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Reviews
The Road to Singapore (1931)
If Nick Charles Was NOT A Detective
The Road To Singapore is without question a Pre-Code Movie, the scenes involving Philippa Crosby March (Doris Kenyon), and her Sister In-Law, Rene (Marian Marsh) in Hugh Dawltry's (William Powell)home (as well as the ending, which I will not spoil), would not be allowed a few years later. The thing that is interesting is seeing Powell playing Dawltry who although is a cad, essentially is an early version of Nick Charles (complete with his dress, mannerisms, and of course drinking) without the crime aspect to it. When you take Dawltry, and combine him with Philo Vance, you get Nick Charles. The biggest problem with this movie, is something unnecessary.. the drums. I have no idea why Warner Brothers chose to constantly play them in the movie, but they did, and it very much ruins the movie for me. 7 of 10 Stars
High Pressure (1932)
Brent Almost Ruins It
This is number 36 on the William Powell list of movies that I have seen, and if you like Powell, it should be a must see. First and foremost a sales movie, and there are very few people who could actually play Con Man/Sales Motivator Gar Evans and actually make him likable. Besides Powell, they are Gable, Cagney, John Barrymore, Edward G. Robinson and Warren William. Powell who would later play a variation of Gar Evans as Bill Chandler in "Libeled Lady" is perfect in his role, as are most of the supporting cast especially Frank McHugh (Mike Donahey), and an actor I never noticed before, George Sidney (Col. Ginsburg). I also liked Evalyn Knapp who was really beautiful in her role as Helen Wilson. There was one big problem with this movie, and it was Evelyn Brent as Francine Dale. She looked old, tired, and beaten down. Brent who was 33 when this came out, looked like she was about 50. I have seen six other Brent movies (Including "Interference" with Powell), and this is the worst she looked. She looked especially weak when compared to Powell and the much older George Sidney, both of whom had much more energy then he did. Spoilers Ahead: How and why, Powell wanted to and (ended up with) her I will never know, they had no chemistry together. This movie would have been a classic if Knapp or, need I mention, Myrna Loy would have been Francine. Still I give it eight of ten stars, despite Brent.
Tide of Empire (1929)
Renee Adore
This is an excellent movie, and the third time I saw Renee Adore ('The Big Parade' & (my favorite) 'The Mating Call' being the others). The first thing I need to comment on was the comments section. 1: Someone said there is almost no comedy in the movie. Spoilers Ahead: Indeed there was such as when the "Judge" (talk about a loose definition of the Title), was putting outlaw Cannon (Fred Kohler),on trial with his gang, and when asked how do you plead and Cannon Said "Not Guilty.' and the "Judge" condemned him for lying. Then before hanging (a lynch mob mentality if there ever was one) "Do You have anything to say?' "Not that it will do you any good." 2: It was about misjudging the character of Josephita Guerrero (Renee Adore), and why Dermond D'Arcy (Tom Keene), would do whatever is necessary to win her love. Keep in mind, this is Renee Adore, one of the most beautiful women in Motion Picture History, so what guy would not try? Besides that, she is not a bad person at all, remember she has lived a very Aristocratic life, so she thinks that everyone is beneath her. By the way, one that essentially coming to an end because of gold, and the fact that her father Don Guerrero (George Fawcett), and especially her brother Romualdo (William Collier Jr.), are weak men who lose money on gambling: The father on a horse race, and Romualdo losing the father's money that he got for selling sheep, betting on cock fights. The fact the father had to sell his sheep, should be a clue that the family was living above their means. Can Dermond, win her love? Of course, because she learns how much he is willing to sacrifice everything for her. Including his prize horse (the one that won the race, that her father bet on (her father said "A good horse is worth more than gold")). What he does is save Romualdo from hanging (he became an outlaw with Cannon), by cutting his ropes, and telling him to punch him and take my horse, and Romualdo tells him to "Take care of my sister." As he gets away, they finally kiss. Is this a flawless movie? No the sound effects like the rooster crowing were not good. But the ending which you would NOT see later once the Production Code came into effect (Romualdo getting away), and of course, just looking at Renee Adore makes it worthwhile to watch. 9/10 stars.
