Reviews

Two hit men once enemies join hands to battle through dozens of bad guys to allow one of them to testify against a Belarus warlord. Sounds neat, however the movie goes beyond the point where it gets pretty annoying and dull forming a predictable unoriginal action/comedy.

In the movie, Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson (both great actors no doubt) act like really unnerving big shots, depressing shows off and mundane. It has gone into the nonsensical too far for me.

They kill everybody off course, in any way, with any weapon and against all odds... a truly pair of supermen, not professional hit men.

The movie is simply a let down and lacks of maturity... good for kids though... and yet... too much violence is shown.

Great let down.

I was astounding by the idea of this movie. Great script, excellent design of the ship and its interiors and amazing CGI exteriors.

The plot: A space ship is heading to an earth-like planet with 5250 people on board in hyper-hibernation, in a voyage that will endure no less than 120 years. While en route, a gigantic meteor cloud of meteors smash onto the ship's protective shield without greater damage... only a little bit of stone is let thru against it. Some malfunction happens and one unlucky individual is prematurely awake from his hibernation deep sleep... when he knows that the ship is 90 years short to arrive to the new planet, he realizes he's doomed for good.

This movie is good for a big audience followed by a debate on human emotions and choices. Selfishness or despair? The big question for the movie buff shall be this: What would YOU do? I was completely blown away by this movie. The purity and originality of the script, the gracious ideas in the spaceship, the small but cool action that will unravel as time unfolds and the sparse but vivid comedy in several moments makes this movie well above average.

It is a film that makes us think "what if"?

I have read twice Agatha's "Ten Little Ni**ers" (Which was the original title by the way, changed only because some minorities would frown away, play the race card or start an international outcry...).

This novel certainly is one of the best concerning suspense, mystery and plot-driven ("whodunit" conundrum). One of the most powerful, jaw-dropping ending crime novel I've ever read (and let me tell you they were plenty) with a lot of pursuance and nuance to make possible a dark, gloomy atmosphere imagination while reading. Reading it was like tasting honey or to receive a shot of adrenaline - the pace was so good, the characters likable and the fiction itself remarkably well written.

This TV drama ("And Then There Were None" ) was almost the opposite: Surreal and unrealistic narration and actions of the characters (not saying they acted bad, on the contrary), the mansion wasn't sufficient somber or dreary, the end is somewhat forced and disillusioned and the drama's get-along seems missing pieces in the middle.

After the disclosure of every characters' compelling dark event in their lives, half of them will have visions of their "victims" coming back to torture them in a way to show to the viewer the character's guiltiness.

Example of one of some absurd scenes (NO-SPOILERS): When the first and second person dies is it was as if nothing happened, people just carry on and don't bother to really opine, chat or get emotional about it.

Pros: Scenery of the Island, acting and some minor plot development.

Cons: Confusion at the starting episode, illogical, senseless and foolish performance/moves of the characters, the mansion set, supernatural or ghostly visions that befell on some of the characters and the chimerical end in the last episode.

What could have been a wonderful cinematic experience was transformed into a supernatural and improbable story lacking real development and suppressing reality - a small hogwash sufficient to spoil such a great novel by yet such tremendous renowned writer. What a pity.

A rich tormented man seduces a naive or a nitwit female to get his pervert satisfactions on motion - A movie that presumably can induce the public that abuse and cheap BDSM is OK to apply on every women. Nice subject to deter the many Stop Violence against Women campaigns worldwide.

Stay OUT of this misery - No chemistry, no libido, no sensuality, no eroticism, no NOTHING! Wasting your time is what you will get by seeing this balked, disparaging and insulting story. Amazingly, on top of this all, it was a female that directed this movie... shame on you Sam Taylor-Johnson!

The only positive thing is Boca do Lobo's exclusive and luxurious interiors - An amazing decor! That's why I gave 2 stars in my vote!

If you have bought this film but first went seeing these reviews I am afraid that I have some really bad news for you... this movie is so, so bad, horrible, lousy and heinous that you better throw it rapidly to the dust bin without blinking or even seeing it (undoubtelly a smart decision... believe me!).

Goodies: The zombies looked like clowns and the blood rotted Ketchup.

More goodies: Appalling wardrobe and laid-back/nonthreatening zombies.

Pace: Infinitively slow.

Cast: They were just doing their job for some bucks.

