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Reviews
Black Mirror: Demon 79 (2023)
The man who dances from Boney M
I freaking loved this episode. I've been an "Black Mirror" fan since season 2; before Netflix pick the show up. I came across the show when I was on a BBC network kick years. Other really good BBC shows that led me to Black Mirror are "Misfits and Skinz". These two are must watch shows for British TV show fans. And the British show "UTOPIA".
This is easily one of my favorite episodes next to "Nose Dive". I always enjoy coming across new actors and actresses that I have never heard of (especially when they have acting range). I was familiar with none of the cast members. I point this out because Black Mirror is known for its guess star appearances. In this particular episode; that is not the case. So I wasn't expecting much. But, at the 7:37 mark of the episode, when the Boney man is dancing around on the stage; I instantly thought to myself "this is going to be good". And it was!!!!!!!!! And don't even try to convince me that the "Rasputin" song was not catchy. Loved this episode of Black Mirror.
Interview with the Vampire (2022)
Love it!!!!
I freaking love this show. It has to be stated that I grew up with the original (I saw the original movie in theaters and loved Queen of the damn). So, I was more than nervous about watching this. Things that I did not want to see: a poor man's version of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and a watered down version of the adaptation due to the fact that it was on AMC. I got none of that, this show was amazing. The actors and actresses had an insane amount of chemistry. Plus I loved the fresh perspective considering the time in which it is being released. I think what floored me most about the production is the fact that I didn't expect much from it. I was blown away. Love it!!!!!!!!!
The Last of Us (2023)
Hardcore fan of the Game
With that being said; I was nervous about how much the show was altering events that took place in the game. But episode 3 was amazing and episode 7 was insanely good as well. Who knew that dancing in Halloween masks could be so fun. This differently is my new favorite HBO show next to "Doom Patrol"!!!! When the show first started, I was overly critical of the casting. The actor playing Joel was pretty much spot on. I cannot say the same for Tommy. Everytime I see this actor in a scene; it throws off the believability of the show for me. The same with Joel's daughter. With that being said, every actor involved in this project does an amazing job. And I always love how HBO recycle actors from previous HBO. Did anyone else notice Tara from "True Blood"? Awesome!!!!!!
Stranger Things (2016)
Its about TIME
Season 4 is really good. Considering how long it took to put this one out, I'm really happy with the direction this season took. I love the other seasons as well, but as a true horror fan, this is the transformation the show needed. Plus it has gotten dark in alot of ways, but I do feel as if the director's really wanted to push the envelope on this one.
Utopia (2020)
Loved the Original, hated this one
This happens so often and I wish America would come up with some original ideas and stop remaking classics. Example: Being human UK vs Being human US and Skins UK vs Skins US. And now Utopia UK vs Utopia US. THE US VERSION SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This version better not make fellow tv watchers go astray from the original. I hated this one very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lovecraft Country (2020)
F####### Love it
I have truly not reviewed in awhile, but i had to for this tv show. For all the reviews that give this a 1/10; I guess we know who they voted for. lol. I assume they saw something about themselves in the first episode and started crying. This show is amazing. Yes the animation could have been tighter, but everything else makes up for that short coming. This can easily become a cult classic if advertised right.
Russian Doll (2019)
Love it
I cant say anymore than that. Ok I Really love it.
Hard Candy (2005)
Almost but not quite(well maybe)
Alright, I'd first like to start by letting those who might gaze upon my review know that I was actually stoked about seeing this movie. So much so, that I even denounced X-Men 3 and Silent Hill. This was(was being the operative word their) the first movie that I had been excited about seeing in I don't know how long. The trailer for the movie was ingenious, I mean it didn't give to much away and it seemed like a new idea had been spawned in the movie genre. That being said, this movie was nowhere near as good as I thought it was going to be. I'm not saying I didn't like it, I'm just saying it's pretty bad when the trailers for other movies(the opening trailers) were more exciting then the actual movie itself. I can actually remember saying to myself at one point(while watching Hard Candy)"Damn, that "BRICK" movie looks like it will be kick ass". Not to say that the movie is dull, but it is pretty slow at times and certain scenes shouldn't have even been in the movie. For instance, the scenes with Sandra Oh were so pointless. Outside the "supposed" suspense scene were Haily and Oh's(see I don't even remember if she had a name) charter exchange kiwi like lines towards one another; their was completely no use for Oh's charter. This is proved by the vast disappearance of Oh's charter right after her quick introduction.
