Change Your Image
evimchine
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: Space Rabbit (2017)
I forgot how hilarious this show was!
"'tis a very silly show"
This episode made clear, that the new season will be rather distinct from the last one, introducing new characters and in a way, an entire new world. Not necessarily one I like or would have chosen, but undoubtedly with huge potential to be hilarious.
The humor was strong in this episode, but subtle, and so, may have gone over a few heads. And so was the mystery. There were soo many curious and strange things in there, that I now want to know the answer of! (And opposed to Lost or X-Files, know I will get, and in a satisfying way too.)
It went a bit under, in being chaotic, but that's half the point of the show, and especially of this episode. (Can't say why, without spoiling it. It's just so you know to keep watching, as it will make sense in the end.)
All in all, the funny meant, the rest didn't even need to be in the action, and that is good, because that way the show got to do a bit of valuable world building, to use in the later episodes. I know it will be very well worth it, and enjoyed this episode a lot. Exactly my humor. Which is rare nowadays.
Doctor Who: The Lie of the Land (2017)
Mind-blowingly AMATEURISH.
It is really impressive
how, in this episode, they managed to put every single thing deep into the uncanny valley of amateurishness. Especially since it's not due to the budget. The story, the dialogues, the behaviour, the look
there is *so* much narm in there
you can't help but feel second-hand embarrassment. Which itself is quite the feat, given how unsurprising and hence bland the whole thing is. Doctor Who really died with the last episodes. Like going down a slide of badness. I will not watch this show again, unless I know that the core team
the culture there
has been replaced. Thank you for ruining it
Moffat.
Doctor Who: Thin Ice (2017)
Amazingly bad story, and more cognitive dissonance than a religious political conference.
So, the Doctor lands in the 1800s and the first thing you notice as a viewer, is the intense level of "diversitywashing" / history re-writing going on. You know, that one that pretends to be on the opposite of the racism and discrimination scale, but doesn't tell you that the scale is a ring and it's touching the other end. As if the polarity of one's reality distortion would matter
If they want to show us different cultures, why not have an episode play in an actual normal African place for a change? If they can make it fake-snow, they can make it fake-sunny too. After all, half the point of watching this show, is for the unknown and insights into other ways of living and thinking. That would've been a lot more fun. But hey, at least it may fulfil this job for Nigerians and people in India, so there's a silver lining. :)) (I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.)
THE STORY unfolds to some huge sea creature, whose size can apparently vary from an animal that passes between the narrow pillars of bridges without touching them, over a huge whale/dinosaur that would definitely wreck those pillars, to as long as the entirety of the Thames that passes through London and as thick as 70% of the Thames. Which is held captive by the most stereotypical of 1800s imperialist/industrial nobility. Complete with hat, moustache, henchmen, and comically oversized detonator to push down while angrily clenched teeth. For the purpose of eating poor street children and (literally) shitting out space rocket fuel. Everything in-between was a rather chaotic mess, as usual, with the motto of 'dazzling people with "there's something happening" for lack of anything touching or of memorable relevance'. You are left with a wasted 44 minutes and barely anything but emptiness inside where an impression should be. Talk about thought-terminating clichées!
The only good thing was a bit of nice Doctor-Companion character-development interaction, and "the door" at the end. (Which suggests strongly, that this was a filler.)
THE AESTHETICS are exactly the same as always with such stories. The one's we've seen from Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes to Star Trek "holo deck" episodes. As if the same costumes have been passed around for generations. Just this time without the usual gritty visual filters. (Remember: It wants to appeal to children.)
ALL IN ALL, there was nothing to leave a lasting impression, except for a mild disappointment in the hate shown by the writers, and mostly by how little it impressed. No matter who you are, or what your views are
this will be the same for you.
But at least, they minimized the risk of "offending" anyone. And that's what it's all about. (Although I'm mildly triggered by them breathing and there being a a sky. Why are you non-breather shaming and mole people shaming?) }And *that* /was/ sarcasm. :}
FINALLY, it looks like the next episode is even going to be worse, with the utterly worn-out "haunted house that eats people" story template.
___ P.S. Dear IMDb: Unamerican English is not wrong, square brackets are not markup, and when I make line breaks, I make them for a reason!
