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9/10
Boy Kills World: A Bloody Good Time (With Jokes)
24 May 2024
Strap yourselves in, genre enthusiasts, because "Boy Kills World" isn't just an action movie; it's a genre-bending, blood-splattered, laugh-out-loud rollercoaster. Imagine the dystopian world-building of "The Hunger Games" colliding with the hyper-violence of "Kill Bill," the gun-fu mastery of "John Wick," and the addictive leveling system of a video game, all sprinkled with the sardonic wit of an adult animation. Buckle up, because "Boy Kills World" is one wild ride that never lets you get off.

The film throws us into a future reminiscent of Panem, where a society obsessed with violence thrives on a constant stream of gladiatorial combat. Enter Boy (Bill Skarsgård), a mute assassin honed to a razor's edge by his adoptive father, the enigmatic Drill (Udo Kier). Driven by a singular purpose - to avenge his father's death - Boy embarks on a bloody quest through a world saturated with neon lights, outlandish costumes, and enough weaponry to arm a small army.

The action sequences are the film's crown jewels. Think "Kill Bill's" balletic brutality cranked up to eleven. Skarsgård, a revelation in the role, utilizes his physical prowess to deliver fight choreography that's both brutal and balletic. He dispatches foes with a dazzling array of blades, guns, and even a strategically placed cheese grater (yes, you read that right). The sound design is particularly impressive, with every whack, slice, and gunshot adding a layer of visceral impact to the action.

But here's the twist: amidst the geysers of blood and severed limbs, "Boy Kills World" injects a surprising dose of humor. The film's secret weapon is the deadpan voiceover narration by none other than H. Jon Benjamin (of Archer fame). His sardonic delivery of Boy's inner monologue, filled with pop-culture references and witty observations, perfectly complements the film's outlandishness. One minute you're wincing at a particularly gruesome kill, the next you're snorting with laughter at Boy's internal monologue about the merits of a good bowl of Frosty Puffs cereal (a clear dig at the dystopian Panem's reliance on manufactured sustenance).

The narrative borrows generously from the video game playbook. Boy's journey feels like a series of increasingly difficult levels, each requiring him to utilize new skills and weapons to overcome increasingly formidable opponents. There's a sense of progression and accomplishment as Boy hones his craft, adding to the film's addictive quality.

However, "Boy Kills World" isn't all blood and laughs. Beneath the surface lies a surprisingly touching father-son dynamic between Boy and Drill. Their bond, forged in violence, hints at a genuine love and respect. There's also a sly social commentary woven into the film's outlandish world. The constant barrage of media manipulation and the hero worship of violence paints a dark picture of a society obsessed with spectacle at any cost.

The film isn't without flaws. The plot, while serviceable, is fairly straightforward. Some of the supporting characters, like the villainous Derricks (played with scenery-chewing gusto by Sam Rockwell and Marianne Jean-Baptiste), are delightfully over-the-top but lack depth. The overreliance on voiceover narration can occasionally feel expositional.

However, these minor quibbles fade away in the face of the film's sheer entertainment value. "Boy Kills World" is a glorious assault on the senses, a love letter to action cinema, and a surprisingly funny commentary on our media-saturated world. Skarsgård shines in a demanding role, the action sequences are a visceral thrill ride, and Benjamin's narration elevates the film with its sardonic wit. If you're looking for a film that's equal parts heart-pounding action and laugh-out-loud funny, "Boy Kills World" is your cinematic soulmate. Just remember, bring your popcorn and maybe a strong stomach; this world may be wacky, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart.
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6/10
Sasquatch Sunset: Bigfoot Laughs Cut Short
17 May 2024
Sasquatch Sunset starts off as a laugh riot. For the first hour, the Zellner brothers deliver a surprisingly hilarious portrayal of a Sasquatch family navigating the trials and tribulations of...well, Sasquatch life. From their hilariously primal attempts at courtship to their unrefined digestive habits, the film finds humor in the unexpected, and anyone with a decent sense of humor will find themselves snorting with laughter.

Then, the sun inexplicably sets on the comedy. The light-hearted mood takes a sharp turn in the second half, venturing into surprisingly serious territory. Themes of life, death, and the struggle for survival come crashing in, leaving the audience with a gut punch where there were once guffaws. Here's the problem: the tonal shift feels unearned. Sasquatch Sunset spends so much time establishing itself as an absurdist comedy that the sudden seriousness feels jarring, like two entirely different movies stitched together.

