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Cube Zero (2004)
8/10
Very good for a prequel
26 October 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The original Cube was innovative, original and made incredible use of a small set and a small cast. A group of people stuck in a massive cube, itself made up of smaller cube shaped rooms which shifted around inside the larger shell, some with deadly traps, some without. Their objective, to find the way out without getting killed. Cleverly avoiding why any of them were there, the premise was that each of them had a skill that would help them escape, but only if they worked together. Since there would be no drama in this, they fail miserably. Simple, effective, claustrophobic and skilfully executed, it is a low budget classic with well rounded characters who are more than mere ciphers, and whose interaction had some thought put in.

How to follow that? Cube 2, Hypercube, decided to go the "bigger is better" route and put the characters in a 4 dimensional cube, with lots of CGI replacing the more down to earth effects of the first film. Unfortunately it was a mess as they decided to throw away the original script and replace it with the scientifically ignorant misconception that "quantum is the new magic because it says that any old nonsense I make up has an equal chance of happening."

Unlike Cube, Hypercube was a collection of idiotic situations with no coherence or intelligence applied. The clever ideas and character interaction of the first film were sacrificed for popcorn psychology, tired conspiracy theory and a laughable understanding of science and maths that would shame a fourth grader. To add insult to injury it went straight to video despite the attempt to make it a big flashy blockbuster. Embarrassing.

So, having failed dismally to produce a good sequel the third film is done as a prequel, set at an undefined time before the first film.

It provides at least one explanation for why the cube was created, which although not very original does hang together, was hinted at in the first film and has some interesting characters, with believable reasons for what they do and think. The conspiracy angle is well handled without getting into tedious detail. More is suggested than explained, and works better for it.

The cube itself is presented as a more primitive version of the one seen in the original film, which makes sense in the context of the trilogy. Criticisms of it for being more crude than the cube in the first film seem to miss that this is the point. It is one of many prototypes. The effects are also well designed to fit in with this idea, looking more workmanlike and less polished but still achieving the goal of wiping out the people inside if they get it wrong.

Unlike the cube in the first film, which allowed people to escape if they could work together to solve its puzzles, in this one the people are set to fail by operators who change the goalposts. Again, this makes sense in context. The cube starts off as a draconian prison with no real chance of escape, with that chance only coming later on as the cube, and perhaps the attitude of its creators, gets revised.

The fanatical totalitarian regime that created the cube(s) are believable enough, without going into a tedious discussion of their politics. They use anything to control the population, including brain alteration and religious indoctrination. They are suitably oppressive and corrupt when it comes to getting rid of anyone who challenges them, faking the paperwork and vanishing all dissenters. One prisoner who manages to escape is burned alive when he fails to acknowledge god, in a literal minded and unimaginative parody of hell.

The concept of putting people in a cube and experimenting on them still seems a bit silly when they could just shoot them. However, your average fascist dictator has to have fun too, I suppose.

The man in charge of the experiments, is a wonderful, colourful character who manages to put in a brilliant, eccentric performance that accentuates the insidious nature of the regime while staying just on the right side of pantomime.

The operators who are put in charge of watching the cube and operating the more simple controls are well represented too. The older operator, Dodd, is scared of his bosses, breaking the rules and his own shadow. The younger one is scared of that too, but not so cowed that he can't ask questions. They fulfil their roles without being too clichéd. Criticisms of them for being flat miss the point again. Of course they are. Less is more here, the stunted performances showing the effect of such a society on its people, where asking questions is a crime.

Like all sequels and prequels it raises the issue of whether it needed to be made at all, but after the pig in a dress that was Cube 2 it is good that a better film comes along to make up for it. Like many film series the first one is great, the second one is garbage and the third is good but not as good as the first, mainly because it brings little that is new by then. On that score it should be judged for how well it carries on the series, and Cube Zero does a good job here.

