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ted-25121
Reviews
Patton (1970)
Robert Wagner Doppleganger
Does anyone else see the striking resemblance of the exhausted and distressed tank Captain played by Clint Ritchie to a young Robert Wagner? Ritchie even sounds like Wagner and, for the first 10 times I saw the movie, I thought it WAS Robert Wagner.
V/H/S (2012)
Guiness Book world record is set in this movie
This movie sets the world record for the F-bomb. I wanted to climb through my TV screen and ask the girls to F-me, as it was constantly in their thoughts and coming from their mouths.
The Wild Wild West: The Night of the Sabatini Death (1969)
Alan Hale, Jr. has lost a step since he played Casey Jones
I'd put this on the lower end of W3 episodes. Alan Hale, Jr., subbing for recovering Ross Martin, displays very little physical mobility. Only in the final scene does he move at all, if you call falling down on an already unconscious villain "moving."
To correct a couple reviews here, Hale doesn't say tropical island; he says desert island and doesn't say he had a dream he was stranded on a desert island...it was where he was going to spend his upcoming vacation. Moral of the story: don't text while driving or watching TV.
Boris and Natasha (1992)
Where can I get that chip?
Is that chip available in a 2-hour version, so I can reverse my life to the moment before it began? I could have spent the time cleaning my bathrooms.
Cops: On the Dean's List (2017)
I'm behind the cops, but I'd sue them
When the dog has already found the perp in the trash can, pull the dog back, aim your sidearm or taser and then tip over the can. Don't tip over the can, flush out the perp and walk the dog to him to bite him.
This was CLEARLY police brutality. In fact, the more I watch all of these COPS reruns, the more I question training, impartiality and consistency. They book someone for a few pot seeds and stems, but they don't charge for needles, because they don't want to poke themselves. WHAT?
Judge Karen's Court (2010)
This woman is an idiot
I've just left the first and only episode I will ever attempt to watch. The "judge" is an idiot and appropriately named "Karen." She very well could be the genesis of the same name we give to busy-bodies.
In this case, a deadbeat woman won't pay the balance of a used car note, because it must have failed a state inspection and couldn't be reregistered without repairs. Not only does she still owe over $2,200 for the car. Not only that, be she's suing the seller for $9,900 for emotional distress, including $2.000 for the car problems, another $2,000 for the car not being available to take her to work, another $1,500 for humiliation of the seller knocking on the neighbor's door. I finally shut off the show when the 75-year-old neighbor gave video testimony against the seller with a photo of the seller. Was the seller on her porch? Was the seller even outside? No, it was a picture of the seller, smiling, indoors and the seller looks about 10 years younger in the photo. Perhaps it was a Facebook photo!
But, did the 10th grade dropout "judge" question the photo? Not one bit. What a brain-dead actor!!!
Give it up. This is definitely low-brow garbage for those who dropped-out of school even earlier than did the "judge."
Judge Karen's Court (2010)
This woman is an idiot
I've just left the first and only episode I will ever attempt to watch. The "judge" is an idiot and appropriately named "Karen." She very well could be the genesis of the same name we give to busy-bodies.
In this case, a deadbeat woman won't pay the balance of a used car note, because it must have failed a state inspection and couldn't be reregistered without repairs. Not only does she still owe over $2,200 for the car. Not only that, be she's suing the seller for $9,900 for emotional distress, including $2.000 for the car problems, another $2,000 for the car not being available to take her to work, another $1,500 for humiliation of the seller knocking on the neighbor's door. I finally shut off the show when the 75-year-old neighbor gave video testimony against the seller with a photo of the seller. Was the seller on her porch? Was the seller even outside? No, it was a picture of the seller, smiling, indoors and the seller looks about 10 years younger in the photo. Perhaps it was a Facebook photo!
But, did the 10th grade dropout "judge" question the photo? Not one bit. What a brain-dead actor!!!
Give it up. This is definitely low-brow garbage for those who dropped-out of school even earlier than did the "judge."