PERFORMANCES: OK, after seeing Hard Candy for myself, I can officially say that I'm sick of hearing people talk about Ellen Pages performance as though it was "Genuine". I'm sorry but my definition of a "Genuine" performance is a performance that you can't imagine any other actor or actress pulling off other then the original. Like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange for example. I could have thought of at least ten actresses in the biz who could have pulled off Haily on a bad day. Not to take anything away from Ellen Page's performance(I really wanted her to overwhelm me with her performance), she was awesome and I can see this particular performance getting her some form of media fame, so more power to her. I'm pretty sure that cutting off a mans' balls will at least land her five or six more film after this one, or at best will make her an idol god amongst feminist protesters. I won't go to much into Patrick Wilson's performance solely because I thought he did a great job(but I could think other actors who could fill his shoes as well, like Sameul L Jackson,LOL, yeah right).
Your probably wondering why I gave the movie a solid 10 when it seems like I'm bashing it harder then the Nebraska prom queen. This is because despite the flaws(the flaws I saw) of the movie, I still(on some level) think that it's worthy of a 10. If not for the performance, then maybe for the fact that the movie was bold enough to be made in the first place.
Overall the movie is good for seeing it a least once and it's also even worthy of a DVD sell(I'm f ucking buying it), but it does not deserve all the hype that it's getting.
P.S. I saw Silent and that movie kicked ass.
Scarecrow Gone Wild (2004)
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEll first and for most I'd just like to say that I'm back out of retirement from writing well deserved comments about horrible movies. Only the movie in titled "Scarecrow gone wild" could bring me back, so here I am.
With that being said, I like to start off with this comment. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This movie was really horrible, I mean I know it was going to be bad. But I had no idea that I would be spending 60 minutes out of a possible 90 minute film laughing at what I thought was a horror movie.
Let's start with the biggest flaw of the film (to me that is). Ken Shamrock. Now if memory serves me correctly, Shamrock is one of the worlds most dangerous men. Now if memory serves me again, he was also in this stupid movie being a stupid comic relief (or that's how it looked to me). I mean how else do you explain all of his lines. My all time favorite line of his in this so called movie was "It's been a long time coming". OK????????? The funnest thing about that line was that no more then five minutes prior to him say that, he was sitting on the beach talking to the soon to be dead kids about how the dam scarecrow could not be killed. So if he has knowledge of this, why on earth would he start trying to combat it as soon as he sees it (the scarecrow that it). Like I said before, he must have been the comic relief, except I don't think his UFC buddies where laughing.
Now that I've finished that well deserved paragraph on to the movie.
I'll admit that I can't remember a lot of scenes, and that's not good considering that I just watch the movie no more then fifteen minutes ago. So what I'm going to do is list the top five things wrong with this film 1. Usually when horror movie monster have their own theme music, it's not heard by the victims or even by the monster itself. So why were just about every person involved in this movie able to here this pathetic whistling. I mean I saw the scarecrows face and nothing about it said that he was the whistling type.
2. Why on earth were there murders on a beach. I'm sorry, but threw out history beaches are associated with party time and vacation type feelings. But I guess this horror movie thought it was going to be such a success that it would change all of that. Plus was it me or did the beach seem to be the size of someone living room. I mean every time an actor or actress was running around on the beach, it looked as if they were running in the same spot.
3. The girl running in the gray sweat pants. That really bother during the duration of this film. I mean she looks so ridiculous. Plus it didn't help any that she looked as though she was the youngest out of the whole group. I mean what was she like twelve or something. There no excuse for someone to be that thin on camera. I mean doesn't the camera add like ten pounds or something, so what was her excuse.
4. People trying to get record deals on camera. Just when I thought that this movie could not get any cheesier, out comes the wanna be Gorth Brooks and oh man was he lame. I don't' remember the whole scene, but from what I do remember it was not pretty. This one guy starts singing this song about something that has nothing, and I mean nothing to do with what's going on in the film. The funniest part of the whole happening is how everyone seems to being enjoying this. I mean the only person who doesn't really know how to response to this is the "token black guy". And that's sad because if I'm not mistaken he was the one that encourage this latest addition of American Idoal. But here's where it gets funny. While this guy is all into his new song or whatever. In the far distance we see or villain aka the scarecrow. And boy does he look pi**ed off at this. I mean there's actually a moment where he looks like he's really jealous of this guy. So what does he do about this jealousy, well I'm glad you ask. He wait's for the guy to finish his song, and then he finises the guy. I don't want to give the death scene away, but I can tell you this. If that scene doesn't make you laugh, then nothing on this earth will.
