Really funny that The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare released like two weeks after this. They're obviously going for very different things and I didn't even necessarily like this one that much more, but idk man, just comparing the action alone is pretty embarrassing. I haven't seen Boy Kills World yet so I can't speak for that but at least that has a sort of interesting gimmick to stand up against this. It also just came out while Monkey Man is leaving theaters. I know none of this isn't that interesting to talk about, but I have nothing else to say about this movie. Not really that into action and the story was a little beyond me aside from the basic concept of "revenge". I knew it wasn't really going to be for me, but I heard it was really good. And it was! I think! (8/10)
Reviews
12 Reviews
A Fish Tale
(2000)
A Tale of Three Fishies
18 April 2024
Love when movies have a theme song that's named after the movie, especially when the movie has a title like "Help! I'm a Fish". Alan Rickman is in this as Alan Fishman and they're great, almost overqualified if they didn't sell it so well. They even get a "Be Prepared"-style villain song. Aaron Paul is also in this weirdly, in a very early role, and it's a pretty bad voice acting performance tbh, but you can tell it's them if you listen closely. But this was pretty solid for a kids movie from the 2000s that nobody in this country has seen unless they were really into Shark Tale when that movie came out and their parents picked this up because it was rereleased as "A Fish Tale" to trick people into renting it. Weirdly, it would also work as a prequel that sets up the events of the movie Shark Tale. I wish there was something like this for Cars, that'd be horrifying. Reminds me a lot of We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story. I'd say it's probably better than that even, but honestly I don't remember that movie very much and I will probably end up forgetting this one too. (6.5/10)
Drive-Away Dolls
(2024)
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
3 April 2024
Somehow the Coen Brothers and the Farrelly Brothers breaking up around the same time led to a Coen Brother remake of a Farrelly Brothers movie: Gay and Gayer. I had fun, although the over-the-top editing choices, as much as I respect them, were a bit distracting at times. Still a better lesbian crime film than Loves Lies Bleeding. Really wanted to see them both as a double feature but none of you fools showed up for this one and they took it out of theaters almost immediately! Come on people! It's one of the Coens! Margaret Qualley does a funny voice! Where were y'all?? Anyway, I look forward to seeing Joey Slotnick in future projects and going "Oh hey, it's not Paul Giamatti!" (7/10)
Robot Dreams
(2023)
Dream Come True
9 March 2024
Out of all the random books I pulled out of the graphic novel section of the library as a kid, Robot Dreams was definitely a highlight. I love Sara Varon's artwork and how they told the story through that alone. It was bittersweet, the type of story you wouldn't really get in books for children but the tone they set with their art really draws you in. I don't know if I would call it an underappreciated book, I'm sure it's had recognition over the years from all the children that have enjoyed reading it, but it's not the sort of thing I would ever see someone reference, it's not Captain Underpants or even Babymouse, it was just a nice self-contained story. So the fact that all these years later this beautiful film would be made based on this book I adore really feels like a miracle. It truly shines in it's own unique way from the book, elevating so many short moments into emotional, gorgeously animated sequences. I don't necessarily like every change, like I think they could've had a few less name brands on screen and I would've preferred if it was at least kept ambiguous whether the segment with the snowman was real considering I feel like it was one of the more emotional parts of the book. But those gripes are far outweighed from the joy it brings me to see this story retold with such passion and dedication. One of if not the best movie to come out in the past year, please go watch it and read the book as well, it's a very short read and well worth it. (8/10)
Perfect Days
(2023)
Just doing some stuff
23 February 2024
When I was younger I took out a VHS copy of Toy Story from the downtown library. Not sure why, I thought I remember us owning it at some point. But regardless, it turned out this copy had audio descriptions for the visually impaired. As stuff was happening on screen a narrator would describe it like "RC drives towards Woody. Woody ducks out of the way." I had never heard of anything like that before. Anyway, they should do that for this movie. "Hirayama looks up at the sun shining though the tree. Hirayama takes out their camera. Hirayama snaps a photo of the light shining through the tree. Hirayama takes a sandwich out of their bag. Hirayama takes a bite of the sandwich. Hirayama looks over at the person sitting on the bench next to theirs, also eating a sandwich. They look back, silently. Hirayama finishes eating the sandwich." Few film characters have perfected the art of just vibing more than the protagonist of this movie. (7/10)
Lisa Frankenstein
(2024)
Ohhh like Lisa Frank
23 February 2024
Took me until after the movie was over to realize what the title was going for. Was that how this all came to be? Legit did not click for me. Cole Sprouse is no Vincent D'Onofrio but they were doing their best. One of the parents from Stranger Things is in this playing literally note for note the exact same role they play in Stranger Things, it's kind of funny. I'm not against it, I like the role, it's just like damn they didn't do a single thing to separate them from the Stranger Things character lmao. The plot's not perfect, but it's very stylish. I wish the best for Taffy. Anyway, anyone know where this trope is from or what it's called? Did Sweeney Todd originate it? I can't figure out what TV Tropes page to look for. (7.5/10)
Mars Attacks!