Cube Zero is a solid, if unspectacular addition to the Cube mythos, and head and shoulders above Cube 2, with coherent writing and losing the need to mistake science for magic. It went the only way it really could, outside the cube itself, and sets the scene for the first film even if it doesn't break any new ground.

Worth a watch and better than critics say. If they make a 4th one it will be because of this film, not because of Hypercube, and for that we should be thankful. All praise the unspecified regime.
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The Planet (2006 Video)
10/10
Great low budget effort
23 December 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Got the chance to see this at a friend's house today, and was impressed with what it achieved on such a small budget. Not that this ever bothered me anyway, since I love low budget sci-fi like Dr Who, Blake's 7 and Dark Star. Hell, even Outland wasn't a big budget affair, so whilst money helps, it takes more than throwing cash at things to make them good.

The story is straightforward at first, with a group of mercenaries paid to escort a prisoner through space. Their ship is attacked and they are forced to land on the nearest planet. They then discover the prisoner has made it too, he's a stone cold nut case and that's only the start of their problems.

The effects, except for the gunfights, are minimalistic and add to the film without overwhelming it. Computer effects look a bit dodgy at times, but serve their purpose well and add to the story, lending a futuristic feel to the proceedings. Films like I, Robot could have benefited from this approach instead of being largely style over substance and substituting special effects for a plot, like all too many of Hollywood's offerings.

Whilst none of the actors get Oscar material, it's tightly scripted and shot and at an hour and ten minutes doesn't outstay its welcome. The characters don't get fleshed out much, but then they didn't in Predator either, which it resembles in feel. Big man Mike Mitchell is a good stand in for Arnie and is a good combination of brains and brawn.

Some people may be annoyed at the lack of explanation towards the end, but I like it. Unlike a lot of films and shows which leave things unexplained, it is not so obscure that you can't get a handle on it at all, and I'd like to see a sequel where the nature of the aliens is explored further.

A cracking little film from an enterprising team, done on the cheap but a fun way to pass an hour. If this is what they can do on a shoestring I'd like to see what they would do with a bit more cash, and hope the film industry and the talentless armchair critics don't knock all the creativity out of them first.

Recommended.
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Cracker (2006 TV Movie)
6/10
Not as bad as people say
18 October 2006
For fans of the original Cracker nothing will ever measure up - how do you follow class acts like series 1 and 2? Answer - you can't really, times have moved on, no follow up can ever hope to have the same impact as the original and so it must be taken for what it is - a follow up which does its best to keep the feel of the original but which has to accept that, over a decade on, the country in which it is set has been through a lot of changes too.

Nevertheless this latest Cracker special isn't quite the abomination it's been made out to be, and I feel a lot of the criticisms aimed at it have missed the point.

It's true that the police are pretty characterless compared to old favourites like Bilborough, Penhaligon and Beck, but as opposed to being a criticism I see this as a clever comment on how PC has turned people in this country into cardboard cut outs scared of having a personality, especially in jobs where they have to deal with the public. Neutral, bland and nondescript, the attitude of our age is sharply observed as nobody wants to put their head on the block and be personally accountable for anything - passing the buck is the order of the day as they refuse to commit themselves to saying or doing anything that might come back on them later, accurately reflecting the paranoia of the modern workplace.

The anti-American sentiment is not as extreme as it could have been, but a few uncomfortable truths come out which I can see people being upset about. Too bad. To me this is not the writer projecting his political views onto the audience, as has been suggested, but that Cracker remains tough, topical and not scared to tell people the truth about themselves.

The plot could have been tighter in places and the coincidences it relied on are a little more obvious than in previous episodes, but not anything new in themselves. They've always been there in murder dramas, which by their nature are event driven.

