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theshiptons
Reviews
Junior Bake Off (2011)
the Show gets a 9, Harry Hill gets a zero
We love this show, the kids are such fresh and lively little people. They do things that I would struggle to do in cooking. They show great support for each other's work, and not one is unlikeable. I gave this a 9 simply for one reason, and it's obvious here in the reviews, and if you watch the show. Harry Hill, where did he come from? He is not funny on any level. I don't get half the jokes and the ones I get make me wince. We have children here, and he is cracking off stuff you might drag out at a boozy night at the pub. While these are children here, they are by no means stupid, and now we are halfway through the show's first batch; they have seen through his behavior, and some now just seem to ignore him. Harry, if you read reviews, you are borderline creepy, and I don't know why; apparently, you are married with 3 kids yourself. Stop it. You are really making something quite sweet into a horrible chore to watch.
Peacemaker (2022)
a hero series that doesn't take itself to seriously
The transition from WWE to the small screen has worked well for Cena, he is still a meatball but he has layers and this is pealed away each episode to reveal a little frightened child. His life is mix of car wreck and buffoonery but it works. The rest of the cast are great as well and the plot is enough to get you hooked and watch to see what happens at the end. I think there is steam in the engine for a series or two more but this is a great start and Cena has proven he has some abilities beyond where he cam from.
Turning Red (2022)
entertainment with a strong message
This movie reminded me a lot of Bigmouth and Derry girls. Both are very well written teen focused shows that have a wide audience appeal. This movie is a look at the time is a girls life when she becomes something new. Either a woman or a panda?. Being different is hard, it opens you to a lot of criticism and even in the time this is set I think in the early noughties. The level of social stigma and angst was just as much as today. We really enjoyed the movie, it was different enough to entertain but we went away with something to contemplate. Thankyou.
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
Don't shoot I'm only 8 and 3/4s
In this age of movies with strong female roles this was well constructed as an action movie with well developed characters that you can root for. The plot was ok if not predictable. There is a lot of blood and gore kills so not one for the kiddies. This is weird as there is not a if any swearing in this film. My only issue is that of the interplay between the mother and her adult child is very stilted and slows down the pace of the movie. Come on we don't need a pause to catch our breaths here, get on with the murdering gals.
Ps the blokes will like this film as well.
Minari (2020)
Not my cup of herbal tea
There are some issues with this film that while a good piece of film making and assured to get some gongs at the academy awards there are some serious flaws. I found I wanted so much more from this movie. The first issue was a lack of character development beyond the time and place where the movie was set. The acting was very wooden and there was a distance between the family members with the exception of the boy and the grandma and these two hated each other at the start. This made it hard to be emotionally invested in the family and their struggles. My last issue was at the end. All though the movie I was waiting for some kind of drama or high point and this only came when the grandma burnt down the produce store, why was she burning off rubbish? Why at night? And why alone? Why was she a sick woman left on her own? So much unanswered. Then after this "crisis" the movie ends, in my eyes it is a cheats end, no resolution for the watcher. I understand this will have been an artistic device to make people discuss the film further but its just looked bad and made me dislike the movie. I understand there was an attempt at real life and life is always a slog and seems to lack drama, for most of us. But I'm watching a movie here guys at least give me a bit of an escape or entertain me.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Some people expect too much
There are a lot of really negative reviews here about the movies ability to create a realistic universe for these actors to play in, Ms Pike and Mr Dinklage appeared in Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones respectively, both works of fiction in their own universes, bending reality to suit the story. while this movie is in a very human world who says its ours? who says it answers to the laws of United States of America. it doesn't have to imply this or inform the person watching the movie that "hay! just incase your to stupid to notice, this is a work of fiction in a fictions time and place" Movies get criticized for a lot of stuff these days that really isn't the fault of the movie or any kind of fault in the movie per say. ok i get it people like to at least have their suspension of reality exercised to the extent they expect. They feel cheated or lied to in some way. Saying this i felt the movie, the work of fiction was ok, not gold standard but watchable, it had some twists and turns. i did think the ending while what the watcher would want did cheat the audience a little but hay justice is like that
Ancestral World (2020)
avoid
Not on to stay in and watch one to put on and go out and play ball with the kids
Mandy (2018)
Please help me understand
This is meant to be an art house, grid gore master piece as some reviews would have you believe. I gave this film a fair run and sorry, maybe I am just dumb but I don't get it and it is truly horrible. I would make comparisons to another Nick Cage film that was equally confused and lost and this was Wicker man. I get the motives of the movie with its moodiness and darkness but there was little if any character development to the point that a woman burning to death in a sleeping bag did not make me feel for Nick Cage's character in the slightest. this is bad in a film and makes me the viewer seem like a uncaring prick. thanks Nick. to offer an alternative example of how character can draw the viewer in to the emotional turmoil in the film you need only look and Keanu Reeves in his movie John Wick and the protagonist in that film only killed his dog. this kind of horror movie making seems to becoming a trend and personally I don't like, plays on mood and imagery do not make a good horror movie. the film becomes bogged down and boring. I would not recommend this film in any capacity.
