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Glass Onion (2022)
5/10
Judge not, lest ye be exploded on and island
5 January 2023
I enjoyed the first movie, though i felt the whole social messaging angle it took at times was definitely the weakest element of the film. In this movie, we get basically nothing but social messaging and very little murder mystery. It is kind of annoying to watch something which is attempting to critique the dumbest elements of our culture, but yet at the same time seems to be absolutely fascinated and narcassitically in love these same things (keep in mind, I would say that this movie itself and its overall message seems to be made by the exact type of social "disruptors" that the movie claims to critique).

As for the film itself, there's some pretty strange pacing choices. Right in the middle of the film they decide to basically just drop the mystery then go on a 45 minute explanation to the backstory of the mystery. Then there's a lame solution to the mystery and then we end with a pretty darn overt hammerfisted suggestion that society needs to burn, literally. Just 'cause.

I would take that message a little more seriously if the film wasn't made by the exact same type of jackasses who actually do buy 5 million dollar personalized sports cars and customized island mansions, which, once again, the film claims to despise.

Other than that, the story is kind of convoluted, lots of things don't really make sense on rewatching, and the biggest disappointment is Daniel Craig actually doesn't do all that good of an acting job, despite being amazing in the last film.
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Andor (2022– )
7/10
Wow, it actually resembles a quality series!
21 September 2022
Right off the bat, I'll say that this show is light years ahead of all the other Disney star wars shows in terms of quality production, writing, acting, and just about any other metric you can think of. While the other Disney series looked slapped together and low effort, this show looks like a meticulous amount of work went into it on all levels, it even looks like somebody actually cared about this production, for a change.

In terms of the overall look, the cinematics, this show actually delivers, and there's none of the corny cosplay costumes you might have seen in The Book of Boba Fett. My only complaint is that as good as it looks, it still doesn't really look Star Wars. The aliens, the ships, the architecture, it all looks off, and at times looks more like Blade Runner than Star Wars. This is a minor complaint though, after all the eyesores of Disney series and movies they've come out with so far, any progress is welcome. And i suppose, fans are just going to have to accept that Disney are going to be the ones who dictate what Star Wars looks like from here on out, as they do have many copyrights they have to work around after all.

As for the writing of the show, it's pretty darn impressive. We actually do get quite a lot of good, believable dialog, and the plot has a clear direction and logical steps that get us there. They might be a little too proud of their writing however, as there's a whole lot of lines that get said that admittedly are great lines, but probably should have been cut as they just distract from the overall scene they're in. Disney hasn't figured out editing yet, apparently, even though if you think about it, that's what their entire company was founded on.

I had a sinking feeling right from the start that this show would degrade in quality as it went on, and that it's impressive beginning was just a trick to snag some disillusioned fans back, but I think i was only partially right about that. The later episodes do tend to drag, and I think they could have easily made this a 10 or even 8 episode season, but it stayed pretty high quality even still, although they could have definitely focused on the characters and elements they already introduced rather than constantly adding new ones.

Overall, this is probably the only star wars product since the 1990s that I actually enjoyed. I'm not sure that making one good show every 25 years is a good basis for keeping this franchise alive, and I think Disney and star wars in general has a huge hole they need to dig themselves out of in order to win their fans back, but it's still a good watch.
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Elvis (2022)
7/10
Surprisingly good, but a very skewed perspective on the king
13 August 2022
People, apparently still to this day, like to think of Elvis as a symbol of purity, and assign any misfortune he suffered in his life to evil forces that were exploiting him. That's the basic premise of this film, and over the years tabloids and biographers have blamed just about everybody, Parker, Dr. Nick, the mafia, etc, for Elvis' downfall. The truth is, of course, that Elvis was way more responsible for his own demise than anyone else in his life who was exploiting him (which was most everybody around him).

That's one thing I was hoping the film might capture, in that yes Elvis was at heart a shy "Aw Shucks Maam," good ol' boy, but he was also an incredibly manipulative person, he had all the making either to become a celebrity or a cult leader (some would say he became both), and while many people took advantage of him, he also took advantage of many people. He had a definite dark side that was just as greedy and exploitative as Colonel Parkers'. There's a lot of details the film tends to leave out, like how Elvis drug addictions started long before the film depicts, like how his marriage to Priscilla began to flounder almost as soon as it started, and the simple fact that as lovable as Elvis was, he was also a flat out drug addled lunatic for much of the later 20 years of his life. This is a Hollywood film of course, and it brushes aside anything inconvenient to the narrative that Elvis never did anything wrong.

