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Slotherhouse (2023)
6/10
A prime example of "So bad it's good".
17 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Sloth: A deceptively dangerous animal capable of incredible speed and strength.

Difficult to kill and capable of surviving stabbings, swords, beatings, being hit by a car and multiple gun shots.

Highly intelligent and can perform complex tasks like planning murders, disposing of bodies, driving cars and starting trends on Instagram.

This creature can also take hostages and plan exchanges as well.

This movie has a ridiculous concept of a killer sloth and implies all sloths are dangerous.

It knows its ridiculous and wears this with a passion.

Plus, I love the design. No CGI, just a normal puppet. Low budget, but it looks lovingly designed and created.

Just switch your brain off about enjoy the film 😆
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Death Valley (II) (2021)
7/10
Fun action horror movie
17 December 2022
Pretty decent low budget action horror. Good special effects and some decent acting from fun, likeable leads.

There are some problems with the xcript and heavy foreshadowing, but there are some good twists like the young man who spots them at the beginning of the mission.

No spoilers, but it has a couple of good pay offs.

Love the time spent fighting the human enemy first before the monsters. I do love a good military fighting monsters movie.

Excellent location and fight sequences. The hand to hand at the end being pretty good. Lead actor Jeremy Ninaber is also the fight coordinator so he looks like he had fun with that.

It's a good movie and worth watching.
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The Lair (2022)
6/10
Fun horror from Neil Marshall
25 August 2022
Saw this at the FrightFest premier in London.

A descent and gory horror movie with British and American troops in Afghanistan fending off monsters created from Russian experiments left over from their tine in Afghanistan.
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7/10
Fun abd stylish tine travel adventure
25 August 2022
Saw this at the FrightFest in London at the international premiere.

It's a fun story with great jokes and humour. The tine is set up within the first few minutes.

Just try not to think of the rules of time travel too much and enjoy the ridiculous fun.
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The Vault (2021)
3/10
So bland. So very bland.
12 October 2021
Such a dull and lifeless film.

Lead character Thom brought on as the brains is so smug and unlikeable you just want to slap him the more you see him. I deducted stars based on Freddie Highmores character and performance alone.

Why everyone let's him take over as leader is beyond me.