Cypher (2002)
Tricky
I really liked this movie despite NOT liking Sci-Fi or Lucy Liu. This is a very interesting film, with lots of tricks involved, but Love overcoming all. Spoilers Ahead: It is where Jeremy Northam plays two very different roles: Uber Spy Sebastian Rooks, and average person, Morgan Sullivan. Rooks has himself brainwashed into believing that he is Sullivan, so he could infiltrate and steal computer software from two companies named Digicore and its rival Sunways Systems. These two companies with that software, basically can brainwash people into believing anything. His real goal was to get the power for himself, and sell it to the highest bidder. One actress that I cannot stand is Lucy Liu (except in this movie), she plays a Femme Fatale named Rita Grant, who you have no idea is out to help or hurt him (of course, you find out she is his only ally)). I like he way you see Northam go from weak businessman to much stronger person (even his face changes), as the Rooks Character starts to take over. To me, the most interesting part of the movie, was the final several minutes, where Rooks set things up to kill the Heads of Security at both Companies, and even created a program where he (as Sullivan), is supposed to "Kill Rita Grant With Extreme Prejudice." The way the movie ends is that although the Sullivan Identity shoots her, he cannot kill her, and although Rooks still some of the characteristics of his previous life (drinking fine whiskey and smoking (which is what Sullivan did not do)), it is the Sullivan Identity (the one who loves Rita), that takes over. In fact, on a sailboat, both Rita and Rooks/Sullivan see the disk that gave that order that "Sullivan" could not carry out, because the "Power Of Love" was Greater. 9/10 stars
Seven Psychopaths (2012)
Horrible
I wish I could find something besides the Shih Tzu, that was actually likable about this movie. Basically the only movie I disliked more than this movie was "Machete." I did not find it the least bit funny, and I like Sam Peckinpah movies so I have a strong stomach for violence, and harsh language, provided of course, there is a reason for it, such as "Running Scared", "2 Days In The Valley" or "True Romance" Naturally, the worst part of the movie (spoilers ahead), is the ending where the cops just let Marty (Colin Farrell), retrieve a tape recorder from the murdered, Hans (Christopher Walken) because he was a friend. Give me a break, anyone ever hear of a crime scene? Not to mention how does the dog end up with him? The worst is that stupid killer with the rabbit, who calls Marty at the end and goes away? What was the entire point? Without question ZERO Stars.
Love for Rent (2005)
Angie Cepeda And Marita Roca Are Knockouts
The only reasons to watch this movie are the women. Angie Cepeda who is simply a knockout (as is her Cousin Monica( Martita Roca)) and if Angie was not in just about every scene, the movie would be unwatchable. Its about Sofia (Angie) a Colombian Student, who in order to remain in this country makes some very bad decisions like marrying someone for a Green Card (who is a crook and robs her of everything), and being a Surrogate Mother to a Wealthy Couple for $50,000. Of course, being its a Romantic Comedy, she ends up not paying a severe price for them. Although to be honest, the movie is not funny (more like a light drama) Why? Because there were no funny scenes in the movie except those involving the Orphan Kid Max, and one elevator scene with Sofia and her true love, Dr. Neil Gardner (Ken Marino), who knows how to make her laugh, with a telephone. Spoilers Ahead: Of course, Sofia and Neil end up married, and adopt Max, and live happily ever after. How Angie did not become a big star in this Country? No idea, she is a knockout. 7/10 Stars.
The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Bruce Willis's Best Film
I am a huge Bruce Willis fan, I have seen almost film he ever made, even obscure Titles like "Lucky Number Slevin" and "Breakfast Of Champions" and this movie has everything you could possibly want in an movie, including his best performance. It starts with Writer Shane Black, Producer Joel Silver and Director Tony Scott, including the opening where Bill Medley sings "Friday Night's A Great Night For Football." Where should I start? Lets look at his ex Secret Service Agent turned Private Eye Joe Hollenback. Hallenback was the most abused PI since the days of "Harry O's" Harry Orwell (David Janssen), and Jim Rockford (James Garner), characters that obviously were inspirations because you actually see Joe Santos (Becker), playing Hallenback's only friend Bessalo (in a similar friend/Cop role that he played on the "Rockford Files.") What does he have to deal with? Utter disrespect from everyone around him, including his wife Sarah (Chelsea Field), sleeping with the corrupt, woman beating Senator Baynard (Chelcie Ross), who got him fired from the Secret Service, for breaking his nose. By the way this would be repeated the next year, in "Live Wire" where Danny O'Neill (Pierce Brosnan), has exactly the same issue (including O'Neill having to try and save Corrupt Senator Frank Traveres, like Hallenback must do here. For as Jimmy Dix (Damon Waynas) said "I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that f--ked your wife." Even his daughter Darian(Danielle Harris) has no love or respect for him. Throw in the mob, crooked Football Team Owner, Sheldon Marcone (Noble Willingham), alcoholism, and suffering constant physical abuse, and you know that he has issues. Of course, he has plenty of One Liners that would make John McClane ("Die Hard") blush. Including (Spoilers ahead) a scene involving Darian, Dix, who becomes his reluctant partner, a psychotic hit man named Milo (Taylor Negron), the mob, and a puppet, that is a classic. The funny thing is Hallenback has the LEAST amount of issues here. Spoilers: For example: Dix has a Coke problem and his girlfriend Halle Berry is a Prostitute who gets murdered at the orders of Marcone. Does Hallenback win in the end? Of course, check out his "Stadium Dance" and final battle against Milo, but how he does it is something to behold. Also what Dix does to Senator Baynard are Classics, of course, the "Puppet Scene" that I will not spoil. a very easy 10/10 Stars.