It's a shame. The first hour is pure comedic gold, and the Zellner brothers deserve credit for their audacious premise. But the jarring shift into somber territory leaves the viewer feeling cheated. It's like being promised a cupcake and then getting served a bowl of lukewarm broccoli instead. If you're looking for a laugh-out-loud comedy, you'll have a blast with the first half of Sasquatch Sunset. Just be prepared for the unexpected emotional downpour in the final act.
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Imaginary (2024)
1/10
Imaginary (2024): A Blumhouse Blunder
9 April 2024
As a horror fanatic for 45 years who religiously consumes 2-3 horror films a week, I can confidently say Imaginary (2024) is a contender for the worst horror film of 2023/24. Buckle up, because this Blumhouse offering is a nightmare on multiple levels.

Firstly, the casting choices feel less like inspired picks and more like a checklist of forced inclusion. The actors themselves deliver performances that range from forgettable to downright wooden. It's clear they're struggling with a script that's as flimsy as a Halloween cobweb.

Speaking of the script, it's the real monster here. The premise of a creepy imaginary friend taking a dark turn had potential, but the execution is laughably bad. The film throws logic out the window with nonsensical plot points and relies on tired horror tropes that haven't scared anyone since the 80s.

Here's a tip for spotting overhyped horror films: check the IMDb ratings by date released. A flood of 7-10 ratings in the first month often indicates the production company inflating the score. Then, watch the ratings plummet as real viewers experience the film. Imaginary is a textbook case - a short-lived sugar rush of fake praise followed by the bitter aftertaste of disappointment.

If you're looking for a genuinely scary movie, avoid Imaginary like a haunted house with a "Beware of Dog" sign. This is a Blumhouse misstep that will leave you feeling cheated and, more importantly, bored.
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Stopmotion (2023)
7/10
insanely psychological and dark
19 March 2024
Stopmotion (2024) isn't your average animated flick. It's a plunge into a psychological abyss, masterfully crafted with stop-motion animation that elevates the film's unsettling atmosphere. For fans of the meticulously crafted and darkly atmospheric horror films churned out by A24, Stopmotion delivers in spades.

The film is smart. It weaves a narrative that begs to be unpacked, leaving room for interpretation and lingering questions. Be prepared to analyze what you see, as the story unfolds with layers that hint at deeper meanings. This isn't a horror film that relies solely on jump scares; it seeps under your skin with its disturbing imagery and psychological exploration.

But the brilliance doesn't stop at the script. The casting is superb. The actors breathe life (or perhaps unlife) into their characters, making them all the more believable within the stop-motion world. And let's not forget the gore. Stopmotion doesn't shy away from depicting the macabre, but it does so with a chilling artistry that stays true to the film's overall tone.

If you're looking for a horror film that's intelligent, disturbing, and beautifully crafted, Stopmotion (2024) is a must-watch. Just be prepared to have your mind bent and your stomach churned. Highly recommended.

While I won't say this film is a 10, I would also caution against putting to much credibility into reviews that give only 10s and 1s. I think this film could have been better but I am confortable with giving it a 7 or 6.5. It is a good watch and worthy of being watched. To that end, make up your own mind of whether you like it or not. But honest reviews won't give this a perfect 10 or a perfect 1.
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After.Life (2009)
6/10
Good watch
22 February 2024
"After. Life" (2009) is a film that, while not extraordinary, manages to leave an indelible mark on its viewers. The movie may not be a cinematic masterpiece, but it certainly has its merits.

The film's central theme revolves around the importance of living life to the fullest before it runs out, a message that resonates deeply. It encourages viewers to seize the day and appreciate the beauty of existence. This poignant message is subtly woven into the narrative, making it a thought-provoking experience.

The performances are commendable, with the cast delivering a believable portrayal of their respective characters. The cinematography and direction are decent, contributing to the overall eerie atmosphere of the film.

In conclusion, "After. Life" (2009) is a film that, despite its shortcomings, manages to convey a powerful message about life and mortality. It serves as a reminder to cherish every moment, for life is fleeting. While it may not be a standout in the realm of cinema, it is a film that prompts introspection and discussion, making it worth a watch. Especially for the Christina Ricci eye candy as well.
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1/10
Terrible
14 January 2024
Sunset on a Soggy Script: My Review of "The Retirement Plan" Nicolas Cage deserves better than The Retirement Plan. This action-comedy, which landed with a dull thud in 2023, throws together a tired plot, wooden acting, and enough clichés to fill a bingo card - all under the tepid sun.

The story revolves around Frank (Cage), a grumpy ex-government assassin lured back into the game by a flash drive containing incriminating secrets. Cue the chase, the double-crosses, and the obligatory team-up with a sassy young tech wiz (Ashley Greene). Unfortunately, every twist is telegraphed from a mile away, and the action sequences lack the spark and originality Cage has brought to past roles. It's as if the entire film is stuck on shuffle, playing the same worn-out tropes of the genre without adding any flavor.

