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Reviews
Eternals (2021)
Why would you hire Chloé Zhao for a Marvel Movie?
I really wanted to enjoy Marvel's Eternals. I'm a big fan of the cast, especially Kumail Nanjiani, Brian Tyree Henry, and Lauren Ridloff. However, I found the movie unfollowable due to not caring, but it does make great background whitenoise though, so $236 Million dollars well spent. The movie leans heavily into Chloe Zhao's filmmaking style, which is great for character-driven Eternalsit really doesn't lend itself to the Marvel universe, especially with nine main characters.
Eternals attempts to weave a needlessly complicated story without any real character development or emotional investment to speak of. Even my love of Kumail Nanjiani couldn't garner my attention. The plot felt way too thin to be this confusing, as it tried to cram way too much into one film without any kind of clear direction. The potential of the characters remained largely untapped, leaving me completely uninterested in if they lived or died, more less what their futures hold. The lack of depth made it impossible to care.
Overall, Eternals was a real whiff, the type of bomb that would bankrupt smaller studios, it feels alot like the "Heavens Gate" fiasco actually. It's not fully the fault of Chloe Zhao, and I dont blame the cast; they did their best. The real issue lies with the mismatch between the director's style and the superhero genre, coupled with a garbage script. The "Eternals will return" tag at the end felt more like a warning than a promise. It'll be intriguing to see how Marvel addresses the problems this movies flop brings to the larger timeline.
P. S.
Those costumes were some of the ugliest, stupidest costumes I have ever seen, except Angelina Jolie's, she must have brought her own wardrobe.
Pawn Shop Chronicles (2013)
Generally terrible
There is ignorance and then there is this horrible movie. I made this account to review this movie. It was offensive in the worst way. It didn't help me learn anything, or make me grow as a person, it just was offensive. I cannot believe that anyone would sign on to this movie. The talent was amazing, the performances were amazing, the script was horrid. I literally feel dirty after watching this movie. I am not a prudish person, I watch fhv and laugh at the same joke 50 times, but this was just terrible. I will die a happy man if this review stops even one person from watching this abomination. Personal opinions aside great cinematography, great acting. all that aside you can call a piece of sh#t a gift, but at the end of the day it is still just a waste of space.