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Reviews
Martyrs (2008)
My god....
Film review being the highly subjective and personal thing it is, I shall not expend great amounts of words here.
Suffice to say, this film is, in some ways, the most shocking film I have seen in twenty years of watching some truly hard and driven cinema.
If you enjoy being challenged, and like a film that leaves it to you to draw the conclusions, I really, really cannot recommend this highly enough.
If you are of a sensitive nature, are easily offended, or are a torture porn junkie give it a wide berth.
Accomplished, audacious, and so affecting I am not yet sure if I even LIKED it. I just know any serious cinephile should watch it. This is the film Gasper Noe has been trying to make for fifteen years.
Sei mong se jun (2004)
An hour and a half I will never get back.
Little more needs be said then that, as other reviews have nailed it. Occasionally pretty, but utterly without substance. Faux profundity, pointless but at the same time oddly timid torture porn, and an ensemble cast of utterly unlikeable characters. The Pangs should be ashamed to have their once respected name hung on this. Really, do not bother. Get Amenábars 'tesis' instead, as it covers similar themes far more grippingly. Or, frankly, go do some washing up, it'd be time better spent.
J-horror has entered its death throes. The baton has passed to France, I suppose.
Doctor Who: Blink (2007)
Best yet.
Difficult to say too much about this episode without giving the game away. Suffice to say you'll never look at statues in the same way. That's not too much of a slip as within the first few minutes it's sort of clear where its going. The beauty of the writing, directing and acting here being that it's still damn scary! Proper seat edge, hide your eyes (CLUE!) stuff like I haven't seen since Tom Bakers days. The Doctor doesn't really have much to do (it reminds slightly of those occasional episodes of MASH or Starskey and Hutch when the leads took a back seat to a lesser character and really only showed up for the epilogue) but as ever Tennant gets the most he can and then some from his bits (his assistant I can take or leave, sorry). Even manages to have a couple of genuinely touching moments of pathos. Really, really good TV.
Everybody Loves Sunshine (1998)
Really, really bad, and not in a good way.
The presence of the director/writer in a pivotal (but highly unconvincing) role would probably be a clue.
This is a vast, flabby vanity project featuring people who should have been more vain, at least when choosing how they appear on celluloid. The always cringe-worthy Goldie and the Laughing Gnome battle it out for the title of worst musician actor, and thats about the only interesting thing in this artless morass of lame empty posturing and pathetic macho gangsterism.
Say what you like about posho's like Guy Ritchie making caper flicks, at least he can make a well crafted film that looks like it had at least one grown up keeping an eye on things.
Avoid like the clap. Gets two just for Rachel Shelleys impressively augmented rack.
Room 6 (2006)
Bunch of arse.
I assume the Horror Channel in the UK purchases these landfill horror flicks by the yard like bad lino. Suffice to say it's the worst kind of cookie-cutter crap imaginable. The cast try valiantly, with even the staggeringly unlikeable Jerry O'Connell (how is he still working?) giving it the old college try. But trash is trash, and no matter how you polish, it remains so. I'm reticent to even mention the most gratuitous lesbian nurse scene ever lest it suggests something worth watching out of lustful desperation. The director even makes lesbian nurses moribund.
Avoid like the clap. And stop watching the Horror Channel; it's just no damn good.
Inside Man (2006)
A classy Spike joint.
"Pouring new wine into the bottle of the Western, Peckinpah explodes the bottle" Pauline kael once remarked of Sam Peckinpah. Spike Lee doesn't quite break the aged bottle of the heist picture, but he shakes some dust off. And I reckon Bloody Sam would have liked what he poured.
Not in terms of violence. It's a little hectic, but there's no bloody showdowns. But there's an old time slickness about the shooting, a polish and finesse that todays crop of hacks couldn't touch with their epilepsy inducing ADHD shooting styles.
That said, the stylish touches manage not to weigh down a brisk, thoughtful, and above all original script. You think you know where it's going, you even guess some of the twists, but like any devoted student of film history Spike manages to send the viewer down a few blind alleys, a few dead ends, and some ultimately rewarding unexpected detours.
Denzal Washington is, as ever, pure class, making it look effortless in a way De Niro once did, but without piling on the worthiness or shedding a touch of light humour. Clive Owen is solid, more then able to hold up intervals that may have lulled under lessor directors. Jody Fosters role, effectively a cameo, felt like stunt casting but was a nice touch (a somewhat out of character role for Foster, in line with her more recent voyages of discovery). The whole cast were up to Spike Lee's normal high ensemble standard, no one underused or underplayed, no one trying to run away with the show.
Well worth two hours of anyones time. The likes of Brett Ratner should bring a notepad and pencil, learn a few things.
Wolf Creek (2005)
A nothing film thoroughly undeserving of its reputation.
Even amidst a horror renaissance, it seems we are somewhat undiscerning about what we put on a pedestal.
Having seen Wolf Creek today, after a great deal of anticipation on my part, I'm completely mystified as to why there's any buzz at all about this film. It is a very very average film, featuring things that have been done twenty times before, and then better. It's not blatant enough to be homage, camp or fun enough to be parody, or original enough to set a new benchmark. Thus its neither use nor ornament.
There is no new insight. It's shot in a way that wants to be verite but looks sloppy. It's script felt phoned in. The end is completely "will this do?" As if even the film maker was bored by that point.
It's a whole load of "so what" basically. Not nearly as good as it thinks it is and was, I suspect, lucky enough to enjoy a good whispering marketing campaign. To discuss this in the same breath as Blair Witch (as I have heard) is ignorant to the point of laughable.
I suggest all involved grab the money and run. On the strength of this, I don't think people will be fooled twice.
Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)
Craptacular fun, but no Romero flick by any stretch.
Yeah yeah, we all know the story about the rights to the earlier Romero flicks, so it's no mystery how this gained the nomenclature "Day of the Dead 2." A better question is why? Because the only way this film should be mentioned in relation to the benchmark work of Romero is in the phrase "...and isn't nearly as good as what Romero can do." It's name is opportunistic cash cow milking, no more. Let's be absolutely clear, this is a Day of the Dead sequel in the same way that the American remake of Get Carter is an inspired and intelligent reappraisal of the original. Not at all, basically.
That aside, it's not a bad movie and is a fun way to waste an hour and a half if you enjoy zombie flicks. Competently shot, if uninspiring and far from inspirational. The writing is ho hum, introducing a pathetic and pointless alien DNA exposition (the whole point is you don't KNOW why there are zombies, you idiots! Cah!) The acting is TV level but enjoyable enough.
It rolls along nicely, gives you what you want and expect from a film about the undead, then stops abruptly and rather weakly. No real gut munching, but some nasty effects. It could well be an extended episode of the Outer Limits with extra blood directed by a film grad and his mates over a dull weekend.
All in all, it just suffers from the expectations of its name. Left as merely Contagion it'd probably get a much needed break from let down viewers. Forget everything you know about the supreme original trilogy, switch your mind off, and enjoy.