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6/10
Great Music, Great Talent and a Lackluster Script
11 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Blues Brothers 2000 has Elwood (recently released from prison) getting the band back together in order to help raise money for a charity. Along the way he gets into trouble with the law, faces several familiar situations and lets a ten year old boy tag along.

Jake is dead (the film is unclear on the specifics),and while John Goodman was probably the best available option, he is simply not given much to work with.

Much of the talent in this film is similarly handicapped by a lackluster script, which is rarely funny or smart, and frequently offers situations done before (and better) in the original film.

The addition of a ten year old boy is especially off putting and feels like someone wanted to rebrand the franchise into something more suitable for a silly, kid-friendly Saturday Morning cartoon, or video game.

The music in the film is great, and it could be argued that the film was setup to pay tribute to some great bands and singers. Had they made it into a musical, rather then a sequel/remake, it might have been easier to come up with a better script.

However, this ain't a musical or one long music video. This movie was, at least, advertised as a long-awaited continuation of the franchise. As much as we may want to, we cannot only focus on the music.

This sequel/not-sequel often recycles events from the original (I.e. the Nazis), but doesn't improve upon them. In fact this sequel/not-sequel adds in goofy Russian gangsters. goofy cops and lots of kid-friendly goofyness, you may wonder if the script is trying to reband a smart, funny and, yes, gritty franchise into a kid-friendly, cartoon/video game.

It undercuts the sacrifice made in the first film. It introduces new characters who are not given much to do, or, in the case of the boy, seem very awkward.

Blues Brothers 2000 shines in the music department, but doesn't really seem to know why it exists. It has elements of being a sequel, a tribute, a remake of the first film, a serious look at an aging musician/ex-con, or rebranding of the series for 1990s kids,but none of these elements really work well in the movie.
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Second Glance (1992)
5/10
A Christian teen learns the value of being a Christian
29 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
A well-mannered, Christian teen is worried that his religious beliefs and his witnessing to his peers, is making him seem totally uncool.

Just how uncool is this young man? Well, he is not invited to the cool parties, is mocked on a daily basis by a jock, and has no hope of getting a cool girl to like him. Yikes! Life was tough for white, suburban teens in the early 1990s.

Anyway, God is a bit annoyed at this teens "first world" complaints, and decides to teach him a lesson. He puts our hero in an alternate reality, where, brace yourself, he...never...became...a...Christian.

His lack of faith in the Gospel caused his parents to divorce, his best friend (probably a closet case) to commit suicide, his favorite teacher to lose his teaching career, and, yes, his kid sister was never born (so, God aborted her?)

Without Christianity, our young hero finds out that he bought a car (with gambling proceeds),and is more popular with his peers, including several of the pretty girls.

The cool, teen party (actually quite tame for the early 1990s) ain't all its cracked up to be. Our hero faces a pregnancy scare (the girl was just pretending, because, um, that's what infidels do?!)

Naturally, our hero realises the error of his ways, and wakes up to find himself back in his normal, Christian fundamentalist, reality. All's well that ends well.

The film's production values show their limits often, and the film is probably most know for its goofy, catch phrases, acting talent and a script that easily lends itself to parody.

The film is basically a low budget, retelling of the "It's A Wonderful Life" premise, but made for Christian fundamentalists and their children (or grandchildren). If you like that sort of thing, then maybe you should check the film out.
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N.Y.P.D. (1967–1969)
8/10
The original N.Y.P.D
20 October 2015
N.Y.P.D is not a well known television series, and it is often confused with the NYPD Blue series from the 1990s. This is unfortunate, because this original series represents some of the best writing from 1960s television.

American network television was still pretty timid in the 1960s, often refusing to deal with the more unsavory realities of the nation; urban decay, corruption, poverty, racism, sexism and homophobia.

N.Y.P.D featured a racially integrated cast - as criminals and cops - and is probably one of the first network T.V. shows in America to look at gay Americans as a civil rights issue, through two episodes.

Many - if not most - of the episodes were based on actual criminal cases, and the overall result is an incredibly well done crime drama that was way ahead of its time.

Yes, you can certainly tell that this television series is a product of the 1960s. The series only lasted two seasons, which may help explain why it fell into relative obscurity.
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Skullduggery (1983)
2/10
Remember kids: If you play D&D games, Satan will turn you into a serial killer.
30 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Skullduggery (or its many alternative titles) seeks to cash in on the early 1980s backlash.

A group of college students get together to play a D&D board game led by an older gentleman (who turns out to be the devil).

One of these players - Adam - comes from a long line of cursed men (starting with a king who betrayed the devil).

While Adam is helping out at a community college talent show, he remembers his ancestral curse and starts killing people.

Adam seems to think that some of his victims are villains fron the D&D game, but other times its seems that Adam is under a demonic spell, or mentally ill or something else.