Script review: Flawed from the beginning, clichéd remarks abound everywhere, no credible tension and stupidity all around. A really cheesy B-movie!

Opinion: Don't waste your money or your precious time seeing this utter rubbish. Summing The Dead the Damned and the Darkness it's just three Ds filled with a big S!

One thing that sums all up this movie: The trailer is so much better than the actual full length. Not kidding!

Cast: Not bad.

Music: Somewhat good.

Effects: Not good, but not awful either.

Plot: Three people encounter a strange device while in a secluded forest cabin. They touch it and ultimately they start to get feeling strange and deviated. (Humm...awkward)

The plot is very predictable, there are clichés everywhere, the pacing of the film blows away the narrative into an incoherent and confusing chaos.

The whole film seems an unfinished puzzle until the very end as if the viewer is meant to be thrown into a spiraling and awkward, ambiguous conclusion.

For fervent sci-fi fans this flick could be enjoying. For me it was just like watching a mundane and humdrum bizarre story to be rapidly forgotten as soon the movie rolls its ending credits.

Yes, I am saying politely in the summary. This movie is so atrocious that I advise everyone to use all of its package as combustion to set some good fire on freezing nights.

Astounding feat: The first half-hour of the movie presents the main actress trying to find her sister. A complete banal and monotonous way to open a film with the first 35 minutes (!!) filled with walking around thru nothings and the nerve-racking ineptitude of the actress to have sex with her man.

Plot review: It is an amazing silliness with grotesque and pointless annoying shots after that blank 35 minutes. The movie tries to offer a miscellany of alien conspiracy theories and weirdo scientific experiments but only delivers confusion, commonplaces, poorly conceived interactions and a horrific bad experience to the viewer.

Big question: How this script found funding is an enigma to me.

Conclusion: Avoid this one for the sake of your time.

Movie packed with a little scent of action-drama of the 1970s. This Australian movie gets better as it is unfolded.

Good acting, good photography and a brief dose of humanity and thriving. Even if the script is nothing out of the normal, the film itself shows us a fast-driven story of convicted criminals trying to live under a small "mafia" organization - Love, lust, betrayal, death and commiseration will be the ingredients to cook up this story.

PS-> Don't watch the trailer because it sucks and deviates you from seeing a good movie. (I avoided myself from viewing trailers years ago for any movie) - They are simple a pure commercial beacon that use the best scenes as a vehicle of opportunism to forge you into seeing something that ultimately it does not translate into what you are expecting.

They had paid 16.000 people to vote 10 on this idiotic movie... it can't be possible that there's 16.000 movie-goers acclaiming this egocentric and unfunny piece of crap as a TOP10 voting...

Let's start to try to save the ill-advised ones: The story goes well before the scene where Hell goes loose on Earth... but after that it all goes off downward as we start to see just rubbish monologues, dialogs, poor character interaction, self-indulgent actors and an unrealistic and beyond frustrating reality and self-absorbed mental apparatus...

I was, as many reviewers here, fooled by the rating of IMDb presenting a 7.5!!!! I felt utterly stupid because I didn't read all the other comments already written as I usually do, and those opinions, unfortunately, showed an otherwise picture... and an awful one i'm afraid.

If this is comedy, I rather see once again Titanic and laugh out at brilliant DiCaprio's jokes and nastiness on-board the ship... yes, they're better than this supposedly comedy movie.

Avoid this film if you want to remain mentally fit and spare your money. I would instead give my $6 dollars to a homeless man rather to this ever-growing disappointing Lions Gate Company.

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg... no more for me!

I never saw Lewis Allen's "Suddenly" (1954), but I guess I just don't need, because I know a priori that it is an Oscar-winning film comparing to this atrocious remake made by an unskilled, dull and inept director that, besides being labeled as a movie-killer by making abominable, heretic and unintelligible movies, still get millions to produce plain pointless excrement.

Nevertheless, I swallowed an aspirin and, maybe taken a bit away to the fact Boll's last movie drew some fair critics, I finally had the courage to assist a movie made by this European quarreling psyche. Unfortunately my expectations weren't wrong at all: It was like to have an urge to commit suicide or to mutilate myself for being an utterly idiot.

Boll's cinematic masterpieces, according to him, 'Alone in the Dark', 'House of the Dead' and 'Far Cry' are all, cemented by virtually 90% of critics and spectators, a collection of rambling-disjointed narratives of absurdity, execrable directing, vile and poorly written scripts and an unbelievable populist egocentric paranoia product of a tormented mind.

