maik-buetefuer's Reviews

Twisted Metal (2023– )

3/10

28 April 2024

Look, I'm old enough to remember the games and I enjoyed them, but I really don't care about any stuff that is lost in adaption. It doesn't matter. This is just so bad on every conceivable level. It's ugly, it's cheap, it's unfunny, it's badly shot and acted, it's boring and it has no redeemable qualities. It takes itself way too seriously, yet it wants to be edgy, it has hardly any action in it and what is there looks laughably bad. Anthony Mackie seems like a nice dude, but he is simply unfunny. Beatriz is even worse, though I mostly blame the script. It all feels more like a YouTube miniseries than something professional. After having recently watched Fallout, this looks like something from another planet. I was hoping for something along the lines of Death Race. Either like the remake with some gritty violent fun or something silly like the original, but in the end it's neither.

They renewed it for a second season and maybe they get some more budget, but even then I have very little hope for anything better.

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Gran Turismo (2023)

3/10

Unbelievable. Literally.

17 February 2024

I mean, if this was a commercial special on YouTube, it would be great. But as a movie, oh my God. It's abysmal. The look, the production design, the acting, the dialogue, it's all like it's from another planet. If you watch Rush or Days of Thunder, you have characters, you have stakes, emotion, literally anything. This movie is so devoid of any soul, any core. I honestly can't believe how bad it is. I don't mind the commercial aspect of it, I could maybe even accept the anachronistic nature of it all, but this fails at every fundamental of movie making and several times I burst out laughing. Heck, even Driven is a better movie. And less awkward. And that movie has a German character named Beau Brandenburger in it. Think about that. 😂

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American Ninja (1985)

6/10

Come for the silly action, stay for Dudikoff looking like a young Ryan Gosling

25 December 2023

I don't really think anybody needs another review of this movie since everybody who is even remotely interested in it has seen it. It's basically an R rated kids movie. However, what I do want to mention is the uncanny similarity between the young Michael Dudikoff and Ryan Gosling. Dudikoff, especially in the beginning of the movie it's just the completely silent, mysterious guy, and it almost feels like if you watch Drive now, maybe it was meant it as a parody? To me, it's really uncanny and maybe Dudikoff never received the praise he should've received since the rest of the movie is rather dull, cheap looking and silly and has one of the worst and most annoying sound tracks of any movie I've ever seen.

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Jack Ryan: Ghosts (2022)

Season 3, Episode 6

Bit silly, no? 😂

24 December 2022

Warning: Spoilers

What a brilliant mind Jack Ryan is. As has been pointed out already, it's laughably stupid that the two soldiers start running instead of simply stopping two trucks and hop aboard. However, my biggest issue with the series (apart from Jack Ryan being closer to Jack Bauer than actually Jack Ryan) is the fact every Russian speaks English, even when they are talking to each other. I get that subtitles are hard for some people, but it's just so silly, especially with these accents.

The production value is great, the pacing and tension are good, I like the general spy thriller setup, but it's such a silly and stupid plot at times with questionable ethics.

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Interceptor (2022)

3/10

I can't stop laughing - fantastic!

26 October 2022

Honestly, after 20 minutes or so, I wanted to shut it off. It was boring, looked flat and the first action scene was badly done. But the movie is like a gift that keeps on giving. It's like a script from a Chuck Norris movie from the 80s, but with some girl power thrown into it so loveably bad, it's a treat. Everything about this it's so, so bad. The music, the cinematographie, the acting, the action, the pathos. I love every minute of it, really. It takes itself so serious and is at the same time so mind bogglingly stupid.

Well, shout-out to the villain, I think he did the most with what he was given, but other than that, it's one of those movies, that are so bad, it's good. Highly recommended, even though it's a terrible movie. 😅

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The Rookie: The Shake Up (2019)

Season 1, Episode 17

4/10

How can this be so bad?

