Reviews

Overall I feel that these Treehouse of Horror Specials are becoming less and less scary, and are now all about cramming in as many guest appearances and references to popular culture as possible. The opening credits, spoofing "Tales from the Crypt" was quite humorous and well done, with Burns as the Cryptkeeper. The first segment was called "Married to the Blob" which is a story about Homer eating slime out of a meteorite, and turning into a giant blob, which results on him going on a rampage through town, eating all of the townsfolk. There were some humorous jabs at Arby's, teenagers, the homeless, etc., but overall a lot of the humour WAS forced, and there was an unneeded appearance from Dr. Phil, which flat out was not funny and overall quite weak. The ending twist was fairly funny. Overall I found this the strongest of the three segments and I give it 3/5. The second segment, called "You Gotta Know when to Golem" was a take-off on an old Jewish legend, about a Golem which obeys all commands written on scrolls and fed to him. What happens next is predictable; Bart gets his hands on him and of course, gets revenge on the bullies and Principal Skinner. There was a great voice appearance from Fran Drescher, giving an over the top annoying voice to the female Golem, but overall this segment was weak, clichéd and predictable and not even slightly scary. 2/5. The last segment called "The Day the Earth Looked Stupid" was about Orson Welles broadcasting his War of the Worlds radio play, and tricking the citizens so much that they almost destroy all of Springfield, but when they discover it was a hoax, they refuse to believe it, when Kang and Kodos genuinely do take over the town. The humour is non-existent, bar one or two snickers. This was awful. 1.5/5 Overall, this installment in the Treehouse of Horror series was a very big let down. Catch only if very bored...

The Descent is a tense horror movie which will eat at you and play on your mind long after viewing. The Descent is one of the best horror movies to come around for a very long time. The plot follows six friends who reunite for a caving expedition after a tragic accident which effects the main character - Sarah's life, forever. This trip is in order to get back out into the real world and experience fun again and to help put Sarah's mind at ease. Their adventure soon goes terribly wrong when a collapsing of rocks traps them deep in the dark, claustrophobic underground caves, and they find themselves being chased by bloodthirsty Crawlers - deformed creatures who have inhabited these caves for hundreds of years. Character development doesn't go overly deep -- but it doesn't really need to. The headstrong girls all get along fine, but there are obvious alliances and unspoken grudges hanging in the air. It is a realistic group of people you can truly imagine in reality. Juno has organised this adventure, a climb down into a famed cave system. She is the leader of the group; assertive and intelligent. Her new friend Holly is a hardcore thrill junkie and looks like she could be trouble, while mild-mannered, supportive Beth, Rebecca who is soon to become a doctor and Sam fall more in line in terms of group dynamic. As the movie begins, and they start their climb through these narrow, dark, nerving tunnels the tension already begins to rise. You can almost feel the emotion, the fear and excitement these girls are feeling. You can almost smell the dank, earthy smell of these ancient tunnel-ways. The way the film sucks you into the situation; makes you sweat, gives you goosebumps, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end - this is genuinely effective scares. The movie doesn't require the false scares and loud jumps that are overplayed nowadays; it just grabs you by the scruff of you neck, and throws you deep into the exhilarating experience of enclosed spaces, with this group of intelligent, skilled, athletic women, who continue on down these tunnels... until Juno makes a horrifying confession which dreads you with fear. This isn't the cave that she pointed out to them in the guidebook. It is in fact uncharted, and she has no clue if there is another exit from where they are at this point. Right about now you feel so nervous. The lump in your throat is growing bigger and your palms become sweaty. The terrifying idea that this situation rings true to what could very easily happen in real life is a horrifying idea. And the thought of being lost and with no sense of control or direction, thousands of feet underground where nobody can help makes the tension rise higher and higher. The group's bond is stretched by this horrible news. They, naturally, freak out and start to argue and point the blame finger. As these women then continue on with their journey deeper and deeper into the darkness, physical stress and strain begins to become apparent. They are sweaty and hot and wet and dirty. They have very little equipment and soon lose their rope. As they continue further and further into the heart of the underground, there is also that burning question swimming around them. Are they going to be able to find a way out, or are they just going further and further into the wrong direction? Paranoia, desperation, claustrophobia and pressure begins to make the girls crack. They begin to hear noise and echoes and crawling sounds. Could it be that they are not alone? Could there be other people down here who could help them? Apparently not, we learn, as we are introduced to Crawlers - bloodthirsty hunters - in a revealing way which will make you jump out of your skin and make it crawl. This introduction to the villain is one of the most heart-pounding ones I have ever seen! It really gets your adrenalin pumping! During the initial attack on the group, an attack is made on one of the girls and the group is split up. Now things really begin to get moving along at a jaw-dropping pace. These horribly deformed creature inhabit these caves and prey on humans. However they are blind, so they track down their prey with their astounding hearing skills. Once the group is split up in a wave of panic and frenzy, things really start to get juicy. Pits of bones, pools of blood, chambers filled with stalagmites and stalactites (which are cleverly filmed to show how dangerous and deadly they can be; like razor sharp poles. They almost seem to make you think how even the caves are against the group of girls, because of how extremely dangerous and unsafe they can be. Even the caves and tunnels are on the Crawlers side) and dark tunnels which go on forever are what the girls encounter, as they continue to delve deeper, in both fear and hope for survival and escape. As the film pushes itself to the extreme without stopping to take a breath, emotional secrets are revealed, fatal accidents are made, and a final act of vengeance leaves you sitting there with you jaw in your lap, your spine tingling and your head swimming with emotions on these events. The Descent is a fantastic race against time. Not only does it pile on the gory goods the tense unnerving chills, but it also breaks into tougher topics; betrayal, revenge, decisions, responsibility and fear for survival. Neil Marshal delivers a fantastic, brutal horror movie which doesn't play out the typical clichés and stereotypes. It is as real a story with an array of true, honest, believable characters and real questions, thoughts and touches on real emotion. The Descent it a definite must see, and one of the finest horror films to come around for years and years.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan takes a brave step in a new direction, with pretty unintentionally hilarious results. Part VIII is the instalment which most people seem to enjoy slating, however I think that it is one of the better sequels. From the overly stereotypical teenagers, to the fantastically inventive locations and death scenes, Part VIII offers much more than just Jason's gruesome slayings, and is therefore better for it. The plot is very basic; Jason boards a luxury cruiser full of teenage college graduates on their way to New York. As sexual activities and drug abuse ensues aboard the boat, Jason slashes his way through the entire load of passengers, leaving just a handful of characters to roam around the Big Apple as he continues his stalk. The characters in this movie are fantastic; J.J. the weirdly sexy punk guitarist, Tamara the hot bitch, Evie the naive girl-friend, etc. Once again the Friday the 13th series doesn't fail to bring to our attention a wonderful array of weird and hilarious people to watch be killed off. The death scenes are brutal and inventive in this movie, however for a later sequel the gore and blood seems very trimmed, so you are left feeling cheated, as the gore is much more toned down and very tame. We're talking about the annoying way the camera cuts away as somebody is about to be killed, so all we see is a blood splatter, or a shadow, or a pained face, etc., so the gore is a great letdown. The script in this movie is also very painful, and the characters all seem to be spouting a load of unwitty nonsense at times. In this instalment we also get to see Jason as a young child as well, as background and past stories are weaved into the main plot, both between Jason Voorhees and Rennie, the main heroine of this sequel. The soundtrack to this instalment is upgraded to punk-rock, and gives it a less creepy, tense feel, but is actually blended well with the dank back alleys of New York. There are plenty of plot holes in this movie. The way New York is over-exaggerated as being a shithole is quite unrealistic, but it does go well with the whole gruesome, dark Jason theme. Overall Part VIII is rather loose and could have been much better if we'd have seen more of Jason actually in New York.

