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Rough Diamonds (2023– )
9/10
Modern Noir
2 June 2024
Warning: Spoilers
In true film noir fashion, the viewer starts with a sympathetic view of the handsome lead which increasingly dissipates as his character slowly reveals his appalling lack of moral compass.

The setting in the Orthodox Jewish community of diamond dealers in Antwerp adds an exotic flavour to the proceedings and the numerous plot twists are an added source of delight.

The acting is generally serviceable, although lead Kevin Janssens has a limited range. As his character becomes increasingly duplicitous, one is hard pressed to find anyone in the film with whom to feel sympathy (again, a classic noir feature). Personally, I found the doggedly determined female detective who brings the house of cards tumbling down to be the true hero.

Highly recommended.
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Me Before You (2016)
2/10
Dreadful Film With a Dreadful Message
20 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Everything about this film was so phony and superficial it almost made me want to sign up with Dignitas in despair.

Emilia Clarke is irritating and unconvincing as the supposedly cute and quirky "Lou", a role written as a cookie cutter stereotype of the naive but lovable ingénue. Her outfits are so broadly overdone that they merely underscore the shallowness of the whole enterprise. Her dialogue is straight out of daytime TV mediocrity.

Sam Claflin does as best he can as Will, the miserable, paralyzed protagonist who is won over (is this supposed to be a surprise?) by the winsome Lou. Charles Dance is totally wasted as Sam's father.

But beyond the utter banality of the film, its most repulsive aspect is its message: disabled people are better off dead. It is very clear, despite the cloying depiction of the relationship, that Sam and Lou could definitely have had a life together. It wouldn't have been a perfect one, but Lou's love and devotion would have ensured Sam had moments to treasure and cherish. To throw in the towel and voluntarily destroy yourself, causing anguish to your loved ones, is in no way noble or laudable.

It is sadly no surprise that a sensibility that produced such a trite and soulless film could also be shallow enough to endorse self-destruction as a noble act to be admired.

This is a ghastly film with a ghastly message and I am now plotting my revenge on the person who recommended it to me...
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Opening Night (1977)
10/10
An Actress Under the Influence
14 April 2024
If you're a fan of Cassavetes' work, and particularly "A Woman Under the Influence" (which bears a number of similarities to this film), you will find Opening Night irresistible.

There are few actresses who can express so well the complexities of human emotion as Gena Rowlands. She is at the height of her powers in this demanding role, perhaps her best performance ever.

Ben Gazzara is wonderful, as always, exuding warmth and passion, while Cassavetes' himself, besides writing and directing, delivers a captivating performance, playing off real life partner Rowlands. Joan Blondell is splendid as the elderly playwright who sees her work unravel in the hands of the troubled cast.

Cassavetes afficianados will be delighted with the cameo of his mother as a spiritualist and two fleeting appearances by Cassavetes rat pack member Peter Falk. Even show biz luminary Peter Bogdanovich makes a blink and you'll miss him appearance.

The themes of the play-within-the-film and the cast members intertwined relationships offstage are skilfully intertwined, culminating in the titular opening night, which I found myself viewing with hands in front of face, peering between my fingers in true horror movie style.

An absolute pleasure through the entirety of its nearly two and a half hours, I could easily watch this film over and over and will no doubt return to it frequently.
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7/10
History Repeats Itself
11 April 2024
This film is a product of its time, and although some of the acting may appear hammy on occasion, it's based on a true story and harks back to a time when the Soviet Union was doing its best to subvert American democracy.

The real life undercover agent upon whom the film is based showed not only great courage, but also had the strength of character to suffer estrangement from his son and siblings in order to carry out his mission. I don't think this type of patriotic commitment would be easy to find in America of 2024.

What makes this film particularly relevant is that its themes appear to be recurring in real life as a write, with some political elements actively fomenting racial discord, free speech under attack and anti-Semitism hitting unimaginable new heights.

In view of these concerns, this film appears ominously prescient and perhaps serves as a cautionary tale of where we might now be headed. Let's all hope it is not so.
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Ripley (2024)
8/10
Art House Film Noir for the Small Screen
8 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
It's hard to think of many TV miniseries that are as accomplished and skilfully executed as Ripley. The pleasures in watching this were so intense we watched the first six hours back to back and would have kept going if the hour hadn't been so late.

