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Zombieland (2009)
Enjoyable
A creative and fairly original horror-comedy. It's biggest selling point for me personally is its likable, 3-dimesnsional characters. It avoids the pitfalls of horror-comedies such as having dull characters and cheap laughs. Most teen horror-comedies comprise of an: "Aaah I'm being chased. Oops I fell over" kind of comedy, brought to life by pretty little young people who you really couldn't give a toss about. This is different.
Jesse Eisenberg is fantastic as the shy and awkward guy who is forced to man up, wake up and smell the decaying flesh. Woody is sublime as the tough man with a sad past and a Twinkie obsession (which they somehow didn't make annoying). The 2 other girls are well-acted and there is definitely good chemistry between Jesse and Emma Stone. I don't quite know how the girls ended up in the supermarket (without killing the zombies) or why they didn't abandon Jesse and Woody (the 2nd time) but apart from that the plot is solid.
There are a lot of laughs, and proper laughs; sarcastic comments and comical scenarios. There is enough action to satisfy the bloodthirsty, but not too much which suits those of a weaker stomach. A genuinely enjoyable horror-comedy.
Along Came a Spider (2001)
Fine
An OK thriller, but nothing terribly original. As a mainstream detective film, it does quite well. It is well-acted by everybody, especially Michael Wincott. Though perhaps that is because he has one of the few characters with a bit of diversity (as well as Monica Potter perhaps). Morgan Freeman puts in a great performance as always, but his performance didn't comprise of as much as it should have. The character of Cross was fairly 2-dimensional.
The plot is decent, only perhaps a tad ridiculous in places, with the killer laying out very, very obscure clues which he somehow assumed would be solved. The ending has a few nice twists and turns, but does leave a couple of unanswered questions.
The main problems are that it isn't very original or creative and it is quite dull, for a thriller. Well, maybe not dull, but it just lacks any suspense or tension, probably because the villain is more likable than Cross. Certainly more interesting. A lot of the scenes involving Cross and the villain are almost lighthearted. I wouldn't go as far as to call it boring, because it's not. It just isn't very tense either.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
Stunning
I have to say that when I saw the poster for the film (Caesar on a horse with a machine gun) I thought that this was going to be a full-on action movie. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't.
Don't get me wrong, it has its fair share of action, but most of this only really kicks off in and around the middle to the end (much like the first film). Before that, however, comes a thought-provoking yet tension building introduction.
It begins with a dramatic scene showing the virus spread across all of the Earth, and the slow escalation to panic (mostly words, very little action and no gore). A nice way to start, picking up where the last movie left off (except changing the colour of the virus- I believe it was yellow at the end of the last movie. Just saying).
What follows are some tense and well-constructed scenes portraying the relations between the thriving apes and the desperate humans, and also the similarities between the 2. The humans are trying to get to a hydroelectric dam to power their safehouse to enable them to send a radio signal out to other parts of the Earth to meet up with other survivors. The problem is that it is on the apes' land. There is some yo-yoing between relations and some cooperation between the species, displaying their similarities. The waves of tension are genius. I will not go that far into them as I don't want to spoil it, but to summarise: relations deteriorate and you think war is coming, things improve and you realise it isn't, again and again. Brilliant stuff.
Alas, war commences (which isn't a spoiler because it was clear already from the poster and the over-informative trailers). It does not, however, begin in the way you'd expect (oooh mystery). Of course the action sequences are watered down as it is a 12-rated film, but that does not stop them from being exhilarating. Ironically the action demonstrated another similarity between the 2 races- greed. Both spent part of the movie arguing over whether or not to kill the other race, and they ultimately end up attempting to do so (but again, not for the reason you would think ).This action continues until near the end, where the film closes with a not-really-extremely-happy-yet-at-the-same-time-not-really- sad ending.
The characters are pretty good. There is just the right amount of background story in the main characters- enough to fill us in but at the same time not too much as it's not that important to find out an extensive background- where they grew up etc is not all that important.
The acting is superb. Malcolm, the James Franco-like main character, fearful over starting a war and reverent towards the apes, is acted superbly. The supporting cast play their parts well also. I'm a huge Gary Oldman fan (who isn't), and I have to say he played his part very well- the war-hardened, grief-stricken leader of the survivors.