2012: Ice Age (2011)
Truly, truly an AWFUL movie
I can't begin to list the stupid scenes or the errors. The kid, Nelson, is an idiot. The father, Bill, is a jerk - he thinks nothing of helping himself to everyone else's things, but leaves people stranded along the road, while he's driving a huge step van he "borrowed" after he carelessly flipped his own car...an old unbadged Toyota with paint peeling on the hood...a real high-budget movie.
The plot is so simple and thin. It's just POINTLESS. And it has NOTHING to do with the end of times. There is nothing spiritual. There is nothing mentioned about the Mayan calendar. There are just lots of destruction, traffic jams and vehicle wreckage.
It's an hour and a half of my live that I will never recover, time better spent doing ANYTHING else. ANYTHING.
The Apocalypse (2007)
Must be a different movie
I was moved to tears and I believe I've found God again.
Perhaps the other reviews hate God. May He have mercy on their souls. Amen.
Forensic Files: The List Murders (1996)
John List, after the murders, could not have been a "CPA"
Certified Public Accountants are licensed. List could not have assumed a new identity and taken a CPA credential with him to that new identity. He would have had to acquire an accredited college degree, passed the Uniform Certified Public Accounting Examination (almost as hard as the bar) and then an open book ethics exam. After that, he'd have needed between 1.5 and 3 years of junior and senior public accounting experience. Some states require fingerprints. All states require background checks. Not g'wan happ'n. This guy would have been toast.
The Basketball Fix (1951)
No actors available who know how to dribble a basketball?
The plot was decent - kind of a Mickey Rooney "Quicksand" on the basketball court, instead of a car dealership.
I guess they needed a babyface Marshall Thompson to play Johnny Long but it's a shame that they couldn't have found someone who looked like they actually knew how to play the game.
Maybe the make-up department could have done something with Chuck Connors, only 4 years older than Thompson, as he played for the Celtics after he returned from serving in WWII.
Borderforce USA: The Bridges (2019)
Interesting...but they let off 90% of the smugglers!
Huge seizures worth millions. Drugs confiscated and destroyed (maybe). Smugglers given a sweet kiss on the cheek and sent back to Mexico to try again tomorrow. Like they say almost every episode, "it's a 'cat and mouse' game." But you can bet that little old Wisconsin-born ME would go to jail for life for those (3) 5-gallon buckets of 92% meth and 8% paint and the two cases of Corona that were actually ALL liquified meth. Instead, the two fat, middle-aged senoras were questioned and released. Yeah, right, as if they were going to paint their house in Laredo with meth and have a party with everyone drinking straight meth. If I was in the federal government and I saw this show, heads would roll!
The Ride (1997)
Predictable and boring, but somewhat touching
I clicked spoiler, but you'll know the end, long before you see it.
What I liked: Mike, the owner, sounds like "Fat Tony" about 75% of the time. In fact, I waited for the credits to see his name, Clarence Felder. Checking "The Simpsons" cast, he's NOT "Fat Tony." Anyway, I loved to listen to his mobster voice throughout the movie. Smokey, the has-been bull rider will always be Johnny Ringo to me. I kept waiting for Val Kilmer to step out from the shadows and say, "I'm your huckleberry." Back to Mike, when he had the loan collectors in his office, it was like "Fat Tony" getting ready to pass judgment on Homer Simpson. Classic. What I didn't like: Just not reality. Of course, neither is "The Matrix," which I'll never watch, because people don't fly or walk up walls. At least "The Ride" didn't rely on anything more than stuntmen who were really physically at risk. Why I started to watch it: The Dish on-screen guide said it was about someone getting in an NYC taxi and things getting crazy from there or something like that. Why I kept watching it: I hoped it would get better. I have to change my rating from 4 to 3 before submitting this. By the way: I'm a Christian...a confirmed Lutheran, if that's considered Christian, anymore, with all the born-agains and revivalists.