The first thing to strike the viewer is the exceptional cinematography and lighting, that equal the work of Sven Nykvist and similar masters. The choice of black and white prevents the Italian seaside locales from evoking holiday memories and instead underscore the menace and threat that ripple through proceedings like a deadly undercurrent. As the frailties of the human protagonists become ever more exposed, the mute faces of classical sculptures look on with icy detachment. Shadows recur against walls in finest film noir style, while endless staircases snake across the screen like the complicated web of lies issuing from the resourceful but pitiless Ripley.

And speaking of the man himself, Andrew Scott inhabits the character so effortlessly and convincingly that one forgets this is a performance; Scott IS Ripley. Every facial expression, gesture and line of dialogue is delivered with absolute perfection, showing both the emotional intelligence and psychological insight that Scott brings to the role

The only reservation I have about the film centers on unconvincing plot points that can most likely be laid at the feet of the source material. A sampling:

1. A sophisticated con artist like Ripley is unlikely to think that the rich and entitled Dickie Greenleaf would look favourably on the opportunity to smuggle a suitcase of contraband for a local Mafioso;

2. It strains credibility that after Ripley reveals himself to be a manipulative and shady character, Dickie would turn down Ripley's offer to move out of Dickie's villa fairly early in the proceedings. Why on earth would Dickie want this interloper of dubious morality to stay?

3. When Marge calls Rome to speak to Dickey after Dickey has disappeared, Ripley passes himself off as Dickie on the phone, even though he speaks in his normal speaking voice, which sounds nothing like Dickie;

4. It seems unlikely that with the numerous letters Ripley writes to Marge and Dickie's parents pretending to be Dickie, no one notices any difference in the writing style or vocabulary used that would sound unnatural or different from Dickie's normal way of expressing himself.

There are a few other similar issues with the plotting, but despite these lapses, one's enjoyment of the series is barely dented. For anyone who appreciates film noir, top flight acting or brilliant cinematography, Ripley is truly must-see viewing.
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10/10
Life at Its Saddest and Most Beautiful
16 March 2024
Although gentle in presentation, this film packs a wallop. The wonderful Dirk Bogarde, in his final role, portrays a man in failing health staring mortality in the face. His wife and daughter deal with him and his impending demise as best they can, but the past weighs heavily on all of them, a source of both great pleasure and intense regret.

The beautiful setting on the coast of France is an ironic backdrop, a sun kissed panorama of holiday pleasure, against which the three protagonists struggle to accept the disappointments of the past and the daunting future that lingers ever closer.

The performances are note perfect, capturing the flashes of tenderness, regret and anxiety that play out in a never-ending merry-go-round of conflicting emotions. But it is the terrifically subtle screenplay and masterful direction of Taverner that makes the viewer feel they are witnessing a genuine experience of life rather than a filmed entertainment.

This film is not for everyone, but the audience that is receptive to its charms will feel deeply moved and enriched by the experience.
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9/10
Film Noir Par Excellence
9 March 2024
As the film begins, the viewer will feel he is one step ahead of the plot. But this notion is quickly dispelled as a number of twists and turns keep things fresh in the excellently plotted screenplay (based on a serial in the Saturday Evening Post).

Ida Lupino is her usual excellent self and Howard Duff exudes a casual charm that is thoroughly winsome. But what really sets this project head and shoulders above many similar efforts is the fantastically moody lighting in the extended action sequence at its conclusion. A whole series of beautifully framed and lit shots are so expertly rendered it almost became a distraction for me from the unfolding action.

Secondary performances are uniformly excellent and by the time of the end credits I was completely won over. Great fun, expertly crafted.
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10/10
Once in a Lifetime Experience
22 February 2024
I've never seen anything like this before: Andrew Scott plays every role in an adaptation of Chekhov's Uncle Vanya and delivers an astonishing performance. One quickly becomes accustomed to the conceit of one actor utilising a multiplicity of gestures, inflections, body language and mannerisms to depict different characters; Scott's exceptional skills in carrying this off have to be seen to be fully appreciated.

The adaptation of Chekhov's material is expertly devised and although there are many, many laughs in this production, what really strikes home is the deep emotional intensity of the performance. Scott is in tears at several points and it is both heartbreaking and exhilarating to witness.

Anyone who has the slightest interest in the theatre should make it a point to catch this film. Wonderfully filmed, with expressive and thoughtful camera work, it is an undiluted triumph for all concerned.
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Infiltration (2022)
9/10
Action Film With a Difference
19 February 2024
This film is highly recommended for a number of reasons. Firstly, it was written and directed by star Aleksey Chadov, a top Russian film actor who exudes charisma and likeability in all his films.