Sometimes Adam seems to have command of several different magical powers, while other times he seems like a helpess puppet.

He frequency changes into different costumes, can tranform theatre props into real weapons and women seem to instantly want to have sex (sometimes very kinky sex) with him.

The devil - pretending to be two different men (a older D&D gamer and a rich man named, Dr. Evil) - seems confused about what he wants Adam to do.

He wants Adam to kill people, he wants Adam to join some sort of Satantic cult, and he also wants Adam to kill most of cult members...for...some reason....

The film lets us watch a large chunk of the talent show (a weird show... lacking in talent) and the party hosted by Dr. Evil (an even weirder event that seems to suggest the devil likes to hang with geeks, nerds, stoners, and wanna-be young intellectuals.

I suspect that the director and writer thought that they were making a clever, avent garde film with a topical, supernatural twist.

Mostly, the film is hard to follow, with lots of weird characters and scenes that don't really seem to make sense.

When the film pauses to make a point, its either too University pretentious to be taken seriously, or the film tries to make a joke that ain't really funny.

One of the D&D players makes so many lame sexual innuendo jokes, he comes off as more shallow then a certain character from the Family Guy series.

The local hospital has a doctor who has sex with nurses, while dressed in a Gorilla costume. Why?

A nurse leaves work to press Adams pants. She then tries to seduce him by pretending to be his mother. Why?

The film pauses backstage during the talent show to show us two effemiate gay characters who exist as a "arent them gay people funny" joke.

Later on, at the party, two gay characters act as door bouncers who (for some reason) try to rape a woman in a threeway. Adam kills all three with a harpon gun.

Granted, Adam becomes an effective killer (it helps when the police are mostly inept, and people leave dangerous weapons lying around or hanging up on walls).

What else is good in the film?

The music is actually pretty good (albeit often out of place).

Skullduggery will probably be enjoyed by people who want to "riff" it.

The Spoony Experiment has done so, and more efforts will follow.
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1/10
All popular music is bad, and turns youth into devil-worshiping, sex-crazed, gay maniacs
14 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Throughout the 1980s - 1990s, numerous "After School Specials" and Television Movies attempted to "connect" with young people in order to warn them to stay clear of dangerous and unhealthy activities.

Production values generally ranged from low-budget to average, and many of these programs were (if nothing else) a well-meaning attempt to deal with a serious social problem affecting young people (i.e. bullying, peer pressure, drug addiction or AIDS) However, a fair number of these Television Specials -- often released directly on VHS -- featured some absurd attacks on whatever was considered "hip" popular culture, i.e. rock music, Dungeons & Dragons, Hollywood movies, Saturday Morning Cartoons, Action Figures, and video games.

Rock: It's Your Decision falls into this category, meaning that it will probably be watched mainly for comedic satire or riffing. However, as this is a review of the film, I can no longer delay diving right into it.

The film is set in the early 1980s -- in a "typical" (read: mostly white and middle class) American suburban community. It is in this glorious (insert sarcastic joke here) Reagan Era that we meet a trouble youth named, "Jeff".

Jeff -- clearly played by an actor in his 20s or 30s -- listens to popular music, which greatly worries his parents who seem to believe that all rock n' roll is promoting free love, premarital sex, drugs and disrespect to authority figures.

The parents have their son meet up with the local youth pastor, who persuades the teen to give up popular music for awhile, which means that Jeff cannot attend a concert with his girlfriend or go to a party where other kids from his church are playing amazingly generic (and bland) instrumental music.

Throughout the (thankfully) short film Jeff tries to convinced his friends (and strangers he meets at a Record Store) that all rock music is evil, the rock musicians are are evil, and youth that listen to this modern music will become devil-worshiping, sex-crazed, gay maniacs who are also involved in the occult.

The film ends with Jeff -- having not had much luck selling his ideas to his friends or strangers -- giving a speech to the church youth group about the evils of rock n' roll.

Yes, it can be argued that certain rock n' roll songs are entirely inappropriate for children (Christian or otherwise), and yes, teenagers should respect their elders.

However, Jeff only yells at his mother when she tells him to turn the music down, or when he sees her watching Soap Operas.

This last point is one of the (many) odd things in the film.

The film seems to acknowledge that the argument it is making could easily be applied to T.V. Soap Operas (quite popular with conservative Christian housewives in the 1980s). This is actually a valid point.

If you take the position that all rock n' roll is immoral, and should be avoided, it does seem a bit hypocritical to give soap operas a free pass. But, I am not going to lose any sleep over this little bit of moral hypocrisy.

This film is probably most famous for final speech that Jeff gives, because it perfectly captures not only the absurdity of the argument being made in the film, but (on top of everything else) the film manages to digs up a bit of homophobia in order to advance its absurd argument.

