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Blue Sky (1994)
Melothriller
Watching this movie was like watching one of those movies that don't know if they are a comedy or a drama but in this case, it's either a thriller or a melodrama, hence the melothriller.
It starts with a family moving to another army base where the dad is going to work on a secret nuclear project. As we watch him doing the big experiment we expect the techno-thriller twist in the style of Michael Chrichton or Stephen King, but instead, the movie turns into a Douglas Sirk melodrama. It goes on as a melodrama where Jessica Lange plays one of her typical roles of a woman on the border of a nervous breakdown. As she finally has her breakdown, the movie becomes soapy with great misunderstandings and bad people pulling the strings to destroy this suddenly great love story. As the last part ensues, the whole melodramatic buildup is dismissed as some B plot in a techno-thriller. So, the movie is neither thrilling nor melodramatic.
The Bubble (2022)
Why this movie sucks is very simple
Why this movie sucks is very simple: you simply don't care about the characters. And even calling them characters seems too gracious because they are just sketches. You do get the feeling that Apatow loves these people privately so he figured that we will too love them and just enjoy their presence. I mean, one of the obvious indicators is when you have Fred Armisen on board because to me he is the epitome of "winging it" when you don't have any idea of what kind of movie you are making.
This brings in another issue. What is this movie even about? It is so superficial and impatient that it is hard to tell. It tries to be about the quarantine but it is so removed from what actual people went through that you can't take it seriously. Or is it about filmmaking? But the characters seem to be so disinterested in the movie that they are making, with tired jokes like when the prop guy wants the actor to read his screenplay.
You almost wish you were watching those cheese dinosaur movies that the characters are making instead because at least you know what these movies are about.
Mean Girls (2004)
Quick review
I finally watched this movie since it gets referenced a lot so I might see it already.
The movie is making some very dramatic buildup with interesting characters which tend to react too emotionally for it to be realistic, but ok, it's drama. But then wtf happened? The screenwriters gave up and used deus ex machina to resolve the main conflict and rush into a happy (Hollywood) ending.
Let There Be Light (2017)
Hysterical approach to atheism
First rule of screenwriting is: research what you are writing; and the screenwriter of this move failed on the very first rule. Screenwriter here wanted to write a movie about an atheist but her knowledge is very shallow. I guess I would want to say that her knowledge about atheists doesn't go deeper than the pictures of book covers of some atheists she saw on the internet, but even that seems to be farfetched. If she didn't want to meet an actual atheist and have a conversation with him/her, she could have read some atheist book, or at least watch some debate video. But no. It seems that the screenwriter was too afraid to do any that, and yet she was keen to write a screenplay and "open our eyes" so that we can see how afraid, shallow, and deluded atheists are, but, instead, it backfired and made Christians like her who don't even dare to read a paragraph from an "atheist" book look afraid, shallow and deluded.
Suburbicon (2017)
Not much of a movie but a lecture
This is not a movie but a lesson that America wasn't so great in the 1950s, and it is interesting to see something that is anti nostalgia while most mainstream movies today are playing on a nostalgia card.
And just as I watched this "movie" president Trump was tweeting how white suburban women supposedly love him because he will protect suburbs from undesirable people (black people) - something that people in "Suburbicon" are very much concerned with.
The movie is obviously a commentary, if not straight historical lesson, that things were not that great in 1950s, and there is no reason to return to the era of widespread racism, antisemitism, misogyny, and overall paranoia.
Watching the movie through this perspective gives it more sense.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Cartoonish
This is why I rarely watch mainstream movies today: it's because they are cartoonish versions of more serious movies. Like this movie, "Jojo", which portrays Berlin at the end of ww2 as a dreamy, romantic place - let me break it to you: it was not. Berlin at the end of ww2 was all in rubble, you couldn't find stone standing on another stone, and people were starving. There weren't any postcard-like streets where you can dance and dream.