19 July 2022

I love Nathan Fillion as much as the next person and he's good in this. But the show so far, the writing, the acting, the drama, everything. It feels like a show from the 2000s. It's all so silly and dumb. Was this maybe made 20 years ago and survived in a Time Capsule? 🙈😂😂

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Black and Blue (I) (2019)

6/10

Tyrese Gibson can act!

12 October 2020

Look, the movie is competently done, it looks nice and it has some thrilling scenes. The last 20 minutes feel like they are written by a different person and the movie almost derails. However, the first hour or so is solid entertainment.

The biggest surprise though is Tyrese Gibson. He steals every scene he's in, his character feels grounded and real (again, apart from the ending). Give this man more of this, please. He alone makes this movie so much more watchable. I'm genuinely impressed.

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

2/10

The editing has to be seen to be believed

4 October 2020

You thought the editing in the second movie was horrible? You think Taken 3 had the most ridiculous editing of a man jumping over a fence? Ok, that one is still true, but this movie is on a level I did not expect. Every scene, action or not, is edited like the coffee was spilled over the keyboard and somebody wanted to hide the age of its protagonists. There should be a seizure warning.

Apart from that the movie is as silly as expected, horribly boring, dark and lazy. Watch it to appreciate average editing of other movies and for Paul Anderson striving to reach the levels of Uwe Boll. 😅

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China Salesman (2017)

It's not boring

18 July 2020

The first ten minutes set the stage. A misspelled production company (Gloden instead of Golden), a boatload of producer names, a superimposed face of Segal on a bike helmet for no apparent reason and of course a fight between Segal and Tyson. The rest of the movie is focused on a Chinese Salesman saving his business and the world. Normally you'd switch off, but I couldn't. The ridiculousness of it all, the silly dialogues, the blatant propaganda, the embarrassing effects, the ridiculous music, the editing, the story. Honestly I don't know where to start. I can honestly say I was never bored and there was more that one WTF moment in this silly heap of trash.

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Top Gear: Patagonia Special: Part 2 (2014)

Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

5/10

Just sad and outdated

7 January 2015

Warning: Spoilers

I don't know if it's just me or the world that has moved on. Watching three rich white guys drive expensive cars around poor surroundings is simply not something I want to watch anymore. Don't get me wrong, Top Gear had some brilliant seasons I can watch over and over again and at times it even had some kind of tongue in cheek tone or at least that was my impression. Clarkson always had some strong views I didn't agree with, but that's the joy of free speech. In the later seasons however, it didn't click anymore. Maybe they've lost their touch, maybe I'm more conscious of my surroundings and the world and how it is developing. Maybe I'm just a bitter old fart not seeing all the good that's happening. Who knows. I do know however, that their latest special was in fact not only slightly out of touch and offensive, it was boring. And that is something Top Gear always had going for them. The sheer entertainment value. I could watch them driving through Iraq or Bolivia for hours, but the trip to Argentina had nothing memorable to offer and the ending was just stunning. I do not condone any form of violence, but acting as they did, what exactly did they expect? They can get away with a lot, but their provocation was just stupid and I don't buy it in a heartbeat that the license plate was a coincidence and their intentions were sincere. The went too far and were thrown out. I feel sorry for them, but hardly any sympathy.

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Tekken (2010)

5/10

Actually not that bad

12 August 2010

I was surprised positively. Yes, it's a video game adaption and from what I can tell it doesn't stick too much too it story wise, but for me it was quite entertaining. It's stupid, but not yet on a level where you want to face palm yourself all the time. It's much more serious than DOA and I still like that one better, but that's mostly because of its all-out- trash-appeal and because the fight choreography is a million times better. In Tekken many fights look like training exercises, many cuts can't hide, that you're not watching one fight, but many separate actions. Plus, there are some shots that are supposed to look dramatic or cool, but the just look badly done.

But all in all, it's mildly entertaining, it does look more expensive than it was, the cos-play-factor is bearable and some ideas in the fights are nice to see. I would never buy it, but for rent it's entertaining 90 minutes of mindless fun.

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