Citizen Khan (2012)
Reminds one, how bad small sitcoms used to be in the 70s/80s
As a son of ex-Muslim immigrants, who knows that religion is just another word for schizophrenia, and has suffered under religious extremism, as well as neo-Nazis and intolerance, I thought I'd give this a try.
What I expected was something hilarious and refreshing. Something honest, yet not infected by the abusive terror of "political correctness".
What I got, was as if someone had cloned a lame sitcom out of the 70s or 80s. Jokes that you could see decades in advance. A plot as predictable and as simple as the reactions of radical religious fundamentalists or racists or everyone who reacted to them. Very cheap set and lighting. And a level of acting that I hadn't seen since the 60s Doctor Who (where they regularly used to just keep rolling the tape after stumbling over their characters' lines or cables on the set). Not as bad as Doctor Who. But not something I would put on TV, beyond a city's local public channel.
And sadly, barely anything "offensive".
I still like the premise. It has potential. Doctor Who started out badly too. Although I feel like nowadays, this just doesn't suffice to justify keeping it running until it gets good.
South Park: The End of Serialization as We Know It (2016)
The season that went over Americans' heads
This is the finale of by far the best season South Park ever had.
But the problem is that plot lines of this complexity and a distance that far between connections, just is too much for the mostly American audience.
Which leads to hilarious complaints, like plot parts being forgotten, when it is made very very clear that those parts are still to come. And generally the "It was a mess" comments. A typical response when people do not only fail to understand something, but way beyond that, even fail to realize that they are failing. (A result of the Dunning-Kruger effect.)
Nonetheless, this episode linked most of the lines together in a – typical for South Park – right-on-the-razor's-edge deep analysis of the problem and a view on it, that allows us to see everything with humor. Exactly what comedy is supposed to do.
and gave us a cliffhanger, to make clear even to the thickest minds, that the other plot lines were grown as a basis for the next season. (A good decision.)
In the right audience, this would have had the chance, to actually make the world a little better.
But now my only concern is, that they might succumb to the power of the – unfortunately still their main audience – loud dumb. The title of this episode already smells like it. Which ultimately, they have no choice but to do; unless they start focusing on other countries as their target audience.
So it leaves me only to conclude: THANKS, PROFIT-DRIVEN DUMBING DOWN and INTELLECTUAL CRAB MENTALITY. You ruined a great thing — once again.
The Grand Tour: Opera, Arts and Donuts (2016)
The most lame and boring episode as of yet.
By now the fan goggles really are off, and we realize, that this is just a rather boring "car show" with a bit of forced humor and a whole lot of unremarkable nothingness.
Sorry, lads. It was good to try. But it failed. Top Gear was never really was popular because of being a car show. It was a funny and amazing show
in a car world.
But now the fun bits are missing. (Anyone remember them welding cars on top of cars upside down, and having a destruction derby with two drivers per car?) The amazing bits are missing. (Anyone remember the first Africa special? Or the north pole one? Or the Reliant Robing Space Shuttle, ffs??) And we're left with no car show *and* no comedy show.
Rest in peace, "Top Gear blot with another name".
South Park: Not Funny (2016)
This season has officially flown over the heads of its audience.
This season is just teeming with interwoven plot lines and has a pace, that makes in an amazing thing to watch. But this episode, they've officially broken the awesome meter and went waayy over the complexity level most people (in the US) can handle.
So as good as the show is, as unfortunate is the situation: If people can't follow it anymore, the most beautiful structure will look like meaningless chaos, confusing and empty, and people can't feel it either.
That's why we see so many people saying that it doesn't make sense, that they lost their ways, that it's not funny, or a mess
It *is*
to *them*. Which is a problem, if *them* — however limited they may be — are most of your audience and the reason you can finance it in the first place.
This is an old familiar pattern.
The same thing happened to Revolver, that film by Guy Richie, that was nearly universally hated in the UK and US, but is considered the best movie he ever made and nothing short of a masterpiece here in Germany and many other countries. It takes a *lot* of brains, and I'm not just talking about obsessive logic skills, to fully follow that film. I can completely see how it might just look like nonsense, if some of the parts went over your head.
So I'm afraid this episode marks where this Phoenix flew too high, and burnt itself on the clouds of the minds that lifted him.
