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Michaelrsear
Reviews
Laid to Rest (2009)
Horrific acting
Gee, where to begin? Horrific acting - no plot - bad sets - cheapish atmosphere - you name it, it was awful in every way - and that's coming from a guy who loves B-grade horror films. It was touted as the gore film to end all gore films - well, there was gore, but not to the extent it was billed. Sure, there were some good effects and some killings were disgusting - but, the quality of the acting and characters can't compare to even most of the other low-budget B films. Which begs the question - what in the HELL is someone like Lena Headey doing in this film? Her acting - while also sub par, was good enough to stick out like a sore thumb. The only other bright side was the acting of lead man Kevin Gage who must have also been drunk when he signed on. I choose to ponder that perhaps the actors agreed to do the film as a "mercy act" for the benefit of the producers rather than approaching it as a serious gig. Speaking of the producers - it just so happens that the lead female role, kind-of acted by Bobbi Sue Luther, who, just happens, from what I gather, is the director's main squeeze in real life. This makes perfect sense since I doubt she could have gotten the part any other way. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe her acting skills. Her acting can't even compare to your run-of-the-mill first-term garden-variety politician. Besides looking as if she can hardly control grinning while being pursued by a deranged psycho killer, she always appears joyfully pleased to be on camera. Sure, she has the lead - but is the worst actor (a term I use as loosely as can be used) of the bunch - no small boast. I read several reviews which marveled at her beauty and thus gave her kudos for providing some eye candy. But, NOTHING can cover for her pathetic performance. I will go so far as to speculate that no amount of coaching can make her better. Some people just don't have the ability to act - Bobbi is one of them. No matter how long she hangs around the set - no matter what the role - I doubt she'll ever improve. As for her nude scene - she showed nothing - no money shot - and judging by how her chest appeared behind her blouse she is yet another fake-breasted bimbo with implants so large her nipples are probably stretched by the silicone like rubber bands. By the way - who decided over-stretched volleyball-sized breasts were attractive? I won't even get into the dialog. Anyway, I'd say don't waste your time or money - but it's the kind of film you need to see for yourself. I will admit it's well packaged and promoted - and some people seemed to like it. But, if the kills are what you're mainly focused on, I would suspect you're at the least a bit sick. I give it 2 out of 10, and that's because I'm feeling generous.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
A grotesquely horrible movie
Neither Christian Slater nor Tara Reid could help this grotesquely horrible movie. Bad acting bad sets bad story everyone involved in this film should make their way to a dark corner and hang their heads in shame. Everyone involved should have been banned from having anything to do with any film for at least two years maybe longer it was that bad. Usually I can get through the first few minutes of ANY film not so with this one. Give me "Zombie Surfers From West Hollywood" any day. My goodness what a disaster. Don't waste your time or money with this filleted mess of unborn octopus. Trust me, you'd rather dine on dried vomit than watch this movie.
Michael
The Descent (2005)
Great Film
I went into this movie with low expectations. I'm not sure why, but I just didn't expect much. After viewing it I was blown away it's an excellent film. Just the concept alone was disturbing enough to keep my attention a few 20-something young women out for adventure - taking calculated risks by exploring a cave to help spice up their lives has a certain feeling of dangerous vulnerability to it. There's something about the dangers associated with getting stuck underground that genuinely gives me nightmares. Perhaps because I had recently read the story of that poor guy in 1925 from Kentucky Floyd Collins getting trapped in a narrow cave and dying after a couple of weeks was still lingering in my nightmares. Perhaps it's my inability to understand how people continue to explore and die in caves but "The Descent" struck a nerve and ignited my imagination. The movie started a bit slow but I felt it was necessary to introduce and develop the characters. Still, slow or not, the mountainous scenery is wonderful the music hauntingly beautiful, and the cinematography spectacular. The movie takes off once the girls enter the cave. After a bit of way-cool spelunking, one of the them (no one saw this coming) gets stuck in a narrow connecting tunnel, and myself being very claustrophobic, I literally couldn't watch as my thoughts went back to the real-life disaster of poor Floyd. Again I wondered why anyone could consider risking the same fate as desirable. Nor do I understand a person who thinks squeezing through narrow tunnels deep underground is fun. Anyway, she barely makes it through when they experience a cave-in blocking the path they'd just come through. After some intense arguing the adventure planner and thus leader, called Juno, admits she didn't have a map or even if there was another way out. She also admitted it was a new cave system previously unexplored or at least undocumented talk about a buzz kill. Having no choice they press on. Eventually they encounter blind mutant people living in the caves who are hell bent on killing and eating the girls. The movie quickly turns into a truly gory horror movie which I wasn't expecting basically making this two movies in one. A surprise ending well developed characters frightening scenarios and good acting - the result is a great movie well worth seeing.
Michael
Shutter (2008)
A waste of time - sorry, but it's true.
Repeat after me: Boring contrived predictable a waste of time.
