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Latentlove2000
Reviews
Session 9 (2001)
Underwhelming even in the dark by yourself.
There is something missing in this film and it really is hard to pinpoint it. I want to say there is a general lack of tension. Some may completely disagree with this, as I have seen many who felt there was plenty of tension and suspense but I wasn't getting it.
I sat through the film feeling like I was watching reality TV, not in a good way though. Common people doing in a realistic way a common thing (as far as their job is concerned). Problem for me was that they were so ordinary they were boring as well as falling into two-dimensional. The acting was by no means an issue here though, I'll admit that. I just didn't feel anything for them as characters.
See, this is the problem I ran into. The tension wasn't high enough to keep me on the edge of my seat and so that leads me to pay attention to the characters, but the characters aren't interesting enough to care about which leads me to not caring what happens to them. So when the tension actually does rise I'm "meh" about it.
There is one part in the film that uses a great use of camera work with lighting to create a creepy and back chilling affect. Problem is, this is the only time and it happens middle of the movie. Build up, peak, then plummet into meh.
In the end the movie (which I watched alone and in the dark) did not make me even feel a little bit uncomfortable (aside from one event in the middle) and left me underwhelmed. I didn't have trouble dismissing it. It could have used a clue from, can't believe I'm saying this, Paranormal Activity, in how to capitalize on camera angles. Long hallways with corners and lighting or lack of that barely touched the potential to make you freak without a sudden scare tactic. I kept waiting for that shadow or subtle outline, something to make me feel like there was someone, or something there with them.
I can't justify more than 5/10 because I walked away feeling like I had found out my friend bought a chocolate bar with almonds when he wanted crunch.
2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
The horror...that a movie this bad can be made.
Okay, let me just put this out there; I gave it 2/10 because it made me laugh. Now, lets look at why it made me laugh.
The simple fact of in the beginning of the movie a 2-headed shark jumps out of the water and kills the only two remotely interesting characters in the entire film by swallowing them whole.
Definition of remotely interesting: two chicks in bikinis who know how to rock the waves on wave-boards while being towed by a speedboat. They aren't the kind of girls you would never see doing this and to be honest it is pretty sweet the stunts they pull off. These are the kind of girls you want to sit down and talk to. You want to ask them what got them into the sport, how long they have been doing it, can you teach me how? Those kind of girls. So, in the start of the film the stage is set with three guys recording these two chicks who you want to get to know.
SORRY, but they don't even get the chance to talk, they just die. Now, they can be swallowed whole by the shark but for some reason the shark can't swallow the three guys who were in the boat whole. That makes a lot of sense right? More or less, after the two chicks on wave-boards die the movie becomes boring and full of laughs. You will laugh only to entertain yourself as you question why you have continued to watch the movie another second.
The female characters that replace the two wave-boarders make your brain melt as they are hardly interested in being athletic, obviously fun to hang out with, and having the IQ to realize doing something besides screaming is a good idea. All they do is pop their tits out into the camera and smile...or scream...or rid you of their existence.
K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)
If you like submarine movies or true events inspired movies
This one is worth picking up.
Going to get something out of the way that for some reason people are saying: Nuclear weapons don't accidentally go off, HOWEVER, those are weaponized, not a nuclear core in the first Russian nuclear submarine that no one truly knew how to run (hence the drama). They didn't know how things would react and the project was rushed, enough said.
That out of the way, this movie is slow but fast enough for you to not be bored. Camera work and acting is above normal and there is enough drama that you wont want to turn the movie off. I'm not going to go into a great deal of detail because it is a classic sub story that just so happens to be inspired by real events. Aside from that, there is nothing new, exciting, out of this world thing that has never been done before.
My one major complaint, while nitpicking and not really impacting the review rating is that the cast could have spent more time practicing their accents. Neeson might as well have been American to be honest.
7/10
Buried (2010)
It does the job but it falls short of too many things
I enjoy a good thriller, drama, horror, in general anything that is worth a watch just out of principle. That being said, I leave being bias in the locker to the best of my ability.
This film does a good job creating a claustrophobic nightmare and that is something I can not deny. If you have claustrophobia avoid this film unless you enjoy being freaked out. The camera work in such a small space is worth seeing just for the sake of it, however, you don't need to watch more than 15 min of the film to gather the extent of what they do with the space offered. Acting, both voice and physical is not Oscar worthy but not painful enough to turn the film off. Sound, good enough to establish the location and the things happening.
The bads, and oh there are many, is there is not enough music, don't care what anyone says. Yes, I understand, they wanted to pull you into his situation of being trapped BUT, BUT, music would have helped and greatly increased the empathy felt for the main character if done correctly. He tries to kill himself with fire, second most horrible way to go and a great way to drain the oxygen when he could have simply used one of the nails to cut his wrist and go an easy way. There is no other location shot...sorry, this is horrible. ONE shot outside, just a simple zoom out from the top of the ground above him with him screaming would have established a great deal of drama and suspense AS WELL as give the viewer a break from the never ending boxy environment. Hour and half of oxygen after using a lighter and attempting to burn himself makes it hard to know if the film is being at all accurate in possibilities or if they are being moronic. He, himself, is a dumb character. The burning himself alive is idiotic enough to make it seem like he deserves death when there were plenty of ways he could have killed himself.
Final bad; the ending is crap. You know from the start he is in a really crap-tastic situation that is being passed up as near impossible to get out of. After an hour and half you discover...spoiler...you have wasted your time and managed to be right, he was screwed. This easily leaves you going "why did I watch this?" "Fantastic, I watched a movie with next to hope just to find out he, as a character, doesn't evolve, the situation hardly changes (weak plot points) and it is all for nothing. Oh, and what a failure is use of money. 3 mill for one set, average camera, handful of characters (only one seen), a main character that is so shallow an inexperienced actor could pull it off, and pathetic costume design.
I have seen better films for less. This film could have been done by a freshman college student who decided to drop some money on wood, microphone, camera sand, a few around the house props, and volunteer actors / actresses. Easily under $1,000.
4/10: only because everything is good enough to be shown in a theater and sold on DVD.
Catwoman (2004)
If you want to see Catwoman...go watch Batman Returns
Lets start with the very eye-sore basics. For one, the mask/hat is laughable and by no means sexy. This, at its basics, conflicts with the overly revealing cut-up outfit. Less is more, not lets rip them off rip them off baby!
Catwoman having super powers is painful and makes a mockery of who Catwoman is; a woman who uses her body, wit and skill to be a masterful thief of both objects and the hearts of others. The super power aspect undermines her as a character.
I didn't go in expecting a story, so bash on that is absent, but how dare you use one of my favorite DC Comic character's name! I expected to see some show of her! It is like they spat in the face of a classic fem-fatal character by using her name just to bait in fans.
If you want a new take on the name Catwoman, enjoy this movie for that...and the absurd art design. Sorry, I have nothing nice to say about this movie, I am bias as a fan of Catwoman.