As for the movie itself, it's a bit disjointed and all over the place. They may have done better to just focus on one aspect or period of Elvis' life rather than a biography of his whole life that ultimately feels pretty shallow. Austin Butler does an amazing job as the King, but once again, I kind of miss the fact that they barely touched the fact that Elvis was flying high, rambling, and out of his mind for several decades, which honestly I've always found the most endearing thing about the guy.

Tom Hanks puts in a pretty confusing depiction of Colonel Parker, Elvis' dutch con man manager. He decides to use the strangest accent I think I've heard since maybe Charles Bronson in the Great Escape. If you watch clips of the real Colonel Parker, he didn't have an accent at all, he spoke perfect English with a convincing American accent. Ultimately, it's Tom Hanks though, even his bad performances are still pretty good, and I can't complain.

All in all, well acted, a bit spastic and jumbled, a bit too polished and too idealistic depiction of the king, and often falling short with its style over substance approach, but Austin Butler's performance makes it all worth it.
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4/10
Slightly Less Bad than Usual for Disney
1 June 2022
Disney has handed in their latest product with all the enthusiasm and quality you'd expect from a college freshmen turning in their end of semester term paper. You get a distinct feeling that nobody actually wanted to make this, you get the impression, in fact, that they were forced to do it. I don't know why that is, I personally wouldn't complain one bit if they just stopped producing low quality Star Wars products all together. Anymore I just check these shows out with a sick sort of fascination just to see how bad it can get.

So now we get to follow the adventures of Ben Kenobi. No idea why Disney chose to continue to story of the prequels, which were notoriously despised movies, but hey, I find it a welcome change from watching multiple series focused on dorks wearing dumb looking armor.

As for this show, there's not much positive. Ewan McGregor is good in it, as he always is, and it seems like he's genuinely trying to make this thing work, but it's just not happening. Apart from him, there's nothing really noteworthy about any other actor or character in the series. The special effects of the show are pretty lackluster, the costumes in particular look terrible, and the music sounds like it's from a late 80s synthesized MST3k quality movie. Overall it looks and feels generic low budget sci-fi, not Star Wars. The plot doesn't make any coherent sense, Kenobi is inexplicably unable to use the force, except when he does, and everything that happens in the show breaks continuity or seems to happen magically and without explanation.

One positive: They were finally able to successfully replicate Darth Vader's voice convincingly.

All in all, I'm slightly pleased to see this show is about 1/10 stars better quality than usual, but it gives me a sinking premonition. Disney Star Wars is just never going to be good. Is it?
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Inherent Vice (2014)
5/10
Huh...?
17 March 2022
A drugged up private eye goes about solving the mystery of his missing ex girlfriend. The case takes so many twists and turns that it's hard to keep track of, but going over in my head I don't think a single aspect of the case makes any sort of coherent sense, and the entire movie adds up to a montage of disconnected, barely coherent scenes. In tone, it's mainly about the drug culture in America in the 60s and 70s along with paranoia of police and government, but it's told from the eye of somebody who clearly wasn't a part of it, and only knows about the era by consuming bad movies and books.

This movie however, is brilliantly acted, and actually does have one of the coolest, understated, realistic action sequences I've ever seen in film. That's about all it has going for it.

Also...I think this is supposed to be funny.
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3/10
My mouth hung open the entire time.
23 January 2022
I'm at total loss, trying to figure out if the makers of this movie actually watched the original Ghostbusters, and if this new mess of a movie is a accurate reflection of what they saw in that film. If so, does that say something about our society? I've kind of wondered for quite sometime, if perhaps our very basic perceptions, as a people, are just fundamentally flawed somehow and maybe that accounts for why we can't make good movies anymore. If THIS movie is what a whole studio full of people came away with after watching ghostbusters (1984), then god help the movie industry, and god help western art and entertainment.