Rampage (2018)
you get whats on the box
Some of the negative reviews here are I think overly ambitious of their expectations of this movie and its abilities. there are some holes in this film like the lack of back ground story which is simply brushed over and leaves the characters in the film including George the gorilla a little flat and cardboard like. but this is an monster action film and that's what we get. plenty of on the edge of your seat action and the good guys win. Dwayne Johnson like or loath him is a very bankable actor and I have to admit he can carry the show quite well given where he came from and the type of movies he gets cast in at the moment (I'm sure he tries hard to forget the "tooth Fairy"). I would really like to see him in something where he might be able to stretch his acting muscles instead of his own. over all I was not bored which for me is a good sign the movie did something right. I would recommend this to you if just want to have a good monster movie with some good action and some lighter moments that are not corn ball at the expense of the film. my only grip is with Jeffrey Dean Morgan who those into Walking dead will know him from his role Negan. he played this part a lot like his character from his TV series and I found this really stupid and made me dis like him intensely if this was intended by the director it didn't work and I think is drew the movie away from its course. I mean even Dwayne's character wanted to punch him and so did I
The Horde (2016)
WTF did i do to myself
This is one of the most awful movies I have put myself though for quite some time. the concept had some promise but the reliance of clichéd teen characters and the OTT hero just sunk this film from the start. it was unbelievable from the very start, wooden people in a very haunted train ride type of world. I know it is a B or even a Z movie but come on! have some respect for the viewer. I found it cringe worthy and insulting to my ability to enjoy the movie no matter how trash it was. point in question would be the likes of the Toxic avenger which is a pile of crap but man you just can't not enjoy it and good ole Toxie. this movie left me mad, I felt robbed and I really hope the actors got paid cause if this is how they make a buck they are suffering for their art. I don't know how you flush a DVD down the toilet but if some knows could they please tell me so I can put an end to this train wreck of a film
Jackie (2016)
more boring than brain death
I was excited to watch this film given the hype about it and the fact Portman was playing the lead role. but something was missing? story, narrative or context? who knows all I know I was 45 min into this and I was wondering what the hell was going on. I get it, Jackie Kennedy has just lost her husband and the world doesn't seem to give a toss as it puts in a new president to replace him even before she has washed her dead husbands brains out of her hair. they are planning the funeral and all she can do is look for a great place to bury him, some where nice where he will be able to take in the sights at Arlington, news flash Jackie he is dead, I don't think he really cares!. The main problem with this film is the restrained nature of it, is this really how this woman acted after her husband was killed in such a horrific manner? its all to clinical and held together with Vicodin and upper class grace. I understand this movie is touted for Oscar nominations, I understand the nature of Portman's portal of Jackie Kennedy it was amazing given the limitations of what she must have had to work with. I just don't think she had the mindset of Jackie at all, I was not convinced, all I saw was Portman struggling, if this was meant to convey an aspect of Jackie's character then I'm sorry I missed the memo. someone else can love this movie for me it was a part of my life I would like back a long with my $25.
Hacksaw Ridge (2016)
Touching and important document of history
Something as relevant to the horror of war and how in a time of war men find the will to move beyond their own fragility is what is displayed here. in 2017 the people who fought in WW2 are now dwindling away like the last snows of winter. they are old, tired and mostly forgotten. the selfless act of enlistment in this war something most of us can not imagine. To be part of a fight that was in all intent to the bitter demise of all those involved is something we in general will never know. War is not something that needs to be glorified. War is about sacrifice, of life, will and spirit. it was something amazing to see a story about someone who chose to hold on to his spirit and beliefs and still sacrifice for his fellow men. men don't start wars but unfortunately they are the ones who have to finish them.
this movie is Mel Gibson's gift to the bravery of the men who fought in this war. he treated the subject of those that have strong beliefs but still choose to be part of a course of action that at its core seeks peace. the direction and flow of story is intense and drew me in, I felt the emotion and the events from Desmond Doss's past that made him who he was. speaking of the character of Desmond Doss portrayed by Andrew Garfield who has well and truly shaken off that Spider-Man image I had of him. it Spider-Man was an awful film and did him no favors. this film though should at least see him with a academy award nomination as well as best pic and Mel for director.
Vikings (2013)
The best series on TV now!!
