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jbstad
Reviews
Holiday Road (2023)
Finally a good new holiday movie in 2023
A heartfelt, well written movie about strangers who are forced by circumstances to travel together to get to Denver in time for Christmas. Done honestly, without silliness and with great heart and soul. The ensemble cast was great, with each story emotionally powerful. It was just lovely. I loved the current trend subplot of the vlogger. What delight. I was surprised and had sych low expectations after so very many silly movies so far this year. I had almost given up hope that we would see a heartfelt movie in the old beloved Hallmark tradition. Definitely a winner! There were even a few sweetbsurprises in the subplots. Watch this one.
Never Been Chris'd (2023)
Two hours we will never get back
Disappointing waste of one of the best actors (It Was Always You -Tyler Hynes) in this juvenile, ridiculous, petulant movie about 30 somethings acting like16 year olds. The characters were without honesty and there was little to relate to or sympathize with, other than they had to act in this movie. Worse than high school, it felt more junior high school. A script without heart or soul. Even the romance, and I use the term loosely, was empty and unbelievable. Whoever greenlit this has no idea why viewers watch Hallmark. It is not for juvenile and silly. So far the new batch of Christmas movies are mostly unwatchable, unreal, and under par.
Cross Country Christmas (2020)
One of the best Hallmark movies recently
It's been a while since Hallmark has made a movie like they used to be known for when they did one or two a holiday, quality like A Season Of Miracles, Trading Christmas, A Wish For Holly, and the Time To Come Home For Christmas series, heartfelt, well-written, enjoyable. This has the old Hallmark feel. The actors are great, the characters people you want to root for instead of obnoxious, self absorbed stinkers who seem to populate Hallmark nowadays. 2023 seems to be starting really badly with real clunkers like the unwatchable, horrifically cast Christmas By Design but this is a shining success from 2020 and this is quite wonderful. More by this writer and with heart and class and likable characters.
Christmas by Design
So bad
I can see the casting call now, "For the male lead...no one good looking. Send us instead the actor who looks most like a life-size, barely, elf. Casting the secondaries? Please send us the most homely, unattractive actors you have." So besides being difficult to watch that at time you winced, the female character is such an unsympathetic person, a real pill. She was rude and snippy to everyone. You don't have to make someone a complete b#$&h to have honest character change. The script was just okay, though the fashion designer's choices were odd. The flannel onesie with the red bib on the hero made me laugh out loud, and I don't think it was supposed to be funny. A Hispanic who was Jewish, I suppose it's possible, and then there's the great dialogue like "I'm a good sewer," not so much. Try seamstress.
While some of the new holiday Hallmark movies are turning out to be weak and emotionless, not to mention silly, this is the worse I've had the misfortune to see. It's a complete thumbs down. 90 minutes you will never get back.
A Splash of Love (2022)
Hard to watch character. Poorly researched. Cringe.
Absolutely cringeworthy female character. The actress who, while she is only doing as character was written and directed, often talks so fast in some scenes her lines turn to mush. Clumsy, slapstick silliness, like the antics in the rocking boat, screaming at water, chattering goofiness, all go beyond believable and are in almost every new scene to the point that despite the great whale footage, it is difficult to keep watching. Mercurial character repeatedly goes from acting like an excited toddler into "scene mode," throwing all character credibility out the window. Poorly researched. Deception Pass in his boat as shown? Not an issue. Whales don't "jump" (her conversation with boyfriend) they breach. And this is from a whale mammal scientist? Whale watching boat captain doesn't need her photos to see the angles of the whales. Eye-roll. Plus if you live in the PNW you know whale pods are tracked and monitored. This really fails on too many levels.
Positives. Solid male actor/character and other characters. Setting does look like the San Juan islands. All the silliness is tied to the female character. Choe. Who could watch these scenes and approve this? Sadly, there was a good story in there somewhere.
The Weekend Away (2022)
Big-time motive issues
Incredibly weak plot that makes lead look like an idiot. She keeps telling people too much, trusting everyone, in a foreign country, really weak reasons two times for her to stay in Croatia, no explanation whose money Kate was using, gives up her Passport and never contacts an attorney or the US Embassy. Perfect example of a too stupid to live heroine stupid, who continues right down to the last scenes of the movie. Annoying production expects us to be able to read phone texts. Really? Somewhere in there was a goid story if someone would have taken the time to logically and honestly motive the lead character.
Summer Villa (2016)
Anorexic lead actress
Movie is fine, just what Hallmark does. Nice relationship with chef and sulky teen. Why are all the teen girls in Hallmark sulky? At least she isn't rude. The problem, and it is a big problem, is the lead actress is horrifically thin. The bones in her back show in some of the clothes and her arms are so thin I cannot imagine if the camera adds ten pounds how she must look in person. Almost skeletal. Dark circles under her eyes add to the unhealthy look. Makes the movie difficult to watch. Distracting. Interesting that a production network that is so very afraid to give more than a chase kiss at the end would care so little about female body image.
Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas (2018)
Unlikable lead character
While not the lead actress' fault, the female lead character is churlish and truly unlikable. The issue appears to be in the writing, the character's actions and attitude and dialogue. The actress is only bringing the written character to life. The director is working with the script material, which is a good story at its heart, though the candy as a business saver is a stretch. Bit it's Hallmark. I'll forgive a stretch but not a one dimensional mean, strident female character. The woman is just a real pill. Who wants to root for such a stinker? Her attitude, her actions, her responses...everything. A good writer understands you don't have to go polar opposite to have a character change by the story's end. This writer doesn't know how to write a woman with any sense of an honest, subtle touch but instead goes for a cliched b$&ch. What a waste. Shame on hallmark!
