Reviews

OK first of all, Tyler Perry, I love your plays. A lot. More than I probably should but you have to stop naming your movies after your plays when they have nothing to do with the former aside from a character or two. In this case the only things the stage play and the movie have in common are a handy man, the title, and Madea. But Madea is in almost everything so that doesn't count. Therefore this cannot be considered an adaptation. There are a few things one needs in order to create his or her own Tyler Perry movie:

* 1 messed up drunk/druggie woman/mom

* 1 self-centered woman

* 1 wise old woman

* 1 smart mouth kid

* Madea

* A good looking smart/helpful/god fearing male

* A good looking drunk/abusive male

* Drama

Now these movies, like all Perry's movies, have all or most of these. The story follows April (Taraji P. Henson) an alcoholic (who doubles as our drunk and self-centered woman) night club dancer who must take in her sister's kids (the oldest being the smart mouth kid.) An old church goer (who plays our wise old woman) begs April to keep the children since their caregiver, April's mom, is missing (more on that later.) At the same time April is sleeping with married man Randy (our good looking abusive, racist, pedophile male) and is asked by the neighborhood pastor to take in a Spanish boarder (our good looking nice guy.) Now how does Madea come into this? That's a good question. Why the hell was Madea in this movie? For familiarity and a few laughs that's why. Without her this movie would have zero laughs and leave its viewers in a constant state of sadness.

The 3 kids (April's niece and 2 nephews) break into Madea's house in the middle of the night. Do they go for the DVD player, no? Do they go for the jewels, no? Do they go for Madea's purse, no? Instead, they steal Madea's VCR. Her VCR. As far I know, this movie takes place in 2009. If I was a 15 year old girl who needed to sell things for my brother's meds, the VCR would be the last thing I'd go after.

So after Madea catches the kids in her house, she takes them to their Aunt and to pay off their debt they must help Madea around her house. April asks them where the grandmother is and the kid's reply that she left for work 4 days ago and never came home. Now, the grandmother is missing. The nice old lady from the church is worried and asks if anyone has seen her and no one has seen her for a week. You know why, because the grandmother died on a bus a week earlier, was taken to a morgue and couldn't be identified and wasn't claimed so she was cremated. Is it even legal to cremate someone after just a week? And no matter how old, I can't imagine this little old lady getting on the bus and going to work with no sort of ID on her. Even my senile old great-grandmother, who we found out after she died that she hadn't opened or let alone cleaned her fridge in 10 years, had an expired driver's license from the 70's stuffed into her old lady bag.

So of course the married boyfriend tries to rape the young girl because someone always has to get raped (there's some of your drama) and the Spanish live-in handy man comes to the rescue. He leaves, April fixes her life and everyone lives happily ever after.

There are 2 reasons why this movie is on the bottom 100 on IMDb. 1) Because much of the IMDb population sees Tyler Perry's name and automatically rate it a 1. This is why IMDb's rating often doesn't count. If people see that Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus is in a movie they are going to rate it a one because they probably thing it is "teh sux." 2) Tyler Perry created another movie using the same plot assuming my 46 year old mother would go and start screaming her "Oh lord honey!" and her "No she didn't! I know she didn't just do that!" But somewhere people caught on and realized that Perry is spiting the same drivel over and over. This movie had a horrible story, horrible acting (aside form Ms. Henson) and unnecessary placement of Madea.

Despite having a 3.6 on IMDb, the Family That Preys is my favorite Perry movie. It had some top notch actors (such as Kathey Bates and Alfre Woodard) and it has a story that was mostly different from the rest of his movies. Tyler Perry if you continue to think that black folk are going to just watch anything you write you're gonna end up broke in no time.

ThatWasJunk.blogspot.com

I'm going to keep this one short and simple.

Gentleman Broncos is the 3rd feature film written and directed by Jared Hess. Gentleman Broncos follows awkward sci-fi loving Benjamin as he tries to have his story, Yeast Lords, made into a "movie." But after going to a sci-fi camp and meeting his favorite sci-fi author, Chevalier played by Jemaine from Flight of the Concords, he steals Benjamin's idea and makes the book himself.

Now, first things first, unlike another That Was Junk writer, I like Napoleon Dynamite and I don't think it's the worst movie I've ever seen. I love it in fact; movies about awkward, weird people out of place people make me smile. And that's what this movie felt like. It's basically Napoleon Dynamite 2. The main character, Benjamin played by Micheal Angorano, isn't necessarily as weird as Napoleon Dynamite but everyone else around him is such as his mother, played by lovely Jennifer Coolidge who sells tacky clothing and giant balls of popcorn, is.