The visuals are stunning. The apes are detailed, the apes' surroundings are beautiful and the humans' wreckage, well, it is a very nice wreckage. The action sequences are shot very well also.
Faults? Maybe. I'm not sure why the apes didn't need to reload their guns (and I didn't see any extra ammo). Very little else apart from that. A fantastic movie, more proof that sequels (and remakes) can be every bit as good (if not better) as originals. Good stuff.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Enjoyable
Definitely a great film.
It begins not necessarily slowly, but calmly, with a slight bit of tension surrounding the future of James' father. It handles topics such as Alzheimer's with respect and compassion, along with a stunning acting performance, the best one in the movie I would say. Due to the discovery of a cure for Alzheimer's and the way in which an ape become a genius I wouldn't go as far as to say that it was a normal introduction. Being a sci-fi film, it was always going to stray from normality. It was a fictitious yet at the same time believable introduction enclosed in relatively calm surroundings. That's the best way I could put it.
In my opinion they rushed the introduction, with the years passing by a little too quickly for my liking. Caesar was gone too quickly, rushed off into the second stage of the film. The stage where man showcases his cruelty.
It is very well done. The juxtaposition of Caesar's 'luxurious' upbringing with the harsh reality of enclosures. Tom Felton was brilliant as Draco. Oh wait no... different movie, same sneering, vicious character. It may get difficult for him to shake that reputation off. Anyway, it was well- done, providing just the right amount of sympathy for Caesar and just the right amount of hatred against man. My favourite scene has to be where Caesar first speaks. The yell itself was, well, very nice, and the stunned silence that followed was absolutely fantastic. It replicated my emotions at that point. I know a lot of people believe that, despite it being a sci-fi film, that scene is preposterous (as Caesar doesn't have a voice box). I understand where they are coming from, but only because I read their reviews. I didn't think of it at the time. I'm sure it may be possible though, in some obscure way. Anyway, Malfoy gets killed after his little zapper meets a big hose (questionable) and all the apes escape (or should I say escAPE!. Sorry)
A quick stop to the zoo to pick up some reinforcements who somehow are clever enough to follow orders despite not being given the magic drug, and then the apes are on their way, showcasing San Francisco in the best way possible (i.e. by going to the Golden Gate Bridge). Then, following some timely heavy fog, the action begins. The apes disperse through the timely heavy fog and get shot at by the police as James Franco positions himself in the middle of it all, protecting himself admirably with a Ford Fiesta (or whatever it was).
The battle ends, the monkeys flee and Caesar and James share a heartfelt goodbye before going their separate ways. That brings an end to the film, which was mostly well-written and well-acted and certainly very enjoyable. Now it's time for us all to die from a rapidly-spreading virus. Hooray!
Striking Distance (1993)
At the end of the day it's entertaining
I'm not going to say it's original, because it isn't. I'm not going to say it's unpredictable, because it isn't. I am going to say that it was enjoyable.
Sure the whole maverick, womanising cop with a bit of an alcohol problem thing is fairly worn out, but still, it works.
Truth be told I actually guessed who the killer was before the end- it was a little obvious. The only real shock was when it was revealed that Sarah Jessica Parker was actually working undercover to 'spy on' Bruce Willis (there was certainly a lot to spy on in some scenes, if you know what I'm saying).
I did say that it wasn't very original. It is in fact stereotypical Bruce Willis. At the same time, however, there is a certain timelessness to stereotypical Bruce Willis films. The one-liners never get annoying, the action is never not exciting, the swearing is never nonexistent and the nudity is always manageable but yet somewhat awkward for a teenager such as myself. It was well-acted, well-shot and a perfectly enjoyable action film.
Noah (2014)
Ummm...
I guess it was always going to be difficult for those behind the movie to create a film that both stayed relatively true to the Bible's (admittedly brief) description of the life of Noah and that appealed in some way to a wide and not always theist audience. They sort of failed, however.
One of the problems I suppose to much of the audience was that we already sort of new what would happen, and thus tension was practically nonexistent (although in saying that there have been some outstanding biographical films, so that's not really an excuse). The production team knew the story too, and this may be why they left the occasional hole in what was already a thin, stretched plot (for example, Noah has a couple of vague visions and immediately knows exactly what to do). There have been a few complaints about the giant Hulk-like rock angel things, and whilst they didn't necessarily need to be there, they at least fitted into the story (with a bit of a squeeze). They weren't the worst of the films problems anyway.