The Lost Squadron (1932)
Von Stroheim's Film
The main reason to watch this movie is Erich Von Stroheim as Von Furst, he basically steals every single scene is in, and (spoilers) when he gets his you cheer. I like the Aviation scenes as well, and how "The Lost Squadron" portrays the difficulty of four servicemen returning home. Another standout is Dorothy Jordan as "The Pest." (the Sister of one of the Airmen Woody (Robert Armstrong)). The biggest complaint is about Mary Astor, who is the former love interest of Woody (Richard Dix), who gives it all up for Hollywood. Oddly enough, the exact opposite of Jordan, who did it for Producer Merian C. Cooper. This actress does nothing for me, and never did, and her disappearing act at the end does not help either. Was not a big fan of Joel McRae's (Red) in this movie either, a very weak character, who (spoilers)is the only one of the Airmen to survive (and ends up with "The Pest"). 8/10 Stars. It would be 10 without Astor & McRae.
Night Nurse (1931)
Excellent Pre-Code Movie
This is a Pre-Code movie where bootlegging gangster Mortie (Ben Lyon), is actually more ethical than anyone in the entire movie, except of course, Lora Hart (Barbara Stanwyck). Spoilers ahead: You see that when Lora is trying to save two little girls from being poisoned to death, the only one who really helps her is Mortie, who knows what she is about by taking a bullet out of him, and not reporting the shooting to the police (at risk of her job). However, this movie is a must see to see Clark Gable (Nick the chauffeur), playing the most evil role of his career. There are others where he is a bad guy ("Manhattan Melodrama", "A Free Soul" & "The Painted Desert" come to mind (he was not too nice in "San Francisco" or "Sporting Blood" either), but NOWHERE was he outright sinister, like in this movie, and I liked the fact that he got knocked off. Gable is the main reason to see this movie, but Stanwyck is not far behind. There is one scene, where Nick punches out Lora, and later on, you see a bandage on her chin. It makes you think that yes, it was Barbara not a stunt double that took the punch from Gable, that is how tough Stamwyck was. The ending is quite interesting because of why Lora & Mortie ended up together: They knew the other was strong enough to do so.
Sporting Blood (1931)
A Must See
Is this a perfect film? No, you do not see Clark Gable for the first 40 minutes of the film, it is really about "Miss Ruby (Madge Evans), and what she must do to get "Tommy Boy" her beloved horse from various owners, the worst of which are the Ludeking's (Angie & Bill), played by Marie Provost (who had one of, if not the most Horrible Hollywood fates in History) & Hallam Cooley. The horse, is used by them as a tool to make money in bets until it is broken down. Eventually Angie (the worst one), leaves Bill after he ends up in debt to gangsters (they promised wins to the gangsters), and he knows he will get killed over that. But, Ruby is able to convince Bill to do the right thing, and give "Tommy Boy" to her. They bought the horse from Owner/Trainer (Jim Rellence) Ernest Torrence, for $40,000, so he could save his stable. Of course, the goal is to return the horse to health so he can run in (and hopefully win), the Kentucky Derby, which of course, he does. Gable is interesting to watch as Gangster Warren 'Rid' Riddell (in his first starring role), and after Ruby asks why are you doing this (helping her and 'Tommy Boy")he utters a famous line that is still with us today: "Tommy Boy deserves a New Deal." Of course, being that it is Pre-Code, 'Rid' does end up with Ruby at the end, which is quite different then what happened Gangster Blackie Gallagher (another 'Decent' Gangster) in "Manhattan Melodrama" in 1934, AFTER the Code was put into place. Very highly recommended for Gable, the horse, and a very beautiful Madge Evans.
Getaway (2013)
Not The Worst Film I Ever Saw
This is basically "Fast And The Furious", "Saw" and "Taken 2" rolled into one, and sad to say, it does not come close to those movies. Strangely enough it is "The Kid" (Selena Gomez), who does the acting here, and is the only character you actually care about.. Ethan Hawke (Brent Magna) who I never cared for as an actor (especially in "Reality Bites"), basically looks and acts the same throughout the film. You would think there would be anger and desperation from someone who had their wife kidnapped? From my perspective his wife Leanne (Rebecca Budig) is someone you cannot care if she lives or dies. (unlike say Famke Janssen in "Taken 2"). I do not think "Getaway" is that brutal, and perhaps its only because I saw plenty of WORSE movies than this, and because of Selena Gomez, I give it a very generous 3 of 10 stars.