This movie, for which it was presented with established actors, fails miserably in achieving something other than a mind-blowing overly median hogwash.

I really must go out and buy the original movie to make a sincere topic comparison and eventually assert righteously that Uwe Boll must pay in prison terms for brain damage to the public and serious technical incompetence. Even with Liotta and Purcell on the screen the movie drags on into a worn out monosyllabic clichéd and putrid dialog.

The story of 3 assassins posing as secret agents who find an excellent sniper spot (a house) to murder the US president is tantalizing enough to draw a good script, but with Uwe Boll, that's not the case: For Boll it seems the only person to sense something about the fake agents is an alcoholic, self-neglecting and psychically affected and sacked ex-marine who can't cope with his friend death years and years ago. Brilliant!

I really think there's not much more to say unless citing all the mumbo-jumbo and mediocrity that abounds in this Boll's vision of a film. Ultimately, dare me to advise you to spare your limited lifetime and patience and skip this for real - You won't regret, I CAN assure 100%.

PS-> Another priceless story is how I ended up seeing this "piece of art". - But please don't ask me to, I cannot tell, Boll can lawfully sue me or else invite me for a matching box until K.O.

Casted with a cream of talented actors, for which sincerely everyone gave their best, the movie actually stomped hard in a script and direction crisis that failed miserably to show interest in the protagonist.

The film obviously suffers from the absence of anyone to care about because it was shot-like as a documentary - a brief and massively incomplete narrative about the life of this mafia's cold-ruthless hit-man. The director may have well in mind the "based on a true story" concept rather than going into the true Richard Kuklinski's biography idea, but the progress of the film was too expeditious and sometimes obnoxiously recurrent while dealing his countless impulse murders or contract killings.

But the biggest failure in the plot line was the weak portrayal and developing line between Kuklinsky's underground life and the social relationship into his family life - Hardly toned and underplayed.

Even with these serious imperfections the movie still delivers strong punches in the stomach with brilliant performances, atmospheric scores and good photography. In short, it's a demonic experience into the life of a conscienceless man that balance into bloody mayhem and the ingenious caring and love-bound knit to his family. But society often forgets that psychopaths are also pathological liars and misleading dramatis personae.

The Forest of the Damned can be classified as this: More than terrible concerning the acting, the script, the shooting, the direction....well, everything this useless thing can spit out into your eyes. Stupid lines, stupid story, unbelievable disgusting pace and cheap nudity. That's how you make a abhorrent movie! If you see Forest of the "Nausea" let me remind you will never be the same again. My brain just couldn't cope with the utter trash vomited by this carnival of fecal matter...

I just can't believe there's people out there that liked this crap... no sense, more than horrible/painful performance and a terrifying will to shout "I want my money back and the head of this inept director!" And, please, IMDb administrators, let people give 0 rating to films that shouldn't be produced. I gave 1 star cause it's the lowest grade here, but sincerely this Forest deserved, not 0, but below 0!

I am gonna skip the synopsis and run to the review itself.

This low budgeted B-Movie is a good surprise. This British independent film has a small cast (3 actors only), very little dialog and set almost entirely in the woods. It hardly sounds like this thing can pull us up for anything good but Simon Boyes and Adam Mason have created a gory, shocking, intelligent and modern thriller.

Broken is somehow paced, I mean, could be a little bit slow for some people out there already hypnotized on clichéd/biased Hollywood horror crap, but let me tell you, this thing will throw suspense and confusion every time you think you know what's going to happen next...

Nadja Brand (Oh! What a gorgeous and sexy woman!), is absolutely fantastic while making her character very realistic and credible.

Eric Colvin is magnificent according to his character on script.

Abbey Stirling is a young actress and did a mediocre job for her first appearance. Who's to blame?

Summing all and concluding, the cinematography makes the film look a lot more expensive for a 9000 Euro cost. The editing is professional, the script good and the directing is quite an accomplishment comparing to other British indie movies of such grandness like Dog Soldiers, Cradle of Fear, Dead Meat and even Boy Eats Girl.

So, we or you will think: If it's so damn good why it's not being distributed in international theaters? Well... because it's too grim and too violent for the regular viewers... but not for me.

I bet on Broken... do you?