(1996)
6/10
4 July 2016
It makes sense that this movie was based on a trading card franchise, because that's pretty much what it felt like. It was as if they turned a bunch of the scenes from the cards into scenes in a movie and stitched it together into a coherent plot. Like a lot of stuff happens, but it doesn't really mean anything. Like for example, two people are captured by the aliens, and then eventually they die when the spaceship crashes, but they don't really do anything when they're on the ship. The cast was packed with stars I did not expect, but even they didn't really do anything. They were just there, in that situation. All this movie has is that at the end there's a basic conflict resolution, but until then everything going on just feels very random. It's never explained why the aliens acted peaceful for one second before attacking, or even why they're attacking. Again though, I can't fault it too much on all of this because this does make it feel more faithful to the source material. That's the problem with having the source material be a trading card game. It just feels... weird... that this movie exists.
Besides that, a complaint I have is that I feel like they should have probably made this movie with an R-rating. As I look at some of the trading cards the movie was based on, they seem pretty violent, and I think this movie would have had a lot more to work with if it was rated R. The aliens aren't even supposed to have green blood. It's red, like ours. Also, imagine Jack Nicholson cussing out some aliens.
Besides that, a complaint I have is that I feel like they should have probably made this movie with an R-rating. As I look at some of the trading cards the movie was based on, they seem pretty violent, and I think this movie would have had a lot more to work with if it was rated R. The aliens aren't even supposed to have green blood. It's red, like ours. Also, imagine Jack Nicholson cussing out some aliens.
Slow Learners
(2015)
6.5/10
30 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Right off the bat this movie was hitting me with laugh after laugh and I was really enjoying it. Then, the plot happened. It's kind of hard to tell at first or when watching the trailer if this is a straight- comedy movie or if it's one of those movies like The Skeleton Twins (which I haven't seen, I'm just using it as an example) where there are some jokes and it's light-hearted now and then, but at the core it's a... well I'm not sure what the word is, but like light drama with not very complex plot that just shows a couple people's lives. Hopefully you know the type of movie I'm talking about there. But yeah, this movie was the second one. Which is kind of a shame because like I said, when there were jokes they were really good. Some of the lines with the book club had me cracking up! They started to space out the jokes a lot more as the plot progressed and they became more centered around the drama in the characters' lives, though. Which I have to say wasn't extremely compelling. I mean... it was fine, but it also frustrated me how they ended up making it be about the romantic tension between Sarah Burns and Adam Pally's characters. I personally would have much preferred it if they had kept them as friends. There was even a line from Burns' character early in the film where she says (and I'm paraphrasing, here) "That is so cliché! So the two single people in the room automatically belong together?", but then they go ahead and use the cliché anyway! It's very frustrating.
Anyway, they do manage to throw in some pretty solid jokes here and there dispersed throughout the character's situations, at least. They even end strongly on one last joke, although it is paired with a kiss between the two main characters (which again, I'm totally against them being a couple).
It is nice to see these actors getting some work, because all the one's I recognize in this movie are really funny and under-appreciated and they really prove just how funny they can be in this film. Adam Pally is actually one of my favorite actors to stumble upon while watching things, ever since I saw him on the show Happy Endings. I also really liked seeing Catherine Reitman, Bobby Moynihan, and Cecily Strong. Everyone else I didn't really recognize, but they were really good too.
I really wanted to put this movie on my recommendations list 2016 after sitting through the first couple minutes of jokes, but by the end of the movie I didn't feel like I had enjoyed it enough to recommend it.
Anyway, they do manage to throw in some pretty solid jokes here and there dispersed throughout the character's situations, at least. They even end strongly on one last joke, although it is paired with a kiss between the two main characters (which again, I'm totally against them being a couple).
It is nice to see these actors getting some work, because all the one's I recognize in this movie are really funny and under-appreciated and they really prove just how funny they can be in this film. Adam Pally is actually one of my favorite actors to stumble upon while watching things, ever since I saw him on the show Happy Endings. I also really liked seeing Catherine Reitman, Bobby Moynihan, and Cecily Strong. Everyone else I didn't really recognize, but they were really good too.
