Reviews

I'm sure this movie sounded like a good idea on paper. Why else would anyone bother to even attempt to put this mess together? It's pretty apparent that they were going for the whole Willow meets Lord of the Rings meets Kingdom of Heaven meets...you get the point. The end result is pretty abysmal to say the least. I've seen some really bad movies in my day, as I'm sure we all have. In the Name of the King makes a serious push to climb atop "worst movies I ever saw" lists everywhere. Bad story, bad acting, bad special effects, bad costumes, and hell, even the DVD menus suck. For about the first 10 minutes I was actually fooled into believing that this might not be a total train wreck. My optimism soon turned to despair as I got my first look at the evil creatures referred to as The Krug and I cringed for the first time of many as I immediately realized what I had gotten myself into. The Krug are a race of animal warriors but remind me more of villains from Power Rangers and thus lead to laughter every time you see them which I'm sure wasn't the intent of the filmmakers. Unfortunately this was only the beginning of my nightmare. Despite the fact that there is some decent acting talent in the movie, none of them really belong in this movie. I would be very surprised if whoever did the casting on this film still has a job. Burt Reynolds as the King? Ray Liotta as a sorcerer? Matthew Lillard as anything other than the quirky funny guy? The only thing worse than Lillard's horrible English accent is everyone else's complete disregard of one. Even Claire Forlani who is actually from England, decided to forego her natural way of speaking for this role. I guess she didn't want to show anyone up. I have to admit though, it is pretty funny to listen to how out of place Ray Liotta sounds with his Jersey accent in what's supposed to be some medieval time. When it comes to the fight scenes in the movie, they're actually not as bad as everything else, but I guess that's not really saying much. The fights could be pretty entertaining to look at if I could actually see them better. Bad camera angles and quick cuts negate what seemed to be respectable choreography but I guess we'll just have to take their word for it. The story is basically non-existent. If someone told me right now that this movie was 95 percent improvised, I wouldn't be shocked. Actually, I'd probably be a little bit relieved. The movie jumps around scene after scene not really doing or saying anything different from other movies of it's kind and not nearly as good. The dialogue will remind you of a junior high school play and I can probably say this again, not nearly as good. Altogether I'd say you can probably get a more enjoyable story by reading a kid a fairy tale at bed time. As if the movie wasn't bad enough, you really get nothing else on this disc. I don't know if there were different versions of this released but the version I got from Netflix has very poor special features. Then again I guess that's a good thing because once you're done watching this movie you probably don't want any more. Fact is, you're probably gonna want to stick it back in it's envelope, run to your nearest post office and make sure this gets back to them as soon as possible. I would've over nighted the thing to them if I could've. On another side note, this did not come to me in Blu-Ray as most of my movies do. I guess this movie looks so bad that Netflix did not want anyone to see this atrocity in high def. Speaking of Netflix, this teaches me a lesson. I am no longer gonna add everything they recommend to my list, especially when the first 15 to 20 movies in my queue are all on "very long wait." That's how you end up with a movie like this in your mailbox and disappointment in your heart :-( Sorry, veered off the review for a bit. In closing, from the outside looking in this movie might look like it deserves a chance. Epic battles, burning villages, hideous creatures, Burt Reynolds' ninjas (yes, I said Burt Reynolds' ninjas), and tree dwelling lesbians led by Kristanna Loken. Sounds fun but truth is I was looking at the clock the whole time and at the end I wasn't sure if I should be glad it was over or disappointed at the precious two hours of my life that I'll never see again. Honestly, I felt a little of both. If you feel the urge to watch this kind of movie just do yourself a favor and watch one disc of any of the Lord of the Rings movies and get on with your day. In the Name of the King gets half a star out of pity and another half a star just because Jason Statham is so freaking cool, even in this piece of garbage. Best line in the whole movie, "Are you gonna fight, or talk me to death?" So a grand total of one star or if you don't understand the star system, it's really, really bad! Rent at your own risk, buy only if you're 8 years old, stoned, or a really big Dungeons & Dragons fan.