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Reviews
Strange Wilderness (2008)
I...Cannot...Believe it...
Here is the setting: It's a dark and rainy night in downtown San Francisco, the wind howling, the rain begging for mercy while flying sideways, a usual winter setting. I figure, "Hey, you know AVPR looked like it had potential."
I exit the darkened theater, pondering what the two directors will do for work following this poor excuse for an adolescent's action movie orgasm. I made a pact that day with my friend, Mike, to never again fall prey to this trite waste of celluloid.
February soon approached, and I could barely contain myself for this awesome comedy with a pretty decent cast.
I'll skip to the end. This movie sucked. Hard. I'm talking unwelcome testicles of an elderly man. Even being baked out of my mind, I still couldn't help but reassure myself that the funny parts were going to start soon, that maybe some actor would be funny. I can count on one hand the segments that I laughed at. Even the character's weren't funny. Kevin Heffernen, who created the immaculate character of Rod Farva in Super Troopers, get's an F for this movie. But I don't blame him, I blame the stoned-junior-high-kid quality of the script. I kid you not, half the cast served ZERO purpose in this movie. I have never wanted to have a refund for a movie. EVER. Congratulations Strange Wilderness, you have become the new Club Dread.
Empire Records (1995)
I've seen better
Alright, I just finished watching this movie for the first time because a couple of my friends highly recommended it to me, saying it was by far their favorite movie. So, when my other friend bought it, i headed on over in anticipation, only to be disappointed by its bland and played out plot, little and sporadic humor, and lack of character development. Also, a few characters really annoyed the crap out of me like Mark and Corey. Mark is possibly the most annoying character I've ever seen or at least in the top 5 or 10. I also wanted to strangle Cory, Liv Tyler's character, at times, especially with her psychotic bipolar disorder shown a few times in the movie. I dunno I just felt like the end couldn't have come at a better time. In spite of these problems, I did enjoy Joe and most of the other character's however. All in all, I would give this movie a 6 to 6.5 on a scale of 10.