Change Your Image
only_myschly
Reviews
The Number 23 (2007)
"Page-turner", entertaining, but nothing more.
I was amused during the movie, and I really enjoyed it (although the ending was kind of too much), but the problem I face is that I'm in the middle between two worlds.
One the one side, we have the critics and all the pretentious people. I see their objections, and I agree with them, but I cannot understand how they can stand to view everything that way. There are some movies where you shouldn't analyze. You should just sit back and eat popcorn. This is one of those movies.
Then comes the other part of the population, the majority, and in this case, the target audience. (I'll use Saw as an example to not spoil anything) In the end of Saw, they've got sort of a "recap", to explain every detail to everybody who didn't fully comprehend what just happened. Now this is needed for some people in the so called "target audience", and is therefore necessary. Too bad that these endings ruin the movie for oh so many people.
The movie is definitely worth seeing, and I enjoyed it. But if you consider yourself even the least pretentious, try to shut off your brain for a while, and you while be entertained.
Apocalypto (2006)
Same thing as Passion of the Christ, only a combat instead of constant torture
What was Passion of the Christ? A couple of hours of a guy being tortured, everybody spoke an ancient language which hardly anybody knows nowadays, and it was saying "Oh hurray Christianity!", even though it didn't really teach us anything about Christianity except that Jesus suffered a lot of pain.
What is Apocalypto? A couple of hours of a guy who's having a really bad day, everybody speaks an ancient language, and Christianity, can anybody guess? Yes Christianity is our hero, even though there wasn't anything about Christianity in the movie.
The difference between Apocalypto and Passion of the Christ is that the guy actually fights back. Instead of just being tortured for a long time, this man is on a mission, and has to do some justified killing along the way.
This movie was worthless. All there was to it were some fancy props, a lot of gory action scenes, and a message about how Christianity is a good thing. It had no plot, no meaning, and left me wondering "why did I watch this movie?". The only thing that was good about me watching this movie, is that I can now properly explain why it is total rubbish.
Sicko (2007)
Michael Moores best yet
Bowling for Columbine was really good, Fahrenheit 9/11 was OK. Sicko, was brilliant.
Sicko brings up a very important issue in the USA today, one that has gotten very little attention, in comparison to its importance. Although this movie is about a serious problem, it still has those witty feel-good moments that Michael Moore provides. They provide a light in the dark, so that you don't feel depressed and spend the entire movie sobbing (although there are a fair share of moments where it's hard to keep yourself from crying), but rather you feel inspired to want to change the situation.
He points out how the people in France protest to make their lives better, instead of fearing their government. He shows Americans what the true meaning of democracy is.
In short, this is a great movie, which, hopefully will change the world.
Children of the Living Dead (2001)
Second-worst Zombiemovie I've ever seen.
The worst? Zombie Planet. I could watch about 20 minutes before I fast forwarded and just saw bits and pieces, ending up in a total 25 minutes. This movie I watched for about 30 minutes, fast forwarded, hoping there'd be a light at the end of the tunnel. But there wasn't. There was nothing good about this movie. I mean they couldn't even manage having good zombie-shooting, which is one of the easiest things to do!
My patience really, REALLY ran thin when they had some guy shooting a zombie and then another one would come, from what I saw, thin air and bite his neck.
It was just so worthless, that all who were involved in the movie (who didn't do it ONLY because they desperately needed the money) should go to prison. No joke.
Blood Diamond (2006)
One of the better movies I've seen.
This is definitely one of the must-see movies of not only 2006, but of all time.
If you liked Hotel Rwanda, you will love this movie. I thought Hotel Rwanda was a 10/10, and an incredible movie that displayed the cold truth, but I must say, where Hotel Rwanda failed, Blood Diamond succeeded. Blood Diamond displays how dire the situation is in these areas, at the same time as it is a great movie. I didn't experience a single boring moment. It had the perfect amount of action and tragedy, at the same time as it showed that no matter how cruel the world is, life goes on, and good deeds are made.
