These reviews are insane. Wow, thanks to all the definitely real reviewers who raved about the movie in the exact same way and so many of you made sure to mention where we could buy a DVD of this video, wow Mukesh Asopa couldn't have hoped for a better review even if he wrote them himself...... hmm....... anyway this movie is terrible. But please believe all the glowing reviews here, buy it and judge for yourself. I doubt they will give you a refund though. You've been warned..... this movie is terrible, terrible, terrible. Doesn't even qualify as a movie if you ask me.
Reviews
19 Reviews
The Mob
(1951)
Broderick Crawford Classic
20 September 2018
This is a very underrated film noir, cops vs. crooks type movie. Broderick Crawford was a great actor in these types of films and this is one of the better scripts he had to work with. It's a good story that's not too predictable, there's some other good actors and the mood of the movie is actually quite good start to finish with a nice pace to the story.
Chambers Gate
(2014)
Terrible
20 September 2018
This movie is terrible. Even for a zero budget independent movie the acting and writing stand out as terrible. Not sure what these other reviewers watched but it could not have been this video, or maybe they are the people who made it.....
Zombie Beach
(2010)
Rubbish
20 September 2018
This movie is rubbish. The worst script, acting and production value I've seen in any zombie movie ever, and that's saying a lot since there are so many truly awful independent zombie knock-off B-movies out there. The director clearly has no idea what he's doing.
Plus I get the very strong feeling most of these ratings and reviews are also rubbish. How many reviewers mention all the different festivals they saw it at, using similarly flawed English, and raving about the film's "craft" and other small details nobody but crew/cast/families/friends would ever care about? I doubt even 100 people saw this movie let alone bothered to write a review. Plus to be frank there's no way that many people honestly would give this movie a 10 or 9 rating, that just doesn't pass he smell test for a movie this amateurish, boring and frankly, bad.
For a zombie movie it doesn't even have zombies! Like four people in bad makeup for what, two minutes of total time? This movie is terrible and so are these glowing reviews. #fakenews
Plus I get the very strong feeling most of these ratings and reviews are also rubbish. How many reviewers mention all the different festivals they saw it at, using similarly flawed English, and raving about the film's "craft" and other small details nobody but crew/cast/families/friends would ever care about? I doubt even 100 people saw this movie let alone bothered to write a review. Plus to be frank there's no way that many people honestly would give this movie a 10 or 9 rating, that just doesn't pass he smell test for a movie this amateurish, boring and frankly, bad.
For a zombie movie it doesn't even have zombies! Like four people in bad makeup for what, two minutes of total time? This movie is terrible and so are these glowing reviews. #fakenews
Kansas Raiders
(1950)
Good - A Typical Audie Murphy Western
19 September 2018
If you're a fan of Audie Murphy's many other western films you'll like this one too. There's not really any surprises here, it's just a well done boilerplate 1950s western film. Murphy is good as always. It's faster paced than a lot of westerns of this era too, with plenty of gun-fighting action to go around.
Quicksand
(1950)
Good Film Noir
10 September 2018
This is a good old 1950 film noir movie. The most interesting thing about it is that the star of it is actually Mickey Rooney who is not known for doing serious, dramatic, crime movies like this one.
It's actually a decent story, well written and good acting, including from Mickey Rooney.
It's actually a decent story, well written and good acting, including from Mickey Rooney.
Prison Break
(2005–2017)
Season One Great
8 September 2018
Season one was amazing but the problem is nothing after that is nearly as good or even interesting. Once they finish season one their objectives are all done and it just becomes a repeating season story from then on. Too bad.
Homeland
(2011–2020)
Off the Rails
8 September 2018
This once great show has gone off the rails. I find it hard to rate it because I really loved the first 3 seasons, season 4 was just OK, and season 5 on has just been complete garbage. Really awful writing the last few seasons and frankly it is just getting repetitive and boring. You can see the twists coming and it's the same cycle of mental breakdowns and professional breakthroughs... yada yada yada...
Classic Silent Film
8 September 2018
This is a classic silent movie and one of Lillian Gish's best performances. She's really great in this. She plays the young daughter of a violent, ill-tempered boxer who mistreats her, eats all her food, beats her etc. She befriends a Chinese ex-missionary who falls under her spell. The story is great and the ending is poetic and wonderful. This movie will move you.
What This Movie Proves-- And Its Only Point
8 September 2018
This movie proves that anything that is taped can be listed on IMDB. Seriously this is a video made by a guy in his basement with no actors, out of focus and very dark unwatchable video, and sound so bad it must be taped with whatever old camera (or maybe it is an older phone) and you can't make out anything they are saying. Also instead of editing it is just a mess of very long pointless shots (again you can't see or hear what the hell is going on) and it lasts MORE THAN THREE HOURS!