Ghostbusters worked because, above all, at it's core it was just a simple and effective comedy, and that's even without all the ghosts and special effects, those are just what elevate the movie into something so fun and strange that it's memorable. There is nothing funny whatsoever about this new movie, there were a few "oh, that's funny. I'm not laughing, but I guess it's funny," moments, and that's it.

The movie is an embarrassing, obsequious, groveling, sniveling little love letter written to the original. Rather than just trying to be its own thing, have its own plot, write its own funny dialog, it constantly just throws the ball back to the original movie for material. As much as I love the original, I'm not in love with any one element of the film, or any of the characters in particular, it's just a good overall movie. To see a modern dissection of pretty much element of it waved in your face is kind of unsettling and strange. It's like this movie was made by a group of space aliens who are using this film as a scientific study to see what it was, exactly, that people liked about the original, rather than being made by confident filmmakers who understand plot, dialog, comedy, and special effects (which sucked and looked cheap btw).

I just don't see why someone felt the need to commit this lame, forgettable idea to film.
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The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)
2/10
Fête the Fett
10 January 2022
I wasn't a fan of The Mandalorian and, so far at least, The Book of Boba Fett is worse than that show in just about every conceivable category.

Boba Fett was a mysterious, cool background character in the original films who, by the way, was also a VILLAIN. Numerous subsequent films and shows have successfully erased this character history and rebranded him a hero and made him basically one of the main faces of the Star Wars universe (because, you know, there's only so many cool characters from the original films to work with, and the creatively bankrupt corporate SW entity needs to stretch every last mile out of this franchise).

I was hoping, at least, that maybe we could expect a more edgy, more sinister character, going back to his roots in this series, but nope (stupid hope, admittedly, seeing how this is Disney after all). The series follows Boba's attempt to become a crime lord. Not a drug dealing, slaving, murdering crime lord of course, but a good, honorable, respected crime lord....whatever that could possibly be. Why not just start your own ice cream business on a desert planet, Bobs? Why get involved in crime at all? These scenes are intercut with a bunch of badly done background scenes of Boba escaping the sarlac pitt and falling in with a band of Sand people. The plot is entirely predictable: yes, at first he's capture by them and eventually earns their respect and eventually becomes one of the most respected members of their tribe. Literally the most obvious route you could go with that plot. Hey, how about he goes to war single handidly with them and against a criminal organization at the same time? It would fit his nefarious background, and maybe even be an interesting story.

By the way, can I say just how much I am sick of Tusken Raiders? It's been overdone, they're not very interesting, and their "HHHAAAAARRRK"ing is getting very annoying.

As far as production, it's not a well made show. The acting is pretty poor and most everybody in the series has a midwestern american accent for some reason, the original movies made great pains to give everyone interesting accents, inventing languages of its own, and making character's voices downright cool, this series throws that out the window. The practical effects, makeup and costumes all look corny and low effort, everybody in the series looks like a bunch of kids playing star wars, rather than being actual star wars.

Final complaints that I began to notice in The Mandalorian, and see here even worse. Could these characters please STOP STRUTTING when they walk? Walk normally, and another thing, when did Star Wars become the Matrix, where a Kung Fu fight breaks out every 4 minutes? You have high tech guns, you'd think you could use those.

Also, doesn't it seem like Fett's jet pack could basically solve like every tricky situation he finds himself in?

*Edit* After finishing the series, I really have nothing to add; besides asking the question: why is this show called "The Book of Boba Fett"? It has nothing to do with a book, and very little to do with Boba Fett.
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7/10
Very interesting narrative from the eyes of a narcissist
4 October 2021
In terms of being an actual tv production, this show is top notch. The acting, production value, and writing are all brilliant. Jeff Daniels throws in his best performance in quite a while, and I even enjoyed Brendan Gleeson's seething malignance in his portrayal of President Trump (even though I think it's probably not quite accurate and has more than a little personal bitterness thrown in).

The narrative itself plays pretty loose when it comes to the truth. There's many things this show expects the viewer to take as solved, undisputed fact, even though many of these "facts" are highly disputed, and have since even been flatly proven false. I don't find that really matters though as this is a tv show, and as always this is "based" on a true story, NOT a true story.