Everything and everyone is weird in this movie. And everyone is fitted in retroesque clothing and sporting bad haircuts. There is a lot of silly dialog and snappy one-liners that would make any teenager crack-up. Watching at 5 in the morning had me laughing, but honestly the lack of sleep could have been a factor. It's quite obvious Jared Hess has an odd and unique way of making movies. Even if one hates the dialog, I don't think anyone could deny that he is a great director. And cinematographer Munn Powell, also DP on Napoleon Dynamite, has a way of making Hess' movies look dated. Hess loves awkward, deformed, and over the top character. Héctor Jiménez, of Nacho Libre fame plays over-smiling and flamboyant Lonnie. Sam Rockwell plays the rough and tough Bronco and the flouncy Brutus. And Mike White plays the Jennifer Coolidge's slow husband. I loved all these characters because they were silly. I can most definitely guarantee that one of the big reasons this movie has a 5.4 on IMDb is because people hate the characters. They make you feel uncomfortable and have you asking "why are they doing that?" Their dialog, movements and just everything about them is completely unnecessary. So why do I love them, because everything about them is so unnecessary. It's like passing through a small town when you're coming from your big city home. Everything is surreal and you feel like you've stepped into another world. The Clothes are old fashion and the people are completely clueless. I love people and movies like that personally. I love movies that don't take their characters too seriously and can make them silly. It's the reason why I watch movies like G-Force from time to time.

If Napoleon Dynamite made you want to pull your eyeballs out then stay for from this movie, you won't like it.

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While watching this movie I was frustrated and distracted and by the end, I wanted to give the movie a solid 4 or 5. I thought the animation was random and all over the place and there was too much going on. Even my A.D.D couldn't keep up. It felt like a slight acid trip. Everything looked flat, there was no dimension to anything. There were so many shapes, lines and patterns. I really wanted to stop the movie mid-way and smash my burned copy of this movie. But after I finish watching it, I went online to read up on the movie and I should have done a little research into this movie before watching.

The Secret of Kells is loosely based on the true story about the original Book of Kells. A small boy, Brendan, is given the task of penning new pages in what is set to be the greatest book ever written. This book will contain information that will help "change darkness into light." Brendan lives in the village of Kells behind huge stone walls. Taking place in the 8th century, Brendan's uncle, the Abbot of Kells, is trying to build the wall to keep the Vikings out. Brendan's uncle insist he help complete the wall, but a traveler and keeper of "the book" secretly trains Brendan to hone in on his illustration skills, and convinces him to complete "the book" and carry out it's word.

The entire time I watched the movie I thought I was missing something because I didn't really understand what was going on. I figured I was just missing a piece of Irish history. A simple Google search taught me all I needed to know about the original Book of Kells. After reading many articles, my opinion of the movie greatly changed.

The Book of Kells is a copied version of the first few books of the New Testament transcribed into Latin by Gaelic monks in Ireland in the 8th century. Along with it's paleographic and insular script, the book is also beautifully illustrated in insular art, a type of early art form know for it's intricacy, complexity, and miniature illustrations. Much of the art in the Book of Kells is depicted as lots of art was at the time, flat and dimensionality challenged with no perspective. But what makes the Book of Kells stand out from other early pieces of art is it's use of many colors.

The Secret of Kells is very colorful. I originally thought the animation was flat and boring. It reminded me a lot of the cartoon Samurai Jack which also had a flat and "amine" look to it. Once I learned about the art styles of the Book of Kells, it's obvious that many of the styles from the book are mimicked in the movie. There are lines and swirls and various shapes that inhabit Brendan's mind. Whenever he goes into his imagination, circular shapes resembling the sun, cogs, clocks and wheels begin filling the screen. The edges of the screen become framed in decorated moving triangles or circles. Transitions are filled with color, and Celtic knots. From the trees to the floors, many things in this world are covered in shapes or patterns.

Clocking in at 70 minutes minus credits, The Secret of Kells is a fun little history lesson with a little adventure and silliness thrown in to keep people (maybe just children) interested. I think one has to generally be open-mined to The Secret of Kells as half art piece, half movie about history. Despite looking like it was animated with Adobe illustrator, It's a very nice looking movie. But based on the 20 films submitted for Oscar consideration, I don't think it was worth being nominated over Mary and Max.

