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TheDeaDGuY
Reviews
Spawn (1997)
Meh...
Was it entirely worthless? No. It had some cool visual effects, but it's nothing, at all, compared to the HBO special cartoon, which again was absolutely nothing compared to the Comics.
The Violator, even in the cartoon, is one of the most evil characters ever, in this movie he tosses out a bunch of fart jokes and idiocy. Seeing him reduced to a sideshow was really irking. The foam/rubber/whatever demon incarnation of him was so cheap it was laughable. These are not the makings of a "True denizen of hell, something no Spawn will ever be."
All in all, it was mostly a graphics sideshow, and a way to introduce kids ( for some twisted reason, because *nothing* else about Spawn is at all geared toward anyone under the age of 18, except maybe a couple of crappy games ) to Spawn.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Easily the best comedy of our time.
I will never forget this film. It's a master work of our director, Terry Gilliam, one of the many men behind Monty Python which conspired to made that act great and infamous.
I know there are people out there who will disagree with me, probably running up into the millions. I'll say this about them though, all of the people I've watched this movie with who haven't liked it, have all been either pretty sheltered, or were not the sharpest knives in the box. Not to say there aren't intelligent and experienced people out there who dislike it, for whatever reason, but I'm betting the asshats are in the majority of the nay-sayers.
I won't ruin anything about this film in my commentary here, because a lot of the jokes will take explaining to some degree. I will say this, if you haven't seen this film, and especially if you don't know who Hunter Thompson is, you are missing out on people and events which may eventually wind up in our history books.
10/10 - One of my favorite movies of all time.
Resident Evil (2002)
Mostly mediocre
I've seen true crap, and this isn't it. It's enjoyable, at times, but at other times all the obviously-plastic props and rotten 'action' sequences are just infuriating.
The reviews for this movie are all completely off-base as well. I pity people who claim this movie is gold. If you want a good modern zombie flick, go get 28 Days Later. If you're obsessed with the fact that it deviates from the game.. welcome to reality. Find me a solitary game-to-film movie that doesn't.
If you just are looking for another alright zombie movie, go for this. It's no thriller, but it's not a complete waste. Hey, you could have rented Zombie Lake right?
This film is simply mediocre, no matter how you slice it.
Shrek 2 (2004)
Just another poorly thought out sequel
I put off seeing the first one because I assumed it would suck heavily, I am traditionally a horror and comedy fan and I didn't see anything that would make me want to see it. When I finally did see it, I was disappointed that I hadn't gone to the theater.
But this one just reinforced my thoughts that I'll probably never be going to the theater again.
This movie was bad, on several levels. The sign bits have been made old by T.V., the story of this one is done at least twice every single year since movies have been invented, and most of the jokes just are not funny at all.
Is this to say that there's no humor to be found? No, no way. There's humor, but it's way to thinly spread over the time given to this movie, and between the few laughs is sheer boredom from things most movie fans have seen over and over and over again.
4/10
Terror Toons (2002)
Good reviews of this movie are utter lies
I don't see how anyone who has a brainstem got a laugh out of this movie.
Me and my friends sit around, renting movies of this vein for exactly that purpose, and were rendered speech&humor-less by this complete atrocity. We had to stop half way through and discuss exactly what was going on before we started it back up again.
The only thing about this movie that has to do with 'horror' is the word 'horrible', which you will be quite familiar with by the time you're done repeating it as the minutes which seem endless slowly tick past. When it's finally finished you will probably completely regret the bit of your life-span you've wasted on this, and wish you could've done something constructive with it.
I've laughed at Fiend, I've laughed at Alien Factor, I've laughed at Troll, I've even gotten some sick laughs out of Blood Sucking Freaks and this just does not compare. I would rather watch episodes of Barney back, to back, to back, for the rest of my natural life, than ever see this trash again.
As far as I can tell, this is literally the worst movie ever made.