Let's hope the show is international enough by now, that Comedy Central can just ignore a soon-to-come regional ratings drop. Because I'd be very sad to miss this, after *twenty years*, still best show currently on television.
WATCH IT
WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
The Grand Tour (2016)
(If you really are open to other views ) The chemistry has been forced to death.
If you really are open to other views: I watched Top Gear since the 2002 reboot, and the two most fun elements were the specials and the chemistry between the believable characters.
But when they realized this, they gradually tried to force it, resulting in it becoming more and more over the top. And in the end it just stopped being believable. Which means it stopped being fun.
In The Grand Tour, they desperately tried to re-ignite that chemistry. (Jeremy says so himself.) But by now it has completely stopped being natural and believable, and is more like someone badly copying a caricature of a nostalgic memory. And all that's left is them looking like they're trying too hard. That's just not fun anymore. And that makes me disappointed and sad.
The other problem that I have is that, given their apparently much bigger budget, having each episode be a special and then some would have been possible. But they just went on doing basically the old format. Which is rather wasteful, financially.
Well, at least their mini-specials each episodes give a bit of joy. I still have hope. I'm just rather disappointed.
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Judging from the first episode, this may become the best TV show ever.
I have one rule: Never give full points. Unless it is *at least* perfect
to me.
Today I gave 10 points.
I was crying at the end
No clue why, but I was. And it was perfect.
-----
# Of course it was nothing like the original books. For one it used moving pictures, and was shown on a screen. Which is nothing like the original text on paper. It even had audio. Something books never have been seen having in the frankly rather limited history of mankind. Therefore I suggest anyone preferring books to look for *books*, should they actually want to experience the original, as that is rather missing the whole point of making something new based on something old and for a different medium too.
# It also felt like what Doctor Who should always have been, and only occasionally was.
# The story structure was deliberately as "holistic" (read: seemingly chaotic, but still always connected and coming together) as the theme of the show.
# The actors and scene design were amazing. The latter visually reminded me of the The Fifth Element and in terms of sheer artistic effort of 300.
# The potential of this show was insane. Although I expect nothing less from a Douglas Adams universe. This didn't make it have any less potential though.
# And the whole episode was a series of extremely interesting mysteries. Which is about the best thing that a mind can experience, if it isn't caged by the fears we generally know as conservatism, religiousness, nostalgia, surveillance fanatism / totalitarianism, control freaks, minimalism, simplism, racism, hipsterism, or generally being a total pussy^Wkitten.
-----
So going by the general American / IMDb mindset, this site will very likely *hate the living guts out of it*. Good. Like Trump, it's what they deserve.
Fargo (1996)
What an amazingly and thoroughly disappointing movie.
There is absolutely no reason for this film to be noteworthy in any way.
Some movies aren't good, but at least they are bad. This one doesn't even have the courtesy to be even bad.
The story is mundane and replaceable. The scenery is as boring as a literal blank piece of paper. There is nothing that can even be said about the acting. No character one could connect to. Barely anything happens.
And I'm no action junkie. I prefer calmer but smarter films. This one is just calm. But with nothing going on behind it. Which misses the whole point. Like a piece of music that as so obsessed with the silent parts, that too little notes are left for the silence to stand out and mean anything anymore.
I can only attribute its high score to a severe case of film snobbery.
So if you are the type who lives in a very very rural area, yet believe there is such a thing as a wine/cigar/
"expert" and that you are one
If you "like" caviar. Or engage in other kinds of silly snobbery
then this one's for you.
You can act like you like it to elevate your ego all day, and for no reason everyone will believe you. Congratulations.
The X Files: Babylon (2016)
It became yet another US mass-murder industry propaganda mouthpiece.
The episode introduces a blatantly obvious "new Mulder", that is the US three-letter-agency equivalent of a Hitler-Youth-bred Gestapo agent, and a even more blatant "new Scully" too. Not even with a new character twist.
Then it goes off on the cookie-cutter meme story line of the "ebil mooslims" who of course go off to bomb some, in this case literally, meaningless place in the middle of nowhere (as if they'd care for a Texan art gallery), for their stereotypical "ebil reasons". Any thought on looking into those, or attempt to understand them, is treated like a taboo.