Fitz is not as effective here which is a bit disappointing but is also more realistic than having the police bend the rules for him, which would have been out of the little character they have. He still manages to show his healthy disrespect for authority in small ways, like smoking in the police station, which I find just as entertaining as his more outspoken rants in earlier episodes. Times have changed and he's older. Robbie's performance has been called sleepwalking through the part but it could also be seen as Fitz being a lot more world weary since he is now in his 50s. As always, he is a joy to watch, and I can forgive a lot of the shortcomings of this episode to have him back.

To sum up, it's not Cracker at its best but it's not a disaster either. You could waste two hours on worse than this. In the modern day TV arena of the bland leading the bland, it still shines.
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10/10
Loved it
20 October 2005
The most agile fat guy in martial arts does it again. An early Sammo film that has him imitating his character's hero, Bruce Lee, Sammo is amazingly Lee like in his actions and fighting. The way he slips into Bruce's style and then back to his own, more familiar kung fu is a joy to watch and shows how accomplished and adaptable he is at his art. Throw in a bit of slapstick humour so beloved of this type of flick and this a movie that has it all - comedy (some unintentional, like the fake black guy), action and some incredible fight scenes.

A great beer and buddies movie that is worth an hour and a half of anyone's time.
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2/10
Not a total disaster but close
19 May 2005
I can't imagine when DNA wrote the screenplay that he would want it as badly executed as this.

The pseudo musical at the beginning with the dolphins is just excruciatingly bad and overlong with it.

The scenes for the book use the kind of washed out cartoon graphics we would expect from Pink Panther movies back in the 60s. Here they just look hopelessly cheap and outdated. Even the old TV series did a better job of the graphics. If it was supposed to be part of the humour, it didn't work.

Most performances were merely OK, none of them made me think "brilliant." Zooey's performance is the worst in the whole film. She shows inappropriate expressions in places, e.g. smiles when they are all being threatened by John Malkovich's character, and her range is so painfully limited it hurts. How this girl got to be an actress I don't know, she spends most of the time looking wide eyed and vacant, as if she'd wandered into a manga film by accident and really didn't get it. Instead of Trillian coming across like the person she is supposed to be, an intelligent, cool headed girl with two degrees and a genuine desire to explore the universe, Zooey plays her like a bimbo fresh from high school who thinks it's "cool" to go out with a spaceman. Arthur would never fall for this bubblegum travesty of such a great character.

A few lines save this otherwise complete mess - "I'm British, I know how to queue". The rest comes across as such a huge compromise to appeal to the Hollywood-centric audience, who are not known for reading much, it destroys everything that was good about HHGG.

The only possible redeeming factor of this sorry catastrophe is it might get a few people reading the books, which will bring home to anyone who does how bad this tacky excuse for a cheap, popcorn flick really is.

For the HHGG completist or people who never read the books. For everyone else, avoid, or wait for someone to do it who cares about the script.
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Sueurs (2002)
A cut above the average action flick
5 January 2004
I think critics of this film have the wrong approach. It isn't highbrow, or even pretending to be, it may to some be a waste of good actors, but I couldn't care less because I think it is great. There are times when I just want to switch off and be entertained by a mindless action movie, and this one not only delivers, but is pleasantly far from mindless.

We do see the robbery in flashes during the opening credits, the airport crew get shot and the flatbed driving away from the empty plane. On a side note I thought the music here was excellent. There are four main characters who have pulled off the job - the organiser, the driver, the mechanic and the gunman, all of whom are unhinged in some way and whose worst sides come out as events conspire to stop them making their deadline for converting the gold into cash.

But the biggest character is the desert itself. It's beautifully shot, really getting across the effect of the harsh environment on the crew as they begin to bicker and fall out. You know it will descend into violence but it is fun getting there - although the characters are shallow the mind play between them is still very interesting as their quirks and psychotic tendencies emerge and set each other off. I like the black humour of old French action movies so I didn't care how derivative it was here, it was good to see it again and a refreshing break from some Hollywood offerings, nor did it have their tendency to moralise or patronise. You won't have to be Sherlock to figure out what's coming but it's fun finding out and there were still a few surprises.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.
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