Reviews

What a problematic piece of garbage. In order to truly gain knowledge of how a bad a film is one must go behind the scenes and then watch the film. So for this review I will be doing just that. To start with this film was stuck in production hell, platinum dunes which had done the last chainsaw movies didn't want to do a third and thus opened the gates for a new company to take direction with the film. After a long drawn out process finally lionsgate purchased the film franchise and announced the film. Lionsgate who is in league with twisted pictures are known for horror movies now days so that could either be good or bad.In this case it was the latter. Now to start with the film.

The film was directed by John Luessenhop and written by Debra Sullivan and Adam Marcus. With the exception of takers, I am really not familiar with the director but I can see where lions gate was trying to go but adding a fresh director to the franchise. Now the casting, The film stars Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Tremaine Neverson (trey songz), Tania Raymonde, Thom Barry, Paul Rae, and Bill Moseley. Now the casting choice was kind of strange to me but I guess they were relying on the singing career of trey songz to push the movie. Now the plot, The story centers on Heather, who discovers that she was adopted after learning of an inheritance from a long-lost grandmother. She subsequently takes a road trip with her friends to collect the inheritance, unaware that it includes her cousin, Leatherface, as well.

So all together the film doesn't seem to bad, but after the first scene which was a continuation of the first movie the diarrhea dial is cranked sky high. The plot becomes a jumbled mess of teenage rudimentary writing and inane characters which are just stereotypical horror movie characters. Little or no frighting moments, no chemistry between actors, no believable anything. This movie takes everything that could be smart about the franchise and spits on it. Another thing about the movie that provides the biggest plot hole of them all is that fact that this movie claims to be the squeal over the 1986 film. Now I can see where this could happen seeing as how the film that happened in 86 was ten years later then the first film but this film skips all the way to the year 2012. There is nothing to like about this film accept for the opening scene. I found it very intriguing as how they used old clips and tied them with modern day story but then starts an even larger plot hole seeing as how none of the other family existed at the time and the 86 film showed leatherface and his father and I am guessing another brother but the opening scene has the father dying. So that totally eliminates number 2. So already I am confused then the characters, who cast these actors? I couldn't believe any of these actors as there characters and even if I could there was no character development to back them up. The film becomes stressful and feels long as there is a lot of nothing going on for a very long time.

I can continue to say how bad this film is and then I realize that this movie was made for teenagers. It has to be there is no logical explanation of why it is so bad except for the fact that it is made for teens. But the ploy worked because it made its money back and then some to reassure us that there will be a sequel. Honestly I would rather watch the next generation. Yes I know its bad but to be honest at least someone in the movie was trying to do something other than just shat out a movie to make some money.There is no direction here and to pay the three extra dollars for two 3-d scenes was a complete ripoff. The film company has made a sin that they should bury and never dig up ever again.

Well here I am once again in the video store with my wife, we are just walking through the racks trying to figure out what it is that we want to watch. I have already made my selections and she has done the same, until she runs across this little picture. The league of extraordinary gentleman. Now to be fair I had heard of the title but being a fan of Allen Moore I decided to stay away, mainly because the adaptations of his writings are poor. Now I had heard that this movie was terrible and i should have listened but like a fly attracted to horse dung i found myself wanting to watch it.I think the main reason is because Sean Connery was in the movie. Now what made the comic strip so great was the unique characters and the strange settings. Now what did the film use of these things........nothing. I cant really think of any good points accept that the action isn't really that bad. The director and story writer really just thrown away what made the comic great. Well lets dissect this hunk of garbage. The characters, there are too many there is no room for them to develop, a smaller cast would have been great for this movie. Each person in the movie got about three Min's of screen time per frame. Now the action its OK at best but it seemed a little rushed, what Connery could have added would have been a James bond style of movie with pacing and good story telling. But instead (this is best example) we have at one point in the film a car driving down the streets of Venice trying to cause an explosion to stop an explosion. I seriously felt overwhelmed but the film. You never know which direction its heading is it serious is it funny is it an action comedy. Now the cgi is next. Some of the special effects i thought were good then we get to finally battle and oh boy the crap hit the fan. So I wouldn't waste my time with this movie not unless you need a laugh.

OHHHH BOY! Last night while sitting on the couch my wife comes to me and says, I want to watch a movie. Of course I am fair game for this notion and since it was her birthday I let her pick. Worst mistake of my life, she picks dirty dancing Havana nights. This film is asstastic and I don't mean that in a good way. OK lets start with the characters, flat, dull, tasteless, stereotypical, pathetic, and just plain bad. That's just not for one person in this movie thats for them all. This movie is mixed bag of garbage, its like my mom dumped the litter box(characters), used tampons (story), then my brother vomits in the same bag(music). I just cant get over the acting, the lead male in this movie is so laughable. At one point I thought he was trying his best SNL tryout for a Cuban impersonation. Now the thing that really grinds my gears are the parents. I just cant get over how stupid they are. The mom plays this uptight rich woman who falls right into ever category that every other rich movie mom falls into. She wants her daughter to screw this other rich kid so her dad can keeps his job. What a selfish bitch. When she discovers that her kid isn't sleeping with the man she wants her too, she slaps the taste out of her mouth. What kind of crazy person is this. Then towards the end of the movie she basically tells her daughter to go sleep with this guy before (spoiler) something happens and they have to leave Cuba. Now the dad this guy beats me up the most. The actor doesn't even try to play the dad figure he basically plays a flat person who's name is dad.The most laughable moment in the whole movie is when he see's his daughter dance with the lead guy and he touches her breasts. He has this look on his face like he just got done watching porn. I am not kidding. The other story that is going on is that president Batista (not the wwe wrestler), is a mean guy who has Cuba in a death grip. Now the lead man and his family are trying to help get Fidel Castro into power. Yeah that worked out well didn't it. THey use this to build a tasteless love story basically of a guy who helps lead in the overthrowing of a government and stealing of a girls vcard. I cant go anymore into this movie if this doesn't turn you away I don't know what will.

