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Reviews
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006)
lazy wanna be INDIE
its just a dead end actor's piece with horrible direction, sorta a stab at indie film only with lucid (and run if the mill) typical Hollywood story frame.
the movie tricks you into thinking its real to life, but the truth is that life at least has explanations for events. further more how can you care about characters, whom appear only as the are with no explanations for how and who they are (only showing a father beat a kid in the street is lazy) its called basic story telling for a reason.
everyone just wanted to be involved in a "gritty real life drama" including the director himself. actors were drawn to it to try and get chops for dramatic exposure, like when Shia punched a wall in an audition.... gritty hardcore, just like black flag.
yes it showed disillusionment in youth but doesn't every hip hop/urban dance/rap movie show that, along with poor race relations. I mean at least ROLL BOUNCE had a real arc for the lead, without alienating the other characters, while building to an actual conclusion.
bottom line is this: reality is that all the characters were dragging the lead down, even the girlfriend or the Scott, they "get by" unhappily in how they all live. they only want support because they have no means to advance, anything but being ignorant leads them to confusion, just like any one trying to place a real story in this never ending plot hole of schlock. so just like anyone who'd watch this again, you like the lead would need to have a lot of balls (or no brains) to want to return to a life in Purgatory.
...and please make sure the editor never works again.
He Was a Quiet Man (2007)
too many flaws, a not funny OFFICE SPACE.
this MOVIE seemed to go in the right direction. it was interesting to see Slater in this kind of role, he really tried to get into it with his limited skills (since he is only a faded personality) but he just like the rest of the piece fell short.
yes there was moments of darkness, where you felt sad, but most of the time you feel nothing but pity for everyone and every part of this mess.
there are very out of place CGI effects, that are plastered all over the place, the only one worth mentioning (i.e. one that worked and did not look bad) was his only friend the gold fish. which was prob. the best role in the piece.
the movie suffers from bad editing and a total lack of direction, in not only the story but the random choice of effects. also the humor while not a bad thing was out of place. honestly the whole thing was a mess, it felt like i was watching a bad rip-off of THE ASSINATION OF RICHARD NIXION, a film that puts you into a box, that you like the protagonist want to get out of.
you ask yourself at the end of this movie... was it dream? why did he make all these stupid choices? was this made for TV? does this get any worse? why did W.H Macy do this movie? why does Cuthburt for once look ugly when the role is supposed to be the head turner? why is every office worker literally a cardboard cut out? why i'm I not entertained and not believe one thing i'm watching? etc. etc. etc. plot holes, bad acting, loose premise! honestly the only thing that could have saved this movie would have been to just simply do one thing, make the whole feature black and white. that one addition would have added a needed darkness as well as contrast that the movie needed on many levels. you would see the world as he does... and the horrible rendered, cheap, ineffective, out of place CGI, would have its flaws hidden, blending into his own stark world.
but its just a hack in the end, a not funny OFFICE SPACE.
Iron Man (2008)
$$$ Only Zombies Love Iron Man***
"That's the coolest thing I've ever seen" -Terrence Howard "as" Jim Rhodes ----------------------- Thank you America for ruining artistic development with your paychecks towards our intellectual retardation that we spread THREW OUT THE WORLD.
Commercials sell, this one was entertaining, but yet, acting, actors, story and direction all ham and geared toward no sided politics, is a cheap stab at greater good story arcs. This movie is what sells and what is good about our country, $10 at the theater and a costumed hero on a McDonald's super size cup. just like your imagination for buying into this is the equivalent of fast food. The yellow pictures being the established character and actors. Like having Robert Downey Jr. who's life would at least like to be a polar opposite in standards. I like him but please we cannot forget. So I find that amusing, along with the peppered script of good goody, gee gollies dialog. every one in the movie is a parody of the character, even Jeff Bridges whom I'm sure only did this one to play a bad guy. half way threw the plot.
Remember Fire engine red is the go sign for profit, when it only turns your minds on fire.
So now...
"damn... Next time baby!" - Terrence Howard "as" Jim Rhodes Iron man II: Mental Oblivion - 2010
Once (2007)
"ONCE" was enough!
I was dragged to see this by my x, I told her it looked stupid, and I made her pay. I honestly tried to give the movie a chance, but even she said it sucked.
I love indie film, only I love film that actually flows with realistic intentions for protagonists.
The music was the only sell point for the film, which we both hated.
It was just too much Indie everything. It made me roll my eyes and want to kill myself, It was like a never never land for homely losers. Not some expression on bohemian gusto.
I think everyone who likes this movie needs to seriously check into a clinic and see if they have a pulse, and not a stick up there butt hole, as every critic seemed to have for this crap.
ONCE WAS ENOUGH.
Ice from the Sun (1999)
A waste in so many ways
I'm not here to say this is a bad movie. Just to say that this whole film really is a waste. Bare with me here....
I just downloaded a version of this film. After hearing about it for a long time and not being able to find it. From what I herd it was a "trippy gore fantasy containing religious aspects" it still seems very interesting. And as I herd more and more about the film and its story I was even more in a hurry to see it.
The opening was very dull and would mark the quality of the rest of the movie. What do I mean? The fact that it was shot in super 8, the black and white was as expected very nice to look at. The parts of the movie that were shot in color were horrible and I don't mean just top look at but the acting, the sound, everything. It was as it was made, by some guy in a basement. You could hear all the background noise, scratches and at some points I think I herd talking and people dropping things. But I could be wrong.
The actors were for lack of a better word bad. As I watched them force out there lines against the horrible shaking camera (another really horrible flaw) the lead woman played by Ramona Midgett was the worst part. She acted as good as she looked. which is not insult to her as much as a criticism of the work she did, if she would have done the same work in a better production it would not be as bad, as the quality of her scene were 90% of the color segments. As with the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right" The only good acting was that of Charles Heuvelman the Twisted Priest in the Movie Theater and Alexander Crestwood the Drug Runner. As you could tell they had experience in there craft or at least an understanding. Angela Zimmerly ('Dana' in the film) was the best of the central cast as she able to show a calmness and emotion that made her character. as the others more or less seemed to be just friends of the filmmakers inserted into rolls.
The acting, filming, sound and choice to use color is the worst elements of the film. Which I must say is around 50% of the movie. The other half is very well done and to me on par with a lot of indie cinema. As the black and white looked nice, and or consisted of very nicely crafted editing.
Further more the editing was great, as were most of the special effects. This is the only good thing about the movie. The people involved should be proud of that. As it was the only place there was talent. Theses areas are the only reason in my mind to watch the film.
I feel the film should have been filmed in black and white and possibly dubbed in studio. or just have been put togehter from all the special effects and edits, etc. as it would have made a very nice to watch art film. A perfect example was the 4.5-minute-long opening credit sequence. As I could not take my eyes of the screen. At the moment I felt was watching a good music video, but even that had its flaws because it seemed abet out of place in the movie.
The finished product is not a very good film, it has its good moments but the all around quality of half the film is just bad. This puzzles me because the other half was very nice to watch. There's is too much give and take in the film. It's like a visual Ying-Yang, you are either mesmerized buy the sheer beauty or horrified but the over all quality of the aspects involved. It's the flawed parts that anchor the film into being a bad piece of work. This saddens me because I really gave the film a chance, and it has some really good moments and parts to the story. Eric Stanze the director/writer/ etc has talent this film does prove that but it's also now my prime example of how a flawed film, can be overall bad as a whole.
Bottom line.
Should have stayed a home movie.
(At least in the form it's presented)