Vikings for me is the most perfect historical/drama series I have seen in so long. The strength of Vikings is the humanity or lack there of in the characters portrayed. for example as much as you love Ragnar Lothbrok and he wins you over with that friendly twinkle in his eye you know he is a merciless killer with a talent for deceit. if I knew him for real I would fear him, he is the psychopathic wolf in wolf's clothing. he doesn't care either which makes him even more dangerous. but he is not alone, the cast of the show are sprinkled with such human flaws and failings that you start to sympathize with them until they do something that takes your breath away. I hate to say this there are sinners and then there are Vikings. I mean look at Ivor the boneless, what is this, he is disabled, his brothers don't take him seriously and he's a dud with the ladies. all big mistakes in the realm of assumptions, this guy is chiselled from the rock of Ragnar and as such is the every bit as scary as he, I even think Ragnar might learn to fear him. I could rave on about this show for ages, I want to but I will just say then you for such a wonderful show, I really missed it when it broke for mid season and am so glad its back now and I am whirling in my mind waiting to see what this whole new direction will take these characters. if you are new to Vikings give the early seasons a chance because by season 3 you will totally hooked.
Blood Father (2016)
tired and limp
Mel Gibson is still somewhat of a bankable actor but he is now showing his age and also his temper. this was a good idea that was either rushed into production or was poorly directed. the wealth of talented actors like Gibson and W.H Macy are wasted on poor delivery of what could have been solid action scenes. these scenes were wasted on trying to back fill the relationship between Gibson and his mystery daughter, who for the matter suddenly turns up after being unfindable for so many years. the relationship between these two is slightly creepy and untrustworthy. I found the lack of little development of these key characters and also anyone else for that matter left me not really caring about the film or the outcomes. I could not feel any sense of malice from the protagonists of the film who really were just out to kill the daughter but in the end wanted to play some Mexican standoff with Gibson's character. the whole thing I am sorry to say let me a little under whelmed and ripped off. if this is Mel Gibson's comeback movie its going t be a short comeback. I would recommend watching it, its not horrible but Mel maybe should have borrowed that beaver puppet from the movie the beaver, could have used it to communicate his repressed feelings to his gangster daughter. also in closing I would question the time length of this film as I felt it was too short and I wonder how much of this film was left on the cutting room floor. the director should not be afraid to make a longer film is the result is more action, more development of the key characters as people will still hop on the ride and enjoy it far more
The Intern (2015)
Massive yawn fest
the 2 stars are for De Niro, he is an actor of such high caliber that is wasted in this wishy washy flick. The premise is a good one and something that could have been taken to more places than this film did. Anne Hathaway is OK in her role but given the material she has to work with she struggles to show any brilliance. Mr De Niro is also hamstrung in his role as he seems to not be able to develop fully as a character. the drama what there is of it leaves you not really caring what happens to the people in this film. it is watchable, sadly predictable and too light and airy for my liking. Also I think the lack of a protagonist in this film is its hugest flaw. there is little serious conflict and not a lot of comedy.
Chappie (2015)
A important message for us all
I neglected this film for a long time, I know it was reviewed well and I would like it but I was unprepared for the journey I under took, what is here in this film is clearly a cautionary tail on the imminent or maybe even possible existence of AI. As artificial as we like to pretend a self aware robot would be it is shown in this film to be nothing like what we would expect. its not on/off its on and on and so forth. like an avalanche of human emotions and values tested. we as humans have had 4 million years to come to terms with being self aware, Chappie had seconds and the impact was dramatic. how he strove forward and became the being he did is a journey of courage and if I can say humanity. he is us, the love, hate and remorse. I was deeply touched by this film, to the point now that I look to the day when I meet my first self aware artificial life form with some trepidation and angst. You can't hide from Chappie, you are either his friend or his enemy. he will decide because he will judge your actions not your CV or your face book page. so remember this, please watch this film, I don't care who you are watch this film today and be ready cause Chappie in some incarnation is coming and we as humans need to learn to be a little more human so we will know who we really are when those come that might just be our better.
A Most Violent Year (2014)
Watchable at best
this kind of movie comes on the blockbuster channel and is light, slow moving and bland. the title is a bit of a hook to make you think there is something to this film. but when you get into it you find it is tired and a format that really is a bit condescending to all those other mid 80s gritty urban films. so what is so wrong you might ask, well the obvious is the lack of violence, its implied, hinted to but never really there. The one act of violence is one of desperation and sadness. the main character of this film is a more than nice, good as gold off the boat type. no gangster vive for this guy he is all light colored trench coats and well kept hairdos. Even his wife is more of a crook than he is. He is if I can say it the Ned Flanders of this film. and this is the problem. He is pushed, poked and prodded and does nothing, cause he is the "good guy" and really who wants to see that. I was waiting for this guy to lose it and go ape on those punks. but it never happens, the movie just puddles along and he seems to slip though it all with little or no consequence. IK mean OK, I get it its a movie about a man who has some morals, but really, the title asks me to think other wise. I think this movie while entertaining is also annoying, the development of the characters didn't make me care about them in the slightest. things happened that were not fully explored in the plot of the film and we as the viewer were cheated by not having a shock ending or some climax to tie the movie together. so good for a Sunday afternoon but not as a serious film