Secondly, on a purely action film level, Chadov more than delivers, with explosive action sequences that are superbly executed. The viewer barely has time to catch his breath after one firefight before the next one hits the screen.

But perhaps most importantly, the film deals with both the tensions and the alliances that arise between the numerous groupings that feature in the events depicted: Russian and American troops, Syrian civilians and ISIS terrorists, even domestic differences among Russians and Chechens and Russian commanders vs. The troops they lead.

This is all handled with intelligence and finesse, and despite the international tensions that exist at the time of writing, as an American I was cheering for the success of the Russian hero, who will completely win you over with his humanity and courage.

Available on DVD from the USA with English subtitles, this one's well worth seeking out.
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9/10
Expertly Overheated Melodrama
18 February 2024
Films like this aren't for everyone. But if you like trashy, flashy melodrama artfully executed, you can't get much better than this.

This film deserves a 9-star rating on the basis of the opening credits and closing sequence alone, both brilliant and creative. Being a black cat afficianado will bring added delight.

Although the cast reportedly despised each other, they are uniformly excellent. Laurence Harvey is cast against type and nails both the southern accent and the laconic character of the protagonist. Capucine is sexy and sultry while masterfully portraying the shifting emotions of Harvey's long lost love. And the performance from then newcomer Jane Fonda is more than competent.

If this sounds like your bag, you will fall in love with this picture, as I did. As for all the nay-sayers and detractors...well, they just don't get it.
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10/10
The Power of Love
28 January 2024
There are so many wonderful aspects of this film, it's hard to know where to start. Perhaps its primary virtue is the respect it shows its audience: the viewer is never bludgeoned with a preferred interpretation of the events depicted, but instead is left to draw his own conclusions.

Secondly, the performances of all four leads is staggeringly good, starting with the understated but emotionally complex performance from Andrew Scott in the central role. He is utterly convincing in a performance that is both heartbreaking and uplifting.

Claire Foy also dazzles in a pitch perfect performance as Scott's mother, while Jamie Bell touches deeply with an effortless performance as the father. It's hard to remember a more subtle demonstration of masculine vulnerability by an actor.

What truly gives the film its power is the deft manner it conveys the dimensions of love, whether between parents and child or between struggling lovers. In an astonishing visual coup de grace, Andrew Haigh illustrates the power of love to transcend both time and space.

Mention must also be made of the skillful integration of Eighties pop into the soundtrack, with appropriate lyrics matched seamlessly with unfolding events.

Ultimately, this film achieves the highest of cinematic accomplishments by demonstrating the transcendent power of love in a universe that can often seem uncaring.

This is truly a classic.
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Joyland (2022)
10/10
Close to Perfection
28 December 2023
A beautiful and powerful film that packs its punch with great subtlety and finesse. Nearly all the main characters are haunted by complex social and sexual needs that interplay in a beautifully woven narrative.

This Pakistani writer/director shows contemporary Hollywood how gender issues can be dealt with without the heavy-handed and preachy woke-ism that infect most American productions. The viewer is left to draw his own conclusions regarding the rights and wrongs of what is presented. But the beautifully observed portrayals never fail to ring true and utterly believable.

When I read the plot synopsis stating the main character falls for a trans woman, I had a feeling this was going to be preachy and predictable. Happily, I couldn't have been more wrong.

By the close of events, I felt stunned to the point of speechlessness. I could easily have immediately watched the film all over again, and have no doubt I will revisit it. A must-see.
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Frig (2018)
8/10
Extreme Cinema for Sophisticated Audiences
25 September 2023
I avoid music described as "easy listening." Likewise, I abjure shallow, commercial cinema that might be described as "easy viewing." Frig is not easy viewing under anyone's definition.

Rather than a narrative framework, Hickling's project is an impressionistic work in three parts incorporating performance art, dance, music and the visual arts. It is not an easy film to watch and there are no doubt a considerable number of film goers who will find themselves unable to stick it out to the project's conclusion.

This is indeed a pity, as the film must be seen in its entirety to be properly appreciated. The sadism and scatology of the disturbing middle section is tempered by both the magical forest sequence that follows it and the idyllic scenes that precede it in part one. Taken as a whole, one can appreciate the kaleidoscope of both darkness and light that contribute to Hickling's overall vision.

