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Exterminator City (2005 Video)
3/10
When robots kill melon-breasted women!
24 August 2005
Never before have I seen assembled into one movie so many humongously breasted women. Remarkable! I gather the movie's more about the breasts than anything else, which is fine. It was a little confusing figuring out who was who in the beginning because the robots all looked pretty similar (cheesy robot masks with moving jaws almost carelessly placed atop suits and ties that are hanging on coat hangers). Also, the editing was pretty choppy and the blood and gore were filmed at a separate time from the murder scene and were on a completely limited budget, so it kinda' looked like a buxom woman looking towards the camera and screaming (about 50 times), then a quick cut to some scene in a butcher shop. This disconnect made the movie seem not very gory, even though I guess if you bought what they were selling, it was pretty gory.

Props for the writer/director for actually adhering to a plot throughout. Some of the dialog and accents were a little contrived, hokey and derivative, but were also vaguely amusing at times.

If you're a man who likes big breasts and are gonna have a couple like-minded buddies over for some beers, this could be a good one to watch.
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Space Daze (2005 Video)
1/10
Incomprehensibly Awful!
22 August 2005
I'm a huge lover of really bad B movies. And I especially love alien/scifi movies. I say the cheaper, cheesier, and campier the better. A low budget and a hokey idea are fun enough for most bad B movies, but this movie is so bad that I really felt embarrassed for the people who made the movie and for the schlocky ad-lib actors. First off, there's no real plot, it's all sort of situation "comedy" (if it can be called that). The "comedy" in this movie is more about characters saying, in essence, "look at me, I'm in this crazy situation! Isn't this funny?", but it's only pathetic because nothing anyone's doing is that funny. There's no comedic acting skill, nor any kooky plot to carry all the very un-imaginative scenarios through this dreary turd.

The bad comedy and lack of anything remotely comical is only worsened by the bad ad-lib acting, actors saying really stupid things over and over again (perhaps trying to ape for catch phrases, perhaps just b/c everyone in this is so bad), really unattractive women being played off as hot chicks, and people barfing and passing out in bathrooms.

There was one middle aged actor toward the end of the movie who I could tell had some acting chops and was kinda' convincing in his role. He was as out of place as a solid BM in a weekend detox unit's bathroom. Corey Feldman was filmed for about 3 minutes in total (thankfully we didn't have to put up with him any longer), and he was filmed off site -- probably outside his apartment on the way out somewhere. He said a few really un-funny things about aliens and having sex with aliens and that was the extent of his appearance.

If you value your life and the 90 minutes (and years of pain in remembering) you'll lose by watching this garbage, avoid it. If you do a lot of drugs, like Adam Sandler's comedy stylings (and thus have no standards whatsoever), and are considered mentally slow you might like this movie.

P.S. I think the people who raved about this must work for Troma or something, b/c I can't believe people can be so lame as to actually enjoy this movie. (Do drugs really ruin your judgment that much?)
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