Flypaper (2011)
Tricky Film
If anyone likes fun and intelligent movies this is for you. It about Tripp Kennedy (Patrick Dempsey), who is a very neurotic person who walks into the bank to get change (a lot of change), and meets teller Kaitlin, and notices two things: Number One: She had wedding presents with her. Two: The bank was going to be robbed. Of course, he had no idea that TWO bank robberies would occur at the same time, by two very different sets of robbers. One were Rednecks with the nicknames of "Peanut Butter & Jelly" and the other were more sophisticated robbers (One was Jewish, the other British, and the last one African American). Of course, it turns out that Tripp, is a Sherlock Holmes type genius with an incredible attention to detail. Spoilers Ahead: What he figures out is besides the Robberies, there are other crimes involved, including a plan straight out of Agatha Christie's "10 Little Indians" is to knock off everyone in the bank by the top bank robber in the Country, Vicellus Drum, and no one is exactly who and what they seem (Including Kaitlin (which he lets her know about halfway through the movie)). Of course, (spoilers ahead), Tripp does end up with Kaitlin, but how he gets there,and finding out who is really Drum, and who survives and in some cases, actually thrives (besides Tripp), are what make this movie a lot of fun. 10/10 stars.
Dead Man Down (2013)
Good Movie
Is "Dead Man Down" a great movie? No but it is a very one. I think of this particular quote from "The Godfather" "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold." What it means is this: Old saying from the Mafiosi in Sicily. Tells that the best payback is the one that comes with planning, and that brings the most horrendous pain to your enemies when they are not expecting and are just enjoying the fruits of all the dishonor they brought upon you. One must wait so he can really inflict pain to those who wronged him. Careful planning is necessary so your enemies will suffer terribly, but you won't be harmed by the Law or by your enemies' allies. (Urban Dictionary). This is exactly what Victor (Colin Farrell), has in store for psychopathic Gang Leader Alphonse (Terrence Howard), and his bunch of thugs who were responsible for the death of his daughter and the murder of his wife. It is so well thought out that he actually saves the life of the man he wants kill (and of course, by doing that he infiltrates the gang). He ends up meeting Beatrice (Noomi Rapace) who blackmails him into killing the drunk driver who disfigured her. What ends up happening though is through fate and luck (there is a Rabbit's Foot of Beatrice's that plays a huge role throughout the movie), these two eventually fall in love, and spoilers ahead: Are what allow them to psychologically, mend. There is one scene where after Victor beats up (but does not kill) the man who disfigured her, he admits it, and Beatrice says "I still love you." Then when Beatrice is captured by his friend Darcy (Dominic Cooper), and brought to Alphonse, and Alphonse gets a call from Victor saying "I am coming." Alphonse says "Are you coming for me" Victor says "No, I am coming for her." A key scene is where after Victor kills a bunch of bad guys he could have killed Darcy but spares him. So at the very end after he rescues Beatrice, and Alphonse and the rest die (and of course, Victor retrieves the Rabbit's Foot), he is confronted by Darcy with a gun, and Darcy asks "Did you spare me, because I have a wife and kid?' And Victor says "No, because they have you." It is worth noting that Darcy had nothing to do with the murder of Victor's wife (he joined the gang later). But the power of love which first saved Beatrice, then Victor, also saved Darcy, so Darcy could go home to is family (one more point about Darcy, he is a very intelligent person who is good at figuring things out (he even compares himself to the TV Detective Lt. Columbo), so you know he realizes how lucky he was and will be okay), while Victor and Beatrice were able to walk away, and kiss on the subway, and start their lives over together. 9/10 stars
Little Darlings (1980)
I Remember It Well
This is a film I know very well, despite not seeing it in years. For those who want to know why "Little "Darlings not been released on DVD, there for two reasons. 