The real gem of the show, I find, is the narrative Daniels weaves with the Comey character. It's kind of a fascinating social statement told from the point of view of a high level bureaucrat, in his seemingly self delusional belief that his only fault is that he's just too darn good, too darned right, people just love him too darn much. He creates himself as Mary Sue, and seems to think if there's any fault in any of the proceeding events, it's not even conceivable that any of it is his. The FBI and himself, were just a sterling organization, and then the big evil meany bad women came along with her emails, and then the "Sammy The Bull" of business was elected, and it all went south for the bureau, and there was just nothing they could do to stop it, despite their personal amazingness.

I don't say any of this as if it's bad, I find this is a refreshingly honest, if maybe delusional take on the events. But it at least circles around what is perhaps the only real truth of the matter, if it doesn't actually hit the mark; which is that all people just live in that unique little shade of grey that is our own selective, self-serving morality, and we all tend to think we're doing good, even when we do something wrong. And in reality, there's no real heros or villains, especially on capitol hill, and it's just all messy people screwing things up and smiling as they do so, expecting an A on their test.
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5/10
A narrative mess
16 August 2020
This is a four and half hour long movie, which somehow seems to just barely scratch the surface of just about every subject that it touches is. It's a narrative mess that combines about a dozen different plot lines, and fails at executing any of them properly. The main character of the movie is Stonewall Jackson, yet even he feels like a minor character compared to the movie's story arc. Lots of attention in screen time is dedicated to the man, yet viewers still feel unconnected with him as they never really properly explain anything about the man, and we're largely bored and confused by his portrayal, despite even Steven Lang's masterful performance of the man. It's a great acting job yes, but we don't really know who it is he's portraying.

Instead of focusing on the main character, his background, why he was a truly great and complicated man, we're constantly distracted from him by many, many different plots. Jeff Daniel's Chamberlain, as seen in the previous movie, multiple unnamed union and confederate soldiers, townsfolk, lots of backstory of Robert E Lee, even John Wilkes Booth is portrayed, for some reason, for extended periods of time. All this time spent on story lines makes the viewer feel alienated and confused any time our main character, Stonewall appears, and we think, "Wait...who was this guy again?"

Jackson was indeed a fascinating character, probably the most fascinating of any of the confederates. He was modest weirdo of a man, employed as a professor at a military school, and was much despised by his students and fellow faculty because of his ineptitude as a teacher. He showed no sign of greatness, or even competence, whatsoever, before the war. He also seems to be a genuinely good man at heart, unconcerned with the conventions of the south aside from his ardent, zealous, devotion to Christianity. He created a bible school for slaves, teaching them to read, and the only slaves he owned were those he met through this, who actually came to him and requested that he buy them, knowing they'd be well treated under his roof. He was unconcerned with the politics of the war, and had always been against the notion of it. He fought for the confederacy simply because Virginia was his home, and that's what side it was on; which was the sole reason many other confederates fought.

What made him famous, however, was not his good nature but his absolute brutality, his single minded devotion to making his war as horrible and unpalatable to both sides of the conflict, in order, in his eyes, to reach the most humane goal of ending it quickly. Something dark and cold seemed to awaken in him, transforming this strange little professor into a rabid, brutal taskmaster of a general who saw men as merely a resource to expend in order to reach his next objective, which was always his sole concern. He forced march his men to death and starvation many times, in fact with regularity so, he constantly quarreled with his subordinates, court-martialing them for any perceived offense, openly admonishing their character and abilities, and he was an ardent believer in the "Black Flag," meaning no quarter for the enemy, all prisoners executed, no restraint shown in any way towards northern civilians (or even southern ones if necessary) or soldiers. He saw it as his godly duty to rampage, to show those who wished to see just what war was, and make them reconsider.

The film touches on the duality of the man, though very scarcely, very incompletely. It portrays him as basically a very good man, who just happened to be a successful general. When in reality he had become a deadly, horribly efficient destroyer of men, who just happened to be a very agreeable, if somewhat eccentric, good person at heart. The film, of course, doesn't get much into that dark side of him, which is shame because it's really the soul of the story, and we're left with a basic question that is never answered: why are we even watching this? What's interesting about him? Why are we watching a four and half hour long movie about this ultra-christian dork?