There are many questions that can be asked about a movie like this and here are some examples. First why did I rent this. Second why did I bother putting it into my DVD player. Third why didn't i just shut it off before the credits even started. So lets break it down first of all the high points Jennifer aniston is in this movie, and that does it for the high points. I can almost imagine the meeting they had for this movie. Big time movie clerk walks in alright guys we need a new horror movie icon what we got. Come on guys you got to have something ,you yeah you in the back what you got. OK boss its a leprechaun and he's mad because someone has stolen his gold. Sounds good here's 900,000 and get me a director. Yeah that seems right this movie is just tragic, and why do i say that? Because someone could have actually made a good film about an evil leprechaun and people would have watched it but instead we have this beating by way of film. OK he shines shoes and makes things in a garage and the only way you can beat him is with a four leaf clover. The best part was in the final scene when the kid screams F$%k your lucky charms and shoots the clover in his mouth. You know i cant even begin to tell you what happened in the rest of this film because my brain was frozen most of the way through.

OK i understand that Myers was dead and his story was done but even if you didn't put the Halloween label on this movie its still bad. Let's try to visualize the movie OK you got it in your head now take Halloween off of the title and just call it season of the witch. Now does it make the movie any better? No OK i didn't think so. John carpenter tried to do something different and i will give him the credit for that. But lets break this piece of garbage down. First the intro i must admit it had me hooked at the start the chase scene then hospital, i thought OK this is going some where. And you know what i was right it did go somewhere, right to crapper. The only person in this film who i even felt was trying is tom atkins. He gave the movie its best chance to be good and instead his efforts are just shut down. Lets not forget the silly story this Irish guy has control over the whole town because he owns a factory that makes Halloween mask's. Did i mention that they stole stone hinge. So they put the mask on you play a commercial you have a seizure and bugs eat your face. Plus all of the factory workers are robots. This sounds like bad cartoon and basically this is what it is. Its a family guy episode in real life, its comical at some points especially when tom decides hes going to sleep with the female lead. The question is simple where do you want to sleep? that's a stupid question miss whatever the girls name is. Now the music it sounds like robot's got together and had an orgy and forgot to oil themselves properly. So stay away from this garbage that's all i can say

There's a lot of bad movies out there ton's. But they must all be put in separate categories. Big budget,small budget,and no budget. This movie had a huge budget 125 million. OK first with that kind of a budget how in the world could you possibly fail.Well first lets get with the casting. George Clooney is batman. Batman is a dark figure clooney is a good actor but he in no world didn't fit the role so you automatically fail. Arnold Schwarzenegger is Mr.freeze once again another good actor who doesn't fit the role. Mr freeze is doctor and scientist a guy like Patrick Stewart would have been great for this film. But no we cast another guy who doesn't belong. You know im not even going over the rest of the cast because they couldn't get anything right. Once again we find ourselves in this cartoon world that tim burton created. That's a flaw i always had with this movie i understand your trying to give it a comic book feel but that notion died with batman forever.so after all this with thee casting we should have a good film right..............Wrong what we have is time bomb a 125 min time bomb. By the end of this movie your going to wish you would be blown up. The acting is flat and characters insufferable. And last but not least bat nipples and bat credit cards. You have to be joking why is there bat nipples why is there a credit card why is there ice skating what were you thinking. I wouldn't even watch this movie for a good laugh. This movie is one of the worst movies ever and anyone who enjoys this movie should be locked in a closet and forced to watch it over and over and over.

OK first this movie is based on a Stephen king short story. Second a lot of people like Stephen king. Third this movie was basically shat out on a pallet and smeared across a screen. OK first lets go over the movie villain. Its a demonically possessed laundry folding machine. Im going to say that again because i don't feel like your taking the journey with me. Its a demonically possessed laundry folding machine.It doesn't sneak around your house and cut your power it doesn't watch you while you have sex with your girlfriend. You want to know how it kills you. You have to put yourself in the machine........that's right. Tobe hooper just cant get back on track and robert englund, i can expect him to be in this he just likes to act. But who had the idea to try and stretch short story into a movie sometime it works but this no its out of the question. Avoid this please. Im not going to go into any more details because im sure after reading this you will be done.

OK first of all I am a fan of the first three films,and the fourth film was decent. But this film was a nightmare, it moved so slow the characters were just not there. Me and the lead character spent most of the movie feeling the same way confused. I had no clue what was going on and why this was called a hell raiser movie. I myself rewrote the movie the whole time i was watching it. The ending was the only thing that made sense and by the time i got to it i was ready to do what he did at the end put a gun in my mouth. IF your going to call it hell raiser make sure you at least make pinhead the bad guy and there has to be gore. The story would have been good if it moved faster and the supporting cast wasn't so weak no one sold anything in this movie, i found most of the scenes a laugh riot. I forgot this movie was suppose to be scary or a thriller or whatever. i don't know how number 6 is going to be but hopefully it will at least be easy to follow.