Cage, bless his hammy heart, tries his best. He throws in his signature manic energy, but even he can't salvage the lines he's given. The dialogue is a cringe-fest, littered with cheesy one-liners and forced banter. The rest of the cast fares no better, delivering performances about as lively as a beach towel left out in the sun for too long. Jackie Earle Haley tries to inject some menace as a villain, but he comes across more like a grumpy uncle complaining about the price of shrimp at the local diner.

The Retirement Plan isn't even visually interesting. The Cayman Islands setting, which should be a visual feast, is reduced to a bland backdrop for predictable shootouts and awkward conversations. The editing is choppy, the pacing sluggish, and the whole thing feels like a cheap knock-off of better action comedies.

In the end, The Retirement Plan is a missed opportunity. It squanders a potentially fun premise and wastes the talents of a charismatic actor like Cage. If you're looking for a summer escape, save yourself the sunburn and skip this forgettable film. Unless, of course, you're a die-hard Cage completist. Even then, prepare for a viewing experience that might leave you longing for the simpler days of Con Air.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 flash drives (because even the MacGuffin was boring)
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1/10
Plant based propaganda
10 January 2024
You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment - A Plate of Bias, Short on Science "You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment" promises a fascinating glimpse into the world of diet and its impact on our bodies. Unfortunately, instead of delivering a balanced scientific exploration, it serves up a heaping helping of plant-based propaganda, seasoned with questionable evidence and garnished with questionable experts.

The show hinges on a six to eight-week experiment where identical twins adopt opposing diets - vegan and omnivore. This timeframe simply isn't enough to draw any meaningful conclusions about long-term health impacts. It's like judging a marathon by who jogs furthest in the first five minutes.

Furthermore, the "experts" guiding the twins are, in large part, YouTube personalities with well-documented pro-vegan and anti-meat biases. Their pronouncements ring with the tone of influencers hawking a lifestyle choice, not medical professionals delivering unbiased research. It's hardly surprising that the conclusions lean heavily toward the vegan side.

Speaking of evidence, the show's presentation is light on actual data and heavy on anecdotal observations. We see before-and-after blood tests and scans, but the interpretation is often subjective and the context of individual health histories neglected. It's hard to draw any generalizable lessons from a handful of cherry-picked cases.

The overwhelming bias seeps into every corner of the show. The vegan diet is constantly painted as the utopian solution, while the omnivore option is riddled with negative connotations. The narrative nudges viewers towards a predetermined conclusion, leaving little room for critical thinking.

Ultimately, "You Are What You Eat" fails to live up to its scientific pretense. It's a poorly disguised infomercial for veganism, dressed up in the lab coat of a documentary. If you're looking for rigorous research and impartial evidence, look elsewhere. This show is pure propaganda, best consumed with a heavy dose of skepticism.

In summary:

Short experiment: Insufficient time to draw meaningful conclusions.

Biased experts: YouTube personalities with vested interests.

Lack of evidence: Relies on anecdotes and questionable data.

Overwhelming bias: Pushes a vegan agenda without nuance.

If you're seeking a balanced exploration of diet and its impact, "You Are What You Eat" is best left on the shelf, unopened.
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All Souls (2023)
5/10
A Formulaic Choppy Mess
11 December 2023
All Souls, the latest crime thriller from director Emmanuelle Pickett, had the potential to be a captivating exploration of the morally gray world of undercover informants and drug cartels. Unfortunately, it falls flat with its predictable plot, underdeveloped characters, and lackluster execution.

Clichéd and predictable: The film follows a tired formula, relying heavily on well-worn tropes and recycled plot points. All Souls does little to differentiate itself. The predictable twists and turns fail to surprise or engage the audience, leaving them feeling uninspired and bored.

Unconvincing characters: The characters in All Souls are shallow and underdeveloped. We never truly connect with them on an emotional level, making it difficult to care about their fates. The dialogue is often stilted and unnatural, further highlighting the lack of depth and authenticity in the characters.

Lackluster execution: The film's pacing is uneven, with stretches of slow exposition followed by abrupt bursts of action. The editing is choppy and jarring, disrupting the flow of the film and making it feel disjointed. Following the characters when the action breaks out becomes difficult because of the editing.

The cinematography is uninspired, failing to capture the gritty atmosphere the film aims for.

Overall, All Souls is a disappointing and forgettable addition to the crime thriller genre. It offers nothing new or original, and its flaws outweigh any positives. If you're looking for a captivating and suspenseful film, look elsewhere.

If I had to say something positive, I feel that the actress, Mikey Madison, gave a good performance. But none of the other characters could match her acting skills. The little girl is adorable and I am sure she will have many future roles.