I really wanted to put this movie on my recommendations list 2016 after sitting through the first couple minutes of jokes, but by the end of the movie I didn't feel like I had enjoyed it enough to recommend it.
Black Swan
(2010)
7.5/10
28 June 2016
I feel like the sexual overtones were probably gratuitous. It's become popular to make movies like this where they want to balance erotic and horrific tones. I really don't understand it. That being said, I probably didn't completely understand this movie. I think maybe a lot of it went over my head. Looking at the cast list for this movie, I feel like maybe it was supposed to mirror Swan Lake as well. I haven't seen Swan Lake in any fashion, so I couldn't really say how they did with that, but it is tricky to do something like that because not only are they trying to mirror Swan Lake, but they use Swan Lake as a tool in the story. So if you're looking at it as the story of Swan Lake, I can imagine that might get confusing. At times It's hard to understand what it is that is actually happening in the story, as opposed to what the protagonist is imagining, which is definitely intended. However, towards the end of the movie it becomes close to irritating with how confusing it becomes, because I can't tell what it is I'm supposed to understand is going on and what it is I'm just supposed to appreciate as it happens. That might just be me, though. By the end of the film it didn't really bother me as much. I think I enjoyed it, but it's hard to tell because this movie really went all over the place for me. That's not to say this movie was all over the place, but in terms of whether I liked it or not, that was all over the place. It's definitely interesting to watch, though. That's why I scored it at a 7.5. I think I'd recommend it. Heck, watch it with your whole family! I'm sure Grandma would enjoy it. It's fun for all ages!
Boogie Nights
(1997)
6.5/10
28 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This film had some really great scenes, especially towards the end, but there wasn't really much of a story. There was some character development, although it wasn't very noticeable in my opinion. Not all movies need to have a story, but I feel like this one could have benefited from a bit of a more permanent arc. It's kind of hard for me to explain without spoiling it so I'm going to stop avoiding spoilers from here on out with this review.
All I was trying to get across is that after Dirk hits it big and has a falling out with his producer, that's where the real conflict of the story starts. Every good story has a conflict, that's Writing 101. The problem for me is when at the end of the film, all that Dirk needs to do is say sorry and everyone lives "happily ever after". Also, the scene where Don Cheadle's character witnesses the robbery at the bakery and comes across all that cash; that's a really great scene. The problem is that it was pretty much just dumb luck and all it did for the story was give the character a free pass towards a happy ending with everyone else. I don't know, maybe I'm over-thinking it. Tell me what you think in the comments, if you want.
All I was trying to get across is that after Dirk hits it big and has a falling out with his producer, that's where the real conflict of the story starts. Every good story has a conflict, that's Writing 101. The problem for me is when at the end of the film, all that Dirk needs to do is say sorry and everyone lives "happily ever after". Also, the scene where Don Cheadle's character witnesses the robbery at the bakery and comes across all that cash; that's a really great scene. The problem is that it was pretty much just dumb luck and all it did for the story was give the character a free pass towards a happy ending with everyone else. I don't know, maybe I'm over-thinking it. Tell me what you think in the comments, if you want.
Brick
(2005)
6.5/10
28 June 2016
I didn't actually love this film, because I kind of got lost and ended up not completely following the story. The director Rian Johnson did an amazing job with this though, I think. It was just so visually and tonally appealing to me. I looked him up on here and it turns out he also directed one of the most famous Breaking Bad episodes, Ozymandias, as well as my favorite Breaking Bad episode, Fly. He'll also be directing Star Wars: Episode VIII so I'm really excited to see that. I'm sure he'll do an amazing job with that as well, but for the mean time just watch this and enjoy his directorial work. So I recommend you watch it, just to enjoy the cinematography and what-not.
The Good Dinosaur
(2015)
8/10
28 June 2016
This movie was criminally underrated. I mean this is Pixar for god's sake, you would think it would get more praise. People were so focused on Inside Out that this movie was swept aside with Minions and Hotel Transylvania 2. It is so much better than those. In fact, it's better than Inside Out. I feel like Inside Out is more of a Toy Story film and The Good Dinosaur is more of a Wall-E. Obviously Toy Story is the one people remember, but most people would say Wall-E is better. So clearly The Good Dinosaur should have won the Oscar for best animated picture. It wasn't even nominated. You know what was nominated? Inside Out. Take a wild guess which movie won the category, as well.
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