Ultimately, with a film such as this, the question must be asked: is the use of such dark and frequently grotesque images an honest expression of a sincerely held artistic vision or is it intended merely to disturb and offend complacent audiences? With Hickling it is clear both from this individual film and the other two parts of the trilogy ("Little Gay Boy" and "Where Horses Go to Die") that there is a cinematic intelligence at work here that is both fearless and relentlessly sincere.

It is a matter of personal inclination whether a viewer is prepared to go all the way with Hickling on his dark adventures, but a failure of courage on the part of the viewer is in no way a reflection on the creator's accomplishment.
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High Tension (1936)
8/10
Superb Light-hearted Fare from Allan Dwan
4 September 2023
This is the type of film that has to be judged in its own terms. It doesn't set out to be groundbreaking or cerebral; it aims are to simply entertain and raise the occasional chuckle. It succeeds in both these aims admirably.

Brian Donlevy is a force of nature as the lead, brash to a fault, but always forgiven for his sometimes excessive zeal. Norman Foster is perfect as the barroom piano player Donlevy takes under his wings as a fledgling underwater engineer.

The female leads, Glenda Farrell and Helen Wood, are both playful and charming, yet stand up to the men when appropriate. The plot machinations may be predictable, but are executed with skill and aplomb.

If you're looking for intellectual stimulation, look elsewhere. But it's a cracking good time you're after, High Tension will fill the bill.
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8/10
Not Ready for the Abattoir
8 August 2023
A painter of mature years embarks on a journey into his own psyche by prowling the fringes of Parisian society, opening up a vivid world of struggle and degradation, but also beauty and liberty. David is sympathetic and approachable; he is not deterred by the tough exterior or the harsh comments of the prostitutes and transexuals he encounters.

Instead, David finds renewed inspiration and a resurgent artistic vitality through his interactions, which are played out in an elliptical and expressionist style. At various points in the film I also felt a cinematic connection with Almodovar, Warhol and John Waters, surely a good sign on all three counts.

The film's title derives from an exchange toward the end, where a character asks where horses go to die, to which the sardonic response is "the abattoir." Despite their hardships, the inhabitants of Hickling's world are clearly heading in the opposite direction, extracting a flawed glamour from their unforgiving environment.

Bonus points: the excellent soundtrack also has a commercial release.
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10/10
I Have Seen God
11 June 2023
Surely there can be no higher aspiration for a work of art than to seek the ultimate truth of human existence. Bergman makes a valiant attempt to answer the most basic of all questions: Is there a God? Through a harrowing depiction of mental illness and family disintegration, he reaches tentative conclusions in a striking and unforgettable fashion.

Just as God can appear detached from human suffering, Gunnar Bjornstrand is the father who seems remote and detached in his underlying relationship with his schizophrenic daughter and her younger brother. He uses her illness as fodder for his writing and fails to engage meaningfully with the boy.

But as Karin lapses into hysterical hallucinations in which God is about to appear, the family is forced to face the reality of their dysfunction and, in doing so, reach tentative conclusions on the presence of God in that reality.

Beautifully photographed with superbly atmospheric lighting, this is a film that requires some patience as it moves towards its dramatic and profoundly moving denouement. But there is no one who can touch Bergman where, as here, he is at his most brutally honest. A cinematic masterpiece.
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The Broker (2018)
7/10
A Humane Glimpse of Contemporary Iran
31 May 2023
This is a fascinating documentary capturing the goings on in a marriage broker's office in Iran, where the drama extends not just to the troubled souls seeking a mate, but also to the women who work at the agency, who are involved in their own personal romantic complications. The ladies act as agony aunts as well as matchmakers, counseling and extending advice to both male and female clients.

As you can imagine, the cards are stacked in favor of the male of the species, who are the only ones who have the right to accept or reject proposed partners. At one point a conference hall is secured for the lonely hearts, both male and female, where candidates tell the assembly what their "standards" (or desired characteristics) are. Everyone is assigned a number, but only the men are allowed to choose prospective matches; the women's role us totally passive, hoping they receive a follow up call confirming a man has expressed an interest.

Although the all female staff are straight talkers and not shy about calling out unreasonable applicants, they are also warm and sympathetic, while remaining realistic about the restraints within which a theocratic society must operate.