Here are some of the specific issues I found with the film:

The plot is predictable and unoriginal.

The characters are shallow and underdeveloped.

The dialogue is stilted and unnatural.

The pacing is uneven and the editing is choppy.

The cinematography is uninspired.

Its watchable, but not memerable.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.
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3/10
The Royal Hotel (2023): A Slow Burn That Never Ignites
26 October 2023
Kitty Green's drama, The Royal Hotel is a slow burn that never ignites. The film follows two young Canadian backpackers, Liv (Jessica Henwick) and Becky (Julia Garner), who take on bartending jobs at a remote pub in the Australian Outback. The pub is owned by the enigmatic Bill (Hugo Weaving), and the clientele is made up of a rough-and-tumble bunch of miners.

As the film progresses, Liv and Becky find themselves increasingly isolated and vulnerable. The men at the pub are increasingly aggressive and predatory, and the women are forced to constantly navigate their way through dangerous and uncomfortable situations.

The Royal Hotel is a well-acted film, with particularly strong performances from Henwick and Garner. However, the film's slow pace and lack of suspense eventually become its undoing. The film is more interested in creating a sense of atmosphere and dread than in telling a compelling story. Unfortunately, it never quite succeeds in either.

One of the biggest problems with The Royal Hotel is that it never really gives the audience a reason to care about the two main characters. Liv and Becky are thinly drawn characters, and their motivations are never fully explored. As a result, it's difficult to feel any real tension or suspense when they are in danger.

Another problem with the film is its pacing. The Royal Hotel is a very slow-moving film, and it often feels like nothing is happening. There are long stretches of the film where the only thing happening is Liv and Becky serving drinks to the miners. This makes the film feel very tedious and boring at times.

Finally, The Royal Hotel's climax is both unsatisfying and confusing. The film builds up to a major confrontation between Liv, Becky, and the miners, but the climax is ultimately resolved in a very anti-climactic way. The film ends with a number of unanswered questions, and the audience is left feeling confused and frustrated.

Overall, The Royal Hotel is a disappointing film. It's a well-acted film with a great atmosphere, but it's also a slow-moving and unsatisfying film. But I wouldn't call this film a thriller as it offers no thrills or much suspense for the audience. The film literally made me yawn a few times during its runtime.
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Deliver Us (2023)
4/10
Could have been better
4 October 2023
Deliver Us (2023) is a religious horror film with stunning cinematography and gore, but a disappointing script. It could have been a better film if the screenplay was better.

The film follows a Russian nun who claims to have immaculately conceived twins. The Vatican sends a team of priests to investigate, but they are joined by affiliates of a secret society with orders to abort both children. An American Jesuit discovers their plan and helps her escape.

The cinematography in Deliver Us is truly beautiful. The directors use light and shadow to create a sense of atmosphere and suspense. The film also features some gruesome gore for the gore hound horror fans.

However, the script for Deliver Us is disappointing. The plot is convoluted and the characters are underdeveloped. The film also suffers from some tonal inconsistencies, switching between horror, comedy, and drama without much success.

Overall, Deliver Us is a mixed bag. It is worth a watch if you are a fan of religious horror, gore, and art house films. However, it is not a keeper for me. The script is too disappointing to make up for the film's strengths.

If the screenplay was better, Deliver Us could have been a truly great horror film. It has all the elements in place: a unique and interesting premise, stunning cinematography, and some truly gruesome gore. However, the script falls short, and the film ultimately fails to live up to its potential.
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6/10
Home Invasion meets Alien Invasion.
24 September 2023
No One Will Save You (2023) is a home invasion meets alien invasion film that is a fun and suspenseful ride, especially as the heroine racks up alien kills.

The film follows Brynn Adams (Kaitlyn Dever), a young woman who lives alone in her childhood home after her parents' death. One night, she is awakened by strange noises and discovers that her home has been invaded by aliens. Brynn must use all of her intelligence and resourcefulness to survive the night and fight off the aliens.

Dever is excellent in the lead role, bringing both strength and vulnerability to Brynn. She is believable as both a victim and a fighter, and her performance is one of the highlights of the film.

The aliens in the film are unique and well-designed. They are not the typical green men from Mars, but rather a variety of strange and grotesque creatures. This makes them all the more unsettling and terrifying.

The film's plot is fairly straightforward, but it is executed well. There is plenty of suspense and excitement, and the film does a good job of building tension. The film also has a few twists and turns that keep things interesting.

Overall, No One Will Save You is a solid and enjoyable film. It is not particularly original or groundbreaking, but it is well-made and entertaining. Fans of home invasion and alien invasion films will definitely want to check it out.