So you really have to wonder why don't people rather watch Rossellini's 1948 movie "Germany Year Zero" which is also about a boy in Berlin, although immediately after the war, facing grim reality of destroyed Berlin and whole German nation? And the answer is that that movie is too grim for today's audience, they need watered down and cartoony version of that movie - and that is very disturbing.
Agnes of God (1985)
Waste Of Time
Imagine watching a mystery-crime movie which at the end doesn't clear the mystery, crime remains unsolved -- this is that move.
Sean Saves the World (2013)
I liked watching it
In spite of the setup (gay man raising a daughter) this show almost never freed itself from being a very generic sitcom. First few episodes were bad and the worst one was the one about buying the bra, but after that it kind of picked itself up and was enjoyable for me.
Yes it was generic but I liked it because it relaxed me. Some people turn on sounds of rain falling or nature sounds, but I watch sitcoms like this.
My Dinner with Hervé (2018)
A divided viewer
"My Dinner With Herve" is enjoyable movie although it kind of looks like a HBO's 'thank you' to Peter Dinklage for what he achieved in GOT.
Also as a viewer this is an enjoyable movie, but if I was some sort of a boring film critic I would compare it to the move "Cobb" that has a similar dramatic setup: a reporter goes to interview a recluse legend (Ty Cobb) who is forgotten by now and he reveals his dark side to him as well as his vulnerable human side. And, indeed, as such "Cobb" fulfills that dramatic setup more since Ty Cobb was more messed up person and pretty much evil inside; while Herve was a good person although he seemed unpleasant sometimes.
But "Herve" wants to be more than that although at moments it seems the movie doesn't know what it wants to be - is it a biography, battle of different inner personalities (or battle between id and ego) like "Cobb", stage for little people's issues and problems... but that's all if you want to watch it like a boring film critic; if you rather want to watch it to fulfill some tome then it's great.
Bumblebee (2018)
Less Is More
As expected I noticed that people praise this movie (especially professional critics) not because of what it is but of what it's not and that is, of course, Michael Bay movie.
And, yes, while it is better than a Bay movie (as all movies are) with its determined Less Is More approach it itself looks rather like a TV movie with expensive special effects.
To me it felt like watching those "little girl on an adventure" movies like "Andre" and "Monkey Trouble" where girl befriends an animal (usually as a secret) which seems to exhilarate the people because it is after all a "Transformers movie".
On its own the movie is rather insignificant, but because previous movies were so sexist and incoherent people see it as a redemption toward what they did to women and storytelling, that we must applaud them now for not treating women as bimbos and actually having a coherent story.
In reality there's hardly anything in it you didn't see before in already mentioned movies as well as Herbie movies and it would be fun as one of those straight to VHS movies.
They Shall Not Grow Old (2018)
Bit of a mixed bag
Yes Peter Jackson did a brilliant job of restoring ww1 footage and the movie is well worth your time for that alone.
But it takes time to come to that part of the movie. First 20+ minutes are still black and white and small. The footage in the boot camp and London before war which there really isn't a reason that Peter Jackson left it like that, but I guess he wanted that old "Wizard Of Oz" dramatic effect.
And also what is the biggest drawback about the whole movie is that the culmination of the movie, which is the hand-to-hand combat, is represented by ugly drawings from some newspapers. I mean I know there isn't an actuall footage of that but he could have at least tried something more imaginative, like CG recreation or at least better drawings which really diminished the movie for me.
Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind (2018)
Pretty standard documentary
Well I guess this is what we all expected and wanted from a documentary about Robin Williams. It's your standard run through his life sometimes spoken by his celebrity friends that are kind of used to being in this kind of documentary so it all goes bit like a memorial or should I say funeral service for Robin Williams.
