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Reviews
Cabin Fever (2002)
Just awful ...
This is just a collection of gruesome scenes strung together by a ridiculous, unimaginative screenplay. I like gory, violent horror flicks as much as the next guy, but this movie fails miserably to deliver on what should have been a pretty potent premise.
As amateurish as the directing (and some acting is), the worst problem is the screenplay. VERY MINOR SPOILER .... If this is supposed to be about a killer virus, why are the main menaces a mad dog and locals with shotguns? Why do the man characters seem to miss half-a-dozen potential escape routes to stay stuck in their silly predicament? Why is the lead character such a zero?
Anyone over the age of 12 should stay away from this stinker.
The Exorcist III (1990)
Under-appreciated ...
This didn't get much positive critical attention on its release, and hardly has a large fan base, but this is a smart and VERY scary thriller that's worth checking out.
To be sure, it's no masterpiece. It ends badly and isn't, let's face it, the fastest paced movie in history. But if you settled in and let yourself get absorbed in its slow, creepy rhythms you'll be rewarded with scares the really stay with you. I saw this flick 14 years ago, and I STILL vividly remember some of its best shocks.
Exorcist III will probably never be put in the pantheon of great horror flicks, but it's a solid companion piece to the original Exorcist, and good for a couple of sweaty, sleepless nights.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Smarter than it needs to be ...
I was pleasantly surprised by Dodgeball. It's not a gut-busting laugh riot, but you'll spend a lot of time chuckling and smiling, and you'll root for these underdogs to win the big game. Great cast, too, particularly Vince and Christine Taylor in the leads. And any movie that quotes "Bring It On" is doing something right in my book.
And while it's fairly low-brow, there's a surprising amount of intelligence in the screenplay. Plenty of jokes that don't bring down the house are worth chewing over later. By the time the movie reaches its big climax on ESPN 8 ("The Ocho"), you should be nicely won over.
Overall, a solid sports comedy. Check it out!
Ultrachrist! (2003)
Super-low budget, but super-big laughs ...
Whoa, this movie looks cheap. It looks like it was shot on the streets of New York City with nothing but $14 and a silver superhero suit. The good news is, it's pretty funny. A few sidesplitters, and solid chuckles up until the end, which is utterly hilarious.
The premise is that Jesus comes back to Earth in the modern day and finds he's a bit of a freak. He meets a seamstress and has her make him a superhero costume so he'll be able to relate. Then the Antichrist (who's the NYC Parks Commissioner, for some reason), resurrects the greatest sinners in history to fight Ultrachrist, and then ... then things get kind of weird.
While the movie may dwell a little long on some subplots (a romance between a pretty reporter and Jesus's angel sidekick may be a tad too much gravy), it manages to sustain momentum throughout, and by the final twenty minutes, when Jesus and Satan go head-to-head at what seems to be a benefit Honkytonk concert, it's reached deliriously crazy highs of hilarity.
Minor masterpiece? Maybe not ... but I did appreciate that the movie didn't stoop to lowbrow scatological humor at all (obscure political references are more its thing), and the performances (except a few where it's clearly someones friend or sister) are quite good -- particularly Jonathan C. Green as Jesus/Ultrachrist.
If you can tolerate low production values, bad sound and Klezmer music, Ultrachrist! is a movie worth checking out.
The Cooler (2003)
Know what you're getting into, and you'll have a good time ...
This movie was marketed as a comedy/drama, but let's be clear -- this is a pretty hard-core drama. It's surprisingly violent in parts, and while there are laughs, it ain't a gut-buster.
But if you dig gritty movies about losers struggling to make good, this movie may be your thing. I know I dig it. Highlights are, in my humble opinion, the performances -- particularly Alec Baldwin's complex turn as a wistful psychopath who is in turn Our Hero's friend and nemesis.
This pic isn't for everyone, but if my description makes it sound like your cup of tea, you'll probably have a good time.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
A small masterpiece ...
Trilogies almost never work. Few franchises have enough steam to get to #3 without a misstep ... frankly, I can't think of any other examples.
But T3 breaks the trilogy curse. The smartest move the filmmakers made was deciding not to try to outdo T2. T2 is an epic masterpiece, and trying to take that to the next level would have been near impossible. Instead, that brought things down a notch, made a smaller story, added more humor.
The result is a small, wonderful film. Well, relatively small anyway. It still delivers on the action -- the big chase scene code be the greatest car chase ever committed to film. And the ending ... it's the most powerful conclusion of any film in the series.
Kudos to the mind behind T3 for taking a project that could have been a disaster and making a terrific piece of cinema out of it.