Cemetery Gates can't be seen like a real movie. You must be drunk or doped so that you could not laugh about it. Terrible acting and lousy editing complements with a stupid story, dumb teens, dumb persons but with a good FX. Gore abounds and sometimes is really cheesy, other pretty good. Nevetherless you can't take this movie in consideration and the best way to see it is to make fun of it and to spit up a good dose of laughs... nothing more. The acting is beyond mediocre, the dialog is abominable and the only positive thing is the creature itself... even then you'll notice how bad screened it is sometimes.

You must see this low budget movie in a humorous manner and you must strip yourself off reality and stupidity. Actually it's better you see it with your friends if you want to have a good and freaky animated afternoon attended by a big pack of beers and kilograms of weed...

This movie really sucked and the money spent on it could have been injected into a charity center for homeless people or an orphanage...

Blood Trails is nothing but a bunch of other things seen in other flicks. An enigmatic lunatic chases his victim thru a forest killing her date and whoever appears in the way. The end is completely unoriginal as expected for a thing that made rip-offs of other horror stories of this kind.

Mediocre acting, clichéd screenplay, flashes, gore and stupidity all around it...

The movie got me really tired and I've tortured myself seeing it till the end. There's bad movies out there and Blood Trails is one of them. Finito.

I don't have anything more to say, but let me tell you this: You will be more satisfied seeing "Love Boat" or Walt Disney's Donald Duck & Uncle Scrooge adventures... believe me.

My God! "Ils" or "Them" reminds me of "Spoorloos" (The Vanishing - Dutch Title). But wait a minute. "Ils" is not a copycat nor its contents are equal to "Spoorloos". I am talking about the tense, the suspense and the frightful atmosphere this movie delivers to you.

The movie runs thru a hour and ten minutes always packed with great thrilling cinematography that could take you into a breathless awe. "Ils" don't have a great plot but it's not two minutes of suspense here and there... it's a whole hour of constant excitement of anticipation of an approaching climax! The acting is very good, very credible and natural. (Congratulations Olivia Bonamy and Michael Cohen because you guys connect "trés bien" on the screen).

The story is about a french couple living in a rural mansion in the outskirts of Bucuresti, Romania, that one night are surprised by some bizarre visitors that start to terrorize them. But who are really THEM? That's what we gonna find at the end and that's what it makes it more desirable to go see David Moreau's/Xavier Paludo's "Ils".

If you plan to see gore, forget it. Nevertheless this flick surpasses the goriest movie around. It was based on a true event and this makes it more scary and unpredictable.

Definitely a truly horror/thriller movie plot. Unmissable.

The script of "The Butcher" was obviously written taking bits from Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes with a little scent of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Although not so violent as the latter, this flick doesn't fail to the genre: Horror.

However I must ask the Screenwriter why he gave the name "The Butcher" to this film. A most suitable name would be "The Insane Family". I'll bet you'll say the same thing after seeing this.

The acting is not bad, the special effects are good and the story doesn't run into the clichés usually made, except for the spoken dialogs. Stupid lines and nonsenses like asking if anybody is there in an obvious empty house and calling for help in the woods knowing that the killer is doing a chase was a completely dumb thing to write making it unoriginal as seen in other films countless times.

I must point out the unreal factor not exclusive of this movie but always seen in others of the same genre. After the death of their female friend, there's some convincing acting about her death, but then is all forgotten and everyone is "cool" and behaving as if nothing horrible has happened.

Nevertheless I found "The Butcher" entertaining and far better than "Venom" and because it showed a good directing and things that were very different from those movies mentioned. We do not see the usual way of a teenager get killed like in Jason Friday 13th or Halloween and we have always the perspective where the killer is and where the victims are.

There's some slow pace at the middle of it and the gore is not intense but all the action and the subsequent end turns this into a mildly enjoyable time spent.

Definitely a good renting. (Actually, the best thing, and if you can, it's to try to see it free).

Murder Set Pieces... Oh my! If you're reading this reviews than you're into gore addiction or you're just a f****g wacko like me and the rest of these guys.... To watch a movie like MSP, you definitely need to have a prepared stomach of previous hours of real gore. But then, when you feel prepared you'll notice this can't possible shock you in any way unless you're a whining bastard.