Space Cop (2016)
The Bad, The Worse and The Tribute
It is strange how in a rare occasions when I watch some movie all I can think of, as movie progresses, how I'm going to write IMDb review and this is one of these times. Now everybody that watches this movie is kind of a fan of guys from RLM and I know their fascination with bad movies to which this is tribute to, but even those bad movies, that RLM people watch, are trying to be good movies, but are made by people who don't know how to make a movie and they end up bad. In other words bad movies are made by people that believe in what they're doing, have at least some amount of ambition, usually wanting to push some sort of idea out there that will make people think or entertain. "Space Cop" is not. RLM guys end up looking like they're too good or just to cynical to even try to think of some story, not to mention good story or screenplay and dialogue (yes the dialogue is so bad that even actors after they say their lines look at themselves in wonder how awful it is).
One of the main jokes is that SF movies usually fail at science, no matter how expensive they are, but RLM fails to see that even when science doesn't make sense in movies it doesn't matter to viewers because they care about the story and characters. While here you have sets that look like clumps of garbage with people speaking equally appalling dialogue and utterly stereotypical characters. Of course to mention how bad acting is is too pretentious of me because RLM guys are too "beyond that" - you see the cynicism.
What they did seem to succeed somewhat is music. Soundtrack is trying to sound like John Carpenter's music and it is a decent little tribute.
What it all comes down to is that RLM guys love movies and they sometime even speak of watching good movies like the ones Truffaut made, so when you watch this the only thing that goes trough your mind is "Why would anyone intentionally waste their time making such cynical muck?" It's like Harry asking Lloyd in trailer for "Dumb and Dumber To" if he was faking insane paralysis for 20 years just to troll people.
Or maybe it's just another one of those by bi-products by famous youtubers that make an awful "book" or an awful "movie" to cash in on their fame while it's still here.
Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead 2 (2014)
Fatness Strikes Back!!
In the first movie our heroes recognized the danger and made a great victory against the forces of fatness, but this time they learn the fatness forces and it's allies are much bigger and vaster then they expected. They receive some hard blows and while they managed to achieve some victories blows left them still heavily bruised, restrained and ashamed from the battles and vastness of unexpected evil. And indeed Joe is visiting back some of the battlegrounds, Phil is left "frozen in the fatness" waiting for his princess Leia. We can all assume they are recuperating for the big last battle. So I can expect that the third movie will be named "Fat Sick & Nearly Dead 3: The Return of the Juicer"?
H.R. Giger Revealed (2010)
Horrible!
How do you make a documentary about a person who desperately wants to be very secretive about himself? Well you bring few people, mostly artists, to speak how great artist Giger is and how he will no doubt be worshiped in a future as an overlooked genius. The lowest point of documentary was when they brought astrologist to talk how special Giger is because of planet alignment that took place on the date of his birth. While all the time Giger himself is lurking in the background as some sort of shadow so in the end you get a movie that looks like TV commercial for one of those a new age preachers.
Which is a real shame because Giger seems to be an interesting person who made an impact in popular culture especially in the movies and video games. So it would of been really interesting if they actually talked to Giger himself about his background, his life and numerous movie projects he was involved of which many failed to be made like Coppola's produced SF movie "Tourist" or the "Dune". And I don't see why they didn't do that because from his cult book "Necronomicon" he doesn't seem to be so secretive since he shares some old photos of his childhood and earlier years with captions, but only if you understand German.
I guess this movie can only be interesting to Giger himself when he feels murky he just pops it in his DVD player and watches this self-indulgent rant-a-thon.
Alvin Purple (1973)
Great movie
This is the first sex comedy I ever watched in my life. Sure I watched a lot of films that considered themselves as sex comedies but there was no sex in them, just some goofy romance. Sure there were some of those teen sex movies that came close but this movie is about adults has a lot of sex and it's very funny.
I also think this is very good Don Juan movie, I mean it's heck of a lot better then that "Don Juan" movie with Johny Depp. Besides what I also enjoy about Australian movies is that they are not pretentious. They are not burdened with the notion "Will it get an award on some movie festival or not." No! This movie doesn't care about that, it doesn't try to be something more than it is. I watched a lot of those "coming of age" movies when you see some fellow's sudden sexual awakening and then director gets to much worked up over it and tries to be a philosopher about how people change when they loose their virginity. But not this movie, which thankfully delivers more than those movies can hope to.