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Reviews
White Noise (2022)
Art house smut.
I originally gave this a 5, mostly because of production value, then I thought about how much money Netflix threw at this POS and it pissed me off.
Do filmmakers understand that it is entirely possible to make a film that is tonally consistent, has some message to speak on, and is actually entertaining? It's almost like going the route less travelled was expected after the first act ended.
My wife was visibly upset with how terrible this movie was. And there's nothing particularly offensive in this; it was just that bad. I held on for hope at the end that maybe, just maybe this will turn a corner and end in a bright spot.
The only corner it turned was into a back-alley dumpster.
Spidey and His Amazing Friends (2021)
PJ Masks Rip-Off
Fun animation, but it's a total copy of PJ Masks, where you have three child heroes who go after the same three villains, and one of them always had a lesson to learn. Plus, kids shows nowadays think their audience are a bunch of idiots.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
Funny at times, but Adam Sandler's worse to date.
I'm usually the guy that convinces people to come see the latest Adam Sandler movie with me. This is gonna have to be the one I have to shun people away from. My first thoughts before going in were, "Oh, that Adam Sandler with his funny accents and even funnier hair cut..." I even expected the straight-up silly. The outrageous characters and forthcoming numerous gags were worth admission.
However far back I pushed my sense of disbelief and plausibility of these characters was shot back a little over an hour into it when it got political. Namely jokes against Mel Gibson. How am I supposed to take something satirical about tolerance of others seriously when it numerously stabs at someone who made a mistake, apologized, and has taken steps to right their wrong? And I'm supposed to laugh when the true bad guy, the American racist-redneck, believes Mel Gibson "gets him".
The fact that these filmmakers think it's evil not to vote for Obama or Hillary is what takes away the potential this film had. It contradicts itself and what America truly is. And we wonder why people around the world won't take us seriously.
On the other hand, any time Emmanuelle Chriqui or Mariah Carey are on screen is worth not digging into the bottom of your large tub of popcorn to watch.