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The Charmed Ones (2013)
A Brilliant piece of Art
Everything about this piece of Art has simply been extraordinary. The Filming, the cast, the effects, everything you could imagine for a successful piece of art is right here. The Actors know exactly what they are doing and seem to pull off every single second as if they were the greatest actors on earth. This is simply Oscar worthy. It's hard to to assume that anything could even some close to competing with this. Definitely worth a watch and would simply recommend to anyone and everyone. One wonders if Hitchcock, Stephen Spielberg or Orson Welles could match any of the material shown in this true inspirational masterpiece. There only comes a few opportunities like this once in a life time. This is one of those great works of art that needs to be seen before you die.
Chappie (2015)
Every SCI-FI cliché
We start off the film with Vincent Moore portrayed by Hugh Jackman and his attention seeking mullet in an interview with them discussing Artificial Intelligence and how it can be too unpredictable but when we see the efficient heartless robots acting very effectively against the Criminals you immediately think the movie is going to take the side with the moral dilemma of how machines need to be without human emotions in order to best serve humanity as was clearly demonstrated within the first 15 minutes of the film.
The machines without artificial intelligence act with clarity turning the police force into a lazy obsolete institution and since the criminals are running scared as is very clear within the first few scenes with Chappie's interactions with the criminals that they are in dread of these machines meaning the machines are the true alternative to the police so the question arises why changes a system that isn't broken? After the Interview the begrudged Hugh Jackman begins to show contempt for Dean Wilson portrayed by Dev Patel when in a conversation with Michelle Bradley portrayed by the Sci Fi queen herself Sigourney Weaver who was more or less in this picture to give credence to the notion that this is a Science fiction film and she only turned up to say a few lines so she is practically nothing more than a Sci-Fi token from a former era when the title Science Fiction actually meant something instead of the usual storyboard CGI/noise fest we get today.
Once our hero Deon Wilson portrayed by the poorly talented and miscast Dev Patel discovers the solution to the perfect Artificial intelligence and therefore 'consciousness' which I use lightly which will become apparent for anyone who has seen this film. Dean Wilson then transfers Chappie's consciousness on a broken Robot once he has been turned down by Sci-Fi's beloved Ripley due to the half imagined excuse of, "insurance and red tape...you know how it is" I don't think the writers were even trying with that line or even cared.
Dean Wilson kidnaps the badly damaged robot and takes it out for a spin to who knows where. Ninja portrayed by Ninja comes up with an idea to help Yo-Landi portrayed by Yolandi (not very creative names) to escape and pay 'The King'/'Hippo' portrayed by Brandon Auret who I have to add was a lot of fun watching. Ninja thinks of a plan to turn off robots with a Remote Control and that becomes the motivation and exposition to their role within the movie because why not? Ninja and the gang kidnap Dean Wilson and force him to switch off the robots but if they watched TV which they clearly have they would know that the robots could not be switched off as it says in the News Report within the first minute of the film. They then come up with the second best thing of getting the robot to do the heist for them to which the Robot starts out at the intelligence of an Infant and grows and prospers into the endearing personality of a street thug who commits crimes and kills people within an inch of their life.
The story goes back and forth between them teaching a 5 years old how to say one word after another and by the way that is exactly as exciting as it sounds to Hugh Jackman getting more embittered with each scene and Wall-e/Chappie learning how to stab people and kill...I mean put them to sleep because they are tired from a long day of watching the grindingly slow scenes within the film.
After a very long list of sub plots from Hugh Jackman stealing a chip that leads nowhere to switching off the Robot Armed Forces in effect and Crappie discovering what 'real life' is like and how dangerous it is. The climax draws to a close with Hugh Jackman making things hell on earth to such an extent Ripley finally decides to give the orders to destroy Chappie with the 'Armageddon' machine that gets destroyed with one sticky grenade and blinded with 2 bullets, Hippo comes looking for Ninja and the gang which leads to the ultimate climax with Hugh Jackman's machine getting destroyed and then Hugh Jackman and the very 'unforgettable' and 'important' Yankie (Amerika) gets ripped in two and without any slow motion or another word spoken by any other of his friends at all for the rest of the film he is gone and that's that I suppose. You'll always be in our dreams 'extra' character.