For a common person, especially women, this could be extremely shocking, disgusting, repugnant and ultra offensive. I didn't felt impressed about MSP. It's not a bad movie, but the enormous fiasco is certainly the completely lack of a good plot/script. The Nazi paraphernalia is obviously put into the movie to show off. Nick Palumbo's house must be filled with III Reich relics.

The movie follows the life of a really f****d up, twisted, paranoid photographer that makes his nocturnal life a hell-bench of seduction, sex, rape, torture, murder and sadistic pleasure taken out of hot girls picked/abducted in bars, streets, etc...

The violence is extreme. The director doesn't want to hide anything. Blood spurs everywhere: In bath tubs, Toilets, his secluded basement, alleys... you name it. Then you ask a question: Where's the goddamn Police and the FBI? With plenty of bodies left to rotten in Las Vegas, NV outskirts it's impossible to go unnoticed. But that's what the director didn't care about it, and, frankly, neither none of us. Right guys?

The factory that produces the fake blood positively will thank more directors such Nick Palumbo. Blood soaked films. You'd be tired of see red.

Another surprise and unusual aspect in this film: It was the first time I've ever saw children getting murder and assaulted in a horrendous manner. And for this I'll give a BIG credit for Nick. It's not because I like to see children get hurt. It was his courage of bringing such thing, not nice to see, but believe me it added a good dose of realism to it.

If you're into gore and like to watch crazy wackos in a blood carnage then this is for you. "Bloodshed all over you" could have been a great title for Palumbo's movie.

There are things you can't believe people just do to achieve something important to them. This, I think, I call obsession. And what is obsession? I define it as an irrational motive for performing trivial or inchoerent and compulsive actions against everyone's will. A psychological feature that is inconsistent with reason or logic.

And that's what this movie is about: To remain beautiful and young, a woman embarks in a sick and disgusting taste for a repugnant menu... Dumplings as they say... but really they're more than that!

This remind me of Erzsébet Báthory, Countess of Transylvania during the XVII century, when she firmly believed that if she bathed in the blood of young virgins she could be young and healthy forever.

"Dumplings" is uncomfortable, nauseous but captivating at the same time. The story of Ching Lee (Miriam Yeung), retired TV actress, who goes into the moral's depths of pursuing the eternal youth. With her betraying husband (Tony Leung Ka Fai) and the underground female chef Mei (Bai Ling), the critic goes far beyond the main subject, talking about, ironically, the narcissist impulses and the birth control in China as in the superfluous and pointless today's society way of living.

The movie is a spiral between revenge, betrayal, obsession and frustration with some vile and loathsome graphical scenes that should, undoubtedly, be offensive for the sensible ones.

Rather than be just a shocking film, Fruit Chan, the director, constructs a masterpiece of unappeasable fixation that's to stay young at all costs and thus, deepening it into the viewer's subconscious, awakes us to other facts: When we have a strong physiological obsession, we humans, do whatever it takes to fulfill that desire...

The Legend of Lucy Keyes: I was really stupid thinking this one could rock stars. The movie is not bad, but sincerely it does not expand into nothing original nor outstanding.

A city family moves into a rural zone where it lies a secret and a supernatural tale: An haunting folk story where a ghost of a woman wanders thru the woods at night trying to find her lost daughter 250 years ago.

The acting is decent and the story is somewhat cool but the running of the film goes towards mediocrity and uncreativeness due to a lack of positive sets to make the audience captive and thrilled in the seat.

If you're trying to watch a real horror movie don't go this way and avoid the party-hunting that sets off to find little Lucy Keyes...

L'Infant is extraordinary surprising. I never had seen a Belgian movie so I was very curious about this when I was in the theater.

The script is about 2 young youths that aren't yet mature already carrying the burden of taking care of their own baby. Unemployed, without any good prospect of a real future, school droppers and not having reached maturity, they went on living just for the moment. The father is just a young, dull and irresponsible teenager that lives thru schemes and small petty crimes. The mother, looking as a 12 years old girl, thrives to support the child and don't discourage the way of living of her "husband", seen by her as fair and needed to aid their life.

The film focuses also on the illegal and dark commerce of adoption and selling of children, which is by the way what the boy will do to gain a load of money...

The movie then runs to decadence, regret, awareness of childish mistakes and bad options that, without surprise, would lead to an expected nightmare... jail.

Great acting, fair dialog(Due to the content of the story) and a voyage to the sorrow for the misfortunes of these 2 child-parents.