Due to the hand holding and saying God shall gave them the power to speak, I expected them to be gay and try to get a job at the art gallery. Which would have made an actually interesting and maybe even hilarious story. So you can imagine my disappointment, when the whole stereotype is played straight 'til the bitter end.
What is also never mentioned, is that the vast majority of terrorists in the world, were directly and deliberately created and armed by the US mass-murder industries / government (same thing), to justify making even more money with selling mass-murder toys to each side of each of the artificial conflicts. (Taliban, Swoboda {Ukraine} and the IS are just three examples. The Mexican Mafia is another partially related one. More can be looked up on Wikipedia and the Snowden leaks.) (The rest of the terrorists were mostly bred by the Russians. Only then come those independently bred by the Islamic, Christian and Jewish churches, with their fair share. A minute few German- and French-backed ones are known too.)
Instead, soldiers, in full war gear, are shown *inside* the USA, with the "FBI" badge on their armor, as if it was just a normal thing
In case you didn't know: This union of the military and the police, was exactly, what made the SS distinct from what normal countries have. (Just like the merger of intelligence agencies and police that is the DHS, made the Gestapo what it is.) Those are horribly anti-American things, by the way, that one would only expect in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan or Iran.
So in conclusion: This episode seems to be the first step of transitioning the show into /yet another/ of the vast number of pure propaganda shows, sponsored by the US mass-murder industry, to distract people from the above facts and get them into the mindset where all these horribly evil things are right and OK, "because of these other horribly evil people
nevermind that they are /caused/ by those horribly evil things we did".
It is really sad to see the USA go the way we here in Germany rejected decades ago, after the very same USA was on the right side and helped the Brits, French and Russians to stop it. I miss the old USA
but I digress
Mr. Robot (2015)
The Big Bang Theory of "hackers". – Could this be any more stereotypical?
The very beginning of the very first episode will already make it very obvious, what this show it all about. (Not that the rest would at any point start contradicting that.)
It pretends to be a show about a "hacker" (a term that anyone who actually does such stuff would never ever use to describe it[1])
acting and thinking like a AOL user (who prints out his e-mail) or a iPhone-wielding media industry hipster believes such fictional people to act.
But in reality, it's about depicting anyone who's even aware of those who rule from 'behind' the scenes as a "crazy conspiracy theorist" with "mental problems"
like Edward Snowden never happened.
Like Kappa Beta Phi [2] doesn't exist.
Like it's still 2012 and we're all blind believers. A well-known technique of discreditation that was documented[3] in the presentations released by Snowden, and well-known for a long time before that[4].
It's very obvious whose interests are pushed here. Especially with the second season being ordered before the first had even aired.
I'd absolutely not be surprised, if the budget for this production and the positive "reviews" came straight out of the Operation Earnest Voice [5] budget. But I'm sorry mates. Post-Snowden this doesn't work any more.
At least it's not yet another show glorifying mass-murder, torture and terror by
he military and the police, like half the other shows released in the USA today.
___
^ [1] http://preview.tinyurl.com/p4s2ulj
^ [2] http://preview.tinyurl.com/mrvhsd2
^ [3] http://preview.tinyurl.com/k9hjlnv
^ [4] http://preview.tinyurl.com/ye95vgk
^ [5] http://preview.tinyurl.com/q8egn3z
Dark Matter (2015)
Turns out to be nothing more than yet another American murder propaganda show.
The characters are a stereotypical cookie-cutter "assorted box of murderers" that make up every other show coming out of the USA. On a space ship that could barely be more generic. The stories revolve around masturbatory murder and torture fantasies that would make any professional murderer (military & co) or torturer (e.g. "black site" concentration camp employee, FBI, DHS, TSA, etc) wet between the legs. The feel reminds me a lot of Battlestar Galactica (2003) without a budget and without the engaging "mythology" back story
or the completely forgettable Stargate Universe. Except with more murder.
If at least there was something distinctive discernible, it could have been watchable, although sickening to anyone not a closeted murderer/torturer himself.
Like this. It is DoA
like it's already nearly expected for "SyFy" shows. If you really need to waste time on a B-series / "SyFy" show, I recommend watching the much better 12 Monkeys re-imagined TV series instead.
Orange Is the New Black (2013)
Every single thing about this show is sickening. A perfect reflection of the social cancer of the American society.