The Break-Up is a very enjoyable movie, which basically follows the lives of Brooke and Gary, a couple whose relationship is breaking apart because of Gary's poor efforts to appreciate his partner. The Break-Up is not your usual clichéd fluffy chick flick, which is a change for once and a nice breath of fresh air in it's genre. Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn both play their roles to perfection; Anniston as the fed-up overworked houseworker/artist who doesn't get any help around the house from her partner. He doesn't help her to clean the dishes, he won't take her out to places she enjoys like the ballet, he buys the incorrect gifts and products for her and he doesn't appreciate how much she works for him and has appalling please's and thank you's. And Vaughn plays the lazy male partner who can't compliment his girlfriend, very well. He is a great actor at complaining and delivers his lines and scenes brilliantly. So, after a large meal with both Brooke and Gary's family, in which the couple argue their way through, Brooke has had enough of Gary's slobbish ways. The way he ignores her, and just wants to play video games and watch the match without helping her at all. Anyway as the arguments ensue, we begin to feel sympathetic for each character in a different light. First we feel sorry for Brooke because of how much she is put through, without any support around the house from Gary. Then as Brooke begins to spite Gary and try to make him feel down, so he will come back to her, (by her dating other men), we feel a little upset for Gary. Then, as the film develops we discover that both of them are now going to have to try and fight to keep their condo. Gary moves out his bedroom and lives in the living room on the sofa bed, while Brooke lives and sleeps in the bedroom. Division and fighting continues throughout the home. They continue to squabble about things such as what they can and can't do and where they can and can't go. For the next few weeks, Brooke and Gary try to upset and annoy each other. Brooke tries to date men in order to get Gary jealous and to try and win him back over envy. But she never quite wins the situation and never quite finds the right guy to get Gary back to her. Meamwhile Gary just lazes around the living room, doesn't clean up for himself and he buys a pool table to annoy Brooke, after their arguing over the fact that they can't have one. He also has a poker night in which he brings strippers home. This game of fighting in order to annoy one another provides plenty of laughs and great lines and scenes for the audience, and also works by helping wound their relationship even further, and making their division even wider. After a mishap of the two trying to host a 'game night,' in which Gary has bitter feeling for some of Brooke's friends who betrayed him after the split, Brooke and Gary's friend, who is also a Realtor, decides to help them sell the house and split their money so they can go their separate ways. Emotions and feelings start to play on the audience. We see how far the two have drifted apart, and feel completely sorry for Brooke's character, who only wanted to be loved by her husband, and after their split, wanted nothing than to be together again. Brooke then invites Gary for one last concert, hoping that they can mend some of the cuts in their split. But after he never shows, Brooke has had enough. She cries in front of Gary and spells out how all she ever wanted from him was appreciation. Gary feels sorry for her, and feels ashamed, but cannot fix what has been broken between them. After Gary cleans the condo and cooks a meal for the two of them, he tells Brooke his true love for her, but she doesn't feel the same. The two never get back together but the film ends on a smiley, happy note, as the two meet a year or so later, and are still good friends. The acting, as I have mentioned before, is on top form. The two leads play their drama so excellently, you would find it hard to believe the two aren't a real couple. Excellent characters also include Judy Davis as Marilyn, the rather eccentric artist who provides great comical value and John Michael Higgins as Richard, the crazy gay brother of Brooke, who once again adds some comedy on the side of this rather serious drama between the two leads. The script is good, with plenty of jokes, especially from Vaughn who is never a let down at delivering the humour while acting completely serious. The sets are rather nice, the condo is an attractive place. The soundtrack was nothing special and pretty unforgettable. However the many redemption's of this movie; the un-clichéd ending and the decent plot, followed by outstanding acting makes the Break-Up a very enjoyable experience. Not your average chick flick -- which is a good thing.

