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rcoulam999
Reviews
Family Guy: Blind Ambition (2005)
I nearly wet myself
This is such a hilarious episode, because Peter gets to fight the chicken. Again. It's fortunate that the chicken fights are so incredibly entertaining, because otherwise I would start to believe that the writers were incapable of filling the allotted time. But they obviously are scraping the depths of the barrel anyway, because this really isn't funny. None of it. Hey - let's use up some time with the big chicken! Hey - let's use up some time with the big chicken! Hey - let's use up some time with the big chicken! Hey - let's use up some time with the big chicken! Ad nauseam. And on and on and on. How anyone finds this funny is beyond me.
Jigsaw (1979)
A bit too much for the little ones, perhaps
I thought this was a brilliant series. Mind you, even when it was first broadcast, I was about 10 years outside its target demographic. It came across as a very clever spoof of children's programmes - the utterly terrifying Mr Noseybonk was exactly the sort of thing that adults could put into a show without contemplating the severe psychological trauma that it would generate. Seriously, did nobody look at Noseybonk and think, "There's something just a little bit sinister about him"? Wilf Lunn had been a genuine childhood favourite from his appearances on "Vision On"; Sylvester McCoy and David Rappaport were reassuringly odd; and everyone, but everyone, was in love with Janet Ellis. Magical stuff for a lazy teenage afternoon. Just don't let the kids watch.
The Facts of Life (1960)
Inexplicable
Lucille Ball is really slumming it here - she deserves better than this trite piece of garbage. The very idea that Bob Hope could take enough time off from being in love with himself to pay attention to anyone else is something that should be considered at great length - I have never understood how he built a reputation as a comedian. To me, he is as amusing as an irritating skin disease, except that a good scratch won't make him go away. How the Hollywood powers that be imagined that ploughing money into this desperately un... sorry, I can't be bothered. Bob Hope never has been funny. Never ever.
'Allo 'Allo! (1982)
Please, not again
I truly fail to understand how anyone could be entertained by hearing exactly the same "jokes" in every single episode. "Good moaning" really wasn't that funny the first time, so why is it always greeted with such hilarity? Everything about this show is barely one step above basement level: "The Fallen Madonna with the big Boobies" - let's all roll about in the aisles at the Wildean wit of that one; the national stereotypes that, far from never getting old, should have been long dead and buried; the schoolboy sniggering at 'rude' words - ooh, how naughty! I've often read that the Germans like the series. Would that be the same Germans who are renowned for not having a sense of humour? That just about sums it up.
Family Guy (1999)
Grow up, MacFarlane
Series 8, episode 13: "Go, Stewie, Go". I know that this show ("Family Guy", just to use up a few more characters) likes to 'push the boundaries' (or, if you prefer, gratuitously offend as many different groups and sensibilities as possible in the name of "comedy"), but the so-called 'joke' about Pan Am flight 103, which was horrifically blown up over Lockerbie in 1988, went, in my opinion, far too far. Seth MacFarlane seems to me to be an overgrown schoolboy who is never told to act like a responsible adult. Someone should find some guts and tell him that there is a vast difference between tickling your audience's ribs and spitting in their faces.
Warbirds (2008)
Delightfully stupid, but...
Surely any WW2 plane would be able to fly much faster than a pterodactyl.
I have a certain amount of respect for those who came up with such a ridiculous idea for a film.
Abandoned Engineering (2016)
Don't be fooled
Until 30 minutes ago, I'd have given this an 8 or a 9. Now it gets a 3 for the simple reason that it lies.
In s3, e6, they state that "Today the site (La Coupole) is a ruin". It isn't - it's been a museum since 1997, and I visited it less than 4 weeks before the programme aired.
The stories are fascinating enough without having to tell outright porkies. So why did they lie? Merely to justify the title? I don't know, but I 've lost my trust in this series.
Abandoned Engineering: Hitler's Wonder Weapon Bunker (2019)
You what?
I generally enjoy this series, but I was utterly gobsmacked when, during the segment about La Coupole in this episode, the voiceover said, "Today, the site is a ruin."
The source of my puzzlement was the fact that I'd been inside it less than 4 weeks before the episode aired. I visited the museum and the coffee shop, gave the planetarium a miss, and had a long chart in my abysmal French with one of the staff.
Now I've checked, and have learnt that the museum opened in 1997. It's not the end of the world, but I've completely lost my faith in this series. I hate being lied to, and can only assume they talked tosh just to justify the title.
The King of Queens (1998)
What's funny about being self-centred?
I thought Frasier Crane and Ray Barone were the epitome of characters who narcissistically and shamelessly manipulate those around them (their nominal 'nearest and dearest') for their own benefit. Yet the happy couple in TKOQ are soaring into the stratosphere: every episode has as its premise the efforts of Doug and/or Carrie to exploit and demean those unfortunate (or stupid) enough to enter their realm. And they get away with it. How? Why hasn't Deacon snapped and slaughtered them? Is it some bizarre form of Care in the Community - 'Yes, they're unbearable ****s who will stop at nothing to get their own way. Your lives will be a succession of humiliations, but they just can't help themselves'?
I gave this 2 because Arthur is sporadically amusing, but most of the time he's also an unbearable ****.
The Thing (1982)
The most chilling film I've ever seen
I saw this film when it first came out, and my jaw dropped so far that I couldn't eat for five days. Bloody, violent (and giving the Norwegians a hard time, just for the hell of it). Fantastic. "I don't know what's in there, but it's weird and p***ed off, whatever it is." Could you come up with a better line than that? If you thought about it for a million years, you'd still be hard pushed. That's what "The Thing" is all about. At a superficial level, it's a gory, blood-drenched horror show (and full credit to it for its utter gratuity). But probe a bit deeper, and you will find an intriguing exploration of what it means to cling onto your own existence, and then you have to ask yourself: "What would I do to stay alive?"
Evil Dead II (1987)
Superb
Gory, bloody, gut-wrenching and hysterically funny at the same time. A true masterwork. I loved "The Evil Dead" because it was the first film that really terrified me ("The Exorcist" came close, but I was eating pizza at the time, so the impact was slightly diminished). But "Evil Dead II" takes everything to another level. Don't go to an isolated cabin in the middle of a malevolent forest - you know it's going to turn out bad. BUT - if you choose to ignore everything sensible (i.e. don't go there in the first place), be prepared to confront the Devil in all his forms. And take a change of clothes - you are guaranteed to be covered in blood. And it will be the blood of someone you love. And then you'll have to dismember her. With a chainsaw. Superb.
Panic in the Skies! (1996)
Stupid, but entertaining
Who cares if it's utterly, utterly ridiculous and implausible? Never heard of "the willing suspension of disbelief"? It is a miserably wet November afternoon, but "Panic In The Skies" has cheered me enormously. With more cheese than a pile of ripening socks, and enough improbability to drive Heisenberg to drink, this film has to set some sort of clichés-per-minute record, which I suspect will never be challenged. Astounding effort. I give this one ten out of ten for the mad dog alone. I hated "CHiPS" because I thought Erik Estrada was rubbish; I loved "PITS" (somehow appropriate?) for much the same reason - Erik was truly in his element here. A simple rule for life: don't get on a plane if you recognise one of the flight attendants from TV.