Of other note, Robert Duvall is pretty mediocre in is role as Robert E. lee, he resembles the real person more than Martin Sheen did, but lacks the command, the gravitas the later possessed. The film also has some of the absolute worst CGI scenes I've ever seen. In general ,the Battle scenes are more well done than Gettysburg, it does a much better job at depicted the massed numbers of men involved as opposed to the previous movie which seems to show Pickett's last charge as a couple hundred dudes marching through the field as opposed to the ten thousand or so it was in reality.

But at the end of it all, after watching this movie many times over the years, I'm left scratching my head, and trying to figured out: what story was it they were trying to tell here?
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5/10
Psychos battling swamp hicks
29 March 2020
This is a pretty confounding movie. It follows a group of national guardsmen on maneuvers in an inhabited an inhabited Louisiana swamp. Right off the bat, the military generally doesn't do exercises in civilian inhabited areas, because you know....tons of things can go wrong.

So...tons of things go wrong. For one, almost all the guardsmen turn out to be homicidal, sociopathic maniacs right from the get go. There's no slow buildup, one minute they're guardsmen and the next they're vigilante's stealing canoes and firing full auto weapons at the populace. Another interesting observation is I think the guardsmen are all supposed to be young, dumb, excitable teenagers and twenty year old, but all the actors portraying them look to be in their 40s or even 50s, so it comes off as even more strange.

There's no real subtlety to the plot, our hero guardsmen steal some canjun's canoes, then open up on them with automatic weapons, and are somehow surprised and even greatly offended when the cajuns shoot back. War ensues.

The movie has some pretty big technical problems, such as the weapons they're using are actually incapable of shooting blanks, unless you attach a very noticeable device to them to make the blowback cycle rounds. This device, btw, is painted bright red, and is a dead giveaway to any gun competent person that the weapon is firing blanks, because, you know, if you're firing blanks you tend to want everyone in the world know exactly what you're doing, so there isn't any misunderstanding where they shoot back at you with live ammunition. It's actually kind of designed to defeat the entire premise of this movie.

What the movie does have going for it is it does portray some interesting Cajun culture, which is something you don't generally see in films, and it actually does have one of the coolest explosions I've ever seen.
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The Mandalorian (2019– )
3/10
The best Disney Star Wars product so far, but still terrible.
1 December 2019
I'm actually somewhat awed that so many people seem to like this show. I have to admit it's the best modern Star Wars product since disney took over, but it's still an awful show.

The writing is horrendous. It suffers from the same flaws the movies have, which is that the writers don't even understand the basic concept of story telling, therefore it's astounding to see them tackle as something as difficult as a tv show or a movie. Watching this show, or the movies, is basically like trying to watch a a not-so-bright 3rd grader try to recount how the original movies went.

There's massive plot holes in just about anything that happens in this show, and you're constantly asking why on earth (or the galaxy, whatever) our hero is even doing what he's doing...and even he doesn't seem to know aside from it's what the script is calling for.

The main character in this is a guy in armor, A mandalorian, a word I used to pride myself on knowing back in the early 90s, but now couldn't care less. He's a good guy...you know, when the script needs him to be. He's a bad guy occasionally....but not really, he always does the right thing eventually. He likes uh....you know...stuff, and dislikes uh....being shot at? Except...i dunno, actually i think he says he likes getting shot at some point in the show. He never takes his helmet off, because. That's about it for him.

The entire "story" of the series is basically just a bunch of poorly thought out ideas that are brought into play in order to setup the next battle scene and then quickly discarded. The real heart of the show is the fight scenes, but none of them are done particularly well, they're actually pretty formulaic. Our hero goes into unbeatable odds with guns blazing, insert a couple of comic moments, and then the whole scene is magically resolved (sometimes literally) with our hero coming out on top because of some incredibly implausible turn of events.

It's fairly obvious that the Mandalorian is invincible, he falls 80 feet out of the air and lands on a bolder, he's shot numerous times, he's exploded, he's gored by a 40 ton rhino thing, never suffering any serious injury. It's kind of hard to take the series seriously when you know how every battle is going to end before they happen, and our hero can basically do no wrong.

