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Reviews
Brüno (2009)
Really bad
The plot of the film makes little sense. The character does not develop any depth. I watch lots of porn (hetro here) so seeing a penis is like *shrug* NEXT not funny at all.
It's a penis 3.25 billion people have on. Just really disjointed, MASSIVELY staged, irritating. Could have done so much more and much better. I think staying in the Middle East would have given the film more promise.
Wow surprise "Red Necks" don't like homosexuals. Zzzzzzz Please do something interesting next time.
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The Good Shepherd (2006)
Just found the film slow and boring
This film was far too slow paced with not enough happening to draw the viewers interest in.
The lack of any elements that make you identify with individual characters is so sad, this film could have been so much more.
There could have been a deeper emotional attachment by FOCUSING the people involved more intimately instead you have a far flung mish mash of events and characters and nothing really drawing you in to their world and their reason for being the people they are.
You know whats sad is that when the female Russian asset gets thrown out of the plan you are jolted that something important has happened to impact a persons life, but almost immediately you get pushed into more of the films drudgery and non eventfullness.
I found this one of the greatest cinematic bores of all time. I would like to see a remake with some PASSION in it! As opposed to the mindless drones inhabiting this lifeless feature.
I can't remember Matt Damons character getting really angry or wildly happy just the same sombre stoic zombie state that flowed on to the whole movie. As I said slow and boring.
Hoodwinked! (2005)
Laugh out loud funny.
This is a laugh out loud funny film that will maintain the interest of an adult audience and provide entertainment to a younger children to boot.
It's a fun fast paced mystery adventure that gets real action packed towards the end.
The animations are not to Shrek standard however once you get absorbed in the storytelling, humor and non stop action, the latest CGI effects are the least of your concern.
I found this film more entertaining than Pirates of the Carriabean 2. So well worth a watch IMO. If the DVD has lots of extras I'd be mighty tempted to pick that one up too.
A fun film for all ages.
The Break-Up (2006)
Tedious, drawn out, not funny, lame, uninspiring.
Well well well, this film was simply atrocious. The worst film I have seen in the last two to three years.
The breakup advertised as romantic comedy is anything but. I can't begin to describe how disappointed I was sitting through this movie.
Nothing made me relate to the characters and their infantile behavior. They both came across as whining spoilt brats.
The pace of the film is slow and pointless. Arguments, shouting and bickering don't make for light or romantic entertainment.
Silly "votes" between good friends as to who is staying at the bowling game are just cringe factor, good grief do people really behave this way? certainly not my circle of friends. It was just embarrassing to watch.
Not much redeeming in this film a few short laughs, one of the better ones being when their real estate agent friend offers to sell their home and wants to do so at no commission. BUT unfortunately company policy wont allow it so he has to charge it hahaha that was the funniest bit in the film. How sad :( I would have given it one star except for that real estate agent part LOL.
AVOID THIS FILM AT ALL COSTS !!! A great gift for that person you don't really like but have to buy for appearances sake :)
Mission: Impossible III (2006)
Lots of explosions no substance
If your idea of an action movie is limited character development, not much dialog a weak storyline BUT with lots of fancy stunts and things exploding. Then MI-III is the film for you.
However if you like even a minimal amount of intelligent dialog, character development a more detailed plot and reason for these characters to be engaged in this high octane behavior then MI-III fails dismally.
There was the weak, extended and boring party scene early on that only served to highlight Ethan (Tom Cruise) loves his wife to be so very much and he can read lips. Plus everyone smiles a lot and all go to the same great dentist.
Oh yeah Ethan loves his wife to be so much that an out of the blue mission to save a former female infatuation of his results in Ethan accepting the mission almost immediately.
Such love but I guess that childish paternalism with a former employee is greater than your new life with the most important person in your life right? Oh well I guess the film would have stopped there had he refused the assignment, so off we go on a wild goose chase for some "holy grail", "preperation H", "rabbits foot", "mojo" "x" who cares? who knows? nobody it's just an excuse to break into places and blow things up.
I saw it on the big screen and can only imagine how boring and shallow such a production would look watching on small screen.
The overall impression I had was a shallow story, nothing to drag you in and keep you hooked. Zero suspense nothing had me on the edge of my seat not even once. Cardboard cutout characters would have more life than the ones developed in MI-III.
Unless you really like things exploding and watching Tom run, you'd probably get more enjoyment burning your money.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Very Funny :)
This is a truly hilarious film ! There is gross out humor and even with all the antics there is no hard feelings between any of the characters involved. Leaving you feeling very upbeat and not guilty at laughing so hard because no one really gets scarred or hurt. It's like watching the coyote fall off a cliff as he chases the road runner you know that he's not going to get hurt.
For my money this film is well worth owning on DVD and has plenty of value to view over and over again. I've added it to my collection and plan to enjoy it for many years to come.
Easily in the top ten of comedy classics. 10/10
Date Movie (2006)
Categorically the WORST film I have seen in my entire life.
My only regret is spending 30min in the cinema watching this total TRASH.
This is an awful film, seriously who bankrolls crap like this atrocious.
The jokes were NOT FUNNY. When the two lovers decided to beat up on a homeless guy that was my cue to leave. There was nothing prior to that scene even remotely funny, the pretty girl suited up in a fat suit dancing please not even close to funny just painful.