I think the world needs more of these types of movies. It has an important political message, while at the same time being a wonderful movie. That way political awareness is spread in a so called "user friendly" media.
Watch Blood Diamond, and I promise you, you won't want your time or money back. It's one of the best movies, ever, no doubt.
Zombie Planet (2004)
Worst Zombie Movie ever.
Now, I'm a big fan of Zombie movies. I admit Zombie movies usually aren't all that good, but I like them anyways. Despite the crappy acting and worthless dialogues that occur in almost all Zombie movies, this one is by far the worst. See, there are a few ground rules with zombie-movies. 1. Zombies are suicidal. Tactics is seldom used, and NEVER do they act like a boxer. They don't dodge a blow to the head, they take it with a ugly smile. They don't try and hit you in the face, they grab a hold of your arm and bite it! 2. Zombies can't speak. Only in Evil Dead. Otherwise, they DO NOT SPEAK. 3. You don't fight zombies with melee-ranged weapons. You loose in a melee fight against zombies. Firearms are used. In this movie however, melee is the way to go, which is wrong. Very wrong.
It had NO redeeming qualities.
If you wish to see a Zombie movie, see one with an average score higher than 3 on IMDb.com
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Great book, bad movie.
I loved the Harry Potter books, well, I still do, so I was hoping for the movies to be good to. Well, I was wrong. The first 2 movies were okay, they were short and they didn't have any real feel to them, but they weren't really bad. The 3rd movie, oh man, I hated it. It WAS bad. Flying dementors?!? The dementors are supposed to move like Mike Myers in Halloween or something! But, as bad as the 3rd one was, it was better than the 4th. The 3rd movie didn't have those really annoying things like the 3rd one had (Flying dementors, Tom the Innkeeper being a hunch-backed retard), but this movie just was bad. There wasn't anything good about it. Don't wast your money watching this movie. Heck, if you get to see it free, don't. You're better off spending your time trying to cut your toenails into the exact shape you want them.
American Beauty (1999)
Wonderful movie
I don't know how to really describe it except that if you're not prude you WILL love this movie.
The acting, perfect. The shooting, perfect. The music, perfect. The script, perfect.
I don't know how much of help this has been, so all I have to say is 'Go watch this movie, but not with your kids if you have any'. You wont regret it, it's easily one of the best movies ever made, I usually don't like movies with lots of half-erotic scenes, since it sometimes gets boring, but this movie is an exception. The sorrows in the characters lives and their turning points makes you reflect on your life, and I must say that even though my life isn't like any of theirs I feel like I've learned a lot from this movie.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
It pretty much sucked
I'm seriously... It had potential to go somewhere.. but it never did. No good plot, though this wouldn't have to be necessary. Only problem is that if you don't have a plot you need one-liners and such, which Napoleon Dynamite didn't. The funniest was probably his name, Napoleon Dynamite. Don't take me wrong it's not the worst movie I've seen, is just that nothing was funny, there was no moral, there was nothing they wanted to say, nothing that makes you think, it was just really bad. The characters are all either too shy or their actor is just too crappy. I would very much appreciate it if anyone would tell me what's supposed to be good with this movie.
Kevin & Perry Go Large (2000)
Worst movie I've ever seen
I'm seriously... HOW CAN YOU FIND THIS FUNNY!?!?? I mean the boner-thing? "oh look, they got a boner, tihihiihihihihihihi" no seriously, I had the same face during the entire movie as I have when I'm in history class... I don't know if you could make this film worse... oh yeah wait, it would be worse if the zit-popping scene would've been like 10 minutes long, and if Kevin's parents would've started partying in end. Anything else, would've made movie better. I don't believe there is a heaven and a hell, but I do believe that if hell exists, the demons are all looking for jobs since this movie was made. Some people obviously seem to think this movie has a good soundtrack (which IMO it doesn't), and I guess that's the only thing I could accept to be good. Their voices, the voices, I hate that voice! This old geezer trying to sound like he's in puberty, I'm surprised no1 on the camera crew didn't shoot him.