Reviews

This movie is at best a cheap documentary, at worst it is an exercise in marketing.

In order to make their model work, the filmmakers made numerous assumptions and omissions to lay all the blame on the teachers unions. This is not to say that all teachers are good teachers, or that the unions aren't self-interested parties. While that may be true, it is still only half the story. They completely omitted school underfunding and poverty to make their argument work. They also assumed that all students want to learn, and we know that that isn't true. The movie has enough holes in it to drive a bus through.

It is basically a whitewash.

Don't tell those robots that I told you this; they are very sensitive. Transformers is an adequate film adaptation. What it lacks in plot it makes up for in extraordinary animation and effects. It all begins on the premise that there are ancient intelligent robots out there in the universe, fighting a millennium long war. I trust that you already know this. It also begins as so many movies do, with a dude humiliating himself to impress a girl (Mikaela=Megan Fox), a real fox. Who didn't see that coming?

The plot of the film is minimal at best, a set of short stories haphazardly assembled into a dizzying adventure. It might have been the filmmaker's intention, to create a pseudo documentary. The script is also believable, with very little thought put into it as if the actors were winging it. Maybe they were? One thing that is unmistakable is that the effects will be unmatched for years to come. A solid 1/2.

Epic Movie is a disappointment in the genre of parody. In my time I have seen a number of good parodies, from Scary Movie to Spaceballs. This film is not remotely of that quality, but it is surprisingly funny. The humor is pointless, much like it is in the Family Guy series. It makes way to many references to brand names and celebrities, and not at all with the talent of the South Park crew. They are still my benchmark in comedy. I will let you in on the part where they mock Harry Potter; it is the most sidesplitting part of the movie.

Now some of you may be thinking that it is disrespectful to mock the "Epic Movies" noted in the film. I disagree; given their success it would be disrespectful to not mock them. Only than can we show the creators that we care enough to make fun of them.

In the end it deserves 4/10.

I will be frank with you; you will almost certainly want nothing to do with a fast food burger after you see this movie. Unless you enjoy feces in your meat or knowing that innocent Mexicans are being cruelly exploited to make your burger. The reckless treatment of the food by the restaurant staff may even be plenty to turn you off. The movie overall isn't the most well directed, but it more than gets its point across. The characters lives mesh together in a depressing charade of greed, desperation, and misguided attempts at animal liberation. The cinematography is adequate and is to be expected for a documentary. The acting of the cast isn't magnificent, but it suites the film well enough. In the final analysis, you will know how they can make a burger for 99 cents.

Iraq For Sale is a truly horrifying documentary about the state of war profiteering in Iraq as allowed or encouraged by Washington in the United States. Not to be misunderstood or understated, it is terrifying how reckless the companies mentioned in the film (Halliburton et al) act towards their customers (US Military) and their employees in pursuit of the mighty dollar. Sending out trucks on delivery missions empty because they can charge the government for sending them to the bases. Providing dubious contaminated water to the troops from their water treatment plants, and charging $100 to wash a bag of laundry to mention a few. What is even more terrifying is that the Pentagon just ignores the abuse or gives the companies a slap on the wrist for their trouble, all the while continuing to funnel billions or more dollars into their pockets. I used to accept that war was about ideology and defense, this documentary proved me wrong. War is about the pursuit of wealth and power!

Very Phony News

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire is a surprisingly charming and refreshing interpretation of the continuing misadventures of our young heroes at the dysfunctional school of Hogwarts. It begins naturally at the Quidditch Cup, an ongoing source of weird games. Before the players get to play very many games, they receive unexpected guests that would never win a fashion contest. Dumbledore? Best to cut it there!

Despite our best efforts, they return to Hogwarts were Mr. Goblet selects Harry Potter a.k.a Daniel R. a.k.a cheater to the Tri wizard Tournament??? Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. There is one segment of the story that is totally gay! Don't worry, you can't miss it. Potter et al (Emma W.) (Rupert G.) have a very challenging time. At last, our troubled if misunderstood friend Voldermort returns.

Overall, the movie is a substantial improvement over the last. Better acting; better directing, and the rest. For that, it is a 9/10.

Filed 10:00 P.M CST

Phony News

It is believed by some that Batman Begins is an extraordinary movie and probably the best of the Batman series. It begins with our young and well off hero Bruce losing his parents to a random act of violence in the highly dysfunctional and wild city of Gotham. In an act that will likely be regarded by leading talk show hosts as very cool, Bruce embarks on a quest for vengeance. This brings him into the company of some very bright if misguided characters some years later, the "League of Shadows". They educate him on the errors of his ways and the wildly successful hobby of the Ninja. After which he embarks on an ambitious mission to liberate Gotham city from its corruption. The movie is unique in that it is considerably more plausible than its predecessors. The criminal's motives are very clear-cut, being mainly greed. The crime boss is also a believable crime boss, and isn't dressed as a circus freak. Batman also incorporates a number of advanced but feasible technologies to accomplish his tasks. The tricks aren't just smoke and mirrors. The film is worth 9 out of 10 stars.

The movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" is nothing less then a glorified candy crazed retarded freak show for the chocolate junkies inclined. It begins by setting up an air of mystery and mystique around Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and it ends with an important lesson. You can acquire unexpected things from candy bars. The movie is at the very least, weird! The score chosen for the film is wacky and seems like it was contrived overnight. Mr. Chocolate Brain Wonka behaves so weird that you might wonder if he is a pedophile or sociopath. Michael Jackson will certainly come to mind for many of you, I'm sure. The Chocolate Factory itself is like some sort of theme park. All the whole, the film is weird story that seems like it was written overnight and should only be viewed as a form of punishment. Harry Potter, Lemony Snicket, Shrek, Finding Nemo, and just about every family movie on planet Earth is far greater then this film.