1: It's because it is a Paramount Picture and Paramount has basically given up their DVD rights to films they made post 1949 to Warner Home Video ( the earlier talking films are all owned by Universal) except for what they call " Legacy Films" such as "The Godfather" and "Star Trek." 2: It is an extremely dated film ( what we know about Kristy McNiichol (Angel) and Tatum O''Neill Ferris) is very much opposite the characters they play in this movie). What it is about is two very different teenage girls ( although both are very tough ( watch Feris on the bus with Angel and you will see what I mean), Angel is the one with the poor chain smoking mother from the wrong side of the tracks, and Ferris, with the wealthy dad, whose mom abandoned both of them. The two of them cannot stand each other, and there is a bet to see who loses their virginity first: Angel with a boy named Randy ( Matt Damon), or Ferris to a camp worker named Gary ( Armand Assante). There are also several other girls involved with the bet ( including Sunshine ( a very young Cynthia Nixon) and very nasty Cinder ( Krista Errickson ( a dead on look alike for Brooke Shields)). Each girl claimed that they had sex ( of course, only Cinder did). Spoilers ahead: Ferris says she did, but she is lying ( which no one really knows but Angel who really did). The movie ends with Sunshine punching Cinder in the nose, and she is angry because it could cost her modeling career. Then Angel says to her mom, " You are not getting any younger and I have to take care of you." Then she introduces her to " Ferris Whitney best friend. " and she puts her arm around her as the movie ends and they play "The Bellamy a Brothers" Let Your Love Flow." It is not spelled out but it is highly inferred, that Amanda and her mom will be going home with Mr. Whitney ( because he is really lost without his wife, and needs someone to help with Ferris), and Angel and Ferris have become like sisters, so they cannot be separated. will not enjoy the movie as much as I did when I was a kid, because of what I have learned about both Tatum and Kristy , but based on what I remember and I remember it very well, it gets 9 of10 stars
The Last Stand (2013)
The Stars Are The Weak Spot
I am a big Arnold Schwarzenegger fan, so it goes without saying I expected better, than this Modern Day Western. This is an extremely predictable film, you knew who lives, who dies, who is the mole, and why. The weakest elements are Sheriff Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger), who looks he has had one too many battles (he left the LAPD because he had enough), and Lewis Dinkham (Johnny Knoxville)a gun freak who owns every of gun known to man. The real stars are Eduardo Noreiga as Gabriel Cortez, a vicious Mexican Drug Lord into fast cars, and taunting the FBI, and Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker), who is trying to capture him. Of course, it comes down to Ray, Deputies Mike Figuerola (Luis Guzman), Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander) & Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford), along with Dinkham, and Sarah's ex to save the Town against Cortez and the gang who was assisting him. Spoilers ahead: it should have shocked no one that Bailey dies, Sarah's ex takes his place, and it comes down to Ray versus Cortez, and he drags him in like a dog. the only difference is he did in a beat up car instead of on a horse. The funny thing is everyone basically lost (either killed or wounded), except Sarah and her Ex who got back together again, and he even took Bailey's place as Deputy. The reasons to watch are Bannister, and especially Cortez, who is one of the nastier characters you will ever see on film. 5/10 stars.
Uptown Girls (2003)
Brittney Murphy
This is actually a hard review to write, because of what happened to Brittney Murphy. I saw "Uptown Girls" years ago, on cable, and thought this is a movie that cries for a remake, because the story had possibilities, but the star (Murphy) and the ending ruined it (I did like it better than "Little Black Book" (which I also forgot about, but remember really disliking)). But, I read a lot of positive reviews of "Uptown Girls" (and I heard about the sad story involving Ms. Murphy), so I thought it was worth checking out again, so I watched the final half hour of this film again. Sad to say, I was right the first time and when it seemed like Ms. Murphy (Molly) was basically sick and on drugs throughout the film (the thick black mascara is something you think of seeing on football players, not on a beautiful woman ( also the much older Heather Locklear was better looking in the film)). Spoilers ahead: But beyond that, it seems like there was an abrupt ending to the movie, from Coney Island, to the interview, to the funeral, to the play where Ray (Dakota Fanning (the best one in the movie)), Neal, and the other girls put on the ballet for "Molly" (Speaking of "Molly" that song was brutal). Does it mean that I am right about her, being sick and there was drug use during "Uptown Girls", and it affected the film? No, but when you hear that she died of pneumonia, anemia and drug intoxication (and her husband died the same way),and the fact that her "A" Film career ended so quickly, it makes you think there is something to it. Which is why it is hard to write a review that is both honest ( Except for Dakota Fanning, I did not like the movie), but not trashing Britney Murphy in the process (because she was not a bad person). Basically another very sad Hollywood Story, and since her body of work was not that great (say unlike Marilyn Monroe or Jean Harlow), I cannot watch another Brittney Murphy movie again.
