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Reviews
Act of Piracy (1988)
Appalling!!!
This film was so bad and naff I had to fast forward some of the scenes to get through the predictable & cringy parts. It's obviously the epitome of an 80's B movie, with mostly B actors and B acting. Busey fails abysmally in his attempt at playing the good, heroic, family guy but ends up competing (for an Oscar nomination?) with Laura Warner in a series of hilarious over-the-top dual performances. Everything from the stunts, production, sound, (tacky) soundtrack, picture etc. cheap and it's weird because it looks like the children's voices were dubbed with adult ones which makes their performance even worse than it is already. There is absolutely nothing memorable from neither of the characters or lines apart from perhaps the gun tooting blonde bimbo who gets chucked out of the Hotel balcony but only for obvious reasons LOL. Ray Shark is totally unbelievable as the head of the terrorist gang and just ends up making you laugh pitifully at him and his character's style. I was baffled to find out that Arnold Vosloo (perhaps I shouldn't be given his B-movie portfolio) was in this rubbish as well, looking like some gangly Euro boy in full 80's B-movie gear & hairdo. It makes other second-rate films with him in like "Con express" look like Hollywood masterpieces. My advice to anyone, is stay away from this horrible film! Sorry but I'm really shocked at some of the comments I've read here, is there something I missed?? John Cardos is lucky to have such loyal fans
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Ridiculously funny
I nearly wet myself laughing when I watched this film. It already starts off promising, in a very oddly British kind of way, completely different from what I imagined. Shaun is this sad geezer, on the verge of losing his girlfriend who is stuck in a dead-end sales job and gets wound up by his 17 year-old colleagues. His best friend is even more of a loser than he is and doesn't do much apart from sitting around with his Playstation or downing pints at the local with Shaun etc. As the plot builds up we are gradually introduced to Shaun's cozy, yet boring world as well as realise way before he does that something very obviously "iffy" is going on and the scene where Shaun & Ed finally realise that they are dealing with zombies has got to be one of the most hilarious in the film. From that point on, Shaun the anti-hero and Ed, his side-kick become humanity's last hope, well
for his loved ones anyway and both set off on a mission to save Shaun's ex-girlfriend and mother. What follows is a mixture of action, gore, a little romantic subplot and plenty of British humour. This is not really a film for those expecting homage to the original, but it does have references even in the way it's filmed. But it is mainly a "comedy" (not a spoof) and very good one at that with a brilliant set of characters, including Lucy Davis from the Office who plays Dianne. I also think that it's funny that they released at the same time as the remake of Dawn of the Dead because it shows that a little clever marketing, good actors and a good script can take on a big budget remake any day.
King Arthur (2004)
Nice packaging, meagre content
If you are looking forward to watch this film for historical reasons, you'll be very disappointed, but if you want to watch (yet another) period film about battles with a kewl cast of mostly European actors, you'll be chuffed. I was disappointed with King Arthur because I truly expected it to be a good film but I should have known since it's from the producer of the likes of "Pearl Harbour" and "Flashdance"
But I have to say, there were some enjoyable bits about it. Those familiar with Robin of Sherwood will perhaps find it kind of nostalgic to see Ray Winstone playing another "Will Scarlet" kind of character. Clive Owen is cool and does an alright job but he no longer blows me away like he did in Chancer & Croupier, he also gets to make too many cheesy Hollywood pre-battle speeches which take the edge off his character a little. He was almost upstaged by Ioan Gruffudd who gives the character of Lancelot a quiet but thoughtful edge. It's a pity that Antoine Fuqua is more interested in the action than developing the characters and the story because most of the cast would have been up to the task. The only performance I wasn't happy with was Keira's. She was miscast in a role obviously too unfamiliar for her abilities. The Guinevere character was too much of a job for her and she obviously struggles with, sometimes trying to hard, almost desperately, as if trying to impress Ioan, Owen and her teenage friends in real life. I preferred her in "The Hole" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" and it is perhaps because she is better at playing characters closer to herself i.e. rebellious/popular "teenagers" and "middle class princesses". Til Schweiger was as cool as the "German" villain and the relationship with his father was quite interesting. I also liked big guy "Ray Stevenson" in the role of Dagonet, it's a pity that he gets killed so early in the film. But overall I wasn't happy when the film ended because it felt like it was cut short half-through, we barely got to understand the Woads people and their leader Merlin, Guinevere's relationship with Arthur and Lancelot didn't develop properly and the end was just cheesy and disappointing.
Overall this film disappoints because it makes you expect so much more. But then again that's classic "Jerry Bruckheimer"
Con Express (2002)
Not as terrible as I thought it would be
I only bought this film with the hope to see Arnold Vosloo as a proper psycho villain again but like in most of his films he doesn't get much screen time at all which is very frustrating because he's the best thing in the film, in my opinion. The film is bad and totally unoriginal but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's a bit like a big-budget American TV series. Some of the action is enjoyable because it's not done on the cheap as I expected but there is way too much deja-vu. Sean and Ursula do an alright job, although I'd have preferred them getting someone better looking and cooler to play Natalya (simply because she is supposed to be this enigmatic & beautiful character) and Sean hasn't got enough weight to carry the film on his own as the leading man, especially with someone like Vosloo as the villain. The hilarious bit of nudity was gratuitous and pathetic, but the actors make you forget it quickly enough, thank gowd! The "crazy, violent & unstable" Russian stereotypes are very outdated and preposterous but the actors play their parts well, especially Vosloo(apart from his accent) who always looks at best as the big villain with his stature and expressive face (although I cringed at some of his lines). Anyway, I suggest you don't waste money on this DVD, only perhaps if you are a fan of Sean's or Vosloo's because there are much superior action/terrorism alternatives out there.