Specifically, the film is most enjoyable as the heroine racks up alien kills. Brynn is not a passive victim, and she fights back against the aliens with everything she has. She uses her knowledge of her home and her ingenuity to trap and kill the aliens one by one. This is what makes the film so much fun to watch. It is satisfying to see Brynn turn the tables on the aliens and take control of the situation.

If you are looking for a fun and suspenseful film with a strong female lead that isn't a mary sue, then No One Will Save You is worth a watch.
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Robots (I) (2023)
3/10
dull humorless romcom
21 September 2023
Robots (2023) Review: One of the Worst Romcoms I've Seen This Year

Robots (2023) is a sci-fi romcom starring Shailene Woodley and Jack Whitehall as Charles and Elaine, a womanizer and a gold digger who are forced to team up to pursue robot doubles of themselves. The film is directed by Casper Christensen and Anthony Hines, and was released in May 2023.

I've seen a lot of bad romcoms in my time, but Robots (2023) is one of the worst. The plot is nonsensical, the characters are unlikable, and the jokes are flat.

The film's premise is that a company called RoboCorp has developed robot doubles of humans that can be used for any purpose, including companionship, sex, and even assassination. Charles and Elaine are two people who have decided to purchase robot doubles of themselves, but when their robots malfunction and escape, they are forced to team up to track them down.

The problem with this plot is that it's never really explained why Charles and Elaine would want to purchase robot doubles of themselves in the first place. Charles is a womanizer who doesn't seem to be interested in any kind of meaningful relationship, and Elaine is a gold digger who is only interested in money. So why would they want to spend money on robots that can do everything they can already do, but better?

The characters in Robots (2023) are also incredibly unlikable. Neither character is particularly funny or charming, and it's hard to root for them to get together in the end.

The film's jokes are also incredibly flat. Most of the humor comes from the fact that the robot doubles of Charles and Elaine are malfunctioning, and they often do and say things that are inappropriate or embarrassing. However, these jokes are rarely funny, and they often fall flat.

Overall, Robots (2023) is a terrible romcom. The plot is nonsensical, the characters are unlikable, and the jokes are flat. If you're looking for a good romcom to watch, I would avoid this one at all costs.

I normally like films with Shailene Woodley and in all honestly, watched the entire film just because she was in it. But this will be the movie she will never want to be interviewed for.
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Jules (I) (2023)
6/10
fun and quirky
16 September 2023
Jules is a 2023 quirky comedy-drama film directed by Marc Turtletaub and written by Gavin Steckler. The film stars Ben Kingsley as Milton, an elderly man who lives a quiet life in a small town. One day, a UFO crashes in Milton's backyard, and he discovers an alien inside. Milton names the alien Jules, and they quickly become friends.

Milton's neighbors, Sandy (Elliott Gould) and Joyce (Ann Dowd), find out about Jules and agree to help Milton keep him a secret. However, the government soon learns about Jules and sends agents to capture him. Milton, Sandy, and Joyce must work together to protect Jules and help him return home.

Jules is a heartwarming and humorous film about friendship, aging, and the importance of finding purpose in life. Ben Kingsley gives a wonderful performance as Milton, a man who is initially hesitant to form a relationship with Jules but eventually comes to see him as a son. Elliott Gould and Ann Dowd are also excellent as Sandy and Joyce, two neighbors who become Milton's confidants and allies.

The film's special effects are well-done, and Jules is a surprisingly believable alien character. However, the film's real strength is its characters and their relationships. Jules is a story about the power of friendship and the importance of treating others with kindness and compassion.

Overall, Jules is a charming and heartwarming film that is sure to please audiences of all ages.
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Tin & Tina (2023)
2/10
Unrealized potential
15 September 2023
Tin & Tina (2023) is a disappointing film that had the potential to be a truly chilling horror experience. The two titular characters are creepy and unsettling, and the film's atmosphere is effectively eerie. However, the film is ultimately undone by its overwrought plot, excessive runtime, and lack of scares.

The film's premise is simple: a couple adopts two seemingly innocent children, but it soon becomes clear that the children are not what they seem. Tin and Tina are deeply religious fanatics, and their beliefs lead them to commit increasingly disturbing acts.

The film's biggest problem is its plot. The story is full of twists and turns, but many of them feel forced and unnecessary. Many of the children's acts are implied but not actually scene on camera such as the disembodiment of the family pet in the living room which is blocked by the couch. The film also drags on for far too long, and it could easily have been trimmed by 30 minutes.

Another problem is the film's lack of scares. There are a few jump scares here and there, but the film never truly builds suspense or tension. As a result, the film is more unsettling than scary.

Despite its flaws, Tin & Tina is not a complete disaster. The film's atmosphere is effective, and the performances of the two child actors are good. However, the film's overwrought plot and excessive runtime make it a difficult watch. Like running through sand, it just pulls so much energy with little reward in return.