The supporting cast all give tired and phoned in performances that feel like it was their first rehearsal. It's like they knew nothing could save this bland and lifeless script and directing so didn't even try.
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Crabs! (2021)
6/10
Utterly Bonkers
27 August 2021
Just dumb fun. Switch off your brain and have fun. Try not to read too much info as you don't want this spoiling.
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Aerials (2016)
1/10
DO SOMETHING!!!
30 January 2021
This is a film about alien ships above Dubai. How do you make this boring??? This has so much potential. Even Signs showed you can have a film with people sitting around whilst talking about aliens. Just two people sitting around having dull conversations. Its just monotonous. The script. The directing. The acting. It's just never ending . Terrible.
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5/10
A fantastic show, spoiled by two of the leads
26 January 2021
Let me start by saying Maisie Williams and Sian Clifford are fantastic and make their fight scenes believable and relationship sparkling as mother and daughter. In fact, nearly everyone is fantastic, except for the guys who played the brothers Nick and Jay. I had to take three stars off for them. Their dialogue and direction is just terrible. I even shouted at the screen for them to shut up. I'm sure they're ok as actors and comedians outside of this, but their characters, dialogue and direction are just terrible. Three stars I took off for them. It's a shame too as this could have been excellent with just mother and daughter seeking revenge. And maybe a better love interest.
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3/10
I really hoped they all died
3 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Every single bad decision you can make in a zombie movie they make. Every warning sign ignored. Every lapse in judgment. They are all here. Zoe is a terrible person. Arrogant with a holier than thou attitude. Really annoys me. Also, her boyfriend ignores dozens of screaming women and children to save his girlfriend by opening doors to rescue her, even though this let's zombie's in??? I really hoped the main soldier would shoot her. Abd hus idiot brother. I really hated them all. Though, the concept if lead zombie Max is excellent. Very chilling and threatening. I'll give this an extra star for him.
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Henchmen (2018)
5/10
A lesser version of Minions or Megamind
23 December 2020
Did you ever watch Minions or Megamind and think they where too adult or edgy? Did you want to watch a cartoon from the Supervillains perspective but more kid friendly, less threatening and less challenging story wise? Then this is the very mediocre movie for you. Where there is no sense of danger and everyone has a stupid smile no matter what. There are worse ways for little kids to spend 88mins.
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7/10
Surprisingly descent movie with good twists.
23 October 2020
There's a lot of negative reviews for this film, and they are not deserved. People watch a guy getting killed and do nothing except film it and are then hunted down and killed by an invisible force (this tine karma). Sure this type of stuff has been done before (Final Destination, Countdown etc), which could explain a lot of reviews, but it has enough twists and turns to put it above the rest. When Caitlin Kramer sees the murder and doesn't do anything to help she becomes wracked with guilt seeing horrific visions that only get worse as the other witnesses who did nothing are killed off. Is she being hunted by karma? Who is responsible for her visions and why? Many explanations are put forwards and all plausible. Is it the ghost of the murdered man? His grieving brother? The forces of karma? The investigating police officer who seems a little too sure she won't be next? Or could it be Caitlyn herself suffering from delusions and black outs? Its a satisfying explanation with twists you really won't see coming.
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Cuties (2020)
7/10
A disturbing look at society.
27 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A disturbing, and much needed, look at the sexualisation of young girls in todays society. It chronicles the depression and mental breakdown of Amy, an 11 year old Muslim girl in France, dealing with religious pressure as her father marries again and will soon be coming to live with them with his second wife. When she meets up with some young girls she starts to act out. Trying to meet the standards set of society. Whilst the dance scenes are sexualised, which is why there is do much controversy, its no more than what is normally deemed acceptable in most places. It is harsh viewing and uncomfortable to watch. But this does need to be talked about. This is a serious problem in society and films like this need to shine a light on it as it normally gets dismissed as harmless fun for young girls. The film is well acted and well scripted with the young actresses tackling some intense material. The film does abruptly end with the mother finally understanding her daughter is struggling and why. With just one olive branch offered we get a shot of Amy feeling better. Is thusvthe happy ending? I don't feel like she has addressed any real issues. Nude selfies at 11 and two cases of assault. One stabbing and another a near fatal drowning??? Other than an abrupt ending, his is a good film.
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7/10
A fantastic, slow burn horror thriller.
26 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Set in the high art world, its a wonderful horror about a dead artist whose cursed art work kills anyone selling it for profit only. We get introduced to the cast first and see who they are and they're motivations. Excellent performances all round from the cast. Their descent into madness, greed or denial is fantastic to watch. I love seeing them trapped in the art work. Its well worth watching and taking the time to get invested.
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Aquaslash (2019)
3/10
A fun premise that that was boring???
17 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
How do you take a fun premise like a water park booby trapped by a serial killer and make it boring? You take bland, unappealing actors, slow directing, fail to take advantage of the location and potential deaths and then stretch out the one death trap ti the point its boring and painful to watch. Seriously, they could have had so much fun with this and didn't. In fact, with only one in three slides rigged and people being sliced as they go down, I think you actually have to work to make the threat boring. The only good thing I can credit it for is the killers reveal. The park owners wife. A brilliant twist because you don't see her as a potential or even a red herring until the very end. Although this is spoiled by taking the motive, money and jealousy, and trying to attach it to deaths 35yrs ago for no reason. Best to avoid
