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grant-oneill
Reviews
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Embarrassingly poor
This movie would have been OK if the first half had carried on with its original plot. But then things change completely with the introduction of vampires. Why?
Not only that, but the so-called special effects were anything but special. I know this movie is nearly 30 years old as of this review, but even so, I felt like I was watching something from the early 80s.
But perhaps above all else, the only believable character was the one played by George Clooney. The rest were unbelievably shallow and emotionless, to the point of incredulity. A teenage girl is battling vampires using a crossbow and doesn't seem bothered at all. Then her entire family is killed (including killing her own brother) and she's cracking jokes five minutes later.
This affirms my belief that Tarantino is a hopeless writer, director, and actor
A terrible movie.
Raven's Home (2017)
Absolute garbage
Never even close to amusing, let alone bringing any laughs. This is the epitome of Disney family sitcom garbage.
Every joke is extremely predictable. The actors are mostly terrible. The storylines are ridiculous. The sets and props are cheap. The laugh track is extremely nauseating. Frankly, there's nothing even close to good in this program.
My kids watch this show, for some reason, but I've never heard them laugh or even look interested. Maybe they just chose it due to the lack of other quality programming for kids. But at any rate, I've given this 1 star for my own opinion, and 1 star for the fact that my kids watch it.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Boring and not funny at all
I can't understand why anyone is rating this movie higher than maybe 7/10. It isn't woeful, but it's very flawed.
The acting is mostly terrible. The accents are nowhere near good. Some of the cast overact and some underact.
This is supposedly a comedy but I never came anywhere near cracking a smile, let alone laughing. In fact, most of the jokes made me cringe. It felt like the writers were trying to make a hammy spoof comedy (which failed) but then the rest of the movie (outside of the jokes) didn't feel that way at all.
It's a very slow storyline and it never really goes anywhere. There are some unnecessary scenes, and many of the scenes don't really mesh with each other. Then suddenly it's over.
I definitely don't recommend this.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: 2020: A Year In Review (2021)
Boring, not funny
I couldn't care less about the political content, but this episode was just incredibly boring. There wasn't anything interesting, clever, or funny about any of it.
Time for this show to end.
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Perfection!
I've never said that about any movie before, but I can find a single fault with this one. I'm a massive perfectionist, and easily find faults of various magnitude in all family movies, but not this one.
The War with Grandpa (2020)
Terrible from start to finish
I'll keep this short.
There are about two decent laughs from this movie, and both from the same gag. Otherwise, all the jokes missed the mark. The cinema was dead silent most of the film and it made me cringe.
This was about as lazy an attempt at script writing out there, and the acting was poor. The amount of cheesiness was insane, making it hard to watch.
My kids both thought it was stupid, too. Best to avoid this one.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Horrendous
As a parent, I've seen a million kids movies a million times each, but I would never contemplate watching this again.
The writers seemingly went out of their way to mimic the original, only it was a pale imitation in every way.
The acting wasn't great, but many roles were poorly cast too.
And the music was completely forgettable. I couldn't wait for each song to end.
Pointless subplots, ridiculous plot holes, wasted talent.
Avoid this one. You'll thank me later.
Charming (2018)
Woeful
This movie was dumb from start to finish. Not funny in the slightest, very contrived storyline, full of cliches, and no imagination.
The animation was poor (particularly the lip syncing), too.
I don't know why they thought the three princesses should be stupid and vain. They also sing about loving Prince Charming based on purely superficial qualities, which I thought was quite out of touch with the messages society is trying to get across to children these days.
Similarly, the plot revolves around true love. How original!
The soundtrack was very average too. The songs seemed to be written in complete isolation to the events of the movie. They didn't "fit".
Give this one a miss.