5. This movie was way longer then I expected. And it didn't help that they tried to pulled some pathetic twist bulls**t at the end to squeeze another 10 minutes out of this film. I mean I'll admit, I didn't see the twist coming, but that had a lot to do with the fact that I was hoping that the film was over and done with. But no they had to do they twist s**t. Needless to say that when I say that coming, I just turned off the T.V. and said f**k it, there's no way that movie could have gotten any worser. Thanks to my rather fast judgment I can say that I'll never know what was to happen next. But I promise that I do not care!!!!!!!!!!!!! All and all the movie is good for a laugh, but please don't buy it. Just hype it up to one of your friends and watch it on there expanse.
Marci X (2003)
And I really wanted to hate this one
I'm sorry but I can't hate this movie. I mean I kid you not when I say that I really hate black comedies movies. Not to be racist or anything(because I'm black myself. It's just that every time I see a black comedy, it's always showing black people being very stereotypical.Plus I know that lot of what's happening in this movie has already been done. But it's not been done by Damon Waynes. If it was just about any other black actor screaming bi**h or any of the other curse words used in this movie, I would have turn the channel. But like I said, it's Damon and that's my dog. So big ups to what the movie tried to do. Plus I love the fact that he's countering someone who no one would have ever imagined him to do a movie with. I love this movie.
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)
I'am sorry, but I loved it
This is probably one of my all time favorite horror movies. I say that for many reasons. One thing that I like about this Phantasm compared to the other installments is the new charters. I mean there were other new charters in the other films, but not like the ones in this film. I mean Rocky(who looks the the female version of Blade) seems like a charter that you would find in a RPG ( ROLE PLAYING GAME) game. Plus there's the kid Tim who has all of these cool gadgets made for murder. Or to defend himself, but by the way he killed that man with the Frisbee with the blades on it, I'd say the gadgets were differently made for murder.
You see everyone looks at movies differently. When I first started watching Lord of the dead. I couldn't help but view it as though it were an RPG, like Final Fantasy or Chrono Trigger. I mean lets do the com parsing here. In most RPG's you start off with one charter who's on a mission or a quest. Most of the time the charter is on mission for a person or a loved one. In Phantasm 4 our main charter is Reggie, who on a quest to get mike back. We can check that one off the list. Next, in the RPG's the main charter has on them a special gift or a weapon that there known for. In this case it's uncle Reggie's shotgun, which if I may add is sweet as hell. Upon the quest that the main character always runs into people looking to accomplish to same goals as our main character. In comes rocky and Tim our sidekicks. Rocky's gift is that she's a martial artist and Tim's gift is his gadgets which like I said are made for murder. Here we have all of our charters who are barking upon the same quest. I could go further into the RPG theory but it's late.
This is a really good movie for anyone who's a fan of the Phantasm series. It's has a lot of funny sences like when Reggie is constantly tring to hit on Rocky. I mean I'm happy that Reggie has an open mind about sex. But I mean come on, this woman really does look like blade. There were a couple of sences were I was just sure that the Blood Pack were going to show up. Then there's this outrageous sex dream were Rocky and Reggie get it on. If the T.V. had been on mute and I just happened to walk in on this movie, I would swore that I just witnessed a gay sense.
But all and all this movie is the s***. I give it a 10/10
House of the Dead (2003)
I don't understand, I really don't understand
It's really hard to write a review for this movie since, I don't feel as though it deserves words. But I'm going to give it a shot, and by shot I mean an attempt, not shot as in the way the people in the movie were shooting the zombie slash swashbucklers.
The movie starts with a guy narrating about this very unrealistic story of events. He's basically supposed to fill in the gaps of what happened on the island. I can only imagined that the director did this to avoid visually going into detail about the supposed slaughter fest that happened. OK then some people are trying to attend this rave of the century. Which is held on an island some where off the coast of nowhere. Through careful stupidity then manage to miss the boat that was suppose to carry them to the island with everyone else. Then enters Long John Silver and the grown up version of that kid that died at the beginning of "Stephen Kings" IT. For some reason the five people who miss the boat think of a great way to lose money and killed at the same time. They try to get Long John Silver and his first and only mate to take them to this Island (where the rave is). They tell the captain where the island is and he's all like you can't pay me enough to go there. So then the guy with the money is like "F*** it a grand". Then out of nowhere the captain feels like a grand is worth dieing for. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.
