Reviews

A very dragging re-frying of that very dated Space Jam movie from my early teenage years, with small icons of the Titans providing side commentary, never as fun or engaging as MST3K or the likes, never. Bummed out. I really wish the Space Jam to go away from it, but you have 1 hour 15 minutes of it...

Nothing more to be said. Waiting for this and then they lost me at James Corden...

It's not the lovable alien doctor/detective who uses empathy and cold reading to diagnose/solve mysteries from the comics, but an even more alien/ated and shocking Dr. House who sniffs everything. Yet let's see where it goes. No rating until the second episode comes out.

Or roll your eyes, and you will miss it too.

Nope, sir, I didn't like it.

Too short, nothing is said or done, nothing happens, soundtrack annoying. You have no time to invest yourself in any narration. It becomes a background nuisance.

I think the same can be said for all the other episodes too.

A bad selection of segments of comedy special that shows a lot of misjudgement. Awful jokes that become worse decontextualized from their original routine, badly put together, and 90% of them in very poor taste, unfunny or plainly disgusting.

Another episode terribly directed by Jonathan Frakes of a whole season story arc that instead of making us appreciate innovation in ST, ends up killing the franchise like Bakula's Xindhi season!

The Mirror/Terran Universe scenes seem taken out from an Austin Powers parody. Is the hilarity intentional? Nope.

Each new episode of Discovery reaches new levels of cheesiness! That's what it accomplishes well.

Weakest episode so far of the weakest season at the moment.

I'm getting impatient with the dull story arc.

Good ol' wise but weary Santa Claus is trying to keep running his small but basic and strategic industry in a world where God has been dead and silent for a time. He operates within the gift economy and needs funding desperately. Although this gift economy provides a huge stimulus to global and national commody-consumer-market economies, he is being bullied by the US government into working for the Military-Industrial Complex to get the subsidies for his increasingly thankless altruistic operation. He tries to find funding among others sources (looking at you, Elon), but fails and must contemplate if switching into weapon development by the World's Vampire (yes, 'tis country of thee) to ensure the livelihood of his little helpers and the rewarding of those who have deemed nice. The godless materialistic world makes it all such a bitter task, and he is resented by those who have been judged naughty. Enter a White privileged despicable kid who worships such sinister characters as Napoleon, and a frustrated and scorned yet highly efficient and smart hitman with a grudge... lol

Why do I keep watching this?! Even with David Cronenberg guest starring, even if I cry with every cheesy motivational speech by Burnham, why must we tolerate the blunt attacks of this cringe-provoking piece of soap opera? Star Trek-fragility?

Living in Europe, in East Germany, I have no moral qualms about full nudity. I go FKK all the way! I am sex-positive, and I have no problem with gendered or agendered sexed beings giving each other joy with their bodies in between. But this is different! A lookist 'meat market' of vulnerable human flesh sold on air for sex?! Really This is degrading to all humanity and all forms of life! This is what Confederate and Nazi and Apartheid dreams are made of!

I like emotive moments, and I have shed a tear or two over one or two lines by Michael Burnham, but does the sentimentality really need to get abusively corny to the point of inducing eye rolling or cringe?

Other than that, this show constantly jumps the shark with its far-fetched plot lines and gets you tired at the 5-minutes mark of any episode.

Production values are great, though. And a Black female protagonist is repulsive to right-wingers, so at least it has the added valued that you can enjoy their conservative tears and misoginystic whining about this show. I hope it lasts long, that it goes on to have many seasons. I just won't be watching it while it's written and acted like a daytime soap opera.

Annoying AF, and badly written. The constant 4th-Wall breaks by Enola destroys the narrative, the pace, it's condescending, and becomes annoying, irritating.