It's just over an hour long, but one is left feeling satisfied that the high drama of Iranian love lives has been given a insightful and sensitive portrayal.
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9/10
Superbly Overheated Sirk Melodrama
29 May 2023
Nobody could achieve the operatic heights of outrageous melodrama like the brilliant Douglas Sirk. A major influence on German filmmaker Rainer Werner Fassbinder, among others, Sirk had a sense of style which masterfully serves the extremes of human behavior that he lovingly documents.

The star-studded cast are a delight, with Robert Stack's carpet chewing excesses nicely counterbalanced by Rock Hudson's understated turn as both Stack's best friend and lifetime rival. Lauren Bacall delivers a nuanced and complex portrayal as the third point in the triangle at the heart of events. But the picture is stolen lock, stock and barrel by Dorothy Malone asthe seductive floozy who holds Hudson's fate in her hands in the climactic courtroom scenes.

Some may deride material such as this as lowbrow trash, but it is in truth a tour de force of high camp and expertly executed entertainment. Accept it on its own terms and you will in no way be disappointed.
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7/10
The Sacred and the Profane
17 May 2023
Christian mystics often achieved a spiritual ecstacy that mirrored sexual orgasm. Ecstacy and orgasm intermingle in this trinity (pun intended) of short films from auteur Antony Hickling.

Part One is titled Conception and we begin with a journey through tunnels, mirroring the emergence of the newborn through the birth canal. Our first glimpse of the mother is of a dejected, overweight frump, who quickly transforms into a lacquered and painted lady of the night (or of a rainy afternoon, in this case).

When punters appear thin on the ground, her next stop is into a church, introducing the sacred/profane dichotomy that permeates the project in both conception and execution.

As the film progresses, we are inundated with the juxtaposition of opposing themes. Beyond the baseline sacred/profane duality, we see domination/submission; tenderness/cruelty; beauty/grotesqueries; pleasure/pain; connection/alienation: opportunism/exploitation; innocence/decadence, and on and on.

Rather than trying to impose a narrative framework on what one sees, the film is best experienced by letting the images and themes stimulate one's individual response to Hickling's cinematic provocations. I found much that was disturbing (as was clearly the director's intent), but also much that was uplifting and even inspiring. One is left with a lot to think about and with a host of emotions that are difficult to articulate but strongly felt.

This is a great film to see with (open-minded) friends, as you will have much to discuss and debate in its aftermath.
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2/10
Definitely NOT a documentary
9 May 2023
While claiming to be a documentary, it becomes clear within minutes that this is a hit piece on Israel, with no intent of presenting a balanced account. The heavily one-sided narrative is so clumsily executed that anyone with a modicum of sophistication will instinctively recognize that there must be another side to these events.

Much like news accounts that report on Israeli military actions while omitting mention of the terrorist acts which prompted them, the film neglects to mention the desperate plight of Holocaust survivors who were turned away from country after country before finally turning to their ancestral Jewish homeland.

Similarly, the film complains of Israel building a wall while omitting to mention the acts of Palestinian terrorists which necessitated the building of the wall as a defensive measure.

In short, this is a dishonest and biased polemic with the clear intent of inciting antipathy to Israel and the Jewish people. It is unworthy of your time unless you're an anti-Semite who hasn't yet got their fill of Israel bashing, to which we are already constantly bombarded.
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Knives Out (2019)
2/10
Hollywood at Its Worst (Revised Version)
1 January 2023
I watched this in anticipation of watching the second film in the series. I've saved myself some time by doing so, as I won't be going anywhere near the new one.

This hollow, soulless piece of cinematic polyester is phony and clumsy at best and simply laughable (but not in a good way) at worst. The characters are as believable as Daniel Craig's painful Foghorn Leghorn accent and the ridiculously overcomplicated plot is a time-wasting exercise in mental masturbation. The whole thing is phony to its core, and while it thinks it's clever-clever, it's simply stupid-stupid.

Naturally, since Hollywood's elites feel compelled to inject their tiresome woke politics into EVERYTHING, there is an extraneous political conversation inserted into the script, with a dig at Trump and his supporters being labeled Nazis. What's this got to do with the plot? Nothing, but the luvvies need to constantly parade their disdain for the unwashed masses who don't concur with their political viewpoint.

