Reviews

If you've read earlier reviews, there's many comments about how this is like an Original Star Trek episode. For those who wonder why that is, there are two big elements: The soundtrack, and the dialogue. Both are truly dated, in exactly the same way that STO episodes are. Its fun in exactly the same way too. You can't take it seriously, but it's entertaining, like watching an old TV series, like Star Trek, The Avengers, or the Man from UNCLE. Just don't expect special effects or realistic dialogue. That's not how it worked in the late 60s early 70s. But at least there's not a "small orgasm" (ie commercial break) every 15 minutes).

I didn't realize that parodies were a thing in the 60s. This is clearly a jab at all the 50s SF space movies. And it would have been even better is Dick Miller HAD been one of the two comics. But really, the whole this is a comedy. They do not miss a trick. You will apprecaite it if you have seen many of the 50s Space movies. As for it being a parody/copmedy - you can tell, since it starts out with "Presented by R. I. Diculous". If that's not a big enough clue to not take it seriously, you are too dim to vote. (trying not to be too insulting, but it's really hard). Watching this for what it is, it is quite enjoyable. Think of it as training for getting a job with MST3K or RiffTrax.

Because this, ladies and gentlemen, is, as we used to say in the Navy, is a hurter. Terrible acting, terrible script, painful to watch from beginning to end. I truly wonder how they talked big name (if not big draw) actors like Udo Keir, Billy Drago and the late, great Carradine. I mean, I know that none of them command great salaries anymore, but I'd have thought they still had a little self-respect. They clearly were just here for the paycheck (I hope they cleared).

The only folks who should voluntarily watch this tripe are the good folks at Rifftrax. All else, steer clear. You have been warned, my friends.

Talktalktalktalktalktalktalktalk

That's all this movie is. Women talking, one guy talking, talking in a way that absolutely no one ever has. It's trying very hard to be something, but normal folks won't know what it is. Or what this whole damn movie is about. There's literally nothing but a ticking clock and people talking nonsense.

I think the folks who like this kind of thing enjoy the emporer's new clothing. I think he was naked.

FIrst off, I don't believe this was shot in 2011 for a second. It looks, feels and sounds like it was a shot on video quckie from the 1980s. I mean, someone talks about a Tandy 2 for god's sake. There is nothing good about this movie. DIalogue, acting, special effects, pacing, all are subpar. You wanna know how bad this is? The Polenia brothers would say it was crap. The most disgusting thing is not the horrible gore effects, but the naked actors!

Stay away unless you have a strong stomach. RIfftrax wouldn't even touch this.

Dirkmaster

I quite frankly don't see how anyone who has reviewed this movie has the ability to describe it. The audio is so muddy, and the lighting so poor, that I had absolutely no idea what was going on or why. Some deer hunters and other area yokels are killed by a bright blue light with a sword. Okay, yeah, fine, whatever. I was unsure even what their relationships were. It seemed like they were all related, but then they were sleeping together, so either there was incest, or they call each other brother and sister even though they're married. Maybe a cult? Couldn't tell you and could NOT care less. Avoid unless you are trying to get your Hurter Qual Card punched. It's not worth the time you will spend going "Wait, what?"

I know that some of you won't believe me, but this movie actually makes The Room look good. Yep, it's that bad. How bad you ask? Well, how about voice over for the first 25 minutes of the film. How about an anti-hero (played by the director/screenwriter/head bottle washer) with the tech powers of a god, who eats tuna from a can in his rundown car. And when we do finally get dialog, it's so clumsily written it's laugh out loud funny. "Worst than 9-11, or the other major attacks like 9-11" And the plot? Good luck with that. How any movie with this much voice over can be as unfollow-able, hell just plain incomprehensible, is one of the wonders of the modern age. Is he a good guy, bad guy, crazy, sane? Who know? Who cares? You sure as hell won't. Trust me. There is absolutely NOTHING redeeming about this film.