But the worst sin of the movie is characterization. Whoever wrote this has no understanding of Mycroft Holmes (here an insufferable chauvinist petit-maître millions of miles away from the understated genius, government superagent of the Conan Doyle books) and to add insult to injury, the characterization of Sherlock Holmes himself, despite the books, plays, movies and tv shows who clearly show what kind of character he is, his personality, and so on. Having Henry Cavill miscast as a sympathetic, charismatic, friendly, brotherly, caring Holmes is an irony in itself, after his utterly misguided casting as Superman, whom he played as depressive, brooding, uncharismatic emo dull bore that ruined that other classic franchise for years to come. He seems to be condemned to always miss the mark as an actor thanks to awful scriptwriters and poor characterization.

A lot of chauvinists are giving low ratings to the movie because it's allegedly "feminist", but that's also far from the fact of why this movie fails, since it also lacks a mature and nuanced understanding of what feminism is.

It starts a bit slow setting the premise of the argument, one a bit nasty, but around the 30 minute mark, the laughs get going with the psychodramatic re-enactments. Later, before the 1 hour mark, it gets demented crazy hilarious. Wait for it. Sarah the Sock deserves an award. The dead doth trot on our common humanity!

Let me be clear about this, I strongly recommend that instead of this, you just go watch any film or tv version of the amazing Miss Marple, including its great copycat/hommage/ripoff, 'Jessica Fletcher' in 'Murder She Wrote'. As parody, this one fails, unless you like youtube-quality fan fiction by your cringiest neighbour.

Such an improvement over the hideous and depressing faux-anime from the former DCAU movies...

But the pacing at the beginning is slow, not story-wise, but edition-wise.

By the 5th episode, the show has not yet been at all likeable for me. I feel impatient with it, feel annoyed by it, don't care for it. I love Bob's Burgers. I love the frequent use of songs in Bob's Burgers, the musical episodes, the animation, the plot, the characters, the voice actors, the writing. This is not what I'm feeling about Central Park. I don't care for the characters. I don't case for the land-grabbing scheme by the villain (a lady voiced by Stanley Tucci) against New York's Central Park and the family, it feels stupid and boring instead of thought-provoking or great political commentary on the intrigues by the typical USAmerican capitalist vampires speculating with property, land, real estate, market shares, and people's lives. I don't care for the protagonists. I hate the songs, the narrating "bard, the writing, the plot, the jokes. Nope. It should have been a home run, but Central Park feels like the sum all good elements and good conditions can still make a batter hit a ball into a weak foul caught by the catcher... And I feel repulsed by it, can't stand it... I will keep watching to see if it catches on fire.

This is a beautiful art/science/philosophy installation music film by Icelandic composer Jóhann Jóhannsson released after his death in 2018, from a haunting text by the British philosopher and writer Olaf Stapledon, known by his "science fiction" in the first half of the 20th-Century. It's narrated by Tilda Swinton, who conveys greatly the tone of a once and future humanity (a post-humanity, if you will). The visuals are provided mostly by brutalist Soviet concrete architecture from the former Yugoslavia.

Apparently the film is being marketed by some quarters like some sort of kind of post-apocalyptic sci-fi pic, and apparently kids are watching it with expectations of seeing the likes of Mad Max (which is a great series of films, anyway) or Ready Player One or who knows what kind of zombie crap. This is not it, and you can then laugh at their perplexed and resentful reviews giving the film 1 star. No, nope, nope. What were they sold? This is not World War Z, nor the Time Machine. Think, if of anything, of Guy Debord's films, John Berger, Soviet films, think of Paul Virilio's Bunker Archaeology, think of the visuals and soundtrack for T. S. Eliot's serious poems (not "Cats", of course), etc. Think of Cosmos or 2001: A Space Odissey, if you want. Think of a documentary. Think of a museum exhibit. Think of a manifesto for post-humanity. Think of archaeology in 2 Billion AD... but for Pete's sake, when you get into watching this film, stop thinking you are entering a McDonald's or a Chuck E. Cheese when you come in into The Met or a Guggenheim museum.

Depressive AF. Noisy as heck. Fake Austrian gas station (google translated as "Petrol Bahnhof" instead of "Tankstelle") was the only piece of comedy (unintentional and clumsy). But it's thrilling. Just light it up.