself: "Never rub another man's rhubarb!"

It's one of MY top films of all time. It should be one of YOURS too. *menacing look*

A definite 10 out of 10!

Oh dearest me...

What to say? What to say?

All I know is that somewhere, Satan is laughing at all of us. And if I were Satan, I would probably be laughing too.

Make sure you make it through this one... MST3K'd or not.

1.4 out of 10!!!

Out of all of the great, cinematic masterpieces that top my list of all time favorites, there are a select few that possess the power to make me cry EVERY FREAKIN' TIME I watch them. You'd think after a while the affect would where off, but some of those pesky films still manage to turn on the water works.

Behold the glory that is Braveheart.

I watch, I cry. And I'm not ashamed to cry. It's what we girls do. My friend told me when she first saw this movie, she cried so hard she fell off the couch.

And despite the fact that this has often been hailed the 'ultimate guy movie' (seriously... I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't think this movie is wonderful), it has an appeal that can draw anyone and everyone.

And I'm not just talking about Sophie Marceau. ;)

I'm talking about movie-making at it's finest. Cinematography at it's finest. Acting at it's finest. Which, in the end, makes this one of the finest films ever made. Mel Gibson is definately one of my favorite actors, but his turn as a director is even better. He pulls off what could possibly be his best role ever (just for wearing the kilts, alone... hee hee) and can I say enough about Mme. Marceau? Most people don't even know that she did this entire movie phonetically (at the time still a relatively unknown French actress.) Mel get's my personal thanks for the casting call.

And though it isn't perfect, this is truly one of the best movies out there. It inspires you, humors you, touches you and sticks with you long after the credits have stopped rolling. Few movies can do this these days, so take it while you can... because there's a million 'American Pie' movies for every 'Braveheart'.

A definate 10 out of 10.

Honestly... what on earth could I say about Star Wars that has not already been said? What could anyone say?

If you look past all the hype, the thousands upon thousands of weirdos who tape themselves swinging lightsabers on camcorders and the limitless merchandising, you'll find a movie that is, in one word: legendary.

Star Wars. *cue theme by John Williams*

There are few films that have made more of an impact in the film industry, let alone our culture. The special-effects that George Lucas introduced were revolutionary for their time, and helped to pave the way for the amazing technological advances we have today. Props to George.

And as far as the movie itself? *sighs* It's so easy to fall in love with this movie. Ever since I was a kid, this movie had my heart. Everything from the characters to the places you visit to the story. It drags you in to that galaxy far, far, away... and to this day it remains both a visionary and cinematic masterpiece.

(Plus it features a young Harrison Ford... hee hee)

Forget 10 out of 10. Star Wars is, and will always be, off the charts. LOVE IT. *wink and grin*

Movies this day and age are often hard pressed to be creative and original, seeing as (for the most part) everyone has dragged through the same stories and concepts before. Same plot. Different characters. Varied acting abilities. A new twist maybe, but essentially the same thing.

That's why this delightful little thriller is so fantastic.

Just when you thought classic movie-making was over, M. Night Shyamalan comes in and proves all of us wrong. Movies still *can* be original. Movies *can* draw a crowd without writers throwing in graphic sex scenes, pointless nudity, gut-wrenching gore and everything else that draws a crowd these days.

Here we're given something far better: Feeling.

Every emotion in you is squeezed out to the surface. One minute you're freaked out like nobody's business, the next you're laughing hysterically. One minute you're letting out a terrified squeak, the next you're letting out a heartfelt sob. It's a brilliant experience, to say the least.

I've always thought that the really good movies were the ones that brought out every little feeling you were capable of feeling. This movie is one of a select few that pulls it off to such a successful degree. The acting is fabulous (Toni Collette steals the show, hands down...) the story remains fresh and intriguing the whole way through, and believe you me... the ending did indeed throw me for a loop.

M. Night Shyamalan is definitely one of my favorite directors, and this is truly his masterpiece.

Get's the clowns_n_cookies seal of approval!

Thanks to the good, good people of Mystery Science Theater 3000, I have been subjected to a wide variety of tremendously bad movies. Some are worse than others, and some are so horrible that writing commentary on them is almost pointless. (Almost as pointless as why anyone would make the movie in the first place, i.e. 'Santa Conquers the Martians')

But this delightful little film is definitely worth the commentary. Definitely.

The story begins as we're cruising around in a hot, brown maverick with Jodie Thompson: the ill-fated loser/hero of our movie. He winds up at a walnut ranch on his road trip where he meets the frumpy Melissa Strickland, a gal with more than a couple of demons in her closet. Melissa talks Jodie into hangin' around for a couple of days, just enough time to get a first taste of what family life is like at the Strickland residence. Grandma mutilates a few people, Jodie and Melissa do it near her "Dad's" pond, and a couple of souls are sold to Satan. Fin.

The plot itself isn't horrible... but everything else about the movie is. Horrid looking actors, horrid directing and film editing, and let's not forget the horrid dialogue. ("This is where the fish lives" will forever remain one of the funniest, stupidest comments ever said in a film.) In other words, this is a horror film- as in horrific every which way you slice it.

But the film isn't all that unbearable to watch, especially when you have a couple of sarcastic robots at hand. The less seriously you take the movie, the more fun you'll have. And the more fun you have, the easier it will be to make it through the entire movie.

Get's a 2.4 out of 10!

A much as I fancy myself to be a proud lover all of the classic, popcorn munching, money-making box office blowouts (i.e. The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, etc etc.) I must admit that I loved this movie. Heck, I'd place it right up there with my hobbits and Harrison Fords.

It's a different movie, that's for sure, but in this case it's multi-layered storyline is what makes it so appealing. It creates so many different thoughts and emotions that by the end of the movie, you're never quite sure what to think or how to feel. And every time you see it, your thoughts and feelings change. I LOVE that.

It's all open to interpretation, and you can make of it what you'd like.

Naomi Watts does an excellent job with the role (or 'roles' I guess you should say...) and she has GREAT chemistry with Laura Harring. The supporting cast is excellent, as is the layout of each scene. There are some really and truly terrifying/disturbing images in this film that will stick with you far longer than you might wish them too.

Worth watching once... but infinately better each and every time after.

Much as I love 'Dune', 'Mullholand Drive' puts in some rough competition for David Lynch's best.

Get's the clowns_n_cookies seal of approval.