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Reviews
Observe and Report (2009)
Once again
Once again we are taken for another ride down the path of showing male frontal nudity as the new creative comedy. I feel very lucky to be able to see these "edgy" comedies for free because in this economy there is no room for wasting money. On the other hand unfortunately, going to the movies or renting movies has become the viable choice for a night of entertainment. And comedies more than any other, have become formulaic and cheap. The powers of comedy, mostly Judd Apatow and his circle of usual suspects, have put out the same movie with the same characters, over and over again. Ignore them and perhaps we may see movie makers try harder. After all, money talks and lack of it talks even louder. And Hollywood is all about that.
Shadows of the Dead (2004)
Perplexed
I rented this movie. I take full responsibility for this. I will not forget this. Ever. What in the Holy Moses hell was going on in the head of the person who conceived this .....thing. Movie? No way. Bad teleplay more like it. The dialogue was dreadful enough only to be made more repugnant by Beverly Hynds delivery. She is the only actress I have ever seen who was acting trying to act. Five minutes into the movie and I was repulsed. I mistook her dramatic pauses for a series of gas attacks. I was more worried that the two main characters would live. I needed them to go. Quickly. But they didn't. And it went on...and on.....and on. Blockbuster should be ashamed of itself for renting this to me. I'm trying to defer the blame. Alas, I can't.
The Malibu Beach Vampires (1991)
What in tha hell???????????
Move over Manos. Back off Boogens. It doesn't take a Baby Genius to know that Malibu Beach Vampires (MBV for the rest of this tome) is now and always will be (unless someone makes a sequel to Zarkorr The Invader) the worst film ever. The only horror in this thing is watching it. I wonder if this was an attempt for someone to meet babes by casting a movie. If this was the case, the babes ain't babes just like this ain't a movie. It's dreck. No wait. I dishonor the word dreck by calling it dreck. Ulli Lommel (of Boogey Man fame) would call it "uber dreck" or Scheiße. It should be used to torture prisoners. If you find it on a shelf in a video store, back away from it quietly and notify the authorities.