Everyone one of the Ninja gang dies except for Loving father(sarcasm). Mother and the creator gets their minds transferred into robots and they all live happily ever after ending the film with some Anima song.
The moral of the Story? No idea. If you're a bad person doing bad things good things will happen and you will have loads of fun doing it.
The message of the story? No Idea. We should all become robots? Was this film any good or rememberable? not really.
Is this film worth seeing? Not really. If you've seen the 1980's Sci-Fi films you've seen this story told better.
The film is clearly reminiscent of Number 5 from Short Circuit just without the quality.
Frozen (2013)
Frozen is just OK but seriously over-hyped and overrated
First I am not saying that Frozen in a bad movie, in fact I thought the animation was impressive and creative and that's certainly the strongest part of the movie. I thought that half the songs were incredibly pointless and some parts just felt like filler. There were a bunch of fantastic songs and some were even remember able. I believe the weakest part of the story was the characters and the plot, the plot is centred around the ice queen substitute and what her fear influencing her power to harm others.
There was no real antagonist which possibly would have gave greater heavier weight to the story which really does seem to be lacking, when there is no clear antagonist, there is no gravity to the situation. The characters were all either bland or really annoying, the main protagonist is the usual stereotypical quirky dork that seems to be accident pro.
The twist at the end was extremely weak and anti-climactic, the twist being that the person who the main protagonist has fallen for is actually a power hungry villain. The antagonist is extremely forgettable and only the over-hyping super fans would probably remember the name. At one point the movie pokes fun at three of the Disney Formula's oldest and most famous Cliché's which is 'love at first site' and 'the prince will save the day' and 'first love's first kiss will conquer all' but it just seems to be Disney's reaction to officially stating that it recognises that times have changed and is more of an out of place, unnatural, forth wall joke, pandering to a main stream audience.
There were many characters that were just plain forgettable such as the Scandinavian looking merchandise store on the outskirts of nowhere, just to be forgotten as soon as he arrives so it appears more like a short family guy sketch then a full in depth character, this was just a simple distraction and regular filler until the story continues on with the weak plot. Talking of weak and forgettable characters, what did you think of the gnomes that appeared twice?
The story was very weak with little explanation of the Queen's duties, how this world functions? The origin of her power? The limitations of her power? Whether the power is Genetic or whether there was a prophecy or any background at all of how she got these powers or how the gnomes relate to all this?. Anyway Papa Gnome tells them that the young Ice Queen substitute that she will be unable to control her power if she has fear but he doesn't explain how he knows this. After this Papa Gnome wipes the main protagonists memory but doesn't explain his power, limitations, origin or purpose or there relation to the royal family in anyway at all. A weak plot all round, very disappointing.
You have to really respect Disney for changing up the formula but even still there appears to be cliché's in the story such as the light relief merchandising snowman and his never ending story arc of whether the Reindeer will eat the attached carrot nose, (very important to the story). The other is a very familiar Disney cliché's of the parents dying and every central character is an orphan, (the mentality seems to be if formula is not broken don't fix it).
In conclusion I can only say that the animation was incredible and some songs were as equally amazing but where Frozen falls short is the annoying, bland and some forgettable characters, the gnomes come to mind. The story has a very weak plot although a new spin on the story and it was good to see Disney change it's grand old formula but the hype doesn't do this movie credit and should be seen for what this movie is which is an OK movie with some great bits.
The Avengers (2012)
Novelty Hype Avengers
The avengers is one of the most talked about films in recent memory especially when it made such an explosion at the box office. The avengers was breaking and creating box office records left right and centre. The avengers you would think would be an interesting idea if done right and it most certainly has been.
There are 6 avengers members and there master nick fury which you would think with all the characters history and really complex individual story lines it would just be a great big mess just trying to fit them all in equally and there lives to fit into the story which is surprisingly done well but could be better.