The views, mindsets and world represented in this show could only possibly grow in a proto-fascist society of barely humanoid sociopaths and psychopaths that is riddled with cancer-like deeply messed-up social rules, like it is the case in today's western, and doubly so, American society. From the insane obsession with the repression of any kind of emotions that could have others confuse one with an actual human being, over the countless ridiculous stereotypes shown, to the whole way the barbaric practice of imprisonment is presented.
If you are not a part of that cancerous culture, this show will deeply disgust you, and remind you, to never ever become part of that "culture", and never even travel there, until they have eradicated themselves. (Which is only a matter of time.)
At least nudity is sanely shown. (But still insanely judged.)
A stereotypical American will probably love the show for those exact reasons, because of how much he can see his own insane world and personality in it
and probably hate the nudity. LOL
12 Monkeys (2015)
TL;DR: Surprisingly nice, for "SyFy". Worth trying on.
This is no Dexter, yes. But it's not the typical bad SyFy production or case of remakeitis. Don't watch it with over the top expectations, and it will be a lot of fun.
The unfolding of events is exciting, and caught at least me. The main character does a rather good job. I like the role and how it's played. There's much that wasn't in the movie. Which is a good thing, since otherwise there would be no point in watching it.
The visuals are a bit dark though, making me think the targeted typical LCDs with white-out or failed at gamma-correcting. People who own such displays and don't have them calibrated (which sadly is pretty much everyone), will not notice the loss of quality though.
Since there have only been 2 episodes as of now, saying more would be too much. I recommend trying it on. If you like the first episode, you'll like the second. If not, then I'd not waste more time.
Finally: The depiction of a NSA person as a good guy" is absolutely unacceptable and downright treasonous though. It makes me think this turns out to be yet another disguised military-sponsored PR piece, and that the writers might be part of the Cheney Youth, endorsing torture, fascism and mass-murder. I am willing to overlook this one case. A second one will not be tolerated though.
Continuum (2012)
Pure unadulterated totalitarian neocon propaganda.
This show sets the mood very early on. It establishes that:
1. Liberty and freedom are bad concepts. 2. People that want to have rights and be free are "terrorists" who "deserve" the electric chair. 3. Everyone like that has no trouble murdering masses of people. (Otherwise it would be harder to brainwash the viewer into hating them blindly.) 4. Cops can brutally assault your body and your privacy even for minor property damage. They are therefore called "liberators". (See: Newspeak. Also: "24".) 5. Everyone should have a total surveillance chip in his head that uploads their whole daily life to the corporation that owns them. 6. The country should be literally ruled by corporations. 7. There should be no freedom of speech. Only the illusion of it, by making you not *want* to say anything that's not allowed, and keeping it that way with STASI-like peer pressure and fear. 8. Huge corporations with no boundaries to their greed and profit are "good", individuals with rights and governments protecting those are "bad". No exceptions.
And that is only the very first episode.
No, this is not presented in a dystopian light. You are actually expected to *like* these views!!
It is only because WE still value freedom of speech, that something as hateful and evil as that is not illegal to produce and broadcast.
If you like to watch FOX "News", Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and other such pro-fatcat criminals, you will like this show. If you're still a free human being, it will make you sick to the stomach.
I, for one, had to stop watching, for I was afraid they might next present Nazi marches, Übersoldat propaganda and selling your own grandma for profit in a "good" light.
Super (2010)
A film about everything that's wrong with religious fundamentalism and America
This is film that argues that "one should brutally and horribly murder people for butting in line, because those things are /wrong/".
It is a film about how rape is "totally OK and funny"
if a pretty woman does it.
It is a film about how the ones dealing drugs "are mostly black".
But most of all, it is a film showing us why religious schizophrenia (aka. fundamentalism) is such a horrible and dangerous illness, and why murder and terrorism is a typical behavior for such gravely deluded people.
There is not much more to say about a movie whose main character is the typical pathetic extreme loser type who hates himself (that seems to make up a big part of the USA today), and his worn-out cookie-cutter quest to put his dream girl on a pedestal. (By murdering people in most brutal and psychopathic ways, and the director then justifying that as good and right and "in the name of the lord".) There is nothing funny about this whatsoever
unless you are such a type and it resonates with you. (You probably aren't.) If I wanted to see something like that, I'd have watched a Taliban / Al Qaeda propaganda video.