The only things this series has going for it is that it's not QUITE as badly done as the movies, and yes the baby Yoda is very cute.
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9/10
Another good adaptation
30 September 2016
I was a huge fan of Franco's earlier Faulkner adaptation, "As I Lay Dying," so I checked this one out even though I wasn't aware of it's existence until just recently.

As with his earlier Faulkner adaptation, it's extremely difficult to understand. This is mainly because Faulkner's original book, The Sound and the Fury, is equally difficult. You can read the book, or watch the movie, and easily have no idea what it's about. This is the nature of the beast with Faulkner, and as I get older I start to wonder if he ever meant these stories to make sense. I'm leaning towards no, but I don't think it really matters as his stories aren't about coherence, they're more about emotion and pondering this strange existence we all seem to be stuck in, not logic or reason as perhaps is hinted at by Mr. Compson's nihilistic boozy monologues.

I don't envy the task of making The Sound and the Fury into a movie, but I think it was done about as perfectly as could be expected when you're talking about one of the most disjointed, out of time, and at times rambling and incoherent stories ever told.

I only have one major complaint, in that the black servants of the Compson family are barely depicted in the film. In the book they're much bigger characters and form a sort of moral, and even hopeful element to the story, as is somewhat hinted by the movie scene of the church choir.

A few other plot points are changed, to no real harm. The final thing that struck me was that Franco's adaptation has a slightly different ending, which doesn't really make any sense. Of course, the original book ending doesn't make any more sense...not that it should. We are, of course, all living a story told by an idiot.
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10/10
Excellent adaptation.
30 November 2013
I was almost shocked when i heard that they would be making a movie out of my favorite book, and the fact that James Franco and Danny McBride would be in it did not leave me with a good feeling. I was blown away, however, at what a great adaptation it is.

In fact, i'm not sure i'd even call it an adaptation. It IS the book. I cant think of any other movie that was truer to the source material. Obviously the book is much more long winded, and is filled with long, and often puzzling monologues from all the main characters. It's more dream like, and ponderous. But i cant think of anything that the movie left out, or missed, or put it's particular "spin" on, it was all dead on.

That said, the book is a difficult read. The movie is equally difficult. You could read the entire book, and have little idea what it's about. Similarly, you could easily watch this entire movie and be completely puzzled by it. There's a lot of important plot points that gets covered, and you barely even have time to realize exactly what it is the characters are saying. Once again though, the book is the same. Questions like: why is Varadamin's mom a fish? Why is Jewel's mom a horse? Why doesn't Darl have a mom? These are sort of answered, just like in the book, but they also seem completely absurd to even ask. It's a story more about the people involved in it, and not so much about the events that take place, or even the truthfulness of anything or anyone.

I would imagine most viewers will struggle to even understand what it is that the characters are saying, as they all have thick southern accents, Anse being almost unintelligible. Adding to the confusing is the fact that most everything they say is highly complex, poetry like prose that doesn't particularly care if you're following closely or not, they're still going to say it. Once again, pretty much how the book is.

So it's a difficult to understand book, and it's a difficult to understand movie. I certainly loved it, but i suspect most viewers will hate it.
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Arena (1989)
7/10
Man Punches Aliens in the Face
28 September 2009
Arena is a crappy, low budget B movie...but it's one of the best crappy low budget B movies ever made. Actually, it's what passes for a big budget Hollywood blockbuster, in terms of B movies.

The saving grace of the film is the quality of the special effects that go into creating some of the alien species in the film, they're actually pretty darn impressive. Of course, it's sometimes hard to be impressed with the film, such as even though the special effects are cool, the costumes the characters wear look like cheesy leftovers from the wardrobe of "Space Mutiny".

The main character is an unlikeable, one dimensional, somewhat confusing, and laughable muscle hunk. However...he's not AS unlikeable or laughable as most other B movie leading men, such as the many incarnations of Reb Brown. It tend to ads to the fun though, that you don't really like this character, and you actually would like to see a hairy alien kick his head in.

Similarly the acting and plot are definitely mediocre. However, being just mediocre is a huge step up from some of the B movie cousins of this film.