Jeff reminds his peers that not only are rock n' roll stars heavily involved in devil worship and the occult (don't bother waiting for any facts or evidence on that point), but that many of them are also "avowed homosexuals".

Granted, socially conservative, evangelical Christians are the target audience for this film, and, in 1982, homophobia (even hate crimes) was being actively promoted by powerful groups such as the "Moral Majority".

However, by the end of the film you do not see much of a future for Jeff outside of suicide or an extended stay at an mental institution.

Any potentially valid argument that the film could have made is tossed aside in favor of outrageous accusations, moral hypocrisy and some homophobia tossed in for good measure.
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Cruising (1980)
6/10
sex, death and disco
23 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
'Cruising' is not an especially good film. Not as a gruseome, gritty crime thriller. Not as an adaption of a crime novel. Not as one of the first mainstream Hollywood films to depict, often quite explicitly, the"after hours" life-style of some gay men.

The film depicts – intentionally or not – gay and bisexual men in a manner starkling similar to Hollywod vampires; i.e. nocternal, decadent, amoral and predatory.

Granted, it could be argued that the film's decadent aspects – namley the S&M leather bars and depicting the men who visit these bars as willingess to engage in casual, even public, sex acts may be accurate.

In the sexual liberation ethos of the 1970s (filming largely took place in the summer of 1979), before the AIDS pandemic, it is certainly possible that this is how some (mostly white, middle class) gay and bisexual men liked to "get down" and party after work.

The problem is that 'some' becomes 'all' as far as this film is concerned. The film makers had many creative and simple ways to better depict the gay community without being a bland, public service announcement.

The undercover cop has a gay neighbor who is a nice character (played by a terrific actor) but is not really given much to do, except be brutally murdered.

Franky, even the film's stars are not really given much to do, largely because the film removed much of character development, motivation and story arches found within the novel.

As a crime drama, we have a depiction of the New York City police department that is, frankly, down right scary.

I am surprised that members of law enforcement are not as outraged as the gay community is on how this film depicts them. 'Criminal Minds' or 'NCIS, it ain't.

The 'investigation' into a serial killer basically boils down to one straight man posing as a regular bar at kinky gay bars in the hopes that the killer will try and pick him up.

Basically, this means paying a straight man to dance in sweaty/smoky bars and then being awfully surprised that this is not an effective way to track down a serial killer.

Apparently, all that late night dancing (to some funky disco and punk music) gives the undercover agent a sexual identity crisis, which, in turn, transforms him into a gay murderer.

After the gay serial killer is caught, the gay neighbor is killed, apparently, by the undercover cop.

Yup, our film's hero becomes a gay serial killer after catching a gay serial killer because....um...er....I have no idea. He hung out with gay and bisexual men? His girlfriend dumped him? He listened to punk rock music? The homophobia, sexism and good-old-fashion bad writing in this film makes for a rather tragic triad.

"Tragic" because the film has got a great cast and crew involved with it. The novel itself could be adapted into a great film. I even enjoyed the retro, 1970s music.

Film audiences -- gay or straight -- deserve better. Fans of gritty, crime thrillers deserve better. Heck, fans of vampires or the S&M scene deserve better.
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6/10
a decent horror film, with a fair number of plot problems
13 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
As Above, So Below (2014) is a decent horror film, in the "documentary" (hand held camera) film style pioneered by the Blair Witch Project (1999). It is also a film with a fair number of plot problems. But first the "good news".

The basic premise of the film is actually quite cool -- for a slasher/horror film.

"Scarlett" is a gifted archaeologist/alchemy scholar, who has been continuing her late father's quest for the fabled Flamel stone. Legend speaks of this stone, crafted by Nicholas Flamel, as having the ability to create gold and grant eternal life.

Her search -- which is not always strictly legal -- earns the attention of a documentary film crew, led by "Benji". Thus the "hand held" camera style used throughout the film is intended to be part of the documentary's film project.

Alas, the stone and the final resting place of Flamel remain a mystery, or do they? Scarlett persuades her ex-boyfriend -- "George" -- who is good with reading dead languages to help her dig deeper.

All clues point to the vast (and quite creepy) Catacombs that lie beneath Paris. Since neither Scarlett or George has experience with exploring the ancient caves, they enlist the help of a group of local youth; "Papillon", his girlfriend "Souxie", and friend "Zed".

Eventually, treasure hunting in the French Catacombs takes the team into hell (talk about the "other side of the tracks").

It is in this last part of the film, that things tend to get silly, if not also needlessly confusing.

Apparently, team members are being killed off by the ghost or the person that they "done wrong", although this is not handled well and sometimes it would seem that supernatural punishment is being merited out because people have survivors guilt.