I didn't. You won't.
Whoever came up with this, needs a looong mental hospital stay. One with bars in front of it.
Upstream Color (2013)
There is no one review for everybody. You pick your crowd.
Please read the following slowly
and calmly
This movie, like Primer, requires a prohibitively high intelligence, to be appreciated. Though this time, it's more the emotional intelligence. Unfortunately, most people are way below that level. That is a simple observed fact. And unfortunately, it is the case, that any sufficiently high intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity. That is not anyone's fault. It is just the unconnected mess that's left when one can't make the connections. How is anyone to distinguish that from being offered an already unconnected mess? That's impossible! So don't blame people for giving it low ratings. In their perceived reality, it is factually bad. And nobody is more right or wrong. And don't blame people for being pretentious and "artsy" about it. Those are very empathic people; and even if they may also not have understood it all, the emotional message overwhelmed them anyway.
If you are daring enough though, make sure you have the mind of a Sherlock Holmes, and the sensitivity of such an empath. And then open up. You must allow the movie to modulate your perception and your emotions. Like a hallucination with a clear mind.
If you succeeded, you will only know at the end. Remember Fight Club? It seemed like a rather depressing movie that doesn't have a lot of sense
until that hair-raising realization. It's like that. Only if you get that feeling
you will know which one when you get it
will you know the experience arrived in your mind.
Everything else,
frankly,
doesn't matter.
___
P.S.: The split in reactions in the audience, some hating it and saying it "makes no sense", and some loving it and saying they get it, is extremely similar to what happened with Guy Richie's "Revolver". Here in Germany, it is a legend. A masterpiece. In the USA and UK, it is hated and called a "flop".
As I said: You pick your crowd.
But never ever underestimate your own mind. :)
War of the Worlds (2005)
Another case of writer stupidity overload. If you have a brain, you will hate this movie.
{Hint: No critical spoilers included.}
The premise for this movie is great. The "mythology" of the tripods is a very powerful one, and in the right hands, is almost a guarantee for a movie you will remember.
Unfortunately, this is where it stops. The main problem of this movie is clear as day: The incredible, mind-boggling stupidity of the writers. Resulting in just as incredibly stupid characters and situations. Which divides the audience into two groups: 1. People with a equal or lower intelligence will not be afflicted by this problem, and have a chance at liking it. (Well
see below.) 2. People with more than half a brain, who will notice the incredibly mind-bogglingly stupid things, and *scream* at the screen from sheer pain. They will see characters deliberately run into dangerous situations for no reason but "This is fun!" (while seeing a huge weird lightning storm) and "I *have* to see it" (trying to run straight into the fire of literally a thousand missiles/grenades/cannon shots/
). They will see the stereotypical incredibly annoying screaming spoiled little brat (every horror movie has to have one, apparently) that they just wish would die as early as possible. They will see a parent who tries to keep his son from doing said idiotic things, even though the obvious only possible outcome means he loses his daughter *in addition* to his son. They will see things like a huge fire caused by a exploding plane that scorches the whole basement black, but weirdly leaves a thin wooden shelf untouched, leaves the wooden stairs intact so the character can conveniently use them, and leaves the ground floor wood flooring as new with a burning jet engine on top. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm not saying this as an insult, but as a statement of facts: The whole freaking thing is so dumb, I would sign a document that the writers are certified mentally disabled people any day, and easily prove it in court if necessary.
Now on to the story itself: What I expected was a big spectacle middle/finish, at least like Independence Day, or Half-Life. Something large. Something deep. Something complex. What I got instead was: "Hey, those tripod monsters are attacking us. Hey, we can't kill them. Hey, wait, that simple trick is how we can kill them." It was extremely disappointing. Like: "That's all?? You're not even trying to end the story?" Think of the disappointing end in Cloverfield
times one million. Literally! What was the ending resolution in this film, is what's the end of the second short act (right after the premise) in full movies. No resolution or explanation or back story of anything. They didn't even bother.
All in all, I can only call this a "demo version" of a real movie. A really dumb real movie. There is no excuse for this. There is just no excuse for this. 1/10.