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Dark Planet (2008)
8/10
Hauntingly prescient
29 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Watch the two-part extended version as the gutted one breeds more confusion and hardly fixes any pacing issues.

Plot-wise it's basically the second angle at Orwell's take on self-sustaining totalitarian regimes with the stick being also the carrot and community effectively oppressing themselves through the means of separation, segregation and psychological conditioning.

In this particular scenario, it's the hidden signal that makes most of the population obedient as sheep and causes unfortunate minority to suffer from agonizing pain, for which they get labeled as freaks and traitors by the establishment and the majority eagerly believes propaganda, because the signal makes them easily persuaded.

The earthling crash-lands on the God forsaken planet and has to learn its tragic history and borderline catastrophic situation the remaining population is in after surviving a nuclear war and getting constantly brainwashed by their nameless 'benefactors'.

The earthling is from a progressive Star Trek future, so nothing is impossible and he feels like doing something about the suffering extraterrestrials. How will he solve this problem? Is he going to screw things up? Almost certainly, but to what degree will become apparent after watching the flick.

Worth watching for the timely (and, honestly, timeless) premise alone.
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Prey (I) (2022)
2/10
Good acting, Prometheus-tier plot
16 August 2022
Actors in this are good, but the material they're working with is making majority of their characters either one-note, cartoonishly evil or incredibly stupid.

The star of the program - Predator - is playing its own film in the genre of comedy of errors (which is how the 'protagonist' successfully overcomes it)

Everything is predictable at least 5 minutes before something happens on-screen. It's about as dumb as Shane Black's The Predator, but minus the quips and fast pace - pure facepalm marathon.

* * *

I had to rewatch Predators just to cleanse the palette - despite it being shot and edited by a coked up ferret, that film has nailed the MYSTERY part of the Predator franchise, as well as serviceable character writing, which is something Prey, unfortunately, lacks in droves.
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9/10
A remake done right
9 April 2022
This film sort of counts as a remake, but it's more of a spin-off that offers a fresh angle on an old time classic, while adding a fresh layer of mystery on top of it and paying a lot of respect to the source material.

Top notch presentation and excellent acting from everyone involved.

An absolute must watch for any vampire lore buff & just anyone who enjoys a good, slow burn drama story in a film form.
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Bright (I) (2017)
3/10
Great premise, atrocious execution...
5 April 2022
Men in Black Fantasy Edition.

Training Day meets Underworld.

What's not to like?

How about awful, cliche, often off-character dialogue lines that are put just to serve a bad joke or some unrelated talking point, with no regard towards character's consistency or the story itself; one-dimensional, saturday cartoon tier baddies, generic macguffin chasing plotline, race-war establishing narrative that doesn't serve the plot at any point, no pay-off and it's simply dropped 30 minutes in without any character acknowledging or going back to it.

The script was undercooked. Characters talk like twitter users. The action scenes were generic.

It wants to pull off that very promising premise of fantasy characters being put into a modern, gritty, pre-apocalyptic urban setting, but falls flat on its face from the first steps.

Just a big disappointment.

* * *

Watch Daybreakers with Ethan Hawke or play Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines instead.
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1/10
Absolute rubbish
26 February 2022
Unfunny skits & cringeworthy dialogues, fed at a slog of a pace. Watch the first film - Quest of the Gamechild (which is a rock-solid 6/10) - and never bother with this utter waste of everybody's time.
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2/10
Skip it, if you're a fan of the original Trilogy...
19 December 2021
And that includes Reloaded and Revolutions - not that many fans of the original Matrix appreciated what were the sequels going for, so if you're that rare breed of a Matrix fan who has enjoyed everything, including the sequels and Animatrix - the M4trix will make you tear the hair out of your head.

Insipid, revisionist, entirely unnecessary - Wachowski has completely lost it.
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5/10
A perfect 'chick flick'...
5 December 2021
That some (me included) might find a bit too preachy and even manipulative to drive its themes. But the ending definitely does leave a small window for the afterthought.