So they get to the Island and the rave is so over that it's not even funny. There's blood and es all over the place and only one person out the group thinks to say somethings wrong here. Everyone else is either trying to get laid or trying to get paid. That reminds me theirs this one stupid line (I mean the movie is filled with them) where the man in the yellow slicker tries to give this girl a cross to were for protection, and the girl says "that's all right I'm on the pill". I think that's when just about everything inside of me died. Plus the people where normal everyday people when the got to the island but when the s*** hit they where like national guard. I mean people where jumping through the air shooting shot gun shells in bullet time(aka matrix time). That reminds, this girl jumps up and shoots a zombie while the zombie is doing some kind of Jackie Chan s*** while throwing an Axe at the same time that she's shooting. Their practically standing right in front of each other( if they where standing on ground) and for some reason her bullets hit the zombie in the chest and the zombie's Axe which was headed right for her just out of nowhere misses. Plus this same girl enters the fight with some form of a hand-gun and then in a split second she's holding a shotgun bus tin rounds. It's also funny how the camera man keeps circling everyone who has a gun, I mean this goes on for what seems like hours. Oh and got to put this in my review. So there all in the house and one of the guys kicks in the door to what looks like some type of chemical lab. So there looking around when one girl happens to look into a microscope, she calls over one of the guys to look at what she's just found. Then out of nowhere this possible college kid becomes a chemist. And she's like what is it and he's like "I've never seen anything like it" then he's pause and says "But it's fuc**** genius". After that I think I blacked out from lack of stupidity.
All and all this movie cuts deep into the wrist of horror movie fans.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
What the ****
I challenge anybody to tell me what the f*** I just saw. I mean is Hollywood even trying anymore. Well I can't lie, I knew it was going to be a piece of s***. But I never expected it to stink this bad. The weird thing about this me being mad thing is, that I'am not mad like disappointed mad, but I could just start kicking someone's a** mad. Who funded this undeserving prequel. Why was there ever a prequel anyways. Please don't waste your life line on this movie.
For one the jokes are so forced on you that you'd have to be a child to understand the humor. Some of the actors in the movie, I've seen in very good movies, like the kid who where the donkey head in the parade, he was good in "HOLES". But I guess he didn't see this hole coming. In summary don't and I repeat don't expect to find some humor in this movie because there is none. I hate this f****** movie.
Single White Female (1992)
I just don't understand (why hate)
I was setting in the living room yesterday flipping through the channel's when I came across "Single White Female". Now I've seen the movie before(when I was like thirteen) and didn't understand it then, but still remembered liking it. Now being of full age and having a better understanding of life's problem, I can truly say this is one of my all time favorites. I read some of the comments and really don't understand why people could disagree with of movie of this nature.
OK FACTS:
1. The whole idea of Jennifer Jason Leigh being a crazed phychopath who's obsessed with Bridget Fonda is brilliant. 2. Both Jennifer and Bridget both have nude scenes reviling more then you'll see in any of there other movies. 3. Issues like these are more common now then before, so it's real easy to feel unused about the events that are taking place in the movie.
I mean as for as movies go this is easily one of my all time favorites. All the actors where on key, and made the movie seem much more realer then most films of this genre. I look at it like this, one of my friends could have call me and told me that they had an crazy obsessed roommate, and normally I'd be like call me when your house is on fire. But after seeing this movie I kind of see how something of this nature can be very serious and very dangerous. Plus there's nothing more hotter then a phychopathic woman, and Jennifer Jason Leigh does and still remains more attractive then ever.
So in conclusion I give this movie a 10/10 for such lines like "Everyone you hated I hated" and "He came in my mouth and tried to be the s*** out of me when I threatened to tell you".
Sleepy Hollow High (2000)
Someone put the clip in the Gun so that I might shot myself
OK, so I'am chilling in my room when mom knocks on the door. I open the door and what do I see in her hands? "SLEEPY HOLLOW HIGH". I thinking it has to be an older horror movie, because there's noway anyone could be stupid enough to name a movie that after The blockbuster hit "Sleepy Hollow" starring Johnny Depp. But to my surprise the movie is at least two years older then the original. That alone should have stopped me from putting it into the V.C.R. But no I had to take a chance, I had to believe that this movie could have one small ray of hope. Little did I know that the rays where no where to be seen.