Although the Avengers does great at fitting the characters in, that isn't always the case. On some occasions such as Bruce which is the Hulk, is given a more of a side character feel, such as his dilemma being the Hulk and given into anger is sidestepped a bit. There are inconsistencies in the story for example during the beginning they build up Bruce's character slightly (when not giving in to one liners and action movie formula cliché's). Bruce has to deal with his hulk anger issues and attacks the female avenger but later is completely in control out of the blue, which isn't bad, it could probably have been done better and built up more.
The movie of course does have some shinning lights in the picture, Iron man and Thor clearly take front row in the story due to Thor having family issues with the antagonist to resolve and Iron man's very big charismatic personality is hard to ignore and could be seen to take some of the spotlight in the movie.
The American avenger possibly needs more conflict in this movie like dealing with the modern day world or having a deep connection with somebody he didn't just share less than 1 minute of screen time. The American avenger is just the usual possible leader figure of the group, that is just there to deliver one liners and be the conflict with iron man.
The avenger with the cross bow didn't really have a developed background in comparison with the others but did instill some form of sub plot that could have probably been done without. To be fair even though well performed it wouldn't of made a real difference if he wasn't there, he doesn't add to the story and has next to no real conflict to speak of.
Nick fury which is performed by Samuel L Jackson which really does suit the role and definitely needed more screen time as this was simply the best actor in the film and the films greatest asset. There is hope that in the next film of the avengers there will be more conflict and story for this character, Nick Fury wasn't well developed in his background and didn't really have enough to do but was performed brilliantly.
The portrayal of Loki was an excellent role for the unknown actor Tom Hiddleston and really excelled at being the vengeful younger brother. This role probably would have been more fun if he had played to more humour(It's not that like he's the god of mischief or anything) instead we got a more one dimensional character that was bitter, jealous and ambitious which was just about it.
The script itself was not flawless there were a good few plot holes and a few lazy and convenient plot point to carry the story forward. The villain leader of the mighty alien army that the avengers was fighting and what seemed dark and mysteries figure. The villain came and looked like he could double cross Loki at any time and what seemed like a very fragile alliance came to nothing.(A waste of a very potentially brilliant story ark).
The film you could argue didn't really have enough tension in the story, the story possibly made it a bit to easy for the heroes and during the conflict. They had the attitude as if it was a sports match instead of the end of the world dilemma, so there was no real fear, dread or relevant emotion from the heroes and just stayed in the comfort zone characters. The villain Loki could have been made better if he had been a bit more humourful instead of the stubborn whiny, I want power now attitude.
The CGI in the film was amazing and used really well, not to the point it's shoved in your face or there is to much going on in the background to notice it. The CGI was used really well and found the right balance with making the dangers threatening and not overcrowding the whole scene with explosions, in every street corner until the audience get bored, the fireworks if overused to the point of having the same affects as sparklers on the big screen as the novelty wears off.
The avengers was a great film, not a flawless film and certainly no where near the hype it was given. The film is family friendly and does have a few good characters and a paced developing story. The film is something worth noting as a film that is definitely worth seeing not going as far as saying unmissable and does get to slow at some points but all in all worth catching if you have time.
This film is a good 7 out of 10 and definitely recommended film to see but could be considered overrated, to much hype and a dab of the novelty effect.
3 A.M. (2008)
Simply one of the worst movie's of all time
Paranormal ascendancy or 3AM as it is also known Paranormal ascendancy is a movie done in the knock off shop on the bandwagon of paranormal activity called the gravy train. This film is simply put, one of the worst movies that has ever been produced by anybody EVER. This you may ask is a hard statement to make but to begin this is made by the movie goers audience who keep asking for there money back.
Where to begin? Firstly and obviously Paranormal ascendancy has horrible acting, the acting in the movie is simply horrendous, the emotion that the actors express is the same as a person dressed as a gold statue makes in the normal town square, the actors never get excited, happy, bored or miserable. there is just simply no expression from themselves what so ever.