Lebanon, Pa. (2010)
Watch For Rachel Kitson
It is an okay film, nothing special. The one thing I do not think it is preachy. ( this from. a Conservative who is not into Liberal message movies). Why? Because none of the characters in the film are exactly of a high moral standard and that certainly includes Vicki ( Samantha Mathis), Spoilers Ahead: CJ's ( Rachel Kitson), teacher who drives her to have an Abortion. Why? She cheated on her husband with CJ's Uncle Will. If it was preachy she would be a paragon of virtue or something like that. It does not matter it is is Will, his brother ( who rejected CJ), the kids in the School, CJ, her b/f or anyone else, no one looks very good. Perhaps the biggest flaw of the movie, is there is no character growth ( except Will); who is a complete jerk throughout the film, but does one thing right which is take CJ in, and then with him when he left town ( he was under no obligation to do so). CJ is by far the best character in the film ( no idea why Rachael Kitson never did another film), and there is hope for her and Will at the end of the movie. She is going to an elite University in Philadelphia, and Will will have to face responsibility for the first time in his life, by having to take care of a teenage girl. The others will simply amount to nothing 3 of 10 stars. All of them for Rachel Kitson
NCIS: Los Angeles (2009)
Not As Good As NCIS
What is unusual about this show is that the two stars, Chris O'Donnell (Callen), and LL Cool J (Sam) are not the reasons the show. They are Hettie (Linda Hunt), and especially the relationship between Kensi (Daniela Ruah) and Marty Deeks (Eric Christian Olsen). The Kensi/Deeks relationship is what Tony/Ziva could have been if Ziva was not such a nasty b---h (for that reason I detested Ziva). It is very obvious that Kensi is someone who has serious trust and daddy issues (we learned that when we met her mom), and Deeks is the exact opposite, someone who like Tony DiNozzo, comes from a Police (not Military) background, and who is usually the butt of jokes, but is underneath it all, is the smartest one of the team. Note: Interesting enough, it is Deeks (and Callen, who she has an almost mother/son relationship with) who she is closest with. I think the reason is, he is like her, not as talented, but gets by because of superior people skills (most of all can get people to laugh). If anyone sees a film called "Say Anything" where Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), ends up with beautiful genius Diane Court (Ione Skye), you will see an example of this. Kensi, is very much like Diane perfect in every way, looks (hottest woman on TV), ability, intelligence, you name it, basically every guy's fantasy girl, but Deeks will end up with her, because like Lloyd, he will outwork everyone for her, and never stop at it. Who knows that most of all? Hettie, because that is what she does. Basically 5/10 stars for those three Characters
The Sitter (2011)
Bad Remake
Let's start with the good news, there is a good performance in "The Sitter" That of Roxanne ( Kylie Bunbury). Bad news: That is it. First off this movie IS a raunchy, offensive, predictable movie, complete with every character from the gay kid with identity issues, to fat the kid, to the violent Hispanic to the streetwise Black people, all of which you expect to see in a bad movie with no thought behind it. It might be the worst remake I have ever seen ( In this case, "Adventures In a Babysitting") and as someone who has seen that movie multiple times I would know. It goes without saying that a bit fat slob like Jonah Hill ( Noah Griffith) is not hot like Elisabeth Shue ( Chris Parker), but the kids are inferior ( particularly comparing Sara ( Maia Brewton)), to nasty Kardashian like Sister Blithe Padilla ( Landry Bender), who is essentially a Bratz Doll. Her gay brother was even more obnoxious ( these kids should be watched by Dr. Phil not a babysitter). Where else can I go? You can spot each and every scene where the film steals a shot from "Adventures In Babysitting" like where Roxanne returns the electronic piece to Blithe ( just like what was done with Sara's skate in "Adventures In a Babysitting."). By the way you can spot about 20 such scenes. Particularly bad is how the butchered the "Babysitting Blues" scene. Another thing they did was basically combine Brenda ( Penelope Ann Miller), with Chris's arrogant cheating b/f ( the one who Daryl ( Anthony Rapp), gave a swift kick to in the restaurant), and created Marissa ( Ari Graynor), who seemed like she is stoned throughout the entire movie. Spoiler Ahead: Jonah does end up with Roxanne in the end, like Chris does with the college student who returned the skate in "Adventures In Babysitting" but why I have no idea? He is pathetic and crude and she is classy and intelligent. Basically I give 1/2 star for Roxanne and that is being generous.
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Should have won the Oscar
There is one thing that most people who have seen LA Confidential can agree on it should have beaten out Titanic as Best Picture of the year. The performances are flawless, obviously Kim Basinger as Lynn Bracken was the Standout ( winning the Oscar), but so was everyone else. The unusual Thing is there is really is only one good guy in the movie which was "Bud" White ( Russell Crowe), who although a violent person was decent and heroic. I go back to to what Lynn said to Lieutentent Exley ( Guy Pearce). " you're afraid of Bud because you can't figure out how to play him. He doesn't follow the same rules of politics as you do . It makes him dangerous. I see Bud because I want to. I see But because he can't hide the good inside of him. I see Bud because he makes me feel like Lynn Bracken and not some Veronica Lake look-alike who f---s for money. I see Bud because he doesn't know how to disguise who he is. I see Bud for all the ways he is different from you." Spoilers Ahead: Another difference, is he takes bullets for Exley, when the corrupt Captain Dudley Smith ( James Cromwell), tried to kill him. Another difference is Exley shot Smith in the back ( instead of arresting him or at least looking him in the eye, which of course, is cowardly). Smith, is really the worst one of all who wanted to take over the drug trade, and murdered fellow Police Officer Jack Vincennes ( Kevin Spacey), in his own home. Other miserable characters are the deep in the closet, DA, blackmailer Sid Hudgens ( Danny DeVito), and every other character except Bud and Lynn. The ending apparently said it all where the Crooked Smith and the murderous Exley are made out to look like heroes and as Lynn put perfectly " some men get the world ( Exley), and others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona ( White)."However, I am not so sure that Exley won, because " And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your soul?" ( Mark: 8:36). I think White was the winner because he was at least able to get to Arizona with Lynn. Is she perfect? No but she does love him, and he was able to not only survive ( unlike Smith and others), but can at least look at himself in the mirror ( unlike Exley). Basically this film is a masterpiece that should have won the Oscar. 10/10 Stars