Scarlett figures out that the best way to escape hell is simply go back the way you came. Really?

The entrance of hell should read, "Abandon all hope, unless you are reasonably intelligent and willing to apologize." Not only is it easy to escape hell, but fighting off Satan or cultist or supernatural killers (again, I am not entirely sure what is behind the killings) requires a simply apology.

Also, given how long it took to make the journey into hell, it is impressive that Scarlett manages to VERY QUICKLY return to Flamel's treasure tomb and return the stone.

In doing so, she gains magical healing powers ("but, can she turn stuff into gold", some might ask).

She also easily knocks down the Satanic stature -- which attacked George -- causing me (and some other people in the audience) to laugh out loud.

After being healed, George and Zed (who is apparently a saint, or simply never feels bad about anything that he does) easily escape from the Catacombs. The credit roll.

The film, As Above, So Below shines brightest when the characters are "above" (read: not in hell). When the treasure hunting adventure into the dark Catacombs turns into some sort of descent into hell, things tend to get confusing, if not downright silly.
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Finding Normal (2013 TV Movie)
5/10
OK TV-Movie with a not-top-subtle religious/political agenda
17 June 2014
"Finding Normal" is not -- by any means -- a horrible film. Nor it is a particularly good film. It has decent enough production values for a TV-Movie, but the conservative religious and political views expressed in the film may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Basically, the film follows a "big city" doctor who learns to love "small town" living. To be fair, the broad-based "city vs. country" stereotypes used in the film are nothing new. In fact the basic storyline is similar to Doc Hollywood (1991).

People who live in the "big city" are generally depicted as being cynical, snobbish, no-good folk who do not regularly attend church and (gasp) may even support the ACLU.

Rural people, in contrast, are generally depicted as being friendly, quaint, authentic, hardworking, decent folk who regularly go to church and believe that the greatest threat to America is the ACLU.

Yes, this TV-Movie did not invent these cultural, geographic and political stereotypes, but they certainly do not help the audience care about the characters.

Anyways, so the "big city" doctor needs to do a bit of community service in a Southern small town. To the film's credit, the town is not racially segregated....Although the film does seem to borrow a bit from Andy Griffith Show.

"Doc Shelby" -- one of the main actors in the film is arguable the best character -- in terms of development, acting and writing. You really do believe that his character plays a leadership role in the community and, faced with his own mortality, wants to make sure that the town will not be without a doctor.

Most of the other characters rarely move outside of the "big city" and "country bumpkin" stereotypes.

This is probably why one of the funniest lines in the film is when it gives characters lines, which are critical of judgmental people and stereotypes. It occurs early on in the film, when the "big city" doctor sits down for dinner and, yeah the irony is just hilarious.

In terms of its religious and political viewpoints, the film waits awhile to hit the audience over the head with them.

In fact, Netflix did include film in their "faith and spirituality" genre, which may have caused the film to be seen by audience members who are not fond of conservative politics or the religious right.

Yet, the message in the film gradually becomes clear; the "big city" doctor needs to be "saved" from the evils of big city life. How will this occur? If you did not know that this film was designed for a (conservative) Christian audience, then the right-wing hole that the film digs itself into may be hard to stomach.

Everyone in the town assumes that the "big city" doctor is nominally Christian and have nothing with expecting her to attend church as part of her community service.

The main "hot button" story line element has the small town fighting against the evil ACLU, in order to keep a Christian cross on public land.

The complex issue of religious freedom and church-state separation is basically reduced to an accusation that anyone who does not agree with the cross being on public land -- by itself -- is unAmerican tyrannt.

Granted, if you are a conservative Christian who shares the belief that religious freedom should only apply to your church, then the film's weak efforts at a "court room" drama may appeal to you.

Probably the biggest problem with the film is that nothing really major happens -- in three short days -- to explain the huge -- almost absurd -- shift in the "big city" doctor's personality and values.

Beyond the legal dispute, the big city doctor saves the life of a young girl and plays phone tag with her big city finance.

The problem is that we already know that the big city doctor is quite good at being a doctor. While she does, rather quickly, fall in love with a local boy, that is not really enough to explain the radical shift in her personality and values.

In the end she ditches her big city finance -- who may or may not be a stereotypical, big city, ethnically-ambiguous, non-Christian character (read Jewish).

No doubt the finance is more concerned with his career then the woman he loves, but so to is the woman herself.

The problem is that the woman goes from an Independent career gal, to the type of women who believe that women should be less focused on their career and more focused on being a good and obedient wife.

It is a pretty significant change, which is never really explained or justify in the film.

he only thing standing between Dr. Lisa Leland (Candice Cameron Bure) and the wedding of her dreams in the Hamptons is a 2600-mile drive from Los Angeles to Long Island.
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