Edward Norton is excellent, as usual, but most of the film, despite being emotionally intense, contains no strong crescendo moment - it just flows like a calm river, which is fine if you're not after the thrill of action or untangling some mystery (also, see the title of this review).

Now if you'll excuse me - I must go eat a raw steak to bring back my testosterone levels back to normal.
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Chage & Aska: On Your Mark (1995 Music Video)
9/10
Blade Runner + Edge of Tomorrow mashed together
2 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Alright, get this - you're a civil protection police scum who hunts down oppressed minorities in a cyberpunk Los Angeles (minus the ecological devastation of suburban outskirts). And somehow you're the good guy in this story!

Mix together Blade Runner, Edge of Tomorrow + razor-sharp capture of humans' affinity for projecting the outcome of our actions (and to get attracted to biblical angelic figures) and moe art style and you get this brilliant little short that only gets one star retracted from Griffindor for slightly unfitting (at the beginning) lyrics of the song with the presented imagery.

It's so much fun, Jan - get it!
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Black Mass (2015)
4/10
Watch, if you're a fan of Depp
16 August 2021
His performance is great and so is the film up until the very first conflict between his character and his girlfriend, after.which the narrative falls into pieces, turning the second half of the film into a clown circus.

Yet another wasted potential of a modern classic, trading away its credit for cheap, manipulative preachiness over bad things being bad.

P. S. Female characters are laughably reckless.
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Ejecta (2014)
3/10
Above average acting, garbage plot
16 August 2021
I'm all for low budget film with an original, well thought-out idea behind it. What I'm not for is a lod budget flick that tries to play in a big league by adopting every possible cliche punchline to drag out the below expectations reveal in the end. As previously pointed out, the interrogation scenes are fillers and a waste of time.

Overall, solid acting (I'm genuinely interested in seeing the lead actor in a good movie) and sub-par, cliche-riddled plot/mystery and dialogues, making the movie a waste of time for anyone already neck deep into the sci-fi genre.
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8/10
Thoroughly entertaining pirate action flick with gorgeous cinematography
14 April 2021
I can take or leave the punchline-happy banter between the characters (that has aged about as well, as first Pirates of the Caribbean slapstick eventually will), but the story itself, along with the action set-pieces and overall visuals of the film, are fun, entertaining and gorgeous looking.
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Farscape: A Constellation of Doubt (2003)
Season 4, Episode 17
10/10
A heartfelt retrospection on both main characters of the series and humankind's collective psyche
1 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The spot-on execution of an emotionally manipulative interview, produced by a biased earthling for his sensation-hungry audience, is genuinely gripping to follow.

Not much else to add to it, beside the plot hole everyone mentions over here: the aliens speaking English on tape. To clear things first, the only human interacting with non-english speaking aliens in an interview was Crichton's nephew, who could've easily taken the translator "flu-shot" off-camera, so no technical error here. To myself, I immediately figured out that the VHS tape of the documentary they took on Moya either didn't contain English dub voice-over, with which the show must have been aired back on Earth or, if they captured the airing much later in space (which would explain some past tense retrospective sentences in it), said voice-over is simply omitted by Farscape episode director as an artistic license decision (to avoid jumbled mess of alien characters speaking gibberish and the english dubbing narrator cross-talking over each other, dispersing the melancholic tone of the scene in the process) - simply imagine any news report with a foreigner speak being dubbed over in English / local language of choice. And, of course, Moya residents hear all of it in their own locale with the help of translator microbes.
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5/10
Didn't survive the test of time
7 January 2019
Used to laugh all the way through when I was a kid, but re-watching it years later, most of the jokes have lost their punch now either due to them being superseded by much more cynical ones in last 30 years, or the subjects of the jokes became either banal, dated or inappropriate. I think only a handful of scenes with characters, like Larvell Jones (boom-box / "one man foley studio" guy) and Tackleberry (gun nut), that can still work on contemporary audience and raise a few laughs - the rest of the film will be a good workout for your eyebrow muscles.
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