Rating: 2.0 out of 10 stars IMHO.
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9/10
Worth the price of admission
14 September 2023
The Equalizer 3 (2023) is a thrilling and satisfying conclusion to the popular action trilogy, starring Denzel Washington as Robert McCall, a retired government operative who now uses his skills to help those who cannot help themselves.

In this installment, McCall finds himself drawn into a conflict with the Sicilian Mafia, after his best friend is killed in a seemingly random attack. McCall travels to Sicily to investigate, and soon finds himself caught up in a web of deceit and violence.

Washington is once again superb as McCall, bringing a quiet intensity and gravitas to the role. He is equally convincing in both the action scenes and the more dramatic moments. The supporting cast is also excellent, with Dakota Fanning, Remo Girone, and Eugenio Mastrandrea all delivering memorable performances.

Director Antoine Fuqua crafts a visually stunning film, with sweeping shots of the Sicilian countryside and picturesque villages. The action sequences are brutal and unflinching, but they are also well-choreographed and exciting to watch.

The Equalizer 3 is a must-see for fans of the franchise, and it is also a great film for fans of action movies in general. It is a well-made and entertaining film with a strong performance from Denzel Washington.

Here are some of the things that I particularly loved about the film:

The Sicilian setting is beautiful and atmospheric, and it provides a fresh backdrop for the action.

The supporting cast is excellent, and they all have good chemistry with Washington.

The action sequences are brutal and intense, but they are also well-choreographed and exciting to watch.

Washington gives a masterful performance as McCall, bringing a quiet intensity and gravitas to the role.

The film has a satisfying conclusion that wraps up the trilogy nicely.

Overall, The Equalizer 3 is a thrilling and satisfying action film that is sure to please fans of the franchise and fans of the genre in general. I highly recommend it. So many films I have seen this year that I felt wasn't worth the cost of a movie ticket, but I didn't have that feeling with this one. I really enjoyed it and in my opinion, its the best of the Denzel trilogy.
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Barbie (I) (2023)
5/10
Barbie
13 September 2023
The 2023 movie "Barbie" is a surprisingly subversive and thought-provoking film that takes a sharp look at gender roles and expectations. Directed by Greta Gerwig and starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, the film has good visual with a sharp script and great performances.

The film follows Barbie (Robbie) as she is exiled from Barbieland for not being perfect enough. She ends up in the real world, where she meets Ken (Gosling) and learns about the challenges of being a woman in a patriarchal society.

The film is full of humor and heart, but it also tackles some serious issues, such as sexism, body image, and the pressure to conform. Gerwig does a good job of balancing these elements, creating a film that is both entertaining and thought-provoking.

The performances in the film are all excellent. Robbie is particularly good as Barbie, bringing both humor and vulnerability to the role. Gosling is also great as Ken, and the two have great chemistry together.

The film's visuals are also stunning. The sets are nicely designed, and the costumes are good. It's clear that a lot of care went into its production.

Kids seem to love it and it's really a film for them even if I wouldn't watch it a second time personally.
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Talk to Me (I) (2022)
6/10
Watchable, not extraordinary.
12 September 2023
Talk to Me is a 2022 Australian horror film directed by Danny and Michael Philippou. The film follows a group of friends who discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed hand. They become hooked on the new thrill, until one of them goes too far and unleashes terrifying supernatural forces.

The film has been praised for its creepy atmosphere and effective jump scares. However, some critics have found the film to be derivative and overhyped. If you replace the embalmed hand with a Ouija and a seance, then you pretty much have a film that has been done before. The embalmed hand just replaces the ouija and seance.

I found Talk to Me to be a watchable but not in the same level as A24's Hereditary. They aren't even the same type of horror film so I don't understand the comparison made between both films other than they were both produced by A24.

The film has some good ideas, but they are not fully developed. The characters are underdeveloped and the plot is predictable. I would have liked if they developed the spirits of the great beyond better than they did.

Overall, I wasn't impressed with it because of how overhyped it became. I walked in with higher expectations because of the hype and it failed to deliver. Its watchable, but maybe just once. Hereditary can be watched multiple times and analyzed because the film was significantly better developed. But I can't see both films being compared because this is more of a teen horror film.

Here are some of the things I liked about the film:

The creepy atmosphere. The film does a good job of creating a sense of dread and unease. The effective jump scares. The film has a few well-placed jump scares that will make you jump out of your seat. The gore. The film is not afraid to show some violent blood and gore.

Here are some of the things I didn't like about the film:

The underdeveloped characters. The characters are not very well-developed and it is hard to care about them. The predictable plot. The plot is very predictable and there are no real surprises.