If you were to grade the film on a "normal movie" scale, i suppose it would only be a 3 or a 4. However, it's like the Special Olympics here, you cant really class it with normal films as it's quite obviously B movie cheese. And as far as B movies go, I'd give it a 7.
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RocknRolla (2008)
7/10
Good, but lacking surprises
14 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"RocknRolla" takes Guy Ritchie back to his famous "Gangsta" style movies that started off his movie career. There's no secret that this one is essentially the same as the last two. Just as "Snatch" was good but not as good as "Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels", "RocknRolla" is good but isn't as good as "Snatch".

Pretty much everything is the same as the last two, lots of the same characters, and basically the same plot. You have the good natured gang of likable buddy criminals, who of course only harm or steal from criminals worse than them. There's the super-bad crime boss, who controls his little niche in town, but ends up losing everything at the end. There's the highly valuable artifact that seems to have a mind of it's own, switching hands numerous times, and everyone in the film seems to be looking for at one point or another (The only new twist is that the artifact is introduced almost cartoonishly by a character proclaiming it's his favorite thing in the world, he sure would be mad if it went missing, but then freely lets someone he barely even knows borrow it, warning him to make sure he gets it back. I'd like to think this was maybe a little bit of sarcasm on Ritchie's part, for fans familiar with his movies, but i don't know). There's the hero, the leader of the good guy criminals, his adventures go awry, and the promise of big money turns into the certainty of death, but naturally he always comes out on top and in better shape than he could of possibly dreamed. Of course, there's the pivotal location where several outlaw sects are led to through their own independent actions, all arriving there at the exact same time so they can have a shootout, and only one gang emerges.

I could go on, but there's no need. Fans of the previous films can just guess what kind of characters, plot, and action they'll see, and they'll be pretty accurate. There's a few characters who show up that we haven't seen before, most notably the "RocknRolla" character the film is named after: a musician drug addict/philosopher, who thinks (Like most romantic junky characters) that he has everything all figured out. The only twist is that maybe he actually does.

Many of the characters aren't very interesting unfortunately, and some are simply put in to advance the plot, with no other real purpose. I feel they could of cut down on a lot of characters because they confuse things, or better yet: flesh them out more.

Ritchie's gangsta films are notorious for their quick and dirty action sequences, but this film takes somewhat of a break from that in introducing an all out, extended car chase/fight sequence straight out of Hollywood summer blockbusters. I somewhat despise the whole action genre, but Ritchie makes it refreshing this time around. The whole sequence is unbelievable, and over-the-top, but it's enjoyable to watch as the involved characters cant believe what is happening either.

It's a good film, but we've seen it before, and there's no big surprises anywhere. After three films, i really would like to see the big-dollar crime boss (who always seems to be the most interesting character) actually win. Or maybe have the good guy gang actually have to face the music for their criminal actions. My hopes for the latter were dashed here when, interestingly enough, in this one it becomes clear that there's been an informant who has sent several of the good guy gang to jail at one point, when he is found out...they don't blame themselves for committing these crimes, rather they blame the informant for sending them to jail. But...that's the charm of a Guy Ritchie Movie.

This film ends with something of a promise to expect the same characters (sans the many dead ones of course), to be back in a sequel. Seems odd to make a sequel of this particular one, as i personally found all the characters in this to be the least interesting out of all the films. Plus all three gangsta films are so similar, you may as well consider them to be a trilogy, and it seems out of place to make a sub-branch of one or the other.

All in all, it would probably be considered an excellent film by people not familiar with the previous ones, but fans of the other movies may feel it lacking, and a little redundant. I really do hope to see something with a new twist in the future, i think three really is the magic number of times you can get away with making the same film, no matter how entertaining the pattern it is.
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Natural Born Komics (2007 Video)
2/10
Funny...in a sad kind of way.
1 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I caught this on show-time at three in the morning, and i must say thats basically where it belongs, sandwiched in between "Busty cops 2" and "Bikini Cavegirl".

The first scene is kind of funny, a sort of hidden camera deal about Pauly hitting on women, then his best friend comes by to tell them he's getting married. The problem is that Shore describes to us EXACTLY what's going to happen in the scene before it even happens in his little introduction/setup to it. You'd think being the comic genius he claims to be, he'd know not to give the punchline away until the end of the joke.