The young sister is one of the most annoying characters I have ever seen and that includes the likes of Justin Beaber and crazy frog. The sister is extremely repetitive and for an 18 year old she is the most childish character that you will see on screen. The director probably thought that having an incisively annoying character would take light off the fact that the movie hasn't got any ounce of credibility or integrity to its name.
The editing was simply schlock, the editing had extremes of not hearing what the people were saying at all, the speaking wasn't picked up (maybe a good thing) and the music was being so loud It made you think the film was closer to a musical or opera. There was no talent behind the editing, nor the very bad dialogue that we were forced to sit through.
The script itself had next to no consistency or effort put into it, the 3:00am bit that was meant to be linked to some kind of twist or clue came to nothing and the characters had next to no interesting or realistic relationships. so Razzie awards for continuity and plot holes then.
The graphics were just pathetic, the graphics were the same as a drunken fuelled nightmare, just sketchy and blurry without any sense attached to it. There was a radio scene where the two supposed protagonists were meant to meet up and listen to a ghost through a device but nothing happens and that just seemed from a filmmaking point of view, awkward, non-caring and poorly planned as it shows in the film from watching it.
There is a laughable point where the protagonist gets his wrists on his arm cut and just says, "what was that for?", in the most underacted, non-caring ways possible when the protagonist should be screaming in pain from his simmering wound drenched blood. The acting was simply appalling and it is all forgotten about 10 seconds later and the wound heals up conveniently just as quickly.
The film is certainly a sight for saw eyes, this will give you nightmare's but not in the right way. The film itself is a shambolic, non-caring, underacted, money grabbing, poorly constructed excuse for a movie. This straight to DVD abomination should be put as a punishment for those who commit the worst of crimes, it is simply that bad.
I give this film a deservedly 0 out of 10 and I would give it lower if I could.
F.Y.I if you want a bit of fun play the Paranormal ascendancy drinking game, every time you see something bad which is every 5 seconds take a swig. You will be an alcoholic before you know it and with any look you might be able to drown away the memory of this curse of a movie, but like a bad curse it will never leave you fully.
Iron Man Three (2013)
Worth Watching but overrated
Iron Man 3 Iron man 3 is an exciting new film from Marvel after it's very stunning Avengers line. Anyone who is familiar with Marvels film will not be disappointed by the usual arrogant characteristics of our main character as he tries to defeat our main antagonist which acts the part as well as the main protagonist.
The story itself is very grand and elaborate, the usual marvel story that appeals to the usual family audience which it pulls of very well. The story itself keeps very well and in line with the comic books story developments and characters, like in the comic books there is the usual arrogance and self satisfied exterior of our main character that helps any old school boy fans out there and will help the film win favour with the underground comic book society.
The usual idea of the unrealistic and elaborate story is one that will appeal to the usual comic book fandom everywhere. The outer world experience from the story is really felt, the villain himself is not to frightening and doesn't really stand out and even though the villain does have a simple aim and goal of heightening humans evolution pace but the plan is very impractical to say the least as he wants funding for his research even though he tries to get funding from terrorists but later we find out that was false and only a rouse or a distraction so where did he get the funding? the story never tells us and there are a good half a dozen examples like this.
The mandarin which is the villains identity later turns out to be a random somebody who is just an actor on drugs which once again is very elaborate and doesn't have explanation which is the only fault that we have with the movie, the fact that there are many plot holes and lose ends unexplained but they are unnoticeable problems. the film is worth watching, enjoyable and if marvel have shown us anything is they know how to do well at the box office and become a smash hit with the critics.
The kid that plays the role from insidious does a great job for a child actor as they can be the one annoying film in the film that happens to be the directors nephew that simply can't act. The wife of our protagonist which isn't really a rememberable personality. The one thing the film does lack a he load is simply character development and not necessarily a weak villain just not good enough to be remembered maybe the film should have had more build up and dialogue with our main protagonist without the usual cliché's and bad puns.
