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Agony of Love (1966)
3/10
A psychedelic smut trip to the 60s
23 May 2021
This whole movie is like a psychedelic experience and the story has surprising depth for a cheap roughie. Pat Barrington plays as a woman moonlighting as a prostitute and delves into the mental torment she goes through. The scenes with the men are done in a surreal dreamlike way expressing her mental state and it's a neat idea. Pat elevates the whole thing and is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful women of the period.

The beginning of the movie is especially great with a strong setup and a nice glimpse at 1966 Los Angeles with some fun camera work and music. Once the theme is established, it unfortunately goes downhill. We get a lot of lingering pointless shots at objects, faces, and excessive repetition. But considering how terrible these 60's low budget sexploitation films typically are, this still manages to be one of the better ones.
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6/10
Above averge 70's women in prison flick
23 May 2021
I'm surprised this isn't more well known among exploitation fan circles. As far as women in prison movies go, this one is pretty amusing and works better than most of its ilk. Sure, it's not without flaws with some lame action scenes and a surprising lack of sleaze for the genre but the directing and acting do well with the zany script.

The lead women, which are a white, black, and Asian respectively, skip on the nudity but deliver some amusing dialogue and acting which the movie would have been pretty dull without. Performances are over the top lending to a cartoony vibe with John Ashley and Sid Haig being standouts. No ground is being broken here, but after watching countless exploitation movies, this one provides a fun lighthearted atmosphere missing from most.
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2/10
Incredibly tedious but with a fantastic dance number
23 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Most of this movie is dull, repetitive, and a chore to get through. The dialogue is horrible and the dubbing doesn't make things better. The effects are incredibly cheap with vampire teeth looking like plastic teeth from a party story. Granted, it delivers on the playgirls, who are attractive, and features some early 60's nudity.

That said, as much as much as I disliked it, the movie does show some amazing potential with the dance scene. After one of the playgirls is murdered, the rest of the grieving playgirls cope by practicing their dance routine. This leads to actress Erika Dicenta putting on a seductive dance stripping down to her underwear, which another reviewer referenced, is like a 60's version of Salma Hayek's scene in From Dusk Till Dawn. It's a great scene and considering that the death is used the reason for her stripping is hilarious and made even better since she's actually wearing black. It's a classic B-movie moment and I wish they would have applied this level of fun to the rest of the movie.
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Mortal Kombat (2021)
3/10
Stick to the cheesy 1995 version
23 April 2021
I liked the 1995 Mortal Kombat film as a kid and it had me humming the theme song and acting out the action scenes in my room. It was a cheesy, not too great movie, but fun and unpretentious. I wish I could say the same for this 2021 version.

There's some good stuff here like cool character designs and some occasionally great action but aside from that everything is very subpar. Scorpion and Sub-Zero deliver the action but the rest of the fight scenes are extremely bland and not nearly as gory as hyped. Combine that with an overabundance of CGI and surprisingly bad cinematography and you've got a movie where I felt only about 10 minutes of it was worth watching.

The script is really what drags it down. Instead of just focusing on characters from the Mortal Kombat roster, we have Cole Young (Mr. Everyman) to lead us on this adventure. It's a bad decision to begin with but the character is completely uninteresting and the movie's bad acting and dialogue make it all even worse. The references to the game were well done at least.
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Snapdragon (1993)
4/10
Erotic but poorly directed
23 April 2021
This movie tries hard to ride on the coattails of Basic Instinct, and it almost succeeds, but the incompetent direction keeps it from a fun level of B-movie goodness. For an erotic thriller, it actually gets the erotic part right but lacks the rest.

The young Pamela Anderson looks great and her scenes are worth it but everything else is very dull. The plot is dumb, the dialogue is bad, and it might have all been amusing if the acting wasn't so dry. It's filmed like a typical boring made-for-TV production from the era but at least the sex scenes are good.

Even with the subpar story, this could have been a fun and silly b-movie romp if there was more effort on display. As it stands, there's just not enough it does right.
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Tom and Jerry (II) (2021)
1/10
Drifts too far from the Hanna-Barbera cartoons
9 March 2021
Combining live action and animation tends to be tricky and to this day nothing has reached the highs of Roger Rabbit. Tom and Jerry is no exception and is exceptionally misguided.

The only positive here is that at least they didn't use a CGI animation style. The animation aims for the 2D style of the original but its slickness still looks too plain and lacks any depth. Combining this with live action and the lame romcom story that comes with it just makes me wonder why they went this route instead of just a full on animated movie.

Tom and Jerry are really just side characters to the humans. The typical cartoon chase antics from the Hanna-Barbera cartoons are there but the biggest problem is all the extra nonsense thrown in. The story around the wedding is of the lowest common denominator, has some terrible acting, and is unfortunately the focus of the movie.

And worst of all, the movie keeps blasting rap music, which is so far from the spirit of the cartoons that it's insulting.
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Barb Wire (1996)
10/10
Comic book cheese brought to life
2 March 2021
The comic book genre of overtly sexy female heroes probably hit its peak in the 90s so it's fitting that this movie was released at that time. For that focus, this movie is really the best of its kind.

Watching this during the rampant political correctness of 2021 makes me wonder if we'll ever see a movie like this again, which is really a shame considering how much fun it is. If you enjoy watching a super hot chick kick ass while showing off her assets in skimpy leather outfits, this is the movie for you.

Pamela Anderson's acting is perfect for this type of role and it doesn't hurt that at her peak she was one of the hottest women that's ever lived. The rest of the cast plays into the cheesy 90s action aesthetic perfectly although the movie is at it's weakest when Pam isn't on screen, which thankfully isn't much.

The story and dialogue read like an issue of a comic you would have picked up because of the sexy seductress on the cover but actually better if you know how bad those often are. The cheesy dialogue and amusing quips against the dark post apocalyptic setting show that the filmmakers clearly have their tongues firmly in cheek and are having fun with it. It's well shot with nice action scenes and no CGI to be found.

As much as I love Casablanca, this low brow B-movie is also one of my favorites in it's own right. Your milage will vary based on how much you like comic book camp and Pammy.
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