Obviously, the folks who wrote the above reviews saying that this is scary and a good movie are the director and his crew. No one, no matter how drunk, stoned, or deluded could seriously think this movie is anything of than a cow pie. I truly mean it, this is every bit as bad as Manos. The only way watching this movie would be enjoyable would be to MST3Kie it. I'm not sure there's enough alcohol in the world to make this good.

I can't wait to hear the commentary. If they say a single positive thing, I will know that there was something in the water. I'd rather drink the water from Cabin Fever than drink whatever would make you think this movie was good.

So many people have badmouthed this movie, I felt like I had to respond. First off, in fairness, I have to say that I rented this movie knowing nothing about it, except that I liked the title and a trailer I saw on another IFC disc. And, I spent the first 30 minutes rooting that a meteor would come and kill every character in the movie.

But then, outrageous things started happening with little consequence. And the main two female characters started growing on me. And more weird stuff happened, and even the goody two shoes started to grow on me. I'm glad the meteor never show'd up.

This is a funny, freaky movie, but you gotta give it time. Imagine my shock and delight to learn AFTER I HAD WATCHED THE WHOLE THING, that it was written and directed by a pair of women. And then, to discover that it's the two main female leads! Sexy, smart, wicked sense of humor (an almost guy-like sense of humor, if I might be so sexist).

In the end, I enjoyed this movie a lot. It wasn't pretentious, high-brow or meant to be taken seriously, and I think that a lot of the bile being shot at it is because they 1) didn't go all the way through, or 2) were expecting something else.

BTW, I didn't have any problem with the audio. But then, I always watch movies with subtitles on, cause I have a problem understanding dialog in the best of movies.

Really? Really? You absolutely HAVE to be kidding me. Does this guy actually think he can make movies? The Polonia brothers are masters next to this. I'd rather watch Forbidden Zone twenty times in a row than watch this dog flop of a movie again. How can you pad a movie with a two minute "wander off into a field" scene, and STILL not even make 60 minutes? One thing is for absolute sure, there's no question why this guy doesn't use his real name on any of his movies. If the rest of his filmography (and I will grant you I haven't seen any of the others) are at this level, one has to wonder 1) WHO IS GIVING HIM MONEY TO MAKE THESE??? and 2) What did he show MVD Visual that persuaded them to burn his snot rag of a flick to DVD and distribute it? Can you tell I didn't like it much. I'm not sure there's enough liquor on the planet to even make this movie MSTie-able. Avoid like a bill collector.

I love bad movies. Heck, I had a blog for years as the Bad Movie King. This, however, even depresses me. Black and white with painted in color for highlights (why? If you were saving money or going for that "Night of the Living Dead" vibe, why colorize features?) Deliveries so bad they really can't be called acting. An Elvis so pathetic you can only tell it's supposed to be the King by having other characters recognize him. A hero that is weak and stupid. Even the supposed 50's music is crap. The gore effect (kinda important in a zombie flick) are sad, but probably would have been worse in color. I see that it's supposed to be a comedy. I'm sure that after a couple more viewings, and a LOT more beers, I could MSTie it properly and make it funny. But do I want to endure this flick again? To paraphrase the tag line, "No, baby".

If you only watch mainstream movies, you will think that this movie stinks to high heaven. If you love b-movies, then you might get a few moments enjoyment out of this flick. The song at the end may be the funniest ever.

The problem is that its SOOO derivative from Blair Witch, that it really takes away from the few good points the film has. One hour in, and its still crawling along.

The acting is better than the Polonias brothers usual fare, (which I will admit is damning with faint praise). The camera work isn't hideous. It ain't great, but it is a step above their usual efforts. Its probably the about the best you could do for about $20000.

Of course, I wouldn't go so far as to say that its good...

The Good News: only 68 minutes long.

The Bad News: its 68 minutes of Polonia video tripe.

These guys should be taken as true encouragement to Indie film producers. If they can sell this offal, then you CAN succeed. Take heart.

The DVD release contains commentaries where the actors/writers/director/cameraman (there appears to only be 4 people involved in total) admits that they spent no money whatsoever. So in light of that, it IS impressive that they could talk anyone into releasing it on DVD. Or maybe they won a lottery and paid someone to do it.