The next scene is almost obscenely creepy, shore basically fawns over, and ends up publicly molesting a nervous black woman in a bikini, laying on a beach, while he wears a "disguise" which is just a hat and sunglasses.. He touches and strokes her inappropriately, cooing romantic pillow talk, while she laughs nervously, perhaps afraid if she shoots him down he'll freak out and kill her. This lasts about a minute,then he pulls his glasses off, and the woman recognizes him shouting"I'm on MTV!!!!", looking around frantically for the camera...shore doesn't inform her that she's just on low budget "comedy" special, instead he does the next obvious thing: mounting and dry humping her. Thanks a lot for that Pauly...I'm a grown man and now i have to check under my bed for a horned up Pauly Shore before I go to sleep every night.

Another scene is a parody of "Cheaters" which is completely predictable, and actually LESS funny than an actual episode of the show. Shore attempts to play a black man i guess (with no makeup, just his pure acting skill), who's fat black wife is banging a midget. Thats it, get it?

These scenes are inter cut with some of his stand-up comedy, you'd think seeing how this is his "big chance" to have another comeback he would find clips of himself actually being funny on stage. His jokes are predictable, and most of them have already been told by better comedians, sometimes the audience is even openly hostile towards him.

Shore then goes to a beach and pretends to be shooting "Chubby Girls Gone Wild", and completely fails to get any chubby girl to...go wild. It's fairly hilarious seeing him strike out so bad with chunky, unattractive girls, while the rest of the special he seems to regard himself as a rich playboy.

Things get a little better when Charlie Murphy shows up, and him and Pauly spoof MTV's "Punked" by...uh....totally ripping it off and calling it "Spunked". It's no spoof, they just do exactly what Punked does, except not to other celebrities, instead they just pick on a stuttering, non-English speaking valet parker. It's kind of funny, just listening to Charlie Murphy swear like a prison gang leader, but the fact that it's a total ripoff kind of ruins it for me. In another episode, two black guys are hanging out on Pauly's couch when his so called girlfriend walks into the room fully nude and dances for them. It'd be kind of funny if you did that to really uptight people, but the two black men love every minute of it, and seem completely unsurprised and unhumored when Shore informs them that they've been "Spunked".

Shore brings back the much hated "Weasel" character, in some strange parody where a bunch of good looking girls are stuck in a house with him, and speak for us by constantly telling him to shut up, trying to escape, and eventually killing themselves. Shore finally seems to understand that people hate the weasel character, but that doesn't excuse him for bringing Weez back AGAIN.

The show is funny in a "Laughing AT Pauly Shore" kind of way. To show his inability to "grow" as an "artist", almost all of the film and pop culture references are from the early 1990s, silence of the lambs, of course natural born killers. There's also a fairly long, bizarre, word for word re-enactment of "Scarface" starring Pauly as a badly impersonated Tony Montana...that ends with Tony taking his boss's kids to Disney world. I don't know either...

Even though the show is an hour long, the actual "show" itself is only a half hour. The rest of the special is Shore doing a "making of" type documentary about the show. Thats right folks...he's making a "making of" of the show that you're in the process of watching right now. It could be the first time ever that the "making of" was an integral part of the actual show itself, pure genius. There appears to be a time-space continuum that was violated here, and i'm surprised that the universe made it through the paradox intact. He goes through, and explains in boring detail, how he thought up, casted, acted, directed, and filmed all of the lame scenes (which amount to about 15 minutes of material minus his stand up comedy and commentary) that we just saw and didn't care about in the first place.

I suppose the "making of" really is the only funny part of the special, as shore admits at one part that he basically tricked someone into financing it, and what cracks me up is behind the scenes footage of the sketches is actually LONGER than the sketches themselves. It's fairly obvious we're just watching this because they ran out of ideas (or maybe financing) and couldn't fill a whole hour.

Near the end, Shore looks in the camera, confessing how proud he is of this project, and ordering the "Haters" to not bash it, because he worked really hard on it. I think he failed to realize that if the show was worth watching, he wouldn't have to ask that nobody bashed it.
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