Christmas by the Book (2018)
Seriously malnourished female lead
So terribly distracting too thin actress. When a woman is naturally lean you can tell; it is part of her. And when a woman is way, too unnaturally thin, like this actress, you can tell it's malnourishment or eating disorders. Her bones protrude. Costuming dressed her in sleeveless, vee necked tight dress that only accentuate her unnatural thinness. I cannot imagine if the camera adds 10#s what this poor woman looks like in person. Just way, way too difficult to watch. Someone needs to help her. And casting should be reprimanded. Shame on Hallmark for propagating this unhealthy female body. Couldn't watch anymore.
Christmas Collision (2021)
So bad. The worst.
I have no idea how this was made. The worst written I have ever seen. This is not against the actors, who had to work with this drivel. Lack of motive. Melodrama. No logical info on a conflict that was empty. Everything resolved with no information about what happen. How the foreclosure came about. No research done about how these kind of situations work. No explanation of why some little farm was important enough to steal. Did they steal? What happened at the bank? Heroine does a character 180 between scenes. Horrific cliches: she breaks a high heel; opens at a funeral; sudden motive for the all life-important cookie competition? OMG! Over the top dialogue and focus. All that was missing was her father's twirling mustache. The writer clearly has never written anything. Wince-worthy.
A Very Merry Bridesmaid (2021)
Distracting details make it hard to watch
Lead actress opening. Hideous sweater tucked into (?) 1980s pants. Really, really bad wardrobe. The worst I've seen on Hallmark. One truly ugly and dated Goodwill sweater after another. Multicolored jet, green space dyed, bright orange sheeplike loop...so bad! Not sure what the male lead actor was wearing in the opening, something styled by Steve Bannon. Fiancé, brother, and parents were dressed fine. The n we have the new Hallmark actress ringlet hair like Nellie on Little House On The Prairie. Not attractive. Was this really made in 2021? Unfortunately, the male lead looks like a terrorist. Overall these were terribly distracting. Very hard to watch, much less like.
A Novel Romance (2015)
Unlikable main character
Poorly researched (publishing business) and a female character who lies and then dumps male lead bcz he didn't tell her he was a reclusive author. Wimpy character who is hard to like. Poor writing with weak conflict that must be manipulated.
Hearts of Winter (2020)
Awkward but tries
Familiar and talented actors forced to deliver some of the worst dialogue written. The female lead keeps repeating what the men say, first with her brother, then with the male lead. Plot is fine if a little dull. Story premise could have been better in more skilled pens. I like Hallmark movies. I like romance. I don't ask for perfection but the dialogue is awkward in every scene. Written in crayon. Squirm-worthy.
Christmas Sail (2021)
Weak
The other reviewer was right. No chemistry. Lots of actress laughing awkwardly until the viewer starts feeling uncomfortable with her. The rest of the cast was fine. The story had potential but the scenes were slightly tired and too quiet and there should have been more active scenes about her mother and their life in the city. The script needed dynamic and some honest drama, and perhaps a better lead. The best scenes were O'Quinn's, especially when he talked to her about selling the boat. He did such a good job and she was grinning, wincing and sniffing her way through the most emotional scene in the movie. I don't know if it was bad directing, bad casting, or a weak actress who couldn't find the heart of her character. Better scenes between the two male leads.
If I Only Had Christmas (2020)
Truly bad
No story, no conflict, no realism, strained dialogue, embarrassingly awful dancing. Likable actors in an empty script. And I like Hallmark movies. I watched it wincing or twitching most of the time. I agree with 2 hours I'll never get back. Shame on Hallmark.
Virgin River (2019)
Unrelenting trauma drama
Virgin River is an unrelentingly dismal storyline with really good actors cast as truly unlikable characters. Main character Mel's past is peeled away like a big yellow neon onion--there to make you to cry with all the subtlety of sledgehammer, maudlin, weepy, and wishy washy, and Hope is from the first scene a bitter, deeply disturbed woman who gets worse and more ugly a personality as the series continues. Only Jack is complex and honestly believable, never whiny, and an exception because Tim Matheson is typecast as the grouchy old small town doc we've seen before. The weak characters have dimension but it is written with an unsophisticated, melodramatic, and heavy handed pen. Were there ever a glimmer of a light moment in this whole series the review would better, but this series is a slow slog from one trauma drama to another, one bar scene with breaking dishes to another, and ultimately from one bitter woman to another weepy, wimpy one.
Little Women (2017)
Truly unwatchable
Bad cast with little acting chops and weak scenes are made worse by a horrifically awful score-examples by the snowball fight scene. I could not finish it, so perhaps it suddenly became watchable. Hours I will never get back.
The Widow (2019)
Good idea ruined
By Ep 4 I was starting to question every strange character action. Where was the motive? Georgia too often did the stupid heroine thing. The structure of flashbacks was overdone, clunky and often resulted in a confusing choppy mess and told us things we didn't need. It was a great idea with a convoluted, too heavy mess of a plot, most of which you could see coming a mile away. Sadly predictable despite all the red herrings. By Episode 7 and 8, when her reactions were so wrong, all I wanted to do was shake some sense into the writers. I like Beckinsale, but the decisions to have her panting (annoying) audio when we couldn't see a thing or the scene because of filming in the dark, all I felt was mostly irritated. Complete fail.