YES MORE THAN THREE HOURS and not one minute of it is even near the ballpark of being watchable.
THE ONLY REASON for this video to exist is to torture people with it by seeing how long they can possibly make it before they give up. We skipped through most of it just trying to get to anything watchable so that we could write a review of it on an indie horror site and even though we were doing it as part of our job and skipped most of it we only made it to the one hour mark then randomly skipped through the rest in big chunks just to kind of sort of say we watched it.
In the end we were very kind and did not review it (also we did not want to give any attention to this as it does not qualify as a movie in my opinion). If we prevented even one person from watching this online I am a happy guy.
But since you're here you already know this movie exists so hopefully this review can help you too. Don't bother trying to watch this unless you hate yourself very much. Seriously it is an UNWATCHABLE VIDEO A GUY MADE IN HIS BASEMENT.
YES MORE THAN THREE HOURS and not one minute of it is even near the ballpark of being watchable.
THE ONLY REASON for this video to exist is to torture people with it by seeing how long they can possibly make it before they give up. We skipped through most of it just trying to get to anything watchable so that we could write a review of it on an indie horror site and even though we were doing it as part of our job and skipped most of it we only made it to the one hour mark then randomly skipped through the rest in big chunks just to kind of sort of say we watched it.
In the end we were very kind and did not review it (also we did not want to give any attention to this as it does not qualify as a movie in my opinion). If we prevented even one person from watching this online I am a happy guy.
But since you're here you already know this movie exists so hopefully this review can help you too. Don't bother trying to watch this unless you hate yourself very much. Seriously it is an UNWATCHABLE VIDEO A GUY MADE IN HIS BASEMENT.
The Six Million Dollar Man
(1974–1978)
Six Million Bucks!
7 September 2018
They made this guy who was practically dead a robot super agent for six million bucks. But that was 40 years ago and doesn't take inflation into account so I guess it makes sense. It's a really funny show unintentionally but Lee Majors is really cool. They do stuff like show footage backwards to make it look like he jumps up on top of buildings, make it look like he runs with super speed, etc.
The Brothers Grimm
(2005)
Disappointing
7 September 2018
I love Terry Gilliam but this was a very disappointing movie for me, and easily one of his worst. The idea of him doing a Grothers Grimm movie should be a slam dunk no matter how you look at it but this movie just doesn't have any of that magic. They just kind of plod along through with nothing special about this film at all. Very flat performances, jokes that don't really work and a lackluster story. Too bad too.
Mr. D
(2012–2018)
Does the "D" stand for "Dumbass?"
6 September 2018
Mr. Dumbass would be a better name for this show and it might actually make the show at least a little bit watchable. This show is not funny. A couple of the actors are good but most kind of suck and the star of this show is not at all funny and also is completely unlikable. Good work again Canadian TV you sure know how to pick a winner and try to cram it down our throats when nobody likes it at all. Seriously the only two people I ever talked to about this show who enjoy it at all are BOTH teachers. Is that what we're doing now, just making shows for one specific occupation to like? And why do teachers like this so much? Just because he plays a teacher in the show? Wow that's a solid base to build your fandom on. This show sucks, I can't believe it lasted multiple years.
Ghostbusters
(1984)
All Time Great Comedy
22 May 2018
This is one of the all time great comedy films. I laugh so much every time I watch this movie. The effects don't hold up as well as they could but they are still pretty solid considering this movie is from 1984. Moranis, Murray, Aykroyd etc are all really hilarious in this. Great acting, great writing (Ramis), great direction (Reitman), everything is great in the comedy here.
Orphan Black
(2013–2017)
Good, Not Perfect
6 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
There be SPOILERS ahead for season one --> I've been hearing about this show for a while, and finally got around to watching it. I found that I kind of got hooked a few episodes in, but by the end of season one I had kind of cooled off on this show a bit. I still like it and it's definitely a good show worth watching - especially for the brilliant performance of Tatiana Maslawny (spelling?) who I had never seen in anything before or I think even heard of. But I don't find the show as brilliant as everyone (and there are many) who were kind enough to recommend it to me.
I think most likely this is just a case of me having expectations that were way too high going in to this, as the bar had been set quite high by others.
At some times I think the behaviour of some of these characters isn't very real life. (i.e. SPOILERS HERE --- She doesn't just pack up her daughter and leave, why, to stay and help these people she literally just met? Elaina is a lifelong trained assassin, who we see beat the stuffing out of an "underboss" at one point, but the very next time we see her the street kid Sarah gets the better of her in a fight and tosses her in a trunk?) There are many other inconsistencies like this that took away from my enjoyment.