The pacing issues. The film has some pacing issues and it drags in some places.

Overall, I would give Talk to Me a 6/10. It is a watchable film, but it is not a great film. If you are a fan of the horror genre, you may find some things to enjoy in this film, but I would not recommend it to someone looking for a deeper story like what you would find in Hereditary or Midsommar.

In terms of the film being overhyped, I think that is a fair assessment. The film has been getting a lot of positive buzz, but I think it is being praised more for its potential than for its actual execution. The film has some good ideas, but they are not fully realized. The film also suffers from some pacing issues and underdeveloped characters.
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7/10
Frankenstein in the hood
1 September 2023
The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster is a 2023 drama/fantasy/horror film written and directed by Bomani J. Story. The film tells the story of Vicaria, a brilliant teenager who believes death is a disease that can be cured. After the brutal and sudden murder of her brother, she embarks on a dangerous journey to bring him back to life. The film is inspired by Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and thematically challenges our ideas of life, death, and contemporary politics through satire.

Overall, The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster is a powerful and thought-provoking film that is sure to resonate with audiences. Its unique blend of drama, fantasy, and horror, combined with its strong performances and intelligent writing, make it a must-see film.
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5/10
The World is a Vampire
30 August 2023
The Last Voyage of the Demeter is a 2023 American horror film directed by André Øvredal and written by Bragi F. Schut, Stefan Ruzowitzky, and Zak Olkewicz. It is based on the chapter "The Captain's Log" from Bram Stoker's 1897 novel Dracula. The film stars Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dastmalchian, Jon Jon Briones, Stefan Kapicic, Nikolai Nikolaeff, and Javier Botet.

The film tells the story of the merchant ship Demeter, which is chartered to carry a cargo of fifty unmarked wooden crates from Carpathia to London. The crew of the Demeter soon begins to experience strange and terrifying events, and they soon realize that they are not alone on the ship. The film follows the crew's attempts to survive the night and the arrival of the Demeter in London, which is a charred, derelict wreck with no trace of the crew.

The production value was pretty good for most of the film except for the Dracula creature. I feel they could have done a better job with the CGI for the creature. Other than that, the cinematography, ship and ocean storms were well done.

I don't think the dialogue & screenplay were good and it turns contemporary political when I just wished it stayed with the novel. I also found the false bravado, pretense of courage, self-confidence and boastfulness, of some of the characters quite annoying.

The film had the look of a period piece but not the script and dialogue I expected from one.

I also thought, why go searching for the creature during the night on the ship, wouldn't looking for it during the daylight hours when the creature has fewer places to hide on board be a better idea? If the creature can fly, couldn't it just as easily fly off toward the coast of London? So somethings just didn't make sense. Searching every crate and leaving the one large crate labeled with a dragon insignia to be search for last, especially when its prominently in the middle of the ship's haul. Lol.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter is a standalone film that is not connected to any other Dracula adaptations. It is a dark and atmospheric horror film that is sure to please some fans of the genre. But I think they could have done a lot of things with the screenplay better. They had it 80% with the visuals, but the behavior of the characters kinda ruined it for me.

I don't think it will be a very memorable vampire film. It just felt like an ordinary creature feature film.
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The Boogeyman (I) (2023)
7/10
Better than expected.
29 August 2023
The Boogeyman (2023) is a horror film directed by Rob Savage and starring Sophie Thatcher, Vivien Lyra Blair, and Chris Messina. The film follows a family haunted by a supernatural entity after a desperate patient unexpectedly arrives at their house seeking help. It had some good scares and the atmosphere was creepy. The performances were good, especially from Sophie Thatcher and Vivien Lyra Blair. They brought some emotional depth to the characters, which helped to ground the film.

Although I am not big on jump scare films, the jump scares in this film were very effective. It's not ground breaking, but I was entertained. I just wished they spent a little more time developing a better supernatural monster and a more in-depth story.
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Bad Things (2023)
1/10
train wreck
26 August 2023
Bad Things might just be the worse film I've seen all year, 2023. I don't think the makers of this film have the basic knowledge of how to make any film and certainly not a horror film.

The central characters' friendship and intersecting romantic relationships, which are meant to be the film's grounding center, are described as having flimsy connections and dead air. The performances lacking chemistry and genuine feeling, leaving the film lacking emotional investment. The acting performances were abysmal.