I've been watching a lot of classic international cinema on the Criterion Channel and I suppose it makes the contrived artificiality of films like this all the more annoying in comparison . This film fails as either entertainment or art and instead stands as yet one more example of the artistic black hole that is mainstream US cinema. Repulsive on every level...
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My Policeman (2022)
10/10
Moving and Heartfelt
20 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The setup for the plot is brilliant: former same sex lover of a now married man suffers a stroke and is now cared for by the former lover's wife. Rupert Everett as the stroke victim has almost no dialogue, but effectively conveys the hopelessness and depression when his former lover refuses to see him, even though they are both under the same roof.

I am mystified by the barbs thrown in other reviews at Harry Styles, who is natural and convincing in the difficult role of the younger version of Everett's character, Tom. Emma Corrin is charming in a subtle performance as the younger Marion, while Gina McKee somewhat underplays the elderly Marion.

The film highlights the challenges facing gay people in earlier times without being overly preachy or didactic. If some film goers find this picture does not resonate with them, there is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't reflect a lack of quality in the movie itself. Highly recommended!
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Bros (I) (2022)
6/10
It Coulda Been a Contender
2 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The elements were here for what could have been a great crossover success. However, it is spoiled by excessive preachiness and feels very much agenda-driven rather than focusing on simply being entertaining. Here in the UK, the preaching starts before the film even gets underway, with Eichner introducing a reel of flamboyant, super-swishy ads that would have put many straight cinema goers in immediate doubt about their film choice.

Similarly, the film sledgehammers gay didacticism at every turn, with a LGBT museum at the heart of the plot and a parade of stereotypes on the museum board (trans woman of colour, token bisexual, blah blah blah). We are lectured by the lead character that second graders should be taught about the sexual orientation of historical figures (patently inadvisable) and the film ends with his boyfriend's straight mother dutifully taking her second grade class to the gay museum and telling the smug protagonist, "Yes, you were right, these second graders need to be confronted with the homosexuality of historical figures." Bah! Eichner needs to have a sit-down with Gays Against Groomers.

There are also several moments where you feel Eichner is trying to shock straight audiences with sexual frankness, repeatedly focusing on group sex, talking about "your massive penis going into my tiny anus", etc etc. None of this adds anything to the film.

On the plus side, Luke MacFarlane is totally endearing and underplays his role nicely. And unlike some other reviewers, I could imagine Luke's character falling for his polar opposite like Eichner. A particularly insightful scene depicts the two men actually getting into a physical altercation in a park, which leads to their first deep connection. This was nicely written and excellently portrayed.

Overall, there are a fair number of laughs here for a gay audience and Luke MacFarlane is supremely watchable in almost anything. But what could have been a big hit with general audiences is spoiled by the narcissistic Hollywood didacticism that permeates the entire enterprise.
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9/10
There Are No Heroes Here
4 September 2022
A gang of anti-gay hooligans invades a screening of a gay-themed film in Bucharest. When the police are called, they don't enter the venue, but instead loiter outside making bigoted jokes. Meanwhile one of the audience members is beaten until comatose.

From this scenario there would appear to be clear heroes and villains. But in this beautifully shaded and nuanced film, there is both blame and sympathy elicited for all the parties: a news media that is energized and proactive but is more interested in creating a stage-managed narrative than reporting the truth; a police force with some reactionary and prejudiced officers, but which also contains men of courage and selflessness ; and finally the totality of Romanian society, struggling with overcoming outmoded attitudes ("the EU thinks we're barbarians").

There are also rivalries and personality clashes within the various groups, adding color and detail to the depiction of these flawed but all too human protagonists. The thoroughly unexpected climax is expertly written and performed, bringing this thoughtful and perceptive film to a more than satisfying conclusion.
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Bullet Train (2022)
5/10
An Overstuffed Monstrosity
3 August 2022
It's clear a film is less than successful when an added scene pops up one or two minutes into the credits, and, rather than pausing to watch, the audience quickly glances up then resumes their escape from the auditorium as quickly as possible.

This film felt like it ran for days on end. It reminded me of a dinner we had in a tourist restaurant in Morocco where the courses kept coming and coming until we began to despair. And yet on it went...just look like this movie.

There was clearly a fair amount of technical talent that went into this turkey, but creative inspiration was noticeably absent. Instead of anything original, the viewer is subjected to an endless stream of sub-Tarantino and sub-Guy Ritchie guff that someone apparently thought was clever. Even cameos from Channing Tatum and a painfully face-lifted Sandra Bullock add zero to the experience.

In sum, this expensive fiasco is like an evening gown that incorporates $10,000 worth of material in a design by a JC Penney junior assistant: gaudy, vulgar and a colossal misfire.
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