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Reviews
Mummy Maniac (2007)
There is nothing to spoil here!
Here is what happens in this movie. It starts out with some guy getting killed. This is the killer's step dad, some text explains. And ever since, cops keep finding dead girls wrapped in bandages. Oh, yes! It's the Mummy Maniac!
He captures a girl. Takes her to a room. Waves random weapons in the air to scare her. Kills her. Wraps her in bandages. Lifts her shirt. Repeat. This happens about five times, I think. Then the movie ends. That's all there is.
The second girl was apparently the only one they could get to appear on film naked, because for the rest of the movie, they inter cut footage of her writhing in pain, nude and bound (a scene which never happened). For some reason, they also liked footage of a pipe getting cut with a saw.
The worst part about this movie is in between mindless killings, there are scenes that make you think there might be a plot. I found myself fast forwarding through all the killings for these nuggets, hoping for something redeemable. Then it just ends, not explaining or resolving anything.
Bravo. Finally a movie that is worse than Cheerleader Ninjas.
Class of 3000 (2006)
Overlooked Genius
I don't like Outkast music. I don't like the music in this show. I don't know how anyone could find music in that flurry of post-production. The characters aren't very original, nor are the situations. And the way Andre 3000's character is portrayed seems very egotistical.
All this considered, I was going to hate this show. Before I saw it, I couldn't imagine how I'd like it. And I was wrong.
The redeeming factor here is the creativity, a sort of creativity that nearly every modern cartoon is lacking. There's creativity in the writing, in the animation, in everything. And it all flows seamlessly. The story-boarding is better than anything else on the station. My favorite part I've seen is when the kids each play their instruments, bringing Sonny the world of their music. The transitions between the kids are seamless and clever, while also managing to make me crack a smile.
It's one of those cases where a bad story is told well enough to be redeemable. There are some very talented people behind this one, and their work makes the complaints of this review seem minor. I find myself enjoying it very much.
Superman Returns (2006)
Average Man
This movie started out good, but then kept going. On. And on. And on.
Eventually, it was nothing but a bunch of climaxes. Predictable climaxes. No rising action, no falling action, nothing of the sort. I found myself thinking "oh, something is falling... Superman is going to catch it." Over and over again.
But it wasn't all bad. The repetitive climax only became a problem after about the first hour, and you start begging for something different. And the special effects were awesome.
Basically, a movie that's best viewed by kids and nostalgic adults. Luckily, that's a pretty big audience.