Number one, the story line is so ridiculous that it's probably true in some country bumpkin town. Two, the actors seem more like people real life people who just happen to wonder on the set when the director yell cut. Three, just about any movie starring the director is always awful. But the funny thing is that this is yet another movie directed by Kevin Summerfield. I've become to rely on his movie to bring me to the floor with side splitting laughter.
Where to start on this movie? I know, let's start with the jogger in the woods. The camera lighting was so bad that I lead to believe that the jogger was standing still and the camera man was running. I love how the woman's stop to eat a candy bar. I mean it's just about dark, or just about light, who could tell with the camera lighting. And she stops running to eat a candy bar, I mean a CANDY BAR WHAT THE HELL. So she ends up being the first victim because of stupidity, and already I'am ready to break the tape, find the director, burn his little hands.
Then out of nowhere some guys like trying to fix a car that probably been broken for some years now. Then in come the fake Mack 10 and a very real prostitute, who happen to be part of our main charter cast.
The some of the movie is about a group of kids who all get into trouble. And are given the choice to pick up trash in the Sleepy Hollow park or face suspension forever. There sent in the woods with one of the teachers(Mr.E or a.k.a Kevin Summfield) who suppose to watch over them and make sure that all goes accordingly. The funniest thing is how undeveloped the charters really are. I mean what is with the fake Mack 10 dude and who's ever heard of Hacker trying to kill themselves. And some how one of the students has had an affair with the teacher Mr. E, before all of this community service crap had even came up. Yet the school still thought it was a cool idea for them to let him go. Also there's one student named J who purpose in the movie is to keep annoyingly popping up out of no where trying to make the audience jump, when all he really does is add to the cheapness of the film. The sound was so horrible in this movie. I mean there was one seen when two guys are fighting, and the guy punches the other guy in the stomach, and out of the T.V. comes this sound effect that sounds like someone punching a stale wooden box. It began horribly and ended dangerously stupid, even my taste. I will say this though, the music in the back ground made the scenes look some what tolerable. But not that much tolerable. My conclusion is this, if you want to left at yet another movie that Kevin Summfield took serious buy "Sleepy Hollow High.
P.S I'am still thinking about shooting myself to remove those images of the fake Mack 10. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings (2002)
"What in gods name was I thinking"
OK when I saw this movie my first thoughts were "how cheesy" could it be. My god was I sadly mistaken at the cheesiness of this film. First off like all the other low budget movies, you can find this piece of "god knows what" in the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart.The funniest thing about this movie is the case, which suggest that someone sat down long enough to give it 3 1/2 stars with out there head exploding.
The movie is full of cheap actors with even cheaper reactions to one another's lines. Although I must say that it has some unforgettable lines that no matter how hard I tried to forget them i'll never manage too. Such lines like "A weary traveler I do see, A weary traveler sent to me, Will you dine in our chamber, Will you dine with the remainder" the remainder of what!!!I still never understood how a bunch of people sitting at a table could make up a whole castle, and what is with that fish guy, I mean what purpose did he serve. Plus the movie has some of the actors from Kevin Summerfields "Sleepy Hollow High" which made me wonder at times.
At no point in time am I given enough information about any of the charters to care wither there killed or enslave by the trolls. Also who ever thought to give that mouse vocals should be hunted with a very small kitchen knife. I mean laughing is one thing,but every time I turned around the mouse was laughing about something that didn't require a laugh. I also thought that the comment from the mice about max's dad's fly being opened was beyond gay to me. I mean what the hell was he looking at his fly area for. Oh yeah, then there's mister Tim who is supposed to be some old head wizard who is now an everyday working man. How did he make that transition?! But yet again I'am not given enough information on him to care about his well being.
Then there's max the magician the hero of this awful epic. Max is a kid with no friend, and by his acting it is all to obvious why. He's somehow friends with Mr.Tim who is like a hundred and max is like 12. That was all to strange to me and very pedo like. Max is given a magic book by mister Tim who until this day I can't understand why he would do such a thing. I mean was he actually looking at max, I mean did he see who I saw I don't think he did. Other wise he would have been up in there handling s*** on his own. So max is basically the average loser who rises to meet an occasions which not worth meeting. I could go on and on about this s*** of a movie but what it comes down to is do you really want to take the red pill and go down this very uncomfortable rabbit hole. I don't think so. So if you looking for laughs at other peoples expenses then buy it, if not avoid it like the plague.