Painful to watch with a total lack of any comic value. If I could apply Negative ten stars I would do it in an instant.
Just makes you cry that somehow this passed test audiences and is now served up as mainstream humor?? Where is Hollywood headed too??
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Why was The Phantom a psycho?
I enjoyed this film a great deal, until The Phantom morphed into some sort of freak psychotic killer.
From the scene in the graveyard where he attacks Raoul, to where he drags Christine off stage before finally presenting Christine with the marry me or Raoul dies routine. I mean COME ON! I had not one ounce of sympathy for The Phantom and by the end of all this, I could have killed him myself. He had a hard life you taught some pretty girl to sing **you don't own her** get over it.
I liked the musical and really disliked the character of the Phantom, which was vastly different than what I was lead to believe.
5/10
Finding Neverland (2004)
Flat stale unimpressive.
OMG how can this film have a rating of 8.3 on IMDb (boggle) This movie is atrocious, it offers nothing new. It gives us the same rehashed climax given in The Polar Express "Believe". (At least the polar express was more genuine.) EVERYTHING in this movie and how the characters interact was clichéd, struggling mum, father who passed away due to sickness, child having difficulty coming to terms with dads death. Mum in the process of dying herself but being very stoic about it all. Overbearing grandmother, who is like an evil witch but is redeemed in the end, she does have a heart after all.
Enter a writer who has yet to find his true meaning interacts with the above family and presto "genius" play script results. He sorts out the whole familys problems, everyone is told in the power of "Belief" and we all live happily ever after.
The scene with the children in the theatre who laugh was so contrived so fake that it made me cringe.
This is one of the worst films I have seen in quite a while. The performances are good but hardly inspiring, I shake my head at the 8.3 rating.
2/10
The Thin Red Line (1998)
A very boring film.
I started watching this film with high expectations, with a great cast playing a war drama.
Instead the audience is subjected to a disjoint, pointless and utterly unconvincing miss mash of imagery, dialog and characters.
This is one film that I got close to walking out of I stayed because I generally like war movies and I remember continuously looking at my watch thinking how much longer before this film is over or develops some sort of point.
In summary my experience was that this is a bad film, it's boring pointless and will take three hours from your life that you will never get back. Avoid it at all costs.
3/10
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Hit and Miss
This is a reasonable film which does make you laugh, it's main fault is the over reliance on the focker jokes, which quickly become repetitive and stale. The child actor part of the story as well as the dog and cat element I found TOTALLY unnecessary.
Strong points are the interplay between the two families with a different sets of value priority. On the one had the fockers are open, like to hug and kiss, talk about sexuality, are proud of their child irrespective of material success. The other family the Byrnes are very uptight, reserved and dominated by a type Alpha male.
This is where Streisand, Hoffman and in particular De Niro shine. The issue of trust in relationships is nicely done if somewhat glossed over, I guess for comedy purposes.
7/10
I Heart Huckabees (2004)
Makes you think and has humor.
When you approach a potentially heavy subject like the metaphysical how do you get your message across without losing the audience. I heart huckabees does it with humor.
You can take as much or as little as you like from this film. Thus far I have seen it twice it's that good. For me this was not a film about absolutes it was a film about challenging your belief system, asking questions and standing up for what you believe in even if other people might think you're wrong.
The film is chaotic, there is a lot of dialog, humor and character interplay and it is definitely one of those films where you get more from it when you see it again, especially if you have a questioning nature.
I loved it and i'm giving it 9/10 I can't wait to add it to my DVD collection.
Sorority Boys (2002)
Hilarious
This film is hilarious. Certainly the concept is nothing new but the story and performance are pretty solid but it's the humor that shines.
*** SPOILERS WARNING *** Many people enjoyed the dildo fighting sequence which is funny and there are other funny moments people seem all too willing to overlook.
The look on the KOK guys face when the three man girls rock up to the KOK frat party to try and get their video evidence. You have to see this look.
After trying to get their video evidence the boys dressed as girls get thrown out of their frat party and they end up on the DOG (Delta Omicron Gamma) house. They spend a few minutes refusing admission to the house working an alternate plan, they turn their backs when the DOG house mentions food. Cut to a scene with three girls tucking into a hearty meal in a way that only males do. ROFL priceless.
Then the boys are discussing what their next move should be and anguish over joining their arch nemesis DOG when Doofer/Roberta casually mentions she pledged twenty minutes ago.
Robertas card when they are introducing each other. Then there is Robertas introduction itself the other girls give a nice little normal intro and Roberta just BLURTS "I'm addicted to porn and masturbate constantly" Doofers description of how he found the video in a chest. In the narrative he finds the chest open but the film footage shows him using a crowbar before removing the lock by firing a revolver.
Then there is "whats this on your dress man?", "it must be gum or something", "what is it juicy cock flavor?" The sight gag with Roberta consoling one of her frat girl buddies, gently patting her face and head while still wearing rubber gloves from cleaning duty and a four foot strand of twisted hair pulled from the sink, works some magic too :) The gravity bong.
One of the man girls fathers falling for one of the man girls.
The scene where the wig comes off and "oh my god you're a man" reminds me of the whole Clark Kent / superman thing glasses on / off kind of thing.
This is a sample there is a ton of good humor in this movie. If you like comedy it's worth adding to your DVD collection and it has replay value. 8/10