It looks like they were striving for something along the lines of The Shining since it draws a lot of its inspiration from the Kubrick film. But they failed miserably.
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1/10
mindless action cheese flick
26 August 2023
The film is a mindless action flick that delivers on its promise of giant sharks and explosions. The action sequences are comical and cringy. The CGI unmistakable computer generated sharks don't really move how a real one would. Other films have made better cgi animations of sharks decades ago. The film is very predictable and the characters are one-dimensional. Its like a compilation of one liners from other films sewn together into this film. The dialog feels contrived and doesn't flow smoothly. The acting is wooden with robot like stiffness. There also seems to be some politics in this film making China a world leader in the oceanic environmental movement. Uh huh.. okay.
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5/10
Horror Anthology
26 August 2023
"Tell Me A Creepy Story" is a horror anthology released in 2023. The movie is directed by Samuel Dawe, Félix Dobaire, and Stuart Graham, and written by Samuel Dawe, Félix Dobaire, and Paul Holbrook 1.

The movie features a collection of tales dealing with serial murderers, home invasions, insatiable hunger, and more 1. The storyline includes a beekeeper who accidentally kills his wife before nervously burying her body under his vegetable patch, a child born with an insatiable and increasingly inhumane appetite, and a detective struggling with a number of missing children cases.

The downside is the film does not have a common over-arcing framework or theme connecting the four stories. Some of the stories don't even make much sense. As another reviewer said, its really four short stories with very little in common which each other sown together into a 1 hr and 26 minute run time. My favorite one would be the first one because the sounds of chewing made me uncomfortable and now I understand my sister-in-law who can't stand people who chew with their mouth open. Lol. This first short story made me see things from her point of view.

I won't say don't watch it. Just keep expectations low. It might be a stop gap between other movies or when you have time to kill. I like horror anthologies, but this one isn't successful which is a shame because some of the special effects were pretty good with the first two stories.
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Cobweb (2023)
6/10
Cobweb opinions
16 August 2023
Cobweb is a 2023 horror film directed by Samuel Bodin and written by Chris Thomas Devlin. The film stars Abigail Breslin, Toby Jones, and Kate Fleetwood.

The film follows Peter (Norman Yeung), a young boy who moves into a new house with his parents. Soon after, Peter begins to hear a voice coming from the walls. The voice claims to be a friend, but Peter soon realizes that it is something more sinister.

Cobweb is a slow-burning horror film that builds tension and suspense gradually. The film does not rely on jump scares, but rather creates a sense of unease and dread. The performances by the cast are all strong, with Breslin giving a particularly memorable turn as the troubled Peter.

The film's atmosphere is one of its strongest assets. The cinematography is dark and atmospheric, and the setting of a creepy old house is perfectly suited for a horror film. The film also features some effective sound design, which helps to create a sense of unease.

Cobweb is not a perfect film, but it is a well-made and atmospheric horror film that is sure to please fans of the genre. The film is not without its flaws, but its strengths outweigh its weaknesses. If you are looking for a slow-burning horror film with a strong atmosphere, then Cobweb is definitely worth checking out.

Here are some of the positive things I can say about the film:

The atmosphere is creepy and unsettling.

The performances are strong, especially from Abigail Breslin.

The film builds tension and suspense gradually.

The sound design is effective.

The film is not afraid to be ambiguous.

Overall, I would recommend Cobweb to fans of slow-burning horror films. It is not a perfect film, but it is well-made and atmospheric.
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8/10
The Crowded Room
10 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The Crowded Room is a 2023 Apple TV+ psychological thriller series starring Tom Holland, Amanda Seyfried, Emmy Rossum, Sasha Lane, Will Chase, and Lior Raz. It is based on the book The Minds of Billy Milligan by Daniel Keyes, which tells the true story of Billy Milligan, the first person acquitted of a crime by reason of multiple personality disorder.

The series follows Danny Sullivan (Holland), a man who is arrested for a shocking crime in Manhattan in 1979. As he undergoes therapy with Rya Goodwin (Seyfried), a young clinical psychologist, Danny begins to uncover the truth about his past and the multiple personalities that live inside him.

The Crowded Room is a complex and thought-provoking series that explores the nature of identity, memory, and mental illness. It is a must-watch for fans of psychological thrillers and true crime stories.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about watching The Crowded Room:

Do you enjoy psychological thrillers? The Crowded Room is a slow-burn thriller that is more character-driven than plot-driven. If you are looking for a fast-paced action thriller, this may not be the show for you.

Are you interested in true crime stories? The Crowded Room is based on a true story, and it does a good job of balancing the fictional elements with the real-life events. If you are a fan of true crime, you will appreciate the attention to detail in the series.

Are you open to learning about mental illness? The Crowded Room does not shy away from depicting the challenges of living with multiple personality disorder. If you are sensitive to this topic, you may want to proceed with caution.

Overall, The Crowded Room is a well-made and thought-provoking series that is sure to stay with you long after you finish watching it. If you are looking for a psychological thriller that is both entertaining and educational, I highly recommend checking it out.
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