I really tried to get into this movie but just couldn't do it. It had a couple of good moments but on a whole I felt I'd just wasted my time. I don't expect much from this type of film and perhaps I'm being overly critical - but, damn - it just didn't do anything for me - perhaps I need to view it again with an even more open mind. But then, what's the point - right? If I have to try a like something it must not be very good. After all - I love most B-grade horror movies - but, not this one.
Michael
The Ruins (2008)
Good Film
I had low expectations for "The Ruins" but was pleasantly surprised. The storyline, while somewhat common to horror movies; i.e. Young people out to have fun and adventure find monster and thus are systematically eliminated in grotesque ways - had enough twists to be interesting. The cast was good, the acting good, the set good and the dialog good overall, a good film. Even as a huge horror fan who thought he had seen it all, there were moments I couldn't watch such as amputations, and self mutilation. There were also disturbingly unexpected moments such as when a young child is shot in the head which, while it was effective in shocking the audience, I could have done without. But on a whole it was a good example of an unexpected movie experience which these days, as far as teenage horror movies are concerned, is an accomplishment in and of its self. I would recommend it.
Michael
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Great effects storyline bad film sucked
Try as I might I could not enjoy this film because the DAMN WHACK-JOB FILM MAKERS WOULDN'T LEAVE OUT ALL THE IDIOTIC LEFT-WING CONDESENDING PROPAGANDUS SOCIAL ISSUES AND POLITICS. Did anyone miss that the George Bushish president was a sniveling coward unable to make a decision? Or the closed-minded vice president who didn't believe in (GASP) global warming - or the holier-than-thou scientists who it was up to to save the world with their superior liberal intellect and grasp of weather trends? Or the child genius who was so much smarter than his unenlightened professor? Just to name a few liberal attitudes. Through the entire film all I could think of was "Damn it keep the damn politics out of it and just let me enjoy the damn movie!" But nooooo, every other scene was the liberals dealing with ignorant conservatives who didn't know anything about anything. Of course, in the end, the Republican vice president finally came around to the liberal way of thinking but only after the deaths of billions and being forced to take refuge in the morally superior country of Mexico. Disappointing and disgusting doesn't even begin to describe this movie. And I used to enjoy Dennis Quaid's films. But, politics aside; the special effects were amazing which saves the film. Sort of. Oh heck what am I saying except for the effects - this film sucked.
Dennis Miller: The Raw Feed (2003)
Great Stuff
With all of the Hollywood liberal brain-dead crap out there it's a major breath of fresh air to hear Dennis get political and social comedy right. I'm not what I'd call a conservative or right winger but when EVERY OTHER DAMN COMEDIAN TRASHES BUSH OR REPUBLICANS OVER AND OVER AGAIN it's beyond refreshing to hear Dennis inject the voice of truth and commonsense into the cesspool that is stand up comedy. How utterly droll the constant anti-Bush garbage has become by lock-step left-wing idiots. So, then there's Dennis Miller, who speaks his mind and doesn't give a crap what his holier-than-thou politically correct moron friends of the Hollywood left think. He too seems tired of garden-variety liberal whack-jobs who constantly cram liberal garbage down the throats of us all. Instead, Dennis continuously bitch slaps the smirks off their over-bloated kissers. This video was excellent from the beginning - right through to the end. I've watched it 3 times so far and laugh every time. It's well worth your time and money.
Michael
Mirrors (2008)
Great Movie
Great Movie
After reading some of the other less-than-enthusiastic user reviews I have to say that I only slightly agree with some of their conclusions. Sure, there were some "so-so" moments, and holes in the storyline, but on a whole I thought this was an A-Class horror/thriller one of the best I've ever seen. After all, it's just a movie. Thus, I tend to base my judgments on how well it keeps my attention, how they effect me, and not by what I would have done differently. And, by how many times it makes my wife jump. She reports having been startled at least 10 times and it never lost my attention. That's pretty darn good. The look of this movie is creepy and often disturbing sort of Silent Hillish which, along with The Ring, seems to have become the norm for horror movies. I loved the look, feel, and creepiness of the massive burned-out department store and thought it was very well done. Overall, the movie seemed like a combination of The Ring, Silent Hill, The Frighteners, and The Boogyman. In fact, the film's opening sequence in the subway could have come right out of the video game Silent Hill 3. The main character played by Kiefer Sutherland, is an ex-cop named Ben who is waiting to be reinstated after killing someone in the line of duty, and is just all screwed up emotionally and every-other way. Sutherland does an excellent job as always. A good supporting cast made this film even better. I would swear even Jack from the series 24 made an appearance or two. But while the first half or ¾ of the movie is genuinely terrifying, some of the rest becomes somewhat standard stuff. This is a small criticism since I enjoyed the entire film; but once Sutherland hooks up with the old nun the movie seems to take on a, "well, let's get this over with" feel. But all is forgiven with what can only be described as a great ending which left it wide open for a sequel or not. There are fantastically creepy atmospherically theatrical elements throughout that were definitely intended for the big screen, especially inside the massive burned out store. But the main strength of the movie is when Ben explores, and eventually witnesses, insanely disturbing and creepy events inside of the store. There are plenty of charred mannequins which seemed to follow Ben's every move, but the creepiest events are mainly associated with large mirrors. Reflections of seemingly innocent victims, which I figured represented supernatural replays of customers caught in the fire, are seen burning alive; grotesque people lying on the floors covered in burns and bloody wounds were crying for help, and distant disembodied screams, sent genuine chills of pending dread up my spine. Of course, all of this happens while Ben's working the night shift in the dark with only the aid of a flashlight. The large movie theater screen effect makes these scenes unbelievably striking. If it's not seen in the theater, I'd definitely urge it be viewed on as large a big screen as possible. My 65-inch screen might be the smallest able to adequately reflect the massive creepy atmosphere of the department store effectively that, of course, is just my opinion. But, there is so much detail to be missed on smaller screens. I'd also recommend at the least a home theater 5.1 surround system but again, that's just me. In all, I give this film a 9 out of 10.