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The Courier (2019)
4/10
A half descent B movie with a terrible ending
19 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
So there's lots if news articles about main Bad Guy Mannings and The Couriers time in Special Ops before quitting and becoming a vigilante. Honestly, a descent premise abd would have worked if she had intentionally been there. But she hadn't and this was just cheap exposition to explain her fighting skills rather than general fighter with some skills and a lot of luck. But it works OK. Just switch your brain off about the plot and sit back for the action. It's pretty good and makes use of the claustrophobic setting of a carpark they can't escape. Even feeling like the whole fight is in real time adding to the pressure. Olga Kurylenko acquits herself quite nicely in the action scenes. Amit Shah is good as guy who needs to be rescued. But everyone else just seems to either do nothing or just sleep walk through it having nothing to do. Gary Oldman really can do better. I was going to give this a good 6 stars as the action is pretty good. But then the end. All rapped up nicely and then the twist ending... Wow I hated it. Comes out of no where and goes nowhere. Witness is in hospital, then FBI head comes to say high. Ask him about the courier/vigilante and then.... goes to kill him??? In a hospital full of witnesses??? Letting the main bad guy go??? Evem though he's not being bribed??? Because he saw the vigilante and no one wants anyone to know about her???? WTF MOVIE???!!! It just has the two leads stop him by having a gun at the agent and then just stops. Why? Why? I'm taking two stars off for that. Terrible ending.
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Altitude (2017)
5/10
It was going so well, until the end.
29 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It started off pretty well. A descent B movie with some good cast and a lovely little psycho performance from Greer Grammer. Denise Richards and Dolph Lundgren where pretty much on autopilot, but everyone else gave effort. Plane gets captured by thieves who want stolen money. Rather than say its hijacked they pretend its a crash to cover their escape. Then they land and keep everyone on board to add bodies to look like they died in the crash and it goes down hill from there. The passengers escape whilst the plane us taking off??? Pretty sure they all died doing that. The Air Marshall goes insane for no reason and was on the take? Denise Richards and the main thief fall in love at the end? Way to spoil a half descent movie with an even worse ending guys.
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Iron Mask (2019)
5/10
You'd think Jackie Chan Vs Arnie would be more entertaining.
18 July 2020
Aside from a couple of decent, fight scenes, this movie is pretty paint by numbers. You'd think a fight scene with Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more epic, but it really isn't. Even though they have top billing, they are only in a handful of scenes which is more than a little disappointing. Unnecessary plot threads to pad everything out and, presumably, set up a third movie start to clog things up. Otherwise, its a harmless straight to streaming affair and will kill an hour. But nit really much more than that.
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Monster Party (2018)
7/10
Absolutely insane
23 May 2020
Three teenagers rob a house where they infiltrate as waiters for a party, only to find its a party for serial killers. With twists and turns and surprise deaths, its a fun slasher movie.
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5/10
It feels like two different films
19 March 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It starts off so well. A drama about high school, LGBTQ, toxic masculinity. Well acted, written and directed... for the first act. After the car crash killing the cheerleaders it quickly devolves into a generic Supernatural horror. Pretty substandard and loses a few stars. The cast do their best, but the material going forwards doesn't help and it feels like a different director takes over. It feels like theres an excellent drama/thriller here with a horror movie tacked on. The two times are just jarring and I cant help but think what an amazing horror film this would have been if the 2and and 3rd acts matched the 1st going on after the car crash. It's still worth a watch and there are a few good scenes in the horror arc.
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6/10
An excellent little thriller.
28 February 2020
It's a simple and straightforward script with some decent acting and enough red herrings to keep the story flowing to its inevitable conclusion with enough twists and turns to keep it interesting. Trims the fat nicely by keeping away too many B plots and all strings tie up nicely towards the end. An enjoyable thriller that, whilst not being an amazing game changer, is still an enjoyable watch.
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The Cleanse (2016)
5/10
Weird, disturbing and strangely engrossing.
19 February 2020
That was a strange movie. Doesn't really go anywhere. Just meanders without any real conflict. Kind if a WTf ending too. Strange.
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5/10
It's... better than the first Doom
30 December 2019
Granted it doesn't have The Rock, Karl Urban or the special effects, but the script and action are better. Slightly. Thus isn't saying much though. Plus, we see The BFG being used. More than once. And they do call it The Big F Gun as well
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5/10
It started so promisingly as well
3 November 2019
It had a good premise. Some good ideas and started fairly well. Then it went off on a tangent trying to throw in plot twists and just ends up a disjointed mess.
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9/10
Best British High School Musical Christmas Zombie Horror Movie ever!
27 October 2019
Just a fun and excellent horror musical. Wonderful cast, script and effects.
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The Task (2011)
5/10
Pretty decent Horror Movie.
25 October 2019
Low budget, but with a solid cast building everything up. Would have given more for a better ending without the twists before the end. But otherwise pretty solid and worth watching.
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