This film is a transitional movie; it is neither a full documentary nor a full drama. It is an excellent movie about everything that you have always wanted to know, but was afraid to ask. The film is at the least a believable story about Kinsey (Liam Nielson) life and a warning to the rest of us of how repressed a culture can become. I think that the courtship between Kinsey and Clara (Laura Linney) is understandable given the period. As is the response that Kinsey received for his work. The film contains some things that you would never expect to see in a feature film, but that is part of the fun. You will learn things about yourself and your fellow man/women that you never expected, or wanted to know. If you want to come to understand a certain part of yourself, then see this movie.

South Park is the best thing ever to happen to animation! Really, I'm not lying. It is far superior to the Simpson's or the Family Guy. The Simpson's is funny yes, but in my experience the plots are tame. Yes, the Family Guy is funny also. The humor is very often insensible and pointless. If you want comedy from the big boys, then there is South Park.

I will not even try to generalize the plot of South Park; it has been in play for far to long. Each episode is nearly always a story over itself per episode anyway. It is a story/comedy/commentary about current events in the United States of America. The twist being that it is saturated with liberal type philosophy. Any foreigners reading this? Psss, this show is an excellent portal into my great superpower dysfunctional hellfire nation. It is also very adult humor; the profanity in the show would fill volumes. But who cares about that? It is generally quite funny and nearly every episode comes with a moral lesson attached to it. If you are cool, you are already watching it. 10/10

It used to be that Star Trek was great. The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine series were often rich in original and creative plot lines. I must admit that the execution was oftentimes lacking. Please, do we really believe that every alien civillization will resemble a human society, and often in the literal sense? With the rise and fall of Enterprise (These plot failures apply to Voyager too), it is becoming painfully clear the writers responsible nolonger understand how to write originally. Thankfully Babylon 5 and Stargate SG-1 picked up where they left off with the former far exceeding my expectations. Returning to the Star Trek Enterprise enterprise, it would have been wise if they had expanded their plots significantly.Running arcs over several seasons and never resolving everything at the end of an episode. It would also have been wise if they had invoked social issues like their predecessors and competition. Issues such as institution power and corruption which we all know are very popular motivations by human nature.

Overall, I give 4 out of 10 stars to the series.

It is said that all knowledge comes from introspection. If viewed from the original novel, the movie's screenplay is very incomplete. Given, it is a story about magic! But its explanations as to how many of its important events occurred are impoverished. First and foremost, Mr. Black's escape from the prison of Azkaban isn't explained. Nor is how Miss. Granger came to be in possession of a time-travel device called a time-turner. In retrospect, the primary theme of the entire movie amounted to the belief that Mr. Black wanted Potter dead. Moving on, the production of the film was very good. The special effects captured the events as I expect the writer Rowlings intended. The performance of the actors was sufficient, but not great. Well, whoever plays Granger is nearly as annoying as the fictional one in the original text. The guy who plays Snape is also nearly as creepy as the fictional one. The beginning of the film is excellent, and quite hilarious. It also seemed as if the entire story could have been told in a film three quarters as long, including the omissions as mentioned above. Overall, I give it a 8 out of 10.

WOW is the word which best describes this program! It is an epic story of legends in a world that is believable interpretation of the future two and a half centuries from now. It is set in a world where humans are now a space faring race, capable of crossing the galaxy in months using a technology called a Jumpgate. The people of Earth have at this point come together in corporation to form a world government known as EarthGov. The humans aren't alone; they occupy the universe with mysterious races like the Vorlons, Shadows, and Minbarie. The leading heroes, Jeffery Sinclair and John Sheridan are captains in EarthForce, but they soon prove to be much more. I dare not enter into the plot since it is redundant on account of it being available at this site and elsewhere. All I will say about the plot is that over its five years, it is an extremely wealthy arc of sadness, joy, comedy, and horror! It is also not without substance, full of philosophy about life, existence, war, and hope. Each episode represents a coherent story, but incomplete since each builds upon the rest. The series is essentially an extended mini-series. Like Star Trek before it, most if not all episodes are constructed with a moral or lesson attached to it. Each episode also addresses some aspect of real human experience. The quest for power, revenge, love, and corporate power to mention a few. I believe that the episodes "Z'HA'DUM", "War Without End 1 & 2", "Whatever Happened To Mr. Garibaldi?", and "Endgame" are some of the best of the series. It is also the only television series that I am aware of that was made better than most Hollywood movies! Watch it, or I will get you.

So, you don't like my comment? It's not your fault, I'm not even using proper grammar. Would it help if I swore to you that this movie is hilarious! It is as long as you have a flavor for dark humor, or at least humor in less than good taste. If you like South Park, then this movie may be just what the movie doctor ordered. Now, in a nutshell the film is about the misfortunes of the Baudelaire children. The eldest Violet is the quick thinking leader and a very talented inventor. The second younger is Klaus, the all knowing know-it-all bookworm. The baby Sunny just likes to chew on things. They don't function independently, but instead corporate to achieve their goals and survive. They must, for they are being hunted by their evil distant relative Count Olaf. The details are extensive, and I would spoil the fun to reveal them. I will say that the screenplay of the film suffers from one important shortcoming, the fate of Count Olaf isn't explained. He is captured for his misgivings when he fails to marry Violet, but his escape is left solely to the imagination of the audience. I will also say that the events that lead to so much suffering and the solutions revealed in the plot are ingenious. The world of the story resembles a dark netherworld reminiscent of Myst. I would consider the performance of the cast to be believable and dramatic, but for the screenwriter only allowing the children a statement or two per scene. The performance of Jim Carry is quite excessive, but it complements the character Olaf positively. I see great potential for any sequels. The film is overall quite excellent, I give it a 9 out of 10.