Silent Hill (2006)
Great Film
Like the games unless you really pay attention you might miss important details. But then again, even if you do pay attention you might not be sure if you know what happened. But that's quite okay by me - I like having too think a bit.
Some of the acting (very little)was sub-par but not a problem. The sets, the look of the film and all of that was unlike anything we've seen to date. And, Pryamid Head has got to be the evilest, cruelest, baddest thing ever to hit a movie screen - he puts the Freddy Kruger and Jason-types to shame. The only thing this movie lacked was enough PH. But that too is okay as I expect the movie makers to make it up to me in the sequel which I really hope is coming.
I was really pleased the movie remained so true to the look and feel of the games. And like the game it takes a couple of viewings to get a good feel for the story and characters - at least for me. It's a good excuse to buy the DVD which I did and have viewed it several times. But that's coming from a guy who has played the games dozens of times and still enjoy them.
I thought the main character R. Mitchell did a great job as did most of the actors. I'm not sure why but Cybil's part seemed forced at times - but that's okay since she's a babe.
I really enjoyed the scenes that came right out of the games - unlike many video game movies that you're not sure the movie should have the same title because they are so different.
Like most of the films I enjoy it got horrible reviews and as far as I know didn't do so well at the box office. I suspect it will do very well over seas and in video sales. It's pretty much a given that if the critics hate it I will love it.
But I digress.
My one criticism, all be it a minor one, is like the Tomb Raider series, I would have liked to see the main characters do a bit more exploring in creepy/dark environments with unseen monsters lurking in the shadows: Laura with her trusty flares and Silent Hill with a flashlight and radio in the school/dark streets environments. I guess because it's what characters of the games do most of the time. But it's easy to second guess.
Over all I thought this was a great film and well done.
Michael
The Alamo (2004)
Great Movie
A truly great film. Sure it has flaws as does every film ever made, but nothing worthy of such criticism. To compare it to John Wayne's version is meaningless - both are good in their own way. However, this latest installment is by far the best. The pains the creators went through to be as historically accurate as possible is nothing short or great. This film was beautifully shot and had many great moments like the approach of the Mexican army during the final assault. When Billy Bob Thronton peers over the wall into the darkness and sees hundreds of Mexicans nearly at the fort's wall it's both chilling and wonderfully done - it is quite possibly one of the greatest scenes in movie history. What the real Alamo defenders really thought and felt at that moment none of us will never know, but how the film was shot gives us some basic insight into the terror they felt knowing they were about to die a violent and horrible death. And how can anyone be unmoved by Crockett playing his fiddle along with the Mexican army and then saying "it's amazing what a little harmony can do." Or when the spirit of Crockett plays his fiddle at the Alamo after being revenged. This movie is full of very well-done scenes and lines like this. I wasn't much interested in Billy Bob Thronton's work before this movie or even recall having seen him in anything, but he earned my respect with his performance - he was that good. But while Thronton stood out in my mind, each actor was great. The fact that the actors felt a strong emotional attachment to this film was obvious. Thus, how anyone can find fault with this movie is beyond me. It's a great film about great men (although flawed like us all) and the ultimate sacrifice they made. I find it very disappointing to read some comments which say, "well, there wasn't enough action," or, "the characters weren't well developed," or whatever; all I can figure is those people saw a different film or are trying to somehow convince us they have some sort of unique insight and to that I say BS. This is a high-quality film with high-quality actors that I consider one of the greatest films ever made. If you didn't like it then go back to watching garbage like "Dude Where's My Car," or "American Pie" as you'll be better able to relate to that mindless crap. I guess a film that requires some thought and appreciation of great acting and production that doesn't rely so heavily on graphic violence, nudity, and gross filth, is beyond the intellect of today's average movie goer who will by contrast readily cite the unlimited virtues of such idiotic films as "Jason vs. Freddy," or any of the 100s of B-grade garden-variety teen slasher flicks that totally rely on the big-breasted bimbos and blood-thirsty maniacs to sell tickets - who, even if by some miracle they were able to read this review still wouldn't understand what I'm saying. Thank goodness for movie makers who will risk ridicule to make a good film about something meaningful. Hats off to all of those who were involved in making the Alamo.
Michael Sear