Escape from Fort Bravo (1953)
Even Better Than before
I had written a review of this film under a different variation of my name, but I watched it again, and learned a few things that I missed, so I am reposting and adding. What I missed was perceptive the character of Campbell (William Demerest who played Uncle Charlie from "My Three Sons") was. His remarks to fellow Confederate Soldier Cabot Young (William Campbell) were priceless. Like when Young asked him about old men fighting the war, and he said "Because you young men are losing it." Or when he said "Just go to sleep, I will wake you up when you are dead." Spoilers Ahead: He knew he would not survive, nor would Young (check out how they died together, at the hands of Indians). I do not think it was any accident about how linked the characters were (the name "Campbell" or the word and name "Young" were not there but accident). You could look at this as a father and son relationship or the Confederacy losing to the Union (or both). They were supposed to be comedic, but there were serious messages hidden in the comedy (messages I missed). As far as the main character, Capt. Roper is concerned, it certainly helped having William Holden in the lead. Holden excelled at Westerns ("The Wild Bunch", "Alvarez Kelly", "Streets of Laredo", "The Horse Soldiers" & "The Man From Colorado" to name a few), as he did in almost every film he was in. This film is no different. What makes it work is the complexity of the character Capt. Roper (an interesting name for a jailer (and again no. This is a man who is as tough as nails, and makes Javert (From Les Miserables), or Lt. Gerard (from "The Fugitive") seem like normal people, the way he hunts down Confederate Prisoners like animals (Like he did with Bailey (John Lupton)). Note: Even the name Roper is an interesting name for a jailer and how he captures escaped prisoners (and again not done by accident). Yet, underneath it all, there is a very different person. He does stuff like grow roses "Roper's Roses" that would be unexpected from such a hard a**. I love the relationship between him and Carla Forester (Eleanor Parker), who is very much like him (putting love and happiness last (but unlike Roper, does not know it)). She is a Confederate Spy who is engaged to Capt. Marsh (John Forsythe), and breaks him out of the stockade, and goes with him, not because she wants to, but because of duty and obligation. Marsh, who is the other major character in the film, is another very interesting character, he (like Campbell) seems to know that things will not work out the way he planned. Spoilers ahead. He knows that Carla really belongs to Roper, like when he had to snap at her to go with him when he and the other Confederate Soldiers escaped, and when after a fight and he was mortally wounded, he told Roper that Carla fell in love with him, and she only did her duty (Helping them escape). Finally he died with a smile on his face when Bailey (The only Confederate soldier to survive), ending up learning from Roper & Marsh how to be a hero, by escaping the Indians, and instead of running away, like he did earlier, he went back to the fort, and brought back the soldiers to save Roper, Carla, and Lt. Beecher (Richard Anderson), who was the only other survivor (interesting that Campbell somehow knew that would happen?). He also knew that Roper was the right person for Carla, because of his willingness to sacrifice himself for her and Beecher (When he went out to face the Indians alone, just before the Calvary showed up).
Now in real life, it would be logical to assume that Carla would be Court Martialed and imprisoned for being a spy (they wound not hang a woman back in those days), and Bailey would be returned to the POW Camp to wait out the Civil War's end. But you get the feeling that since they were far from Washington, Col. Owens (a very wise, decent and humane Commander), would let Bailey go home (as a reward for saving Roper and especially Beecher (who married his Daughter, Alice)), and since no Union Soldiers died in the escape, he will probably let Carla go as well. Why? He never liked Roper's harsh tactics, and Roper might be even harsher to prisoners (or simply stops doing his job) if Carla is locked up, so why not simply let her go (provided Roper goes far away with her?). By freeing both Bailey and Carla (and taking Roper out of the equation), he can create a better POW Camp for everyone involved (certainly the Rebel POW's will appreciate that act, and Owens may need their help with the Indians down the line). Basically in the end, Roper goes from a "Roper" to being "Roped BY her" and like Bailey, is able to erase his personal demons, by physically and psychologically "Escaping From Fort Bravo." I really love this movie, and it deserves my highest praise 10/10
The Golden Gate Murders (1979)
Janssen's send off
If you have ever seen a Janssen performance be it Richard Kimball ( "The Fugitive") or Harry Orwell ( " Harry O"), or even Arnold Rothstein ( "King Of The Roaring Twenties"), you know his characters always seem to suffer and suffer, and gets constantly beaten up and beaten down. His Detective Paul Silver is not much different then the ones that I mentioned, So it is nice to see him end up with Sister Benecia( Susannah York) at the end of the film ( keep in mind, it is Janssen so he has to go through a lot to do so ( I will not spoil it)). What I like about the film is how intelligent ( despite being tired of life) they were and how despite being of different Worlds ( he is a San Francisco Cop she is a South African Nun), they were able to get to know each other and work through their differences so that after solving the murder of a Priest together ( which was the plot device to bring them together), they end up together. The reality is that was the best possible conclusion, because neither Silver or Sister Benecia were happy with their lives, and they could not properly serve their chosen master( and although the entities are quite different ( San Francisco and God), servants were what they were). In addition, it is fair to say that God wants people to serve him to the best of our ability ( which is what they did by allowing the Priest to receive a proper burial ( by proving he was murdered), and by making the killer pay for his crime). The point was that God knows what the best thing is for people (even if we don't), and for Her its not to be a Nun anymore, because her heart is not in it like before, and his job is to "Protect And Serve" and having her around will allow him to fulfill the "Protect" part of his job better). Basically they needed each other and to become happy ( that is what the plane speech was all about). 10/10 Stars. A great way for Janssen's career to end.