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With RuPaul's Drag Race in full swing, I decided to give this gem a look see. In 2000, I saw 3 movies (But I'm a Cheerleader, Beautiful Thing and Get Real) about homos that told me that being a homo is cool and that not all homos are icky. This movie is one of the handfuls of gay movies that I find actually enjoyable (Brokeback Mountain not being one of them.) But I'm a Cheerleader follows teens as they are "dehomosexualized" at an Ex-gay camp. The 2 notable actors in this movie are RuPaul Charles (or just RuPaul if you're nasty) and Clea Duvall (well 3 if you want to count original Dreamlander and filth goddess Mink Stole.) Watching RuPaul play a semi-butch closeted "ex gay" was extremely hilarious. No one can do camp like Ms. Ru does camp. And this what this movie is, extremely campy. I love campy and over the top when it's done right. The thought of "de-gaying" these teens through various gender identifying role playing is great. The girls sleep in all pink rooms, wear all pink and handle objects in their simulations that are painted pink. While the boys fix blue cars, have blue guns, a blue ax and blue clothes.

Our protagonist, Natasha Lyonne, is a good Catholic cheerleader who is sent away to this ex-gay camp because she eats tofu, doesn't liked being kissed by her sloppy kissing boyfriend, and hugs some of the other cheerleaders for too long. What makes this movie great is that it isn't one of those gay movies that shoves it down your throat or one that tries to show the reality of actual gays. What makes it great is that it doesn't take itself or gays that seriously while remaining serious at the same time. Make sense? It doesn't try to be preachy. It makes fun of gays and even more so, those who claim to be ex-gays.

Cathey Moriarty (of Casper fame) runs the camp. It's her job to make sure that the teens are de-gayed and perform in the sex simulation at the end of camp. And, at the same time, trying to butch-up her son, CSI Miami's own Eddie Cibrian. But I'm a Cheerleader teaches gays to laugh at their sexually and those who oppose it. That no matter how many fake babies' diapers you change, how many logs you chomp chop, or how many people of the opposite sex you kiss you're gay, accept it. And that it's not something you need to get rid of just because you're super religious and right-winged parents don't think it's "normal."

The Fisher King is the first of Terry Gilliam's Trilogy of Americana (followed up with Twelve Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.) The purpose of the Trilogy of Americana is to follow 3 American's (in America no less) as they experiences madness and insanity. The Americana movies are a little less fantastical than Gilliams other movies, but they still manage to have that element of fantasy that Gilliam is known to have in all his movies. In the Fisher King, Robin Williams is basically an insane homeless man who saves Jeff Bridges from being burned to death. Jeff Bridges then makes sure to go out of his way to help Robin Williams anyway he can. Robin Williams is AMAZING in this movie. Honestly, any movie where a person can play crazy very well will win me over. Gilliam has a knack for always having weird and over the top characters in movies, but his characters are never annoyingly over the top, they're over the top in the most entertaining way. I'm glad Williams was nominated for an Oscar for this role. To go from batpoo crazy to spewing an emotional monologue about The Fisher King isn't easy I'm sure. The Fisher King has a great story and great acting. Gilliam's bizarre camera movements were lacking a bit for this movie but that's fine, this movie wasn't the kind of movie that needed jerky movements and epic angles.

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Part 2 of Gilliams Trilogy of Americana follows Bruce Willis (in the greatest state of all, Pennsylvania) as he travels back and forth through time trying to find the cause of a virus that wiped out most of the human race. Before I begin, I have to say that I have a weakness for post-apocalyptic movies and time travel. Now to put them both in the same movie!? My head's gonna a'splode! This movie wasn't your typical go-back-in-time-and-save-the-girl type time travel movie. Bruce Willis' character, James Cole, isn't going back because he wants to but because he is forced to since he is a prisoner in post-apocalyptic Philadelphia. I, again, have to comment on Gilliam's directing style. He has a way of capturing craziness like no one else. Not only do we see his eccentric and outrageous characters blowing up and acting insane, but we also kind of feel it. Gilliam is a fan of epic close-ups and steady cam. Both give us a better feel of what's going on inside a character's head. I felt that a lot whenever Brad Pitt was having a schizophrenic moment in the movie. Side note, this movie promptly reminded me that Brad Pitt is an awesome actor. Brad Pitts frantic eyes and birdlike jerkiness made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable like I don't want to be around retards but, more like I wanted to reach out to him and say "Are you OK? Do you need some water?" If anything, Brad Pitt is a great reason to watch this movie.

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