Aesthetically the film was well shot, 80 percent of the time. Sequences of vast mountain ranges and lush green forests, silhouettes of the main characters superimposed on a beautiful sunset... all lovely. But the CGI animals? Good Lord they were abysmal! (Unintended Biblical reference by the way). The animals' heads moved side to side at the same time as if they were robots, and the scene itself only lasted a few seconds. I believe we spent more time watching Emma Watson and her friend stripping down for some... you know what (no nudity shown by the way). They were 'doing it' only about 10 feet away from Noah's grandfather which is as creepy as the old man himself. Living in a cave and spending the entire film searching the ground for a berry. What is that about?
I hate to disappoint those of you expecting Noah to be a kind, nature loving man. Wait... oh no sorry that's exactly what he was for the first half hour, until he started killing people. (SPOILER COMING UP) And at the end(ish) of the film, when he went to kill the daughters of Emma (yeah that was an actual scene) he stopped because: "All I could see was love." CRINGE ALERT. To be honest, I would have preferred it if he had of actually killed them it was that cringe-worthy. Or better still if he had of jumped out of the T.V. and turned the film off it was that bad.
It wasn't badly acted and the script was reasonable for the normal parts of the film (few and far between). The problems for me were; that it spent too much time on some sections and not enough on others (e.g. the animals), about half the film was spent with the camera rocking like a boat which just made me feel seasick and that it was just ludicrous. Fairly poor to be honest.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
A Disappointing Mismatch Of Infantile and Original
It is clear from the outset that this movie is designed for a younger audience. It's excessive use of slapstick violence and an unrealistic plot is a stark contrast to the traditional, more subtle and often sarcastic humour of the original series (in the good old days).
At the same time, however, innuendos creep that are perhaps not 'adult' but certainly for maturer audiences. Jokes about 'playing with yourself' and implied sex scenes (see parents' guide). Whilst these do represent the television series better, and whilst they aren't immediately obvious and would sail over the heads of a younger audience, it has to be said that it does leave me asking questions about who the intended target audience is. It seems to me that the team have just tried too hard to make the movie suit everyone.
The movie itself is mildly funny, but quite frankly that isn't good enough for a COMEDY. I mentioned the plot earlier which, to recap, is too ridiculous, and I was also quite disappointed that many of the series' regulars barely featured (e.g. Apu, who I only remember having 1 or 2 lines).
I guess the movie was OK. It certainly did the show justice for younger viewers, and thus gained a brand new audience for the show. It did however leave many teenagers like myself feeling rather disappointed. It wasn't AWFUL though.
A Christmas Carol (2009)
Never a PG
I first saw this movie when I was around 10, enclosed in an almost pitch- black cinema with the surround sound booming and echoing all around me (I believe I sat right beside a speaker, which didn't really help). Looking back on it now it is still a little creepy, but at the time it really scared me. Whether or not it is true to the book I cannot really say, but I am fairly certain that it is a tad more accurate than the Muppets' version. In saying this however, I must point out that the Muppets' version is a family movie. THIS IS NOT A FAMILY MOVIE.
Going back to a previous statement, I am not sure how close this is to the book. If it was an exact replica of the book then there are certain aspects of the book that are just stupid, for this movie contains some really stupid scenes. Not wanting to spoil the movie for you I will not mention them, but I am sure that if you watch it you will pick them up for yourself.
A word of advice for parents. If you are watching it, I would not recommend having children below 12 to accompany you. The sleepless nights aren't worth it, trust me.
Up (2009)
A Surprisingly Emotional Roller-coaster
The thing about 'movies for kids' is that they are quite often not believable due to the impression they formulate that everything is a happy story with a happy ending. Their lack of 'sad scenes' make them somewhat forgettable, but I have to say that Up is an exception. Of course the ending is happy because the ending has to be happy, but to put it bluntly, Up is the first Disney or Pixar movie that made me cry. Its 3-dimensional characters are some of the best characters I've seen, its plot is adventurous yet at the same time believable and its soundtrack is pretty darn good too. The added little extras, such as Doug's genius catchphrases (e.g. 'Point!' and 'I just met you, and I love you') add that little bit extra to it as well. A brilliant idea for a story, executed almost to perfection. A very enjoyable watch