The Meanest Men in the West (1974)
Awful
The single thing that really makes this film bad is the editing ( which might be the worst I have ever seen). You can actually spot where this film is spliced together from two episodes of "The Virginian" You can even tell how James Drury aged from the Lee Marvin scenes to the Charles Bronson scenes. Not to mention (spoilers ahead) the stupid abrupt ending , where you have no idea if Harge Talbot (Bronson) kills his brother Kalig (Marvin) or not. Of course, Marvin's character was originally named Martin Kalig, not Kalig Talbot ( see what a little IMD research can do?). There is only one reason to watch this film, and that is Bronson, who must have given an excellent performance in the original episode, because he actually looks good here ( or is it, because everyone else ( especially Marvin) looks so bad?). Perhaps the best way to see Bronson (if you are a Bronson Completist which is the only reason to see it), is look for the original episode or if you must watch this film, reverse what the editors did..... Zap through every scene not featuring Bronson or his wife. 1 star
Mr. Baseball (1992)
One Of The Best Sports Films Ever
I simply cannot understand how anyone dislikes this film. One element that never gets discussed, is the brilliant Jerry Goldsmith music at the end of the movie (it should have won an Oscar). The real standout performance belongs to Ken Takakura ( also known as the Clint Eastwood of Japan), who plays the Dragon Manager Uchiyama, and his relationship with both arrogant American Jack Elliott ( Tom Selleck), and his daughter, Hiroko ( Aya Takanshi). He is a very traditional Japanese man who underneath it all has a huge heart ( like when he admits to Jack that it is he who selected Jack and basically put himself on the line, and did not ban Hiroko from dating Jack ( an absolute no, no in Japan), and he was the one who got Hiroko and Jack back together). Spoilers ahead: I love the last sports related scenes of the movie where Jack has become very much like Uchiyama, by bunting with the bases loaded, and putting them the team ahead of I, and when he is in Spring Training with the Detroit Tigers ( Selleck is a huge Tigers fan), and a younger player calls him "Chief" ( that is what he called Uchiyama), and he said " It is okay, call me chief." He basically has become Uchiyama ( he even has Hiroko with him). Hiroko is a very interesting character as well. You get the idea that she dates Jack as a way to teach him a lesson, and to stick it to her father as well ( the scene where Jackk and Uchiyama find out the truth, and she sticks it to both of them comes to mind, as does the final scene where Uchiyama goes to her apartment ( obviously for the first time), and intervenes for Jack and she says how alike Jack and her father are and will never change. She also points out " he is a foreign ballplayer." ) and Uchiyama says " who you are in love with." She never believed that Jack would actually be willing to take her when he left, and her father would actually allow him to do so. The funny thing of course, is Jack is very much like her dad ( but underneath it all in a good way, that she did not realize) and its maybe the very reason why she loves him ( although she would never admit it).. Basically one of the best sports films ever. 10/10 Stars
The Jazz Singer (1980)
Watch For Arnez, The Music & Ending
This is the rare movie to watch for the music alone (although Lucie Arnez as Molly Bell was good). The ending with Neil Diamond singing "America" with Arnez and Laurence Olivier in the audience is the best scene in the film. There is a lot of discussion Neil Diamond's portrayal of Jess Robin / Yussel Rabinovitch and Lawrence Olivier as Cantor Rabinovitch (most of not too good (such as Diamond "Winning" a Razzie)). No one in their right mind would identify the Olivier of "The Jazz Singer" with his performances in "Hamlet", "Rebecca", "Wuthering Heights, or "Richard III." But I have seen worse performances....... A LOT worse. What disturbs me is the reviews of this film, who give it zero or one star, while praising the music. What makes a film warrant zero or one star is a film that has nothing redeeming about it (the last film, I reviewed "Damsels In Distress" is an example of that). I am a notorious hater of musicals (this film is probably in my top three musicals ever, and it still only gets five/ten stars from me, that is how much I dislike them). The formula is simple: 1 Star for Arnez, 1 star for the Music and 3 for the incredible ending.