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keithhaugen
Reviews
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
One of the worst movies ever
This is a terrible movie with absolutely nothing to recommend.
Pete Davison is a terrible comedian and it turns out, amazingly, he is an even worse actor!!!
But don't worry, none of the other actors are any good either, except for Lee Pace, who smartly seemed to get his screen time limited so he didn't have to interact with these poor excuse for actresses and...
So he did not have to speak this ungodly awful dialog that is mostly just screaming and swearing. 10000 dead monkeys could write better than whoever wrote this crap. I didn't even bother to look who it was because they don't deserve to be remembered by name; only by this crap heap of a script.
But that is ok because the technical aspects and even the score are garbage, just to complete the growing pile of dung.
Absolute garbage.
Poker Face (2023)
Columbo was better at this
Columbo was a police detective who played dumb and let the criminals walk into his traps. Pokee face is about basically a drifter (not a cop, in her own words) who Jessica Fletcher's her way into murders, and is actually fairly dumb who seems always to set up the murderer's trap (unbeknownst to the murderer) and find her way into it and gets lucky to escape. They have managed to get well known guest stars, which helps some, but it may not be enough to overcome being annoyed by the end of the hour. If you have never watched Colombo, check that out first, which will probably turn into instead of.
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
I feel sorry for Florence Pugh
And ti some extent to Chris Pine and Olivia Wilde, bit they didn't have very many scenes with one of the worst actors I have ever seen, Harry Styles. The guy is a no trick pony. They had to add a completely nonsensical dance scene to big band music either to soothe his ego or because they wanted to get at least one thing he can do with some degree of proficiency in the film. And Pine and Pugh somehow had to act like it made sense when it was completely gratuitous. This movie may have had a chance to be something but it went off the rails quickly and in such a way there was no recovering it. Any actor could have done a better job. There are dead actors who could have been superimposed into the film that would have been better. What a huge waste of money and talent and all because of one pathetic actor's complete lack of ability.
Roswell, New Mexico: Follow You Down (2022)
Just when you think the show can't get worse
It does! Is it possible to have 0-dimensional characters? These people are so shallow and honestly stupid that you can't help but hope they all fail because that is the best they deserve. Not a single one of them is worth the paper or electricity the writers waste on them, and the writers aren't worth much more than their characters. This show had a chance to be good but failed spectacularly. Thank goodness it is almost over. 0 stars is too high a rating, but no one thought a negative number of stars would be needed. In addition, I am keeping track of any advertisements I see so I can avoid supporting anything that supported this crap fest of a show.
The Orville: From Unknown Graves (2022)
Almost ruined the best character
This gets a 0 for me because it almost ruined the best character. Hey, I know, let's take the most non-human character and because of a very selfish human let's take away his defining characteristic and make him just like everyone else. Thank goodness his creators were smart enough that he could purge the change and ti back to normal. Of course we then had to see the selfish human perform a "selfless" act. What a joke.
Throw in another attempt to mash the entirety of males, and this is a real winner of an episode.
Pathetic.
Roswell, New Mexico (2019)
These characters show the worst of humanity
The characters in this show a recall self-absorbed and all have the worst traits of humanity. Their priorities are all messed up and their lives, and this the plots, are all surface and nothing below. They are the most shallow and some of the worst characters and people you could know. The aliens are no better, except for the ones trying to save their own species. If they have to get rid of this strain of humans, I am ok with it. I am also going to note the shows writers so that i can avoid watching other shows they work on. If you write what you know, thesecwriters know nothing that is useful or entertaining. Judt whiny surface level garbage.
If I could give fewer than 0 stars I would.
Roswell, New Mexico: Kiss from a Rose (2022)
Wow, this was bad all around
This episode had some of the worst writing, the worst plot lines, and the worst acting I have seen in a long time. If you can't find an hour of decent plot for an hour long episode than combine two episodes or make it a half hour show. Putting in worthless fluff of sex and sugary romance scenes is a waste of time and other things. It is pathetic.
The Flash: The Man in the Yellow Tie (2022)
Either family or selfish and probably evil
Thanks, Flash, for letting Diggle remind all of us that choose not to have a spouse and children that we are apparently selfish and evil. That it is "no choice at all". Go to hell and take your sanctimonious bull crap with you.
7 Splinters in Time (2018)
Pretentious directing makes it crap
This movie with the plotline had a chance to be something decent. Instead the director made a pretentious, elitist, attempt at arthouse crap that is supposed to impress us with his scene cuts and the gritty style. Instead it makes us wish someone who knew what they were doing directed it, look up the name of the director, and make sure never to watch the films directed.