Cutting Moments looks at how a suburban family is falling apart. Wife Sarah and husband Patrick have drifted apart and Patrick has been found guilty of abusing and raping young boys. We can see that he has absolutely no interest in or love for his wife Sarah, and that this family has completely fallen apart. Their young boy, Joey, seems to feel completely guilty and ashamed of what his father has become, but it is Patrick's wife Sarah who is emotionally outraged that she has let her husband become this monstrous paedophile by her unappealing, unsatisfactory sex life she provided him with. We see that Sarah completely blames herself for what Patrick has become and this makes us deeply sympathise for her. She goes through extreme lengths to try and make Patrick and the family happy; she tries to make conversation and tries to make everybody feel happy. She does everything a loving wife and mother should do, yet Patrick completely ignores her and doesn't appreciate this. In a last attempt to arouse her husband, Sarah dresses up in a beautiful red dress with matching lipstick. However, her attempt was unsuccessful as her husband doesn't notice her at all. Upset and outraged at herself, Sarah goes back to the bathroom and begins to rub the lipstick off of her lips. She rubs harder and harder, but she still can't get the shameful stuff off of her lips. It is still there in her mind. In a desperate attempt to clean herself, she picks up the nearby scouring pad and vigorously rubs and rubs at her lips as they start to scratch and bleed, frantically trying to remove this empty gesture. Then, in a final act, Sarah snips off her lips with a pair of scissors because she is so ashamed of herself. Afterwards she returns back to the lounge, where her husband finally recognises his wife's devotion to him; he finally recognises just how deeply she feels for him to do something like this. The then mutilate each others bodies in the bedroom, in a sadistic love scene. Cutting Moments uses shocking violence and gore to portray just how hellish family life can become and how painful a broken family can become. It uses cringe-worthy techniques to emphasise just how painful rejection and ignorance can make a person feel.

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning. This sequel is actually one of the best in my opinion, except for the lousy ending. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning does everything correctly, through the first three quarters of the movie. We start off with the plot of Tommy Jarvis being sent to a halfway house for troubled teens, and there he is plagued by visions of Jason Voorhees. So we now have a fresh twist that the movie isn't to be set about cabins in the woods again, which is a breath of fresh air. Then, we have the absolutely fantastic array of characters, all of which are rememberal and great to watch. Ethel and Junior provide comical relief as the hillbilly mother and son, we feel sympathy for Jake, Violet and Robin, who are all great people to watch interact. The characters are all interesting, and all have their own personal traits which makes them work, instead of them all just wanting to party, drink, smoke and have sex, so this is also a step in a new direction. Out of all of the Friday the 13th instalments, Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning probably has the most memorable characters, and some fantastic scenes with them, for example when Anita and Demon sing whilst he is on the toilet, or when Violet is dancing the robot. Friday the 13th does have some very memorable and inventive death scenes as well, although plot holes and continuity issues do fall through think and fast. There is some nudity as well, mainly from Debbie Sue Voorhees, which is very enjoyable. The script can get very lame, for instance the conversations between Billy and Lana. However the twist ending is that Jason Voorhees wasn't behind these murders, but it was instead a copycat who was killing off the teens after his estranged son was hacked up at that very same halfway house. This is quite a let down, but seriously, don't let this put you completely off. Jason takes a vacation, but this filler still delivers the goods.