Also there's a couple great twists but also a few too many where you can guess exactly where they're going with characters and the story, which I really hate, especially in a show like this. I also really hate when a character dies at the end of season one, and then gets brought back at the beginning of season two. I can't overstate how much I hate when shows do that. If you kill someone, leave them dead. Don't bring them back with some weak excuse. You literally showed this character get shot, fall down and stop breathing, lying there dead the rest of the scene. Don't bring them back, especially when you can literally bring in new, similar characters played by the same actress if you want. That's just dumb - almost as stupid as the fact the other character apparently left her body there, I guess didn't make sure she was dead, and told no one about the body being there, which everyone would care about and want samples from... none of it adds up. Plus, how did this shot, shuffling, bleeding woman stumble not just to a hospital but all the way through the halls up to a nurse's station without anyone seeing her? I guess everyone who saw her just said "yeah she's probably OK." Again though I'm being nit-picky. This is still a good show well worth watching, and again, Tatiana Maslawny (spelling?) is so amazing in this that the show is really worth watching just to see her jump from character to character. It really has to be seen to be believed how great and convincing she is in all of these roles.
I think most likely this is just a case of me having expectations that were way too high going in to this, as the bar had been set quite high by others.
At some times I think the behaviour of some of these characters isn't very real life. (i.e. SPOILERS HERE --- She doesn't just pack up her daughter and leave, why, to stay and help these people she literally just met? Elaina is a lifelong trained assassin, who we see beat the stuffing out of an "underboss" at one point, but the very next time we see her the street kid Sarah gets the better of her in a fight and tosses her in a trunk?) There are many other inconsistencies like this that took away from my enjoyment.
Also there's a couple great twists but also a few too many where you can guess exactly where they're going with characters and the story, which I really hate, especially in a show like this. I also really hate when a character dies at the end of season one, and then gets brought back at the beginning of season two. I can't overstate how much I hate when shows do that. If you kill someone, leave them dead. Don't bring them back with some weak excuse. You literally showed this character get shot, fall down and stop breathing, lying there dead the rest of the scene. Don't bring them back, especially when you can literally bring in new, similar characters played by the same actress if you want. That's just dumb - almost as stupid as the fact the other character apparently left her body there, I guess didn't make sure she was dead, and told no one about the body being there, which everyone would care about and want samples from... none of it adds up. Plus, how did this shot, shuffling, bleeding woman stumble not just to a hospital but all the way through the halls up to a nurse's station without anyone seeing her? I guess everyone who saw her just said "yeah she's probably OK." Again though I'm being nit-picky. This is still a good show well worth watching, and again, Tatiana Maslawny (spelling?) is so amazing in this that the show is really worth watching just to see her jump from character to character. It really has to be seen to be believed how great and convincing she is in all of these roles.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
(2000–2023)
Hilarious
4 January 2014
This show is so amazing and it is one of the most original and unique shows on TV of all time. I love this show just because it is so incredibly funny but on top of that it is also unlike anything else you will ever see on TV anywhere else. Just look at the cast of characters and you will see what I mean. The leader of the group is an order of french fries with a goatee who hovers everywhere he goes, is powered by a jewel in his back, and can shoot lasers out of his eyes. He is joined by a know-it-all obnoxious giant fast food drinking cup with a straw sticking out of his head who can shoot globs of green milkshake out of it but it's not very impressive. The third member of their group is a brainless ball of meat named meatwad who rolls everywhere they go. Most of the stories involve them somehow torturing their fat, bald, hairy bodied neighbor named Carl.
Match Game
(2012– )
For Fresher Jokes Watch "Match Game 73"
4 January 2014
and that show was on in 1973. That is everything you need to know about this show. Match Game is a terrible revamp of what was a popular game show back in the 70's where comedians would sit on a panel and the host would make a statement leaving one word blank (i.e. he was a bad dentist because he would keep his toothbrush in the 'blank') and they would make up an answer, either a real answer or a gag answer, and however many matched the answer the contestant gave that's how many points they would get. The problem is this new version doesn't have any good comedians on it. Just some U.S. kind of sort of recognizable people (like one of the correspondents from Daily Show with John Stewart) but nobody really funny. The people on the show every week are washed up horrible comics like Debora Digivani and Sean Cullen from Much Music and CBC like 10 years ago still doing the same gags. Also like the other reviewer said all the comedians go for the exact same dirty jokes every single question with most of them using words like penis or ass over and over again. When it's never funny they just say it louder and louder or even just start singing. These people are so desperate to be entertaining and they are not. The people on this show are not funny at all and they know it. The host even looks embarrassed to be there. The prizes aren't even good. This show is really horrible it must cost them like ten dollars to make it otherwise why is this on TV?
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