New Amsterdam: Unfinished Business (2022)
This should be a half hour show
If the writers can't come up with plot lines and scenes that aren't soap opera crap, like infidelity and babies and worthless junk, then cut the writers and cut the show length. Absolute garbage,but at least fast forwarding through it saves time in my fay!
FBI: Scar Tissue (2022)
No sympathy for disobeying process
The fact that Isobel does the wrong thing and her father dies the right thing per U. S. judicial process to protect citizens rights and then save tries to guilt him and we are supposed to sympathize with her? That's absolute crap. She should be suspended or fired for that, not felt sorry for. I guess it just mirrors some of the actual bullies and jackasses in law enforcement though, which have forgotten or never cared about the way it is supposed to work.
Astrid and Lilly Save the World (2022)
Getting worse and worse
This show may have had a little promise at first, but it has gotten exponentially bad quickly and any comparison to Buffy The Vampire Slayer is an insult to Buffy.
Batwoman: We Having Fun Yet? (2022)
Rooting for Marquis
Ryan Wilder is such a selfish, close-minded, and idiotic Batwoman that I was hoping Marquis would be successful in his attempt to kill her by pushing her out of the blimp.
And trying to destroy the best character on the show, Alice, by rewiring her brain with the joy buzzer is an even worse bit of writing than Wilder's Batwoman!
None of the 4 main hero characters are worth investing time in if you haven't already. They are terrible characters and pretty terrible people.
New Amsterdam: Two Doors (2022)
Running out of medical plot
Just like House,the writers are running out of medical stuff to fill the 42 minutes of plot andit is turning into just another soap opera. The amount of time wasted listening to Max and Helen have phone sex, and just wasting Freema Agyeman that way, is pathetic. Turn it into a half hour dramedy and get rid of the soap opera garbage.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Boring storyline
They picked the one storyline I couldn't care less about and turned it into the whole movie. Sure, get Trinity and Neo again, but then have them actually do something.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Dr. Strange was awesome
But you decide for yourself of it is a good thing Strange was the best part of a Spiderman movie with 3 Spidermen. It was kind of just a rehash if the Spiderman movies that came before it.
Fear the Walking Dead: Six Hours (2021)
I wish I could give it a negative score
I just didn't care about the people or the circumstances in this episode. If I wanted to watch babysitting, there are much more entertaining shows to watch than this garbage episode.
Cruella (2021)
Impressive
Making Cruella a sympathetic character and pulling it off is a very impressive feat for everyone involved. Kudos to Emma Stone et al!
Kung Fu: Attachment (2021)
Terrible examples
Apparently stealing tickets to a sold out show, having sex in a library, and being dependent on a boyfriend to make you stronger are all good examples to write about. If the writers can't fill an hour show with actual content either fire them or make the show half an hour and cut out the useless crap.
Charmed: Perfecti Is the Enemy of Good (2021)
Hope what the Perfecti said comes true
This show needs to get rid of the 4 dumbest, most selfish, self absorbed, and self entitled characters on TV and make Abigael the main character. Hopefully the Perfecti were right in saying a big danger is coming that will off the Charmed ones. Maybe it will be Phoebe, Piper, and Paige to get rid of these idiots.
New Amsterdam: Pressure Drop (2021)
By far the worst episode
That everyone would just accept the terrible idea of making all those changes at once, likely sacrificing a definite now for an.unpredictable future, is naive, ridiculous, dangerous, and stupid.
The Carbonaro Effect (2014)
If you like smarm, watch this show
The smarm of this guy, including how impressed he is with himself to be on TV "amazing" people, makes this person unlikable and this show dreadfully unwatchable.
Magnum P.I.: First the Beatdown, Then the Blowback (2021)
Cookie cutter and poor examples
This is a great episode if you like worn out plots about throwing fights. Also in a second plot the police sre complicit in a crime rather than following procedure because the criminals are the "sympathetic" main protagonists. They all should have been arrested and gone through due process.
Lovecraft Country: Strange Case (2020)
If you miss this episode...
Congratulations! You missed nothing worthwhile and no matter what you did with that extra hour you are far better off.
Blindspot: Iunne Ennui (2020)
Half good
I would give it a 10 but only second-rate Remi/junky Jane kicked the bucket. The episode would have rated a 10 if worthless Weller would have gone with her. At least Patterson and Rich, the best characters, survived.