The best fact about the film like all marvel films is the good CGI, regardless of what weather you like CGI or not, the one thing is that it is used well, not to much and not over the top to point it gets boring, the 3D is definitely worth having for the cinema experience, they really use it well. I must say iron man has more explosions in this film then Rambo there seems to be more iron man suits get more blown than a Chinese fireworks nights.
yes so all in all a good film and certainly worth watching. I personally would give this film a recommendation to see and a good 6/10 but could be considered overrated.
The Pact (2012)
What an unforgivable mess of a movie!!!
The Pact (2012) Review
The pact has to be one of the worst films ever released on national theatre's it is simply appalling and does not reach any descent standard for a movie in cinema today. The pact has created one of the worst records of all time.
This gave us one of the best trailer's which has been seen on our screens in recent memory and presented everyone with a descent idea of what they were going to see when in reality the movie they saw was half unemotional, unattachable robots and the rest were card board cut out characters that had no character development and only presented the audience with enough anger and regret that they would ask for there money back.
The back stories of our characters started out with them talking of there mother which could have probably done with a flashback and build up of our main antagonist of why for example is he committing the acts of violence, why is he called Judas, why is the film called the pact when there was no mention of a pact or given any reason to suspect there was one.
The film starts off very cosy with the mother's funeral and our protagonist goes up to the body without even a tear and no indication of what the audience is meant to be expecting or feeling. Most of the shots themselves are just random, we sit a good 20 minutes of the film with cuts to bikes driving around and other completely unnecessary shots like watching a kettle make a cup of tea, how exciting.
The pact is a mind boggling experiment of how to bore the audience to death and not feel anything for the characters when they die, they have no personality, no idea of what they are doing and nothing that would relate the audience to them on an intellectual or emotional level so this is what makes our characters redundant.
Any characters that the director thinks we have just got to know he has to kill them off just encase the characters have time to develop there trait and personalities. Our characters if they are on for more than five minutes and dare pose a risk to actually having a good growing relation with another they are soon killed.
When we get to the story and break it down it has creates more questions than answers such as, what relation was Judas as he was named, not given a reason, they just leave it to the audience's imagination. When we actually get presented with our terrifying villain, what acts of evil does he commit? he robes milk from the fridge, climbs under a dog door when the police don't know who he is so why is he in hiding, was he always there? was the mother covering for him? we don't know because once again the movie never tells us, it's like its jigsaw piece with half the pieces missing.
The graphics are horrendous and are only a simple loud noise and camera trick, When we discover the 30 or so plot holes or so it doesn't put us off as much as the villain himself which doesn't get a line and neither does the last half hour of film you had might as well of made it a silent movie or maybe the script writer got bored and decided to stop writing.
Getting back to the villain himself when he's doing his acts of evil by stealing milk from the fridge and crying on the bed which is never explained either. He locks her in a closet for some reason not killing her which is what he probably should of done or kept the gun that was thrown away. She later gets help from the ghost and picks up the gun and shoots it into the criminals head(maybe he should of hid the gun or something, just saying).
The ending was bland and cam to nothing, the antagonist was not spectacular in anyway and all the characters were forgettable as soon as you seen them, they hold nothing for you to remember them for, no funny interactions or personality or what there habits are just these people die and are never mentioned and its like the don't even have a connection for each other.
The simple of the matter is that this whole film was rushed and you can tell due to the lack of developed characters story and this was due to the person making a short the company publishing these films asked him weather he had a full script as they were invested in producing the story he said he did when he didn't and made the entire script in 8 weeks which was absolutely the wrong thing to do when your going to release a movie without thought into theatres.
My conclusion of this film is simple, don't watch it and if you have seen it get the number of a good psychiatrist because this will haunt you for the rest of your life (not in the right way) and the memory might fade with time but it will never go completely to know that you paid good money to see something that a four year old could write in her sleep.
I give this film 0 out of 10 for effort and a 0 out of 10 for value for money.
I hope this article will help you come to terms with the fact you watched this movie the first step is admitting it and the other is moving on from the unforgivable experience of watching 90 minutes that you will never get back.