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The Lincoln Lawyer (2022)
Casting Fail
Lead actor is absolute dead weight. Mumbling all his lines. Has 0 charisma. It's like watching Weekend at Bernies except there's no one there to haul around the dead body.
Mimi (2021)
Ridiculous
The events transpired in the film are beyond the realm of reality.
Also just straight up offensive at times. Its attempt at being progressive at the same time was laughable.
The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996)
Stick with it, it's worth it
A little pretentious at first (thinking of that lecture on love). But the movie blossoms in to something quite mature, and fresh. It has its faults. The message is a little dated. The arc about being attractive kind of came from out of nowhere and didn't feel relevant. BUT, overall a very enjoyable film.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Lacking in key areas
Story is as expected from a Terminator flick. So pretty good. The dialogue was also punched up well since Salvation and Gen. The action is also substantially better.
The film however had a weak performer. Who is unimportant. But the role is substantial enough to affect one's experience.
Superman & Lois (2021)
Can't Relate
The Kent family is very pretentious and supercilious. I am not feeling that innocent, small town, wholesome vibe I get from the Supermen of comics, films, and animated TV shows. I thought maybe I might not be the target demographic. But, the recent DCEU films capture this. So I do not think that's a strong possibility. The writers and actors just seem to be out of touch. It's very off putting.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Restore the Snyderverse
What an experience.
I went in to this film with very tempered expectations having already given up on the DCEU's popular success. I thought the Snyder Cut was going to include some minor changes to the original 2017 film. This movie ended up being something completely different. Entirely new scenes, telling the story more coherently in a very different way. Add to this the phenomenal score, and you couldn't even recognize this as an alternate version of the 2017 film.
The atmosphere is bone chilling, ominous like you can tell something is not right with the universe. Like something is coming. And there certainly is. That's all I can say without giving away spoilers. I think everyone should get to enjoy this as a new experience.
My only regret is that I might never get to see this on the big screen. My hope is there will be enough success to restore the Snyderverse.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Unrealistic, Pointless, and Downright Irritating
You ask yourself throughout this movie
"how is the Russian mafia consistently botching every attempt at 'winning' against this main character?"
"How much plot armor is too much plot armor?"
"What's the point?" "Ambition bad"?
The filmmaker like the Russian mafia he portrayed was successful at botching what could have been a great film. Congrats.
Parallels (2015)
It's a TV Pilot
Not a traditional review but advice. I recommend this be watched as a TV pilot and not a movie because that's exactly what this was. Judging this as a stand alone film would make you rate it very low, but if you watch it with the idea that this was made to be marketed to some tv execs to be made in to a potential tv series later it makes much more sense. This way you'll enjoy it more and rate it higher.
The plot is pretty good. I could see this become a pretty damn good sci fi series. The actors however lack skill, and the dialogue could use a lot of improvement.
Fractured (2019)
Inspiringly Stupid Character
It was quite unbelievable how dumb the main character was. His inability to compose himself and explain the situation is what drives the entire movie. And then the predictable twist that makes it completely inconsequential just cements this as a successful flop.
Tenebre (1982)
Almost good
Was quite enjoyable until literally the last minute when Daria Nicolodi screams her ass off. Way over the top, melodramatic, and plain stupid. Left a horrible taste in my mouth, and ruined what could've been a pretty good film.
Eden Lake (2008)
What was the point?
The movie is quite nonsensical. Doesn't make sense at all. No point to it. Some issues with the plot. When they crash the car, and Fassbender's character sends her to call for help why did she return empty handed? Why did she just watch? she had ample time to make it to a near town and make a phone call to the police. When she finally gets a chance to escape, instead of fleeing this small town area she crashes her car (a horror movie if someones not falling or crashing at the right time, can it really be horror), she immediately just stops. What happened, the car just broke down from that collision? lol. This movie just sucks.
You're Next (2011)
A solid 6.5 until the end
The movie was quite fun. The main character was smarter than the usual blockhead horror movie characters. The end however completely botched the experience. It was just absolutely unnecessary. Such a plot would've been better served had we witnessed our main character emerge victorious in a more uplifting fashion. Ending the movie in such a manner just felt like a quick grab at shock and awe. I'm sure some would say it's harsh to drop a movie to such a low rating just because of this one thing, however it muddies the entire experience leaving you asking what's the point. Such a question just leaves the whole movie feeling empty.
The Last House on the Left (2009)
Everything right and wrong at the right time
This isn't a real review I really just want to comment on how fascinatingly stupid the characters are in this particular movie and how things just seem to occur at the right time. There were points in the movie when it was 2 vs. 1 or 3 vs 1 and the majority would be getting their asses whooped. At one point a character was able to knock the gun out of the other character's hand using a pillow (possibly a bag). When the mother was presented with ample opportunity to ready herself to effectively knock out one of the bad guys, she resorted to using a wine bottle (??). Of course, as the characters are running away from their assailants they take a tumble just as they're about to be clear of the horror to only be dragged back in to it, classic horror movie idiocy. Gun's jamming, people losing their guns, people losing the upper hand in a situation when they had enough time to prepare for it. The whole movie was just one big heaping bowl of deus ex.
Oculus (2013)
What a Joke
The film had the potential to be pretty decent (6/10). However, the main issue was with Karen Gillan's acting, more specifically her line delivery, and unfitting emotions. Now Gillan by no means is a bad actress so I'm inclined to blame the director for this one. Second, the ending was rather uneventful and underwhelming.
Gillan's line delivery was terribly cringe-worthy, especially during the scene when she was explaining the mirror on video. The tone was off, it felt unnatural and unlike someone in that situation. It was almost as if the character was opening for a cheap horror house or circus. Take special note when she delivers the line "please smash it, by all means" she smiles, her eyes dilate, and she whispers it like a line a campy bond villain. I laughed.
I think the ending of the movie was planned like "You know the good guy always wins in the movie, let's be different" *eye roll*. In addition to such a pretentious effort, the ending itself is rather blah and felt phoned in. Guy kills his sister by accident, repeating history, he'll be forever known as a psychopath killer, while the mirror continues to circulate home to home. MEH.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
A Disappointment
People will say the movie is amazing because of its subtlety and nuance. They will say the movie is about real people in real danger blah blah. I say that is pretentious hogwash.
The movie was an utter disappointment. I feel cheated. I call this movie a lie in the sense that the title does not hold true, nor does the movie result in anything remotely close to horror. I call this movie a waste of your time. That is all.
Interstellar (2014)
Anti-ruskin-462-304151
I regularly do not write reviews, but after reading a few unjust and nonsensical reviews concerning this movie I felt I needed to. I'm not going to try to explain some of the ideas applied in the movie, I'm only going to try to talk briefly about them and maybe validate their significance.
I'd like to first just say this movie is indeed an experience of a lifetime, and if given the opportunity to see it in IMAX, I urge anyone and everyone to re-watch it. The cast is just spectacular, their chemistry speaks more than my review can ever. The story is an original take on an already claimed frontier. Where the underlying theme, and conflict of the story is not in the science - although it will be the main topic of my review - of it, but the family values.
Now for what I feared would happen before this movie came out, and what certainly did - the inability to understand the science. This movie follows the laws of physics the closest any sci-fi movie ever has. If you don't believe me, pick up a copy of Dr. Kip Thorne's "The Science of Interstellar". Thorne has spent the majority of his life dedicated to the study of physics, when a man of his caliber is consulting on the science aspect of the movie how can anyone say otherwise. Sadly, there are some viewers that do.
I was reading the reviews and I came across one that was basically a parody synopsis. As amusing as it was, it was radiating the writer's inability to understand simple plot-points of the movie. The one I'd like to address; Time-Dilation and Relativity. The writer criticized on how preposterous it is for time on one planet to be slower than the time on our own, and then followed up by saying "where's Einstein when you need him?". Ironically, it was Einstein who successfully explained this phenomenon, and to the readers I just want to say it is scientifically accurate. Also, it's kind of strange that the user would have trouble understanding it when several times do Romilly and Brand bring up the idea of relativity, oh well.
The Wormhole: In one of the reviews here on IMDb, a user placed quotations around the word, and talked of it, as if it were a fantastical idea. No, in fact it has been mathematically proved for this phenomenon to exist. It is called an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, the name is sufficient. It was studied and validated by one of the greatest minds of our species, and is still being studied by some of the smartest people on our planet.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Could've been great.
This is in fact a really good movie regardless of my rating. The script is good, the acting is good, and for an 80's film, the timing isn't all that bad.
Steve Martin as always was a delight, not a great actor, but an intrinsically entertaining character, nevertheless. Candy was needless to say great. He effortlessly establishes the nature of his character before even speaking a word of dialogue.
However, my main concern is the ending. If it wasn't for the sheer awkward, emotionally confusing, and out of place nature of that scene, this movie would easily be ranking a solid, and well deserved 8/10.
Elementary (2012)
Absolutely dreadful
Title says it all, absolutely dreadful. I am probably the biggest fan of Sherlock Holmes, going as far as to adopt his skills in my way of life. Highly effective for reasoning, but revolting to one's social surroundings, I might add.
Now since House went off the air, I was in search of a show with comparably sharp dialogue and wit, and I found the BBC version of Sherlock. Which was beautifully written, directed and acted, purely genius. Benedict Cumberbatch delivered an outstanding performance.
I guess the Americans couldn't bare the success of the show, and tried playing their hand at the Holmes card. Did they really think an Asian milf on the scene could enhance the appeal of the show, pffft. I wasn't even able to sit through the first 10 minutes. They have disgraced the good name of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
If I could have rated it under 1, I would have.
Two and a Half Men (2003)
Schmidt-stained
Charles left ;(, and the show lost its appeal. I think Lorre should have just apologized, and saved his show from the crap it is now. Even the writings gone horrible.I thought I'd still watch it, you know? to see how the characters develop. But it's like all the actors lost their light. Kutcher keeps playing Kelso, who wasn't even funny in "That 70's Show".
The show blows, the network should just chuck, Lorre.
Now you can find Charlie on "Anger Management" still doing his thing. The Series first few lines say it all "You can't fire me, I quit!, think you can replace me with some other guy? go ahead, it won't be the same. You may think i'm losing, I'm not, I'm......"
WE MISS CHARLIE.