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Reviews
Violent Midnight (1963)
CORRECTION! No Axe Murders!
I watched this film because of oddly good reviews and repeated claims that it depicted axe murders. Being made in 1963, I was curious to see how this was handled. I was in for a huge disappointment, because...
There are NO axe murders in this film. Not one. The first murder is by shotgun and all the others are via kitchen knife. Period.
Essentially, this is a mystery/slasher wannabe. The plot is very crude and amateurish--you will know who the killer is before the first five minutes of the film, literally. Even so, the film's producers plant incredibly large, obvious, deliberate "clues" as to the killer's identity two or three more times during the course of the movie.
They could have saved themselves the trouble. A child could guess the killer and the killer's motive is insanely improbable and doesn't really make sense.
Another distraction, is how ineptly photographed and lit the film is. Very bad angles, etc. make it actually difficult to watch.
And don't get me started on the script. The whole film revolves around teenage nymphets constantly throwing themselves at the male lead character. Everywhere he goes, they hit on him. This is pure fantasy on the producer's part. The only time women act like this in real life is when money is involved. Females have no libidos whatsoever in real life and do not try to seduce men everywhere they go just for the hell of it.
There are two good things about "Violent Midnight." One is lead actor Lee Phillips, who had come along way (down) since 1957's "Peyton Place." The other is James Farrentino, who is quite hot in his tight tee shirt and Brylecreemed hair.
For die-hard fans of the genre ONLY.
Whirlwind (2007)
Coulda, Shoulda Been Good
I rented this movie on DVD recently because of the jacket art. It featured a scorchingly hot young man with muscles, a hairy chest and piercing eyes. So I grabbed it.
Although the aforementioned stud is featured throughout in a prominent role, most of the film focuses on the maudlin, politically correct and rather womanish babble of a clique of NYC potheads. While none of them is particularly attractive or interesting, we follow their daily lives closely...a waste of film.
Adding to the turn-off is the obligatory, 21st century insistence on forcing interracial relationships on us (blacks or mulattoes making out with whites). This forced, political message further derails the film.
Overall, "Cyclone" reminds me of one of those neighborhood theater plays one sees in the Midwest: an amateur effort with unlikely dialog, poor timing and some rocky performances.
The hot stud on the DVD cover is the film's only saving grace. Aside from providing eye candy, he does the best anyone could with the hokey, improbable dialog. They should have built a different story around him with fewer supporting characters, a stronger plot and a more surprising outcome.
Not horrible, but not as good as the DVD cover art made it look.
Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Worth it for the hot dancer alone!
Yes, it's a lousy movie. Yes, it's inept. Yes, it's boring. But there are two things I actually like about "Monster a Go-Go!" The first is the opening theme song. Forget the lyrics...this is the classic '60s garage band sound all the way. It gets things off to a lively start. Unfortunately, as soon as the script kicks in, things bog down. Way, way down.
But if you're patient (or simply use the fast forward button), you'll find the movie's second asset around the half-way mark: a party where a gang of teeny-boppers dance the Twist. The story focuses on one of them...a bimbette who is dancing not with her boyfriend, but--behold! Scorchingly Hot Guy.
Scorchingly Hot Guy is an excellent dancer, which he proves while gyrating with Bimbette. Meanwhile, Bimbette's boyfriend watches and gets jealous. Soon, he'll drag her away from Scorchingly Hot Guy.
The scene ends and the movie plods along to its conclusion. We do not see Scorchingly Hot Guy again, although he is featured in the ending of MAGG's trailer, in footage that does not appear in the movie. For viewers with sharp eyes, this gives us an even bigger payoff than his appearance in the feature itself.
"Go, you monster, go!"
Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm (1963)
Summer of Fun on Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm
Like everyone else, I saw this as part of an MST3K episode and wished the puppets would shut up a minute so I could enjoy the show.
The film is a harmless, nostalgic trip back in time which the jaded, ghetto-emulating pot heads of 2013 could not possibly understand. However, if you were around in the 1950s or 1960s, you'll remember how simple and innocuous life really was for children...playing in the yard was a daily fact of life (no video/computer games, thank God) and the prospect of visiting the country (if you lived in the city) was a big deal. Even bigger if there were animals, always a huge attraction for children back then.
A most charming moment comes when the kids enter the barn and swing on a rope, diving into a bed of hay. Again, VERY nostalgic for those of us who REALLY DID JUST THAT as children! This little movie captures the innocent fun we used to have before acid rock, drugs, excessive politics in the media, etc. spoiled everything.
For grown ups in the audience, added pleasures may be had checking out the stud who plays the college-aged older brother (this was before all young men were fat, surly skin heads with tattoos). Come to think of it, Uncle Jim wasn't half bad, either. I'd do them.
My grandmother worked for Jam Handy as a model around 1940. So it was quite something for me to see that he produced this film years later. A quaint little curio probably filmed during the summer of 1962, given the family is driving a 1962 Chevy in a couple of scenes.
Janguru taitei (1965)
The first TV show I ever loved
When I was a very little boy, there were only three or four TV stations. I was too young to "get" most of the programming, so my mom would sit on the floor next to me and try to explain what was going on. I'd be okay for a while but would soon get confused. I'd look up at her questioningly and she'd interpret what was happening in "kiddie" terms I could grasp.
In 1972 I enrolled in kindergarten and soon discovered "Kimba" was on right about the time I walked home. I loved it. The theme song was great and Kimba was nice without being sappy. All his animal friends were sincere and likable too. From then on, I didn't walk home from school, I ran so as not to miss any more than I had to (it came on at 3:30, just when school let out).
Of course, just as it became part of my daily routine...I suppose they'd call it "appointment" TV nowadays...the show was pulled and never returned. Still, I never forgot this was the first TV series I loved and watched regularly. I hope you enjoy it, too.
Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959)
A great "family" film
Great memories of watching this movie on what turned out to be the last night of my carefree youth...
"Journey to the Center of the Earth" is a well-produced family-friendly film with a good cast and gorgeous cinematography. James Mason is perfect as is Arlene Dahl. Pat Boone even sings one of his ballads.
The special effects are quite good and the whole thing is pleasant diversion that leaves you feeling good at the end.
For me, the film has unforgettable meaning: I saw it at mom's house the night before my grandmother had a stroke, an event which triggered a series of strokes in my mother as well. I lost them both and the family never fully recovered. So whenever I see this film's title, it reminds me of that last, "perfect" day at my long-gone home.
Addams Family Values (1993)
Funny, witty film
I have such happy memories of this movie. I saw it when it came out during the Christmas season of 1993. We had a Christmas Eve dinner at my new apartment, my first year on my own. The folks came over and after dinner some went home but my mom stayed and heard me describe the movie, which I had seen a few days earlier with friends.
She thought it sounded hilarious and on a lark we went to see it right then and there. It had us both laughing almost non-stop. The film pokes fun at kids going to camp (a highlight), in-laws, dating, gold-diggers and the rivalry within